A one-shot story about two people meeting in the heart of summer.

You might as well just call me the AU Queen. I can't stop myself with all these AU plot bunnies swirling in my head. This little ditty popped into my head and I wanted to get it out there.

Don't worry, the Doomed to Fail-verse will be concluded soon. My next multi-chapter story will be a little more rooted in the actual timeline.

But, like I said, I just cannot help myself. I get an AU idea, and I just run with it!

By the way, I know very little about the Schlitterbahn parks, so I may have embellished or gotten details wrong. I hope the basic plot though is worth it.

I don't own TBBT or any of its characters.

Downhill Racer Slides

Schlitterbahn, New Braunfels, TX

Sheldon Cooper was analyzing every detail of the slide system. Height. Hill location. Exact amount of water being pumped onto the slide per minute.

"Sir, can you please take your place?"

"Sir, would you prefer someone go ahead of you?"

He vaguely heard the slide attendants attempting to speak to him, but he was too deep in examination to fully hear them or care.

Finally, a girl popped up next to him from her place on the slide. She was not quite as tall as him, but she puffed up to her maximum height.

"Hey, buddy, if you are too much of a fraidy cat , will you at least leave so the rest of us can go, geez!" She motioned toward the stairs, and he saw fire in her green eyes.

He looked back at her with disdain. "I am not a fraidy cat. I am using physics to analyze this slide and the factors with which one would successfully arrive to the bottom first."

She looked at him like he was an idiot, and then motioned toward her upper torso. "Have ya seen my boobs? Hello. Face down slide. Trust me, I got this."

He actually hadn't seen her breasts, but when she drew attention to them, he couldn't help but glance at her buxom chest area. For one, he was raised a complete gentleman. And for two, he, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, just didn't think like that, the way many men did. Of course, now that he saw them, he would be lying if he said he didn't appreciate them.

The blonde woman was wearing a one piece 50s style swimsuit. It hugged her curves and accentuated her body in a way no bikini could have. Also, the modest covering of her skin certainly intrigued him.

Whoa, Cooper, where did that come from?

"Well, while your hypothesis is not rooted in science in any way, shape, or form, I do acknowledge that the basis of your hypothesis may have some merit." In Sheldonspeak, She was probably right. "Very well, let us go."

He squatted down and when the horn went off, he pushed off with all his might.

Not only did the blonde make it to the bottom first, she went the farthest. She climbed out of the slide and waited for him with a smug smile on her face. He scowled.

They both stood at the end of the slide. He was looking up at the top of the slide, hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

"I believe if I made slight adjustments to the force with which I pushed off in congruence with the angle, I could improve my time. Thus, if I could go over the first hill as near to the slide as possible, thereby displacing the amount of water between myself and the surface, I could pick up speed going into the second hill, creating a domino effect if you will. I do believe on a second trial, I would be able to execute these changes." In Sheldonspeak, Wanna go again?

She saw right through him. "You're on!" She took her mat and started walking quickly toward to stairs, with him trailing right behind her.

They went on the racer slides five more times. In two of them, the girl won the whole heat. In two, she got beat by someone else, but still beat him. In the final one, he beat her, much to her chagrin.

She was laughing as they put up their slide mats. Sheldon himself didn't laugh often, but he did have an unusually silly smile on his face. They fell into step together, side by side, walking along the concrete pathway.

"You finally got me," she said happily.

His ears burned a bit. "Well, I may have activated a subroutine thereby changing the conditions of the experiment."

She grabbed his arm to still him, and whipped around to face him. She had a small smile on her face, but if he was reading his facial cures correctly, she almost seemed impressed.

"You cheated."

"Kirk cheated," he responded with pride.

"And Spock owned his ass," she poked her finger into his chest. "Don't you forget it."

She turned to walk on, and he sped up to walk next to her, attempting to walk and look at her at the same time. "Hey now lady, if anyone is Spock in this relationship, it's me."

The use of the word relationship was not intentional on his part. It was off the cuff. It just seemed like the right word to use at the time. They weren't really friends, so he couldn't say "friendship." Acquaintanceship, maybe? No matter, 'relationship' was the word that rolled off his tongue. The hue of pink her face became at the use of that word was well worth it.

"If anything," he continued, "you'd be James T. Kirk. A blonde rogue, with a bit of a devil-may-care attitude. That seems to suit you just fine."

"Hmmmm," she pondered. "You are Spock, you say?"

"Always."

"That's fine. But, I am no Kirk. I actually see myself more as Uhura."

He felt heat rising in his cheeks, wondering if she knew what she was implying. He hoped that the heat was not reflecting in the coloring on his face.

It was hard to imagine that he came to this water park and was having this conversation with someone he had just met. It was even harder to believe that he was having this conversation with a beautiful girl.

She slowed down and pointed to some tables. "I'm going to get something to drink. Want to join me?"

He didn't say anything. He didn't even nod. But, he followed alongside her, and that was as much of an answer as he could give.

...

The pair sat on a picnic table underneath an umbrella. She sipped a cup of fruit punch, while he nursed a Diet Coke.

"Is there no one else you are here with?" he asked curiously, unable to meet her eyes.

"Nope, I am here by myself."

He looked up at her then. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I work here. I'm actually from Nebraska, but got offered a job here and couldn't turn it down. They have shows over in the amphitheater, real quick 15 minute shows, but something different for guests. I'm an actress in it. Anyway, we have Mondays off, so I like to come and use my free admission then. So, here I am."

An awkward silence fell over them.

"What about you?" she asked, trying to jump start the conversation.

"I am actually from Galveston. I'm just here for the day."

"I see. So why does a guy come to a water park to stare at the slides and," she air quoted, "'analyze' them?"

He finished off his drink and then spoke. "Well, I actually work at a university out in California. We were offered quite a prestigious opportunity. My job this summer is to look at everyday things- grocery shopping, a trip to the water park, building a deck- and find the physics in them, in order to create situations that could be compiled into an anthology of sorts."

She nodded, seeming to follow along.

"Perhaps I should have explained. My university was asked by a publisher to put together a basic physics textbook. It would be used for advanced high school students as well as entry level college students at places of learning across the country. A very large grant came along with the opportunity. And, having our name on something published is very valuable."

"Ah, I see now. That does sound interesting."

"Yes, well, unfortunately the academic level we are aiming for, high school and early college, that is, requires more menial examples than the ones we could use from the labs at Cal Tech. I knew that I wouldn't be able to produce the kinds of situations appropriate for the textbook within the confines of Cal Tech, surrounded by the brightest minds that science has to offer." She tilted her head at him, but didn't speak. "So, I thought to myself, 'Where can I go to find the most mundane tasks and people in the country?' Of course, I realized 'East Texas.'"

"I'm sure your family really appreciates that," she responded dryly.

He shrugged. "They are so happy to have me home for the summer, especially my Meemaw, they don't mind the insults."

She narrowed her eyes. "Cal Tech, you said? In Pasadena?"

"Yes?"

"My ex-boyfriend used to work there. He still might, for all I know. Leonard Hofstadter?"

"Ahhh," he said with familiarity. "Yes, I know Leonard, and yes, he still works there."

"Yeah. How is he?"

"Fine, I suppose. We work in different departments, so I don't necessarily see him all the time. He actually lived with me for a short time."

"Oh? Lived?"

"I am actually a very easy person to live with," he said in a haughty tone. "But, Leonard was just impossible. He was moody, sarcastic, rude…it just didn't work out. Which, again, like I said, I am easy to live with, so I think we know where the problem was."

She smiled. "Actually, I believe you."

He definitely was not expecting that. Most people always saw his uptight personality and penchant for order as a negative quality, a downfall. In any conflict, people typically took the opposing person's side.

She continued on. "We met at the Omaha airport. I was working at a coffee cart, and he was on a layover. We tried to make the long distance thing work. He was always so insecure and jealous and made me feel guilty for living my life. He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong."

He nodded in complete agreement. "He seems to do better in relationships when he dates someone equal to or below him in looks and/or intelligence. He is much more tolerable, less self-doubting. The girlfriend he had while living with me, Dr. Stephanie, was more or less his equal, when it came to physical appearance and mental acumen. They worked well together. It didn't work out, sadly. But, he did not exhibit signs of jealousy or anxiety during their time together. Anyway, you were clearly out of his league."

Her cheeks reddened. "Actually, I think you are right. As sad as that sounds, I think he needs to date 'down.' Most people want to find someone better than them. Couples can lift each other up, make each other better. Where one lacks something, the other makes up for it. If you ask happily married couples, they will often say, 'I married up' or whatever. But, I think Leonard is just one of the rare few that want, or almost need, to be the best person in the relationship. It gives him superiority and power."

"I find it hard to believe a woman like you would lack in male suitors to the point that Leonard Hofstadter would be the best option for you."

The girl smiled shyly. "I'm going to take that as a compliment…"

He interrupted. "It was a compliment."

"Anyway, I'm at the point…I don't want to settle for just some guy. In our little acting community here at the park, people are always hooking up. But, the guys I know…I'm just not interested. I want someone handsome and smart and interesting. Why would I want someone exactly like me? I want someone different from me, to challenge me."

"It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders." He stared at the bottom of his empty cup.

"What about you? Anyone special back in California?"

He shook his head. "Science is my one and only true love."

"Oh," she said quietly.

They stood from the table and threw their cups away.

"You are from Galveston?"

"I believe I said as much."

"Why didn't you just go to the Schlitterbahn there, then?"

"I firmly subscribe to the belief that the original of something is always the best. And, New Braunfels is the original, is it not?"

"It is," she replied.

"Also, I may have been banned for life from that park for an incident I'd rather not discuss." He fought to hide a smirk.

When he looked down at her, she was looking up at him, her lips just slightly curling at the corners in a half smile, shaking her head.

...

They spent the rest of the afternoon together, trying out a variety of different attractions. He was familiar with the park from attending as a child, and she went there most of her days off, but experiencing it as a couple, er whatever they were, was a different experience entirely.

Some of the slides required persons to be in close proximity. He blushed when they were on a double tube slide, and he had to wrap his arms around her smooth legs to grasp the handles.

By the end of the day, they were familiar enough with each other that they kept their legs entangled together as they floated along in the lazy river. Sheldon explained that with their different weights and the external factors existing in the lazy river itself, they would likely get separated. He pointed out a couple who kept their legs propped onto their companion's raft, in order to adjoin the rafts. It was the easiest way to stay together. It was…logical.

As they laid back and drifted along, inexplicably, he crossed the line first. He removed his hand from the tube grip, moving it to her ankle. He was trembling. He waited for the shaking to subside and then kneaded her skin from her ankle to her calf, no more than that. He was a gentleman.

She didn't acknowledge him at all, except than when he looked over at her, her face was smiling in contentment.

Things became even more physical when they went into the wave pool. They waded along, until they were both chest deep. She sneaked up behind him, jumped up, wrapped her hands on his shoulders and attempted to push him under the water.

Having a twin sister, he was more than familiar and ready for the "sneak attack." In his youth, he had learned how to divert and avoid assault with the best of them. He bent his knees slightly to brace himself. At the exact moment she jumped up, he reached behind him and grasped her legs under her thighs, holding her piggyback style.

"Gotcha," he turned his head and said to her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tightly. In one smooth movement, he fell backwards into the water, dipping them both beneath the surface. When he stood back up, she was still hanging onto him by the neck, and he still held a leg on either side of him.

The waves lulled, and they remained as they were.

"So what are the physics involved in being unable to shake someone off of you in a wave pool?"

"Um…uh…er…" he stuttered.

She rested her head against his shoulder, and he exhaled a deep breath, one he was sure she would have felt or at least heard.

"Wake me up when the waves come back on."

He didn't reply.

Moments later, sensations shot throw him from head to foot and everywhere in between, when he felt her lips pressing into his skin. He stood completely still, thinking perhaps he was imagining it. Those thoughts were dashed, though, when her lips began to move around, kissing different spots along his shoulder.

Immediately, he dropped her thighs, reached up and pried her hands from around his neck. He looked away from her.

She walked around, trying to catch his eye. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's okay, it's just…"

At that moment, the water started to pick up. "Oooh, the waves are back!" She yelled to him.

After the wave pool, they both decided to dry off and leave. It was awkward, and he felt bad that the day was ending in such a fashion, especially after all the enjoyment they had.

He swallowed deeply as they reached the park exit. They turned to each other, and she held out her hand. "Well, I guess this is it."

He shook her hand and nodded. "I guess so. I had a nice time."

He looked down at his feet, unsure what else there was to say, but absolutely wanting to stay in her presence even a brief moment longer.

"Maybe I'll see you around?" He looked up and caught her rolling her eyes at herself.

"Um, yeah, maybe," he was unconvincing.

"Well, bye," she waved and walked off toward the employee parking lot, as he stood motionless until she was out of sight.

Tuesday morning, Penny felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks. There hadn't been a single minute since she departed yesterday that she hadn't thought of him, the dark haired stranger with an adorable accent that came and went.

On the drive home, she had smacked her head in realization that she had never even gotten his name. Nor had she offered him hers. In all the fun and talking and exploring, they had forgotten to formally introduce their selves to each other.

She tied on her shoes. She felt so bad about the situation. Sure, she had hooked up with a number of guys in bars whose names she didn't know. But, this was the first time she had fallen for someone, and had no way to contact him. No name, no nothin'.

He did say he worked at Cal Tech. Perhaps she could call the operator there, and if she asked them about someone in the physics department from Galveston, Texas, they'd be able to give her a name. She could even call Leonard; she was sure he'd know who she was talking about. But, she really wanted to avoid talking to him at all costs.

Then, she remembered. He hadn't asked for her name either. He had referred to his career as his only love. He had broken their embrace quite decisively in the wave pool. Maybe he wasn't interested after all. It was a one day only thing for him. Maybe it was just as well that they didn't exchange information. At least now, she could just move on with her life. The last thought pained her.

She stepped onto the stage, ready for their third performance of the day. The bench seats in the covered amphitheater were packed.

Halfway through, she had danced around the stage and tipped her cowgirl hat to one of the other actors on the stage. She looked out into the crowd, faces smiling and clapping along.

In one instant, a lady in the fifth row bent down to grab something out of her purse, and right behind her she saw the mystery man, watching her intently. Her eyes went wide and she fell out of step, for a moment forgetting her next line.

She got back into it, finishing the show, but with a swarm of butterflies in her stomach the whole time. At the end, the audience applauded. All the performers joined together and took a bow. Then, people started to file out of the space.

She looked past the throng of people, wondering if he too had left. Then, he was right there, standing in front of her, holding a bouquet of flowers.

He cleared his throat. "I believe it is customary to present flowers in appreciation of one's performance." He held them out.

She smiled softly and took them. "Thank you, they're beautiful."

"Can we talk?"

She looked around to see that they were alone. "Sure. My next set is in 45 minutes though."

"I'll be quick."

They moved to the third row and sat down next to each other.

"I thought you were only here for the day?" she asked.

"I was."

"Well, what are you doing back?"

He held up a notebook. "I decided that attending a variety show could be my next everyday activity to investigate."

She smiled, but looked down at her lap. "Well, that is an interesting thing to choose."

"Plus," he hesitated as she looked up at him. "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Her eyes softened as she looked into his beautiful blue eyes. "Really?" she whispered.

"Really. I have never met anyone like you before. Never."

"The feeling's mutual."

"You befriended me right away. We talked and had fun together and you treated me like any normal person. Most of the time, people treat me like some genius weirdo to wash their hands of."

"Yes, and you treated me like just a normal girl," she went along. "You didn't see me for just my body or looks. You didn't spend time with me because I was hot or you thought you'd get something out of it. We just…got along."

"You give me far too much credit. You have an exquisite body. A person would have to be blind to miss that fact. I just put much less stock in such things than the average male."

She blushed. "Well, I happen to think you have gorgeous eyes."

"And your eyes are aesthetically pleasing as well."

"Thank you. You have nice hands. I noticed them almost right away. Very firm and strong." She reached down and grasped his hand, interlacing their fingers.

His eyes were fixated upon her mouth. Her stomach was flip flopping. Was he going to kiss her?

"I noticed your smile right away. Or rather your different smiles. The big, bright one. The smirk. The teasing one. The shy one, where you just barely move your…lips." He had to choke out the last word.

His eyes were still focused on her lips, and he licked his own, leaning in only slightly.

The air was thick between them. She felt his hands quivering beneath hers. She leaned up into him a small amount, hoping to encourage him to come the rest of the way on his own. This only led to more twitching in his hand.

She reached out with her free hand and cupped his cheek to cajole him. "Hey, it's alright. Don't be nervous. Do you want to kiss me?"

The man nodded, not looking at her.

"Well, I would like to kiss you, too. So, how about we meet in the middle?"

He looked up, searching her eyes. He nodded again.

"Okay, on the count of three. One…two…"

She didn't finish the count; as she started to learn forward and say "three," he crossed into her space and kissed her timidly.

The kiss was stiff at first. She wasn't expecting it, so it took her a moment to settle into it. Eventually, she started to kiss him back, and he softened his movements. It was a short kiss, no more than a minute, and they pulled apart.

"Whoa," she let out approvingly.

"Whoa indeed."

They looked into each other's eyes with palpable intensity.

She broke the silence. "So, I'm Penny."

"I'm Sheldon. Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

"Well, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, if you'd like to come back in about an hour, I have a break from 12-2."

"I can do that. What would you like to do during your break? I brought my swim trunks just in case."

"No, no, nothing like that. I can't get my hair wet. I'll still have shows in the afternoon."

"Okay."

"We could just talk, get to know each other, or get to know each other."

"You said that phrase twice," he pointed out.

"They have different meanings. I swear, I thought you were the smart one," she chided. "We can get to know each other as in talk or get to know each other as in…"

She kissed him softly on the lips. He pulled his hand from hers and placed his hands around her waist as hers wrapped around his neck. He pulled away to look into her eyes.

"Oh, I do believe I get it now."

"Good."

"I do believe if I adjusted the tilt of my head from 38 to 45 degrees, applied a specific amount of pressure to your mouth, and kept a very specific amount of saliva along my lips, we would be able to conclude if that would lead to a more satisfying experience."

Penny understood Sheldonspeak enough to know exactly what he was saying. "I can't wait to kiss you some more either."

They kissed a good while longer, exploring each other's lips innocently, until they heard a few catcalls and whistles.

They pulled apart and looked toward the stage where a handful of Penny's co-stars stood. "Hair and makeup need ya, Pen," one of them called to her.

She unclasped her hands from his neck, and he reluctantly removed his hands from her waist.

"Welp, that's me! I'll see you later?"

He dipped in to steal one more kiss from the lovely blonde starlet. "Later," he confirmed.

They both looked forward to later, when they would get to know each other and get to know each other.