It's been over 3 years since I last updated this story. I'd forgotten how much time and effort I had put into this, and reading back I wish I had finished it back then. But I'm going to try and finish it now. I'm writing a new Jily story that I am really excited for. I think the reason I stopped writing this story in particular is I wasn't happy with the quality of my writing, which re reading over now, wasn't actually that bad? Especially for how old I was at the time. Anyway. I hope some of you read this chapter and go, Oh my god, I remember this story, and maybe you'll be happy, maybe you'll be annoyed, or maybe you'll re read this story again. I do apologise for not finishing it sooner. But I will finish it. To the best of my ability.

*James's POV*

I held the letter to my parents in my hand, in the owlery and wondered what the consequences of my actions would be. My dad was going to ruin Lily's chances of having a career, they could bloody disown me. I'd be stopping a long line of purebloods, not that that mattered to me in the slightest, but I know it meant something to them. It sounds ridiculous of me to be even considering their opinions when it comes to my love life and overall happiness, but I know it's just how my dad was raised. I just hope he understands some day, that I had to do this.

Shaking my head, without a doubt that it was the right thing to do, I sent the letter out with my owl. Explaining to my parents that I was sorry to be a disappointment, but that I was also disappointed in them. I was in love with Lily, it wasn't just some silly crush that might eventually turn into something more threatening to them. It had already happened. I was crazy about her, ready to spend the rest of my life with her. Not that I had an engagement on my mind or anything, I just know I don't want to be with anyone else. I hoped that my mother would open the letter first, and that maybe she would be able to knock some sense into my dad, but for now... all I could do was wait for them to respond. Or cut me off? Whatever comes first.

Making my way back to the common room, it was almost like a weight had been lifted. Whatever comes of it, Lily and I will deal with the outcome.

"Well well well, if it isn't the dimwit who managed to rectify the messy situation." I heard as I walked into Lily and I's common room.

"What situat-" I began before I saw Marlene sitting with Lily, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows at me.

"I'm guessing you got around to telling Marlene about us then," I smiled, sheepishly.

"She did, finally. I was begging her all morning through class but she just kept saying 'I'll tell you when we have time, we're all good now, blah de blah blah blah," she went on," I was sitting there chewing my nails in anticipation. It was a nightmare."

"I know the feeling," Lily said, scrunching up her face.

"Nightmares? You'd know all about them Lil, they're your in-laws," I said with a wink, trying to make light of the current predicament.

"James," she warned. As if I wasn't completely right.

"You said it was mostly your Dad though didn't you?" Marlene said, looking between the two of us. "Surely you Mum will make him understand. She only wants your happiness James, did she see your side?"

"She does, I just don't know if it'll be enough to matter," I said sighing. I'd had enough of this for the day, and I think Lily could sense it.

"Nevermind it now James, we'll be fine. How about we do something fun tonight?" Lily suggested,"A getting back together party."

I laughed,"You, Lily Evans are suggesting a party?" I said, completely stunned.

"If it'll take your mind off things, and make you happy. Of course I am," she said standing up and walking over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and embracing me in a warm hug. I still hadn't gotten used to being back with her yet. It was like we were back in our honeymoon stage, I was so happy when she was around.

"I'm happy as long as I'm with you," I said, squeezing her tightly.

"Vomit," Marlene said in a mono tone.

"Give us a break would you Marlene, I'm still Lily deprived." I said placing my hand protectively on Lily's head and pulling a face of despair.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go find Justin. See if he wants to come to this 'party' we're having," Marlene laughed, getting up and walking towards the portrait hole.

"Alright Marls, try not to invite too many people," Lily called, still tangled in my arms.

"I won't, see you Lil, James," The portrait hole closed and I pulled away from Lily.

"Justin? Like that guy from Slytherin?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, we talked about her getting with him around new years, but because of all our drama, it sort of got left behind. I feel guilty actually. I think I need to pry a bit more into what happened at new years with Sirius. She obviously isn't keen on talking to him, if she's going off to find Justin." she said pulling us to sit on the couch by the fireplace.

Lily lay down putting her head in my lap. I stroked her hair as she ask my opinion on Sirius and their situation.

"Do you think they'll end up together?" she asked.

"I don't know. I think it will be a lot for Marlene. Sirius is pretty damaged, as much as he plays it off that he doesn't care, he misses having a family. He's just too proud to say, and so he just goes out and hooks up with random girls to give him a 'I could care less' attitude," I frowned, concerned for my friend, the more I went on.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I just think Sirius would get better if he was with Marlene. He'd have someone to share everything with, so he didn't have to bottle it all up, and act out the way he does. I know it hurts Marlene to see him getting around," she said, shifting how she was laying to look up at me.

"Maybe it is best for Marlene if she moves on with Justin," I thought out loud.

"Maybe, but then who knows if Sirius will ever change his ways and be happy," she said frowning, looking like she was concerned for Sirius. It makes me so warm inside, knowing that Lily cares for my friends this way. Sure it was involving her friend, but she was mostly concerned with what would happen to Sirius. Merlin, I loved her for that. I needed to tell her it more often.

"I love you Lily," I said, because I was grateful. I was grateful for how everything had panned out. Talking about Sirius and Marlene and their mess makes me appreciate the fact that we were together, happy, and were never going to be apart again.

"I love you too James," she giggled, I could tell she was wondering why I'd said it so out of the blue.

"I'm just grateful, you know? I get to be with you, I get to have you to love me, take care of me, be there for me. I don't think Sirius knows what that's like because his family has always rejected him. And because of that, he refuses to think he needs that from anyone. I think thats why he pushes people away. Sometimes even me." I said, thinking back to the couple of times Sirius had shut me out. When it came to his family, I usually was told everything. But as soon as Regulus comes up, it's like it hits a nerve and he completely shuts down.

"I'm grateful too James. As long as we're together, I am happy," she said, turning towards me for a hug.

I embraced her and we just sat for a good five minutes, just being with each other. Lily broke from the hug and began to get up.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Someone's got to start getting this place party ready," she said putting her hands on her hips," And someone else needs to start inviting."

She was referring to me, "Ahhh, okay okay. I'll get right on that miss Evans."

The night had just begun. Lily had pulled through with some really cool stuff. Bar style tables for people to gather around, chairs, a table for games like fire-whiskey pong as I like to call it. There was even a lighting system that make enough light around the room for things to be sophisticated and relaxed. Everyone that came in was so shocked at how the head dorm looked, as obviously they had never been in there. We had pushed the couches to the outside of the area so there was room to dance. Lily managed to even get some turntables for us to play some records on. One of the other chasers in our quidditch team has a brother that is super skilled at mixing music. I couldn't believe how things were turning out.

"How did you manage all this?" I said in her ear slightly because the music was pretty loud. Everyone was mingling well, dancing to the music, having a good time.

"There's a little party section in a muggle store in Hogsmeade. I'm in there each visit, the clerk is a mate, so most of this stuff I'm just 'hiring' I guess." she said shrugging.

"The clerk?" I asked, sort of meaning it as more of a question. Who is it, surely not some guy? I think Lily could read my thoughts.

"A girl you tosser," Lily said rolling her eyes and taking a sip from her drink.

"Ah, yes. I was just curious is all," I said trying to act cool."What about the bar tables and stuff? Surely not from there."

"Actually they're from a supply closet I know about because of Professor Slughorn. He holds 'parties' all the time, and I always offer to help set up." she winked. How naughty of her? She wouldn't normally do something like this. She was doing a great job at distracting me from the problems we were going to have to deal with sooner or later.

On that thought, I downed the rest of my drink and gave Lily a hard kiss,"You're amazing, you know that?"

She smiled, "I'd do anything for you James." She said setting herself under my shoulder and rubbing my back. We turned out, to observe everyone having a good time. People were laughing, drinking, enjoying their youth. I smiled as I saw Remus even enjoying a game of beer pong. He was sober enough to be completely annihilating Sirius. I laughed to myself, and Lily smiled up at me.

"Go help Sirius, he's going to get alcohol poisoning," she laughed. I kissed her on the fore head and made my way over to the two idiots I called my best friends.

"Prongsie! Look, yarr bout to witness the great-great t-est comeback in all whiskey-pong histrrry!" Sirius slurred. He'd had way too much.

"How about I help you out with that mate," he made a face of disgust so I added,"Padfoot and Prongs, the dream team."

Sirius loved when I referred to us 'the dream team' I think he misses the old days when I wasn't so occupied, and spent most of my time with him. A huge smile erupted on his face and he threw his arm over my shoulder,"Yesssss, dream teeeeeeam," he sung.

"You don't mind do you Remus," I said, throwing the ball, missing, and cursing under my breath. I gave Remus a knowing look. He just rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Of course not, I can take you both on my own," he said, throwing the ping pong ball back, it going straight into the one of five cups in front of me.

I winced, "I got it mate!" Sirius tried to grab for the cup, but I swooped in quickly and stole it for myself.

"All good Padsy, I've got to hold my own for the dream team," I said, downing the extremely strong cup of fire-whiskey and soda. I shook my head, this was gonna hit me hard. I don't know how many more of these Sirius can take without passing out. I might have to have at least 3 of the 4 left.

"You're a goo-great great friend James. I missyo-u being withus" he spluttered. As he threw the ball, which completely missed. I just laughed and gave Sirius a pat on the back.

"I know mate, I miss you guys too. I'll try and be around for you a bit more," I said as Remus sank another one of our cups. Sirius was looking away at something else, so I grabbed the cup and quickly disposed of the evidence so he wouldn't notice.

"What was that about a comeback?" Remus asked, cracking his knuckles, trying to mock-intimidate us.

"Can you believe him Padfoot? The ego on him, honestly," I said nudging Sirius back to reality. He just grunted and picked up the ping pong ball.

"Yeaah, my turn is it?" he asked, seeming a little less excited from when I first showed up. I looked over to the area that Sirius was focused on before. Marlene was talking to Justin Fently from Slytherin. Well... now I know why he's drunk. And why he's all of a sudden in a shite mood.

Sirius missed the next two shots he had,"Fuck sakes." he cursed.

"It's alright mate, it's just a game. I'm just having fun with you guys, who cares if we have to drink all this," I said, trying to lighten the mood and keep Sirius distracted. I looked for Lily, she was over talking to Frank and Alice. I caught her eye and she smiled and mouthed 'everything okay?' I made a face of 'Yeah, sort of'. She pointed to herself and then over to me, asking if I wanted her help.

I shook my head and gave her a thumbs up for reassurance. She smiled, and went back to her conversation with Frank and Alice.

Remus ended up winning beer pong of course. Even with my help, Sirius was just far too pissed to be able to win. I was getting a bit too tipsy myself, I really needed to cool it. We had quidditch tomorrow, and although Sirius gets over his hangovers by flying and hitting bludgers with bats, I did not. No more drinking for me. I asked Remus, if he'd watch Sirius and try and keep him out of trouble while I found Lily.

"I'll try mate," he said shrugging. "You know what he's like."

"Very true. Alright I won't be long, just distracting him from those two," I said nodding my head in the direction of Marlene and Justin who were getting closer in proximity. Remus nodded and went to go grab Sirius to get some water.

I found Lily talking to Hestia and Mary, of course, because Marlene was occupied. The two of them smiled as I approached, I assumed they'd been told our sob story too. Lily turned around to see who they were looking at, and she smiled holding her hand out for me to grab.

"How's Sirius?" she asked, squeezing my hand.

"4 drinks more sober than he would've been if it weren't for me," she laughed."I think as long as Remus keeps an eye on him, he should stay out of troub-"

I stopped because the entire place went dead silent. Everyone stopped dancing and looked around for the culprit. Next thing we all knew, Sirius was on top of a table next to where the music was. Oh no, what the hell Remus? What happened to keeping him out of trouble.

"Hello everyone!" he yelled, as he flung a flask around."I'd just-t like to take am mmoment to ack nolageee the happy happy happppyyyyy couple!"

Sirius gestured over to Lily and I. I cringed internally but held a smile, so I didn't embarrass Sirius. Who knows what he was going to say. He continued on, after a small cheer from everyone.

"I've known that theses two should be togetherr since forvererrr. They're two peeps in a pod, made to beeee. Lily, you're so greatr and James, James my brother! You're such a good gooood guy." Everyone laughed, and there were a couple yeah's and yoewww's from some of the quidditch boys.

As I went to thank Sirius, he went on."Unlike meee. Right peoplee, am I right. Huh Marlene. Good for nothing I say." Sirius said as the whole room went quiet.

"Cheers!" he yelled as he guzzled down his flask. I saw Marlene storm out of the common room, Justin staying behind looking extremely awkward.

Everyone just mumbled a small 'Cheers' unsure of how to react to the current situation. This was a train wreck, I looked to Lily and we both knew exactly what to do. I was going to Sirius, she was going for Marlene.

"See you when you get back," I said, squeezing her hand and heading towards Sirius, who was on solid ground again somehow without falling. Lily gave a solemn smile and headed out the door.

Sirius was causing a ruckus, pushing tables around, throwing random things. I jogged over and stopped him from smashing a glass. Remus gave me a look 'thank merlin you're here'.

"Sirius, mate you need to calm down. Please, just for me buddy." I said sounding sincere, but really I was starting to get annoyed. I had to hide it. If I got mad at him, this would only get worse. I managed to get him to stop by showing him the light machine.

"I'm sorry James, he literally disappeared as soon as I turned my back." Remus started to scramble. I knew it wasn't his fault. I tried to keep myself neutral.

"It's okay mate, I know what he's like. Could you do me a favour and start asking people to file out. Thank them for me though, would you?" I said as Sirius was pressing all the buttons to make the colours change.

"Yeah of course. I'll be back to help you with him when they're all out," Remus said, heading towards the crowded areas.

"Hey Sirius, wanna see something cool? Cooler than the lights actually," I said, trying to get him to follow me. Of course I was only going to take him into the bathroom so I could get him in the shower and keep him from vomiting anywhere but in there.

"She hates me James," he said, following me anyway as I lead him to the bathroom.

Sirius stopped fighting back as soon as we stepped into the bathroom. He was upset, he tried to play it off as anger in the beginning but now that it was just us, he'd given up the facade. I stripped him down to his boxers, unfortunately for me, and put him in the shower recess. I sat on the floor with him, a plastic cup that I continually gave him to drink from while water trickled from the shower head.

"How you feeling buddy," I asked after he'd gotten down three or four cups of water.

"Like shit," he said, shifting his weight and rolling his head side to side.

"You'll be okay mate. I'm here to help you," I said sighing.

"You can't help me James, I'm un-helpable, I am helpless, un able to be helped." he said as if he were a bloody poet.

"You're just a bit ill Pads," I said taking my shoes off. It sounded like everyone had left, or at least most people.

"No I'm not just ill James. I- I- I keep doing stupid things and an hurting people. Look what I've done to you and Lily tonight, embarrassed you, ruined your night. I hate myself," he kept building on his hatred and I could see him regretting lots of his choices, not only from tonight.

"Sirius, don't sa-"

"Everyone hates me James, my whole family hates me- Regulus hates me... Marlene hates me James," he closed his eyes and threw his head back. I could see on his face how hurt he was.

"She doesn't hate you mate. I don't hate you, you're my brother. You, me, Remus, Pete. We're your family, alright?" I said as Sirius nodded slightly. I knew it wasn't enough though. Nothing would fill the void of his flesh and blood that had cast him out of the family.

There was a knock at the door, I thought it would be Remus so I told them to come in. But it wasn't, it was Lily. She was holding a bath-robe and a fresh towel. I smiled at her and gestured for her to come in.

"Thought you were Remus," I laughed a bit. She looked at me with a sad smile, and knelt down next to Sirius and I.

"How you feeling Sirius?" she asked, pouting a little bit as he looked up at her. He did not look well at all.

"Lily- I'm sorry, I jus-"

"Shh- Sirius, don't. You don't have to say anything. I know you're sorry. I know you're hurting. It's okay, James and I are going to help you." she said, combing the shaggy wet hair from his face with her fingers.

"I don't deserve your help. Either of you. I- I-" he searched for something to say, to apologise again, but he just couldn't decide on what he wanted to say.

"Come on buddy. Lets get you up, dry and into bed. You can sleep in my special head boy room tonight, how about that?" I asked, trying to make him feel better.

"That sounds nice," he said, and I knew he appreciated it. He didn't need to tell me.

"You can stay in my room tonight then," Lily said to me, as she wrapped the towel around Sirius, to dry him off.

"Me? I think she means me Prongs. No one would pick to sleep with you over meee," he said trying to make us think that 'joker' Sirius was back, but it was a lame attempt. I laughed for his sake anyway.

"That's true on most occasions Pads, you're right. You just happen to be very drunk, so I think you're out of luck with Lily tonight," I laughed again, as we started to walk out of the bathroom.

I managed to get Sirius into the bath-robe and up to my room without him vomiting. Plenty of water next to his bed, and aspirin for him for when he wakes up with a killer headache. He flopped onto the bed and i pulled the covers over him. I showed him where the bucket was, and that I'd be very annoyed if he threw up anywhere else but in there.

"Okay Jamesy, I promise I wont make a mess," he said, unnecessarily touching my face.

"Good night buddy, get some sleep," I said getting up and walking over to the door.

"Love you James," he said, his eyes closed, mouth wide open, almost completely asleep already.

"I love you too mate," I chuckled, turning off the light and closing the door.

Lily was sitting in bed, reading a book when I came in, "is he alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, he's all set with everything. I think he'll be alright in the morning," I said, taking off my button down and pants, throwing on the sweater I leant Lily the other night.

Lily pulled back the covers for me and smiled,"Get in here."

"As you wish," I laughed, shimmying into the covers. Lily put her book down on the bed side table and came over for a hug.

As she lay next to me, her head in the nook between my arm and my chest, an arm draped over me we both just 'were' for a moment. I was thinking about my parents, and the letter. She probably was too. They hadn't responded as of yet, and I doubt they would send an owl at this time of night. Who knows if they even will respond. Maybe that'll be it, maybe I'll never see them again.

"James..." Lily said, rubbing my chest lightly.

"Yeah love?" I asked.

"Are we sure we're doing the right thing. Don't get me wrong, I think we, are on my part at least. Whatever the consequences are for me, I am willing to deal with but..." she trailed off for a moment. "What about your family? I don't want you to not be with them. To hardly see your mother, your home..."

I thought about it for a moment. Yeah, it would be sad. It would be really hard. But in the end, it's not my fault that my parents didn't accept us. It was theirs.

"They're choosing this Lily, not me. And if it was me making the decision, I'd choose you without a second thought anyway." I said kissing her forehead.

"James, that's sweet but I-" I cut her off.

"I don't think you really know how much I love you Lily. I don't remember a time where I wasn't in love with you. I know that sounds silly, but for me... This has been a long time coming. My feelings for you only get stronger, the more time I spend with you." I said, trying not to think of how sappy I was being.

"I wish I'd given you a chance sooner. I was horrible to you sometimes," she half laughed.

"I think it was perfect they way it all went. I loved you 'hating' me." I said, knowing she never really did. "It only made me want you more if I'm honest," I laughed.

"Oh I know it did. You were so bloody annoying," she hit me softly, and we both laughed.

"On a lighter subject, are you coming to watch our game tomorrow?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation positive.

"Of course? Against Slytherin, I wouldn't miss it?" Lily said, frowning as if there was any other answer except yes.

"Good, good. I'll have to do a victory lap and steal a kiss when we win," I grinned. Lily shook her head giggling.

She kissed me softly, "you, James Potter, are such a show off," she said, mockingly.

Wow, I have missed this story. I've never been more excited and more careful in writing a chapter. Let me know what you think. I hope I get to write another , I've got a few things planned.

-Kels xo