Disclaimer: I don't own Glee!

Previously on WWG?

"Nick are you crying?" Thad asked, repressing a grin.

"No!"

"Come on," Jeff motioned everyone in. "Group hug it out."

Cameron was the only one not to immediately join in. "Is it just me, or does this group have more 'bro hugs' than most? This is, what? The third one today?"

"Shut up and get over here." David rolled his eyes.

Cameron lifted his hands in surrender. "So long as Nick doesn't try feel me up."

Said brunette flipped him off.

"Aren't we such a loving family." Blaine quipped.

* W * W * G *

The 'Bro-Hug' eventually broke apart when Richard - in the very center of the pack - said, "I have a feeling something bad's gonna happen." The other Warblers couldn't get away fast enough. David and Cameron, who were on the outside, stumbled away, and ended up falling back on David's bed, clutching each other. Blaine got pushed down on the floor by Wes, Trent, and Nicholi, and crab-crawled away. Nick had pulled Jeff back by the waist, and they ended up in a heap on the floor.

Richard laughed at them. "I was only joking. I was having a tough time breathing in there."

The Warblers glared at him. Cameron and David awkwardly untangled their limbs, avoiding eye contact as they took their seats. Blaine removed the shoe that found its way up his ass, then dusted himself off, smiling when Wes reprimanded Richard.

"That's like yelling fire in a crowded theatre, It's illegal! Public endangerment!"

Across the room Nick groaned loudly, "Ow." Jeff was still wedged on top of him.

Everyone turned toward the duo, many smirking when they noted their position.

"If you wanna be alone, we can leave." Cameron deadpanned.

Nick went red. Jeff carefully extracted himself, then held out a hand to help Nick up. While the others were busy continuing their scolding Richard, Blaine managed to secure a spot on the bed for the first time. This was a very good thing, considering his back-end was still stinging from the shoe that tried to impregnate him earlier.

Nicholi's hand shot up. "Can I use the restroom?'

Wes raised an eyebrow and looked him blankly. "Sure?"

Nicholi bolted from the room.

Everyone else returned to their previous spots and got comfortable for the next episode.

Nick and Jeff were the last ones to do so, a little unsure of their new dynamic. Blaine watched them, both curious and amused. Nick fidgeted a bit, before finally sitting ramrod straight with his legs criss-crossed. Jeff, who didn't have the same problem with PDA, was completely comfortable with their relationship. The thing he was unsure of was how rigid Nick suddenly was, when they hung out the past week he had been much more relaxed.

Nicholi returned, turning the light off when he passed the switch. The television currently showed the green warning screen typical of most DVDs; It was seemingly the only thing about the Glee DVDs that was normal. Before the first episode and then this one were the only times it appeared. The boys ignored it in favor of chattering excitedly to one another.

Jeff bit his lip. The blonde's hand heedfully inched toward Nick's, then stopped millimeters away. Jeff had meant to intertwine their fingers like they normally did when they watched movies alone, but his newfound insecurities based on his boyfriend's demeanor stayed his hand. His usually chipper bearing deflated, and he let out an inaudible sigh.

In the semi-darkenss Blaine saw the interaction and had to keep himself from scoffing aloud. His friends were being ridiculous. He glanced around him, where many of the guys were talking and guessing upcoming events, considering helping Jeff out. He would have, but judging by the looks he was getting from Ethan - who he'd taken a bed spot from - he wouldn't be getting his spot back if he moved. Eventually his selflessness won over. He sent Ethan a reproachful look, then slid off the bed. The second he stood up, just as he'd predicted, Ethan rocketed off the floor and stole the spot back. Blaine sat down on the carpet, making sure to knock into Nick as he did so. He scooted so close to his roommate, that if Nick didn't want a lap full of Blaine he had to sit closer to Jeff. After moving over Nick was now pressed into Jeff's side, and on the move over his hand had found its way on top of Jeff's. This was all the confirmation Jeff needed to pluck up the courage to intertwine their fingers together.

The title flashed across the screen: Rhodes Not Taken

"Interesting way to spell roads."

SCENE 1 : Repetition Hall's - Will and the Cast

Ringtone - Will hanging a poster to recruit in the Glee Club.

Finn and Quinn followed in chorus by the Cast- Song : Don't Stop Believing

"Quinn's a... hem... " Wes struggled for the right word. "Lovely girl, but - "

Nicholi clapped his hands over his ears, wailing, "Oh God! My ears!"

"They need Rachel back, pronto."

In the repetition hall's, Will rehearsed the cast with couple lighthouse Quinn and Finn. Suddenly, Quinn gets nauseous.

Will : Quinn, you OK?

Quinn runs out.

Finn : I think she just had a bad breakfast burrito.

Kurt : Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?

"Can we please talk about that bow tie?" Blaine said without missing a beat. "That shirt would look better with a one with polka dots."

"I don't know 'cause I'm not that gay to be talking about patterns. So..."

David interrupted, "Really Blaine? With a striped shirt?"

Blaine shrugged his shoulders and held his hands out defensively. "What?" His eyebrows shot up.

Santana : Your sexuality?

Kurt : Rachel. We can't do it without her.

"Preach!"

Will : That's not true. We may have to layer Santana Mercedes over Quinn's solo, but...we'll be fine.

"Or you could let Artie solo over with his epic guitar skills." Jeff suggested.

"Reeeeaally loudly." Added Nicholi.

Artie : Maybe for the invitationals, but not for the sectionals and certainly not the regionals.

"'The sectionals'." Ethan mimicked. "Artie sounds like an old person talking about the Facebook or the YouTube."

Puck : The wheelchair kid's right. That Rachel chick wants me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing.

"I think that pretty much sums her up in a nutshell."

Will : Rachel left, guys. She's gone.

"They make it sound like she died."

"She's dead to us." Said Jeff grimly.

Will: If we want to make this thing work, we can't look back. Alright, take five minutes.

Will goes to the piano while the Glee Club gathers. Finn, he goes to Will.

Finn : Mr Shue? I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but with all the dancing around that Quinn's doing, I'm kind of worried about the baby.

Will : Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Um... how about I give Tina a few of her verses, okay?

David rolled his eyes. "Why don't they just play it on kazoos? Jesus."

Finn : Okay.

Will : You think you might want to tell your mom about what's going on?

"Wouldn't any smart teacher tell his student's mother."

"That would be a douchebag move."

"Might as well reserve his title, you know, keep up his reputation."

Finn : I think I'd rather handle it myself right now. My mom's got enough to worry about.

Will is helpless in the situation.

RESTARAUNT-

Will and Terri moved to a table, while Terri swallows tons of cakes.

"So she's basically using her fake pregnancy to keep her man and be a fatty."

"Hey there's nothing wrong with that!" Jeff protested.

"Excuse me?" Thad said, taken aback.

"Let me rephrase: there's nothing wrong with saying suck it to portion control!"

"Sure, I've got one whole example, America." Cameron said, making a ridiculous face and rainbow hands on the word 'America'.

"Exactly, 'Merica!" Jeff promptly shoved a buttery handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"I so cannot wait until your metabolism dies."

"My what?" Jeff asked around a mouthful of pure grease.

"If you think I'm going to kiss you, you're sorely mistaken." Nick muttered.

Jeff grinned - yes, mouth still full - and leaned over making kissey faces at him.

Will : How come you haven't had any morning sickness? Quinn Fabray has been upchucking every 15 minutes.

Terri : Really? That's a really good sign. That means the baby's not a Mongoloid.

Will : Well, is it bad that you haven't been sick then?

"Dig yourself out of that hole!"

Terri : Oh, no, honey, no, no. You should ask Howard Bamboo about my Linda Blair impersonations every half hour at work.

"She lies!"

Terri smiled at Will worried.

Will : I don't know what I'm gonna do about this whole Rachel thing.

Server approach.

Server : Hey. Would you like anything else?

Terri : Another piece of grasshopper pie.

"That sounds gross and delicious at the same time.

Server : What, are you going for the record?

"Love how Mr. Shue doesn't defend his wife."

Terri : I'm with child.

The server notes the command embarrassed.

Will : Hey, did you go to McKinley High? I think I had you in my Spanish class.

"Aaand he's more interested in a guy he may have taught."

Server : Yeah, like, five years ago. I go to Carmel now.

Will : How is that possible? You must be twenty-two.

Server : (Laughs) ... Twenty-four. I'm a sixth-year senior. They keep failing me so I can stay in Vocal Adrenaline.

"Vocal Adrenaline students have jobs?" Wondered Thad. "I thought the director had them work in sweatshops backstage to make their own costumes."

"I heard they chained them to the seats in the auditorium after practice." Flint said, quite pleasantly for the subject matter.

Will : They fail you on purpose?

Server : Yeah.

Will : Is that legal?

Server : I'm the only one who can do the triple flip.

"I can't believe he just told him all of that! It's amazing the authorities haven't found out with him blabbing."

"He is a sixth year senior. I don't think intelligence is a defining quality of his."

Terri : Yeah. Hey, how about that other piece of pie?

Server : How about it.

"He was nice."

The server leaves and Will is shocked. Then, Will takes a bite of pie. Terri is thoughtful.

Terri : Honey, are you all right?

Will : ... Yeah. Fine.

Will smiles.

"I don't like the look on Shue's face."

"I really hope he's not planning on doing that to the New Directions." Blaine cringed, just thinking about it.

EMMA'S OFFICE-

Finn sat facing Emma tense.

Finn : So... have I done something wrong... or...?

Emma : Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not. No, um, actually, I've just, um, taken a special interest in you. Look, I know sometimes that life can come at you pretty fast, and, uh, you reach a point where you might just need a little, um, special guidance.

Finn : Has someone told you something about my personal life?

Emma : No. Mm-mm.

Flash Back

Moments earlier, Will in the office talking to Emma.

Will : Can you keep a secret?

"Creeeepy."

Back to reality

Emma : But, you know, there are very few students that ever get athletic scholarships. Okay? But there are a lot of schools that give full rides to students who excel in music. Students like yourself. And I don't know, maybe if you were able to go to college, you wouldn't, say, end up stuck in this town in a dead-end job living hand- to-mouth with a wife and a kid you never intended to have, you know? For example. That's just something off the top of my head.

Finn : So you think if I stuck with Glee that I could get a scholarship?

"That's what I'm counting on."

Emma : It's definitely a possibility. You know? And if you did well at regionals, maybe you could, um, generate some interest.

Finn : But we lost Rachel. Do you think we can do it without her?

Emma : Sure.

Flash Back

Moments before, Emma and Will talking in the corridors.

Will : Do you think we can win regionals without Rachel?

Emma : Well, remember the Jamaican bobsled team? Big long shots.

Emma walks away.

"Didn't they make a movie about them?" Asked Flint.

"Yeah." Answered David.

Jeff threw both of his hands in the air, yelling excitedly, "Can that be our Friday night movie?"

Wes tilted his head thoughtfully. Now that they had found Glee it was unlikely that they would be watching anything else for a good long while, at least until they had finished all three seasons.

"If Glee doesn't replace movies." He answered.

The others seemed satisfied with this verdict.

Back to reality

Emma smiling face Finn worried.

Emma : ... Definitely. But if you're concerned about your future and, um, those who may be a part of your future soon, um, maybe you could just give Rachel a talk. You know, see if you can get her to come back.

Finn nodding while the school bell rang.

CLASSROOM-

Rachel interview by Jacob for the Gazette's high school at the microphone.

Jacob : How does it feel to be just a sophomore and get the lead in the school musical?

Rachel : It's an honor. Frankly, one I feel I've earned. If there's anything I've learned in my 16 years on the stage, it's that stars are rare, and when they're found, you have to let them shine.

Jacob stop recording.

Jacob : ... Mm. Show me your bra.

Rachel : You mean the one I'm wearing?

"Whoa! That escalated quickly."

Jacob : Quid pro quo, Rachel. If you want a good review, show me your over the shoulder boulder holder.

Rachel : No way. You can't do that. My performance will stand on its own. Besides, no one reads the school paper, anyway.

Jacob : Oh, but I'll post my scathing review online. You'll be finished on the high school stage. Now, get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage.

"Uuugh what a fucking creep!"

The boys stared at him, shocked at both the exclamation and the foul language.

"I'm a dude and that's just - no."

Rachel rising annoyed.

Jacob : Mm...

At this time, Sandy enters the room running.

Sandy : Sorry I'm late. My Vespa had a flat.(Jacob gets up quickly and arranges his affairs.)Give me a minute and I will be ready for my interview.

Jacob begins quickly packing.

"Yeah, you run little pervy creep!"

Jacob : We're actually not gonna need any quotes from you for the article, Mr Ryerson. Do the right thing. All the great actresses take their clothes off.

"I wonder if that's foreshadowing anything." Nicholi said quietly.

"You would."

Sandy : Well, I have no problem with nudity. Let me tell you about my planned production of Equius. Have you ever hung out at a stable?

The boys shuddered.

Sandy was driving Jacob out, as Rachel sits down. Finn enters the room and sees Rachel.

Finn : Hey, what are you doing?

"Oh my God! That is priceless!"

"Finn walks in at the best times."

Rachel : Nothing. Uh, just... getting the star treatment I didn't get in Glee.

Finn : Totally.

Rachel : It's times like this where I know I've chosen the right path. I'm never going back to Glee. It's clear my talent is too big for an ensemble.

Finn approaches her.

Finn : Not gonna get an argument from me.

Rachel : I'm not?

Finn : No. You're, like, the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chain saws.

"No one is more talented than that guy." Blaine said.

"No one." Reiterated a few others.

I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to run lines with, I'm available.

Rachel : Th ...There is a lot of dialogue.

Finn : I figured... we could go somewhere quiet, maybe with low lighting and... Let me know.

"How very subtle."

Finn goes off leaving Rachel with a smile.

"Oooo Finn the master manipulator."

"Really though, Finn trying to be manipulative is just wrong."

SCENE 5 : Will office's - Will and Emma

Emma sits opposite to Will with a folder in his hand.

Emma : I could get fired for this.

Will : She was a student 15 years ago. No one is gonna care.

"Pretty sure that doesn't make it legal."

Emma : Okay.

Emma, hesitant, reluctantly gives the folder. Then, Will, impatient, browses the folder with a smile.

Will : I...I knew it. She never graduated. She...she quit with, like, three credits to go.

Emma : Will. Yeah, I, um, I saw her picture in the folder. Pretty.

Will : Pretty? Mm. April Rhodes was a goddess. The most talented performer in McKinley Glee Club history. When she sang, it was mesmerizing. She was my first crush. I was a freshman,...

Emma : Wait...

Will : ... she was a senior.

Emma : Wait, hold on, 'cause I thought you said your wife was your first crush.

Will : Well, yeah, that's because April didn't even look at me. Aw, crap, there's no forwarding address.

Emma : S...So then you've...you've had feelings for someone other than your wife.

Will : Emma, I'd love to play This Is Your Life, but... (Typing on his computer.) Lord Google demands my attention.

"He's either really oblivious or a huge douchebag."

"Even if he's oblivious he's still being a jerk."

Emma rising.

Emma : Okay, just wait...wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Um, reaching back into your past is a dangerous business, okay? People can change. They can, um, disappoint you...

Will : I think I can handle it.

Emma : I thought I could, too. Just hear me out, hear me out. A few years ago, I started an online flirtation with a high school flame Andy. Things got weird, and I called it off. And two months later... ...Versace was dead. Dead.

"Did she say Versace?" Asked Blaine, not understanding the relationship between the two things.

"I am so confused."

Will returning to his computer.

Will : Okay... April Rhodes... Ohio. Oh! She has a MySpace page.

Emma : Oh, God.

Emma placing behind Will.

Will : Oh, and here's a link to her own personal Web site. She's online.

"Who isn't?" Snorted Ethan.

"Hi, April."Not sure if you remember me, but my name is Will Schuester."

"That music in the background makes me wonder..."

Emma (reads) : 35 Bontempo Road, between 2:00 and 3:00.

Will : Oh! Oh!

Emma : Bring buffalo wings.

"I bet she's like really fat."

'APRIL'S HOUSE'-

Will is outside her home. Then he goes to his door and rings. The door opens revealing April.

Most of the guys' mouths dropped open.

"Oh holly mother!"

"Close your mouth."

Will : April.

April : Hello. Are you Will?

Will : Y...You remember me?

April : Mm. No, but I don't remember breakfast.

Will and April, drunk, laughing.

April : Come on in.

Will enters a huge house.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

"Straight to the point."

Will : Uh, I was a freshman when you were a senior.

April : So, did I sleep with you?

Will : No.

April : Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine.

Will, surprised, follows her.

Will : This is a-a great place you have. Uh, looks like you're doing well for yourself.

April : I get about five or six appointments on a good day from my World Wide Web page, so I do okay for myself.

"So she's a prostitute?" Blaine wondered.

April, returning with two glasses of wine and a smile.

April : Why don't you have a seat, take off that jacket, and I'm gonna slip into something a little more com-for-tablé.

"Someone's drunk."

"Just now figure that out?"

Three people enter the house this moment.

Will : Mm! ...

Agente : So, this is a beautiful five-bedroom

The agent and the couple were surprised to find people in the house.

Agente : ...with wood-burning fireplace and... You. This is the third time this week.

Will : Who are you?

Agente : I'm Sandra with Oakcrest Realty. And she is a squatter. This is a bank- owned property. The owners foreclosed six months ago.

"That house isn't getting sold."

April : Let me just get my vino, and I'll be out of your hair. Hold that.

Will : Okay.

April went away.

Will : (Smiling) ... Just... Nice place.

"Awkward."

Moments later, Will and April out on the sidewalk. While that April is used again to drink.

Will : Can I ask you a question?

April : Yeah.

Will : What happened to you, April? In high school, you were really going places. You had a voice like a dream; everyone loved you.

April : Oh. Oh, I hitched my star to the wrong wagon. Me and my high school sweetheart Vinny were convinced we were going to be stars, so we dropped out of school and hitchhiked our way to the Broadway.

"Isn't that what happened to Madonna?"

"Madonna did it better."

Will laughs.

April : Then we ended up in Cleveland slinging hash at Ralph's Bait Shop and Waffle House. Then Ralph had an affair with Vinny. I had a set of mixed-race twins. And those were the good times. ... (Chuckles)... (Sighs)...

Will : April... I think your struggle is really moving. And I want to help you get back on your feet. I happen to know that you're only three credits shy of your diploma. I can put you in my Spanish class. And... I know you're an amazing singer. I want you to be in the glee club.

"Ah, there's the catch."

We'll get you sobered up... find you some underwear. It's not too late for you, April. What do you say?

"How does he know she's not wearing underwear?"

April, happy, dumps her drink.

"I doubt she'll stay sober."

CHOIR ROOM-

Will facing the Glee Club with her friend, April.

Will : Guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes. She's our newest member.

April is very enthusiastic.

Finn : Wait, so old people can join Glee Club now?

April : Old, huh? You guys look like the world's worst Benetton ad.

Will : Mm. Mm...

Artie : (Raising hand) Mr Schuester, this seems like a terrible idea.

"They should just let Artie direct the club." Jeff said seriously. Nicholi nodded.

Will : April is a great singer. And she never graduated.

Mercedes : We appreciate what you're trying to do, but she's no Rachel.

April : Who's Rachel?

Tina : Sh...She's kind of our star.

April : Your star, eh? Well, where is she?

Kurt : She left. to be the lead in Cabaret.

April : Hey, Tinkles, give me "Maybe This Time" in B flat. And don't let me catch you snoozing.

"Poor piano man."

Blaine unconsciously began quietly humming the Billy Joel song.

April and Rachel - Song : Maybe This Time

"That last note was painful." Thad said, when the song ended, his face screwed up.

April, pointing to what she can do Cast. While Rachel, meanwhile, repeated his musical. At the end of the song, while the Glee Club was so impressed that Kurt was in tears.

Throughout the entire performance David and Flint had their eyes averted south of April's face. Blaine noticed and stretched up, waving his hands in front of Flint's face. Wes didn't even look away from the screen, he simply reached over, and closed David's agape mouth.

April : Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

"I liked Rachel's better. It was much," Wes struggled for the right word. "Cleaner."

"She was also sober." Blaine pointed out.

"As far as we know."

"Shut up Jeff."

SCENE 8 : Classroom - Will and April

Will, in full Spanish course, questioning students on the court.

Will : So, if I were to say, "I'm going to Mexico for the day," would I use "por" or "para"?

April raised her hand.

April : Mm...

Will : April.

April : Para?

Will : Por?

April : Oh. I guess I better por myself another Crantini.

The students are laughing face Will embarrassed and worried that April then smiled and drank his glass.

April : I'm just kidding. It's hot chocolate.

"Sure."

Ring.

Will : All right, remember, guys, oral reports Wednesday. April, can I talk to you for a second?

"Oooooooooo!" Nicholi rang out.

Students leaving out Will and April alone.

April : I'm sorry, Will. The old noodle just ain't what she used to be. I huffed a lot of upholstery cleaner in the '90s

"What would possess a person...?"

Will : Look, April, I've been, uh, talking to the glee kids, and, um, I think they're still not so sure about having you around. You draw a lot of attention to yourself. And they're embarrassed enough as it is. So do you think you could maybe take some time and try to win them over?

April smiling.

"This won't turn out good."

CHOIR ROOM-

April drinking with Kurt.

"Hey look!" Thad exclaimed, pointing at the screen. "Kurt and Blaine dress alike!"

"It's because I'm gay isn't it." Blaine deadpanned.

The whole room stiffened, and Thad's eyes went wide."N-no."

It all became too much and Blaine's glare turned into a grin. Jeff and Nick cracked up at everyone's faces. They were all so afraid that Blaine was actually offended.

April : Yeah.

Kurt : Mm, smells like my Aunt Mildred.

"Does like, everyone, have an Aunt Mildred?"

Half of the room raised their hands.

April : Just drink it.

Kurt sips it.

Kurt : Sweet. With a bit of an afterburny taste.

April : Oh, good Chablis should always have a little bite. Now, a few swigs of that every day before school, and you'll have all the courage you need to be yourself.

April pinches his cheeks.

Kurt : Really?

"Really?" Jeff asked with Kurt.

"I will make you take breathalyzer test every morning if I have to."

April : Oh, yeah.

Kurt : That's fantastic.

April : Mm, so is my primo collection of vintage muscle magazines. Want them?

"Instant boner!" Richard said in his movie-narrator voice.

"Gross Dick." Cameron quipped.

April handing him the books he took with love.

SCENE 10 : Corridor - Kurt and Will

Ring - Kurt, with these magazines, speaks with Will.

Kurt : Mr Schuester, I changed my mind. April should stay. I worship her.

"I guess all you need is a little softcore porn and a little booze in Kurt's system, and he'llworship you." Cameron said salaciously. "Know what I mean Blaine?"

"Just no."

Kurt goes leaving Will, aghast.

CHOIR ROOM-

April showing the girls how to put objects hidden between their legs. But things fall.

"Um, what the hell?"

April : Oh, no, you got to be more natural.

Tina : I c...can't do this.

Mercedes : I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place.

April : Your lack of imagination astounds me. This is only the beginning. If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees.

"Oh God."

April, mini-skirt, slips a cabbage between those thighs and walk.

April : Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party. With the candles still lit.

"I wonder if that -" Nicholi began.

"Unless you've got a kilt or a really long trench coat hidden in your closet, I wouldn't even think about it." Wes answered instantly.

WILL'S OFFICE-

Will, anxious face to Tina and Mercedes restyled.

Will : Are you sure?

Mercedes : She can stay.

Tina : T...t...Totally.

LOCKER ROOM-

April, the boys in the locker room, taking a shower with Puck. Moments later, in the corridors, she jokes with the whole football team with Puck.

April : Ah! Ah! Ah! ... Don't tickle me.

"That is so illegal on so many levels."

Will, she passes, is stunned by this change in behavior of Glee Club.

"Mr. Shue that's so not apropos."

SCENE 14 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel

Rachel singing a song to Sandy dissatisfied.

Sandy : This is terrible... This is a disaster... I'm gonna barf. ...Boring!... No, no, no, no, no!

Rachel stops singing.

Rachel : I don't know what you want.

Jeff sighed and shook his head. "He wants the 'D'."

Sandy : Well, I know what I don't want. And it is all of this.

"You don't have a -"

"JEFF!"

Sandy : When I gave you this part, I thought you could handle it, but clearly you can't. What this show needs is a star with a little bit more maturity.

Rachel : I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to quit, so you can be the star.

"I don't think a middle-aged man can be the lead in a high school production of Cabaret."

Rachel : Well, it won't work. I'm not going anywhere.

Rachel leaves. Sandy is stunned.

"But she just left..."

"I think she meant in more of a proverbial sense." Wes explained.

Sandy : ... I'll say.

CHOIR ROOM-

Finn and Rachel repeating the musical by Rachel.

"Is that a reindeer sweater? I want one." Nicholi said, wide-eyed.

"If you get one like that, I can't permit you to be associated with Dalton or the Warblers." Wes said seriously.

"At least go with one a little more tasteful." Blaine added.

Rachel : I'm sleeping with him.

Finn : So am I... (Surprised, he drops the text.) This play's weird.

Rachel : That's Mr. Ryerson's favorite line.

"I'm sure it is."

Rachel : You're a really good actor, Finn. Maybe you should consider joining the musical.

Finn : I'm pretty devoted to Glee. I don't think I could just walk away from it. I know how hard it was for you. But I could justify doing both if you came back. But we both know that's not gonna happen.

Finn approaching her.

Finn : ... Do you know what we should do?

Rachel : Elope?

Finn : What?

"What?"

Rachel : Nothing.

Finn : We should go bowling.

"Again, what?"

"Bowling fixes everything, duh."

Trent piped up, "Yeah remember when Wes and David were fighting before Christmas and they duked it out at Benny's Bowling Alley and ice rink?"

David tilted his head thoughtfully. "I don't remember that."

"It was when you broke -" A look of sudden realization crossed David's face, it quickly turned to panic. He lunged at Trent. He ended up not jumping far enough and as a result was only able to grab Trent's arm. Trent shook him off easily, not catching the 'stop talking' looks everyone was sending him. "When you broke Wes' gavel and you tried to hide it, but he found out."

"You broke my gavel?" Wes' face was unreadable, his lips set in a thin line.

David turned on Trent. "That was our annual pre-Christmas bowling tournament, you dumb motherfu - We weren't fighting, we were competitors! I replaced it before he noticed!"

"How did this happen?"

David gulped. "I was - I took it out of the room and I was playing with it. I was really careful, I swear! But then when I banged it down on the table... It... Broke..." He finished in a small voice. He shrunk away, readying his arms to shield his face if need be.

Wes suddenly started laughing. The boys who were hoping to see a fight visibly deflated.

"I'm only messing with you, David. That was only a replica. What would I be doing with the true Warblers gavel?" He asked rhetorically.

David's face went livid. "I bought you a two hundred-dollar gavel to replace the one that I didn't break?" He thundered.

The boys sat back up in anticipation.

"No you did break it, it just wasn't the expensive one." Wes said, casually picking at his thumbnail.

The guys nearest David had to physically restrain him. Wes wasn't phased in the least by his friends' behavior, he simply sat back and pressed play.

Blaine wondered how a gavel could possibly cost two hundred dollars. Was it made of gold?

Finn : You're always so stressed out about the play. You just need to loosen up...(Trying his hand at her side at the piano.). I always go bowling whenever I'm worked up about a big game or something.

"Is, um, bowling an innuendo for something?" Asked Trent.

"It really might be."

Jeff turned to Nick and walked his fingers up his arm. "What do you say we get out of here, and go bowling?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hey Niff!" Cameron shouted. "What's the difference between Nick and a bowling ball?"

Jeff scratched his head thoughtfully, Nick however, went wide-eyed.

"You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball!"

The other boys - excluding Blaine, who rolled his eyes - howled with laughter. Nick hid his head in Jeff's shoulder. Jeff glared at the others, but it didn't have much impact as he was also trying to stifle a grin. He made shooing gestures to the other boys, then put his arms around Nick, kissing the top of his head and whispering something to him.

Rachel : Just us?

Finn : Yeah.

Rachel : Yeah, that...that...that would be great. I...I am really stressed out. But that's the price you pay for being a star.

Suddenly, April and Will enter.

April : Don't I know it.

Will : Hey, Rachel. April Rhodes, Rachel Berry. Hey, can you give us the room, Rachel? We need to teach April the cues for "Don't Stop Believing."

"April's voice just wouldn't fit."

"Agreed. Only Rachel should sing Journey."

"Her voice is just enough that it sounds good singing rock. April's voice is too Broadway classical, and smooth."

Finn : Wait, she's singing the female lead?

Rachel : Wait, she's in the glee club? She's... ancient.

April : Talent doesn't age, sweetheart.

Finn : That's Rachel's part, Mr Shue.

Will : Well, Rachel's not in the glee club anymore.

Rachel : Thanks, Finn.

Rachel leaves.

Will : Rachel... We're all really excited to see the play. Make sure you save us a seat in the front row.

"Mr. Shue's kind of a douche."

April moved while Rachel goes away, annoyed.

April : Me, me, me, me, me, me, me

Finn : You...you...you...you...you...

"Hmm. I never realized how deep Finn's voice was." Wes said, thoughtfully.

Rachel looking through the glass unhappy.

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Ring - Kurt, drunk, arrives at his locker.

Blaine slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes bugging out. All around the room there were shocked exclamations.

"Damn!" David said, slack-jawed.

"Holy hell!"

Nick blinked. "Kurt looks like a zombie."

"I think it's safe to say someone has a hangover."

Nicholi, on the other hand, was paying attention elsewhere. "Hey look! He's wearing a Dalton tie!"

Blaine squinted at the screen. "No, it has purple stripes on it."

Nicholi visibly deflated.

"Yah know, for being totally smashed, he did a pretty good job dressing himself." Blaine offered.

"I think that's the most dressed down we've ever seen him."

Emma passes, smiling at him. Then Emma perceives and feels the smell of alcohol. She approaches him.

"I love how she couldn't tell he was drunk just looking at him, she had to smell him."

Emma : Kurt? Hi.

Kurt's face turns pale and wan.

Emma : Kurt. I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.

Kurt stares at her.

Kurt : Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.

Blaine's lips tugged at the corners, his eyebrows raised into a sad, puppy expression. How adorable was a drunken Kurt?

"That was said with such conviction."

The boys burst into laughter.

Kurt stares at her.

"Oh no..." Blaine trailed off, knowing the outcome before it happened.

Kurt vomiting on the shoes of Emma.

Emma : Oh! ...

"Oooooh!" The boys chorused.

"I'll bet Miss Pillsbury loved that." Trent winced.

TEACHER'S LOUNGE-

Emma, walks petrified into the room and joins Will.

Will : Hey, Em. Just trying to figure out the set list for Saturday.

Emma : I just got back from the emergency room. Had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that "the full Silkwood."

Will : What happened?

Emma : Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake ID, because he looks like an 11-year-old milkmaid

"Aww that's mean. I think he could pass for eighteen."

Will, I think it was April. Her backpack's always clinking with empties.

Will : I'm so sorry. I...I will, I'll talk to him.

"I don't think Kurt's the one who needs to be talked to."

Emma : Okay.

Will : Mm... (Sighing)

Emma sat down.

Emma : I'm, um, I'm a little bit worried about the glee club.

Will : So am I. I mean... (sighs) if we don't place at regionals, it...it's all over.

"They could always get together outside of school."

"It wouldn't be the same."

"It wouldn't be fair either."

Emma : We have obligations as teachers, Will, to give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment. With April in Glee, you're taking away a kid's chance to grow, and you're giving it to someone whose brain is soaked in corn booze.

Will : April's not finished, Emma. And if Glee's gonna win, I need to give her a second chance. She is a talented performer and I really think that the kids are going to learn a lot of valuable technique from her.

Emma : Okay. But I think you need to think about... why you're doing this and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it.

"I think that's her way of saying that if April doesn't leave they're done."

"Aw, that would be a travesty." Nick said sarcastically. "He'd be down one girlfriend."

Emma went away leaving Will to meditate on these words.

SCENE 18 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel

Sandy, angry typing stick to Rachel again.

"Why does he always look like a pillow mint?"

Sandy : (Screaming)... You...suck!

SCENE 19 : WC - Rachel and April

Rachel weeping face in the mirror when between April.

April : Oh... Rough day at the office, cookie?

"She may be a drunk, but hey she's nice."

Rachel : I've just got a lot on my plate. It's not easy being in the spotlight.

April : Mm...

Rachel : It's the difficult road I've chosen.

April : Yeah. I know that song, sister. Um, do you have any NyQuil? I could use a little pick-me-up.

Rachel, frightened, shaking his head.

April : No. These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be. That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots my eye on.

Flint looked puzzled. "I don't get it. What does Finn have that makes these chicks snap to him like glue?"

Jeff answered. "Well you know what they say about tall guys..."

"What Jeff? What do they say?" Wes sighed.

"They can change light bulbs and reach things on high shelves." He answered.

Wes was taken aback momentarily, then his lips twitched. "That's nice Jeff."

Rachel : Finn's taken, April.

April : Yeah, well, some guys like a little somethin'...somethin' on the side.

Rachel : I think your behavior is totally inappropriate and your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's.

"Even though she's totally saying that for the wrong reasons, at least someone finally said it."

April : I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here. And now that I've got that back... I'm never letting it go.

"This looks like the start of a really bad eighties Rom-Com."

"It looks like a Stephen King novel."

Blaine could see Nicholi's brain working from across room. He looked up at the ceiling and began an internal countdown.

Three...

Two...

One...

"I bet Terri and April Rhodes get together and kill Rachel!"

April goes off leaving Rachel alone.

SCENE 20 : Bowling - Rachel, Finn, Will and April

Rachel face the balls, hesitantly, speaks with Finn.

Rachel : Do I have to put my fingers in the holes?

Many of them snickered.

Rachel : Couldn't there be diseases in there or something?

Finn : Oh, no. Ball sharing's all part of the fun.

Finn taking a pink ball and handing him.

Finn : ... Here, use the pink one. Pink's your favorite color, right?

"That's not how bowling works!"

Cameron rolled his eyes. "Play it before David can start on a tangent."

Rachel, smiling, takes it.

Rachel : Now what?

"How has she never gone bowling before. It's like a child's passage of right."

Finn : Follow my lead.

Rachel and Finn settling face bowling. Finn behind her, placing his arms.

Finn : Okay, so... Just look at the pins. Nice and straight.

Rachel, helped by Finn, throwing the ball that lands in the reserve. Finn laughs.

"That was pathetic."

Finn : You sure this is your first time?

"And where is his pregnant girlfriend Quinn?"

Finn carting but she smiled. For their part, April plays and scores a strike against Will enthusiastic.

"Better question: If Shue is right there why doesn't he slap the crap out of Finn for being a dummy?"

Wes answered, "A, that would be illegal, and B, he's to busy emotionally cheating on hispregnant significant other."

Will : Oh, ho...ho! April!

April : Woo-hoo!

Will : You see what you can accomplis when you're sober?

April : Sober? I'm rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I can't feel my lips. (laughing) Oh, you know... I think I'm going to keep these shoes. ( Drinking)

Will more and more exasperated.

Will : April... I brought you here because I need to talk to you.

April : Okay.

Will : I'm concerned that you're a bad influence on the glee club.

"Really?" Trent said sarcastically.

Will : I can't have you around if you're going to continue to encourage them to make bad choices.

April, surprisingly, is silent for a moment.

April : ... Well, you're right, Will. As of right now, I'm back on the wagon.

April, giving him his glass.

Will : Really? That's great.

"I don't think Will understands how addiction works." Said Blaine.

Both laugh.

Will : I have to tell you something. I was in awe of you in high school. I mean, of all the roads I never traveled in my life, the one I regret the most was never... getting the chance to sing with you.

"'Never taking your Rhode.'" Said David. "You know he was going to say it."

April : Really?

Will : Yeah. I mean, that's how you get better, you know? Singing with people who are better than you.

April : You really thought that much of me?

Will : April ... You are the reason I joined Glee Club.

April : No...(Embarassed) ... So, your dream was always to sing with me, huh?

Will : Yeah.

"So basically Mr. Shue is emotionally cheating with three other women, one of which includes his pregnant wife."

"She's not really preggers."

"He doesn't know that."

"What's next? He's going to make out with the Vocal Adrenaline coach?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. She is pretty hot." Cameron said

"Really?"

"Yeah... you know she kind of looks like Rachel now that I think about it."

"Weird." Said Blaine.

April : Well, then, come on.

Will : What?

April : Come on!

April involving Will karaoke bowling. She handing him a microphone

Barry : Hey, April, karaoke's on Wednesdays...tonight's bingo.

April : Shut your gravy hole, Barry.

"Are we sure April's actually from Ohio? She sounds awfully Southern."

"I've noticed that too."

Will (into a microphone) : Hey, guys, uh, happy gambling. Here we go.

Will and April - Song : Alone

"Why don't they just make out, make it official?"

On stage at karaoke, Will and April singing a duet with an audience very satisfied and reluctant to as.

April : Thank you!

Will takes it in the arm with an audience who applauded warmly. While on their side, Rachel and Finn are at the table eating a pizza.

Rachel : This is really good pizza.

Finn : Mm... Yeah. I think they import the pepperoni from, like, Michigan or something.

"MICHIGAN!"

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I just really love Michigan."

"Why?"

"I don't really know."

Rachel : How's Glee?

Finn : Oh, well, everybody misses you.

"I think that's his backwards way of saying that he misses her."

Rachel : They miss my talent.

Finn : No, no. We're your friends. We just miss having you around.

"He seems genuine, but there's just no way he's telling the truth."

Rachel : I love Glee, I just... don't see the point in wasting my énergies on someplace that I'm not appreciated.

"I don't think Rachel knows how life works."

Finn : I appreciate you.

Finn rising sharply and handing him a ball.

Finn : It's your last ball.

"That was abrupt."

Rachel rising in turn to join him.

Finn : Just like the first time, but better.

Rachel, ready, kiss the ball and throws it.

"So she didn't want to put her fingers in the holes cause they have diseases, but she'll put her lips on it?" Blaine asked, confused.

She managed a strike.

"There's no way that just happened."

Rachel : Ah! ...

Rachel was ecstatic, jumping around in the arms of which Finn.

"I know I get excited about bowling, but what's with all of the hugging."

Suddenly, she kisses him.

"Is it suddenly okay to cheat on the woman you knocked up?"

"He didn't knock her up though."

"Once again: He. Doesn't. Know. That."

Finn : Come back to Glee.

Rachel : What about Quinn?

Finn : I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I just know that I want to spend more time with you now.

Rachel : I'll...I'll have to quit the play. I'll do it!

"I feel like boys are going to get her into some bad situations." Trent shook his head.

Finn, surprised, takes her in his arms.

CHOIR ROOM-

Everyone is congregated around the piano.

Tina : She is strange.

Kurt : Maybe Quinn is lactose intolerant.

"That's hardly gossip worthy material."

Artie : That doesn't explain all the crying.

Tina : Maybe she just doesn't like the group.

Puck, annoyed, listen away.

Puck : Are you all that stupid?

"And this is coming from Puck."

"I wonder if he's actually going to squeal on Quinn."

Puck : Seriously? I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates.

"I've always wondered if they were really gay lovers."

"Maybe it's like a subliminal message of acceptance."

"Conspiracies!"

Maybe Quinn's got one in the oven.

Everyone is shocked.

Mercedes : Who's the baby's daddy?

Puck : Who do you think? Finn.

"Okay I know the baby daddy isn't Finn, but shouldn't everyone have just assumed he was. They are dating. Not exactly a shocker."

"Just look at Finn! Does he look like he's capable of impregnating anyone, let alone seducing the president of the Celibacy Club?"

"Touché."

The Glee club are shocked, Kurt scoffs.

"Considering Kurt's supposedly in love with Finn he should not look that happy about this."

Rachel, happy at that moment between.

Rachel : Yes, you've heard right...I am returning to Glee Club. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice.

Mercedes ( Whispering) : This is a hot damn mess.

Santana ( Whispering) : Oh! My God!

Rachel : Uh, I'm sorry; I thought I'd be welcomed back with a tad more enthusiasm.

Kurt : Sorry, Glee Club has just been rocked with its first scandal.

"Glee club and scandal hardly belong in the same sentence."

Mercedes : Quinn's knocked up.

Kurt : And the baby daddy? Finn.

"Kurt, again with double patterns." Blaine groaned.

Everyone turned toward him.

"I only just realized." He said defensively.

"Blaine, I think you could take some fashion advice from Kurt."

Blaine looked affronted.

"Don't give me that look Anderson." Said David, warningly. "I've seen you wear a polka dot bow tie, burgundy pants, a diamond cardigan, and a striped blazer. That's four patterns. Not to mention the accessories."

"I'm not into fashion, and even I know that's ridiculous." Added Nicholi.

Blaine pouted.

Rachel, completely stunned, feels wrong.

EMMA'S OFFICE-

Finn, happy, hands over files to Emma.

Finn : I just wanted to drop off the application for that scholarship you were telling me about. I got Rachel to come back to Glee, so, I figure we have a real shot at it.

Emma : I'm so proud of you. See what you can accomplis when you set your mind to it?

"And another case of the ends justifying the means."

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Finn, happy, Rachel crosses, pissed.

Rachel : Finn.

Rachel slaps him.

"Ouch." They winced.

Rachel : You're a liar. Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?

Finn : Who told you?

Rachel : Everyone knows but me. I'm the only fool who went out with you and let you kiss me, thinking you actually had feelings for me.

"Actually you kissed him."

Finn : But I...I do. Look, yeah, I haven't been totally honest with you, but that's different than lying.

Rachel : Mm... (Sighing)

Finn : Well, maybe it's not that much different, but...

"Stop talking Finn."

Finn : but look, I need to get a music scholarship, so I can go to college, so I can get a good job, so I can take care of my kid and I can't do that if you don't come back to Glee Club. You should take it as a compliment.

Rachel : You could have just been honest with me.

Finn : ... Look, I know what I did was wrong. I get that, but... that kiss was real.

Rachel : Whatever it was, it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensemble, but my dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than you.

"I think that may be going a little far."

Rachel goes to find Sue. Sue is taking down a poster, then swiftly puts it back up when Rachel appears.

Oh my gosh. Blaine rolled his eyes at the coaches' antics.

Rachel : Miss Sylvester. We need to talk. If you'd like to to return to the musical, changes need to be made.

Sue : Well, Rachel, I couldn't agree with you more. You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious.

"What?"

Sue : I hereby grant you complete artistic control. Congratulations, kiddo.

Rachel smiled and Sue.

"That was much too easy."

Sue : ... You now have everything you could possibly want. Isn't it a great feeling?

Sue goes off leaving Rachel perplexed.

SCENE 24 : Repetition Hall's - Cast, Will, April and Emma

The cast repeating piano.

Cast : Mia... Mia...Mia ... Mia ... Mia...Mia...Mia... Mia... Mia...Mia...

Will interrupts.

Will : The house is packed... you guys are going to kick butt tonight. Your first performance in front of a real audience. I can't wait. You guys are going to love it.

The cast smiled at Will.

Will : Where...Where's April?

April arriving drunk.

April : Yee-haw! (laughing) Right on cue, as usual. Hey, roller-boy. Handsome. Oh, I like that color. Have you been working on the, uh, moves we talked... You've got something right there, on your...

April kisses Puck on the mouth. Will pulls her back.

"The sad part is that he doesn't even seem phased by her behavior."

April : Uh, oh... Honk! (grabbing Kurt's nose)

Blaine chuckled at Kurt's face.

April : There's my boy.

Will : Are you drunk?

"I think the better question is how drunk."

You promised me you'd sober up for this.

April : When? Last night? Well, I was drunk. You can't hold me to that.

Emma enter.

Emma : Hum! Hum! Will.

April : Hit it, knuckles. You... You...You...You...You...

Will and Emma out for a moment in the corridor to talk.

Emma : April Rhodes almost ran me over in the parking lot just now, Will. You can't let her go on in her condition.

Will : There is an auditorium full of people waiting to see us perform and if she doesn't go on, none of the kids can.

"Really? Because I see about twelve other capable singers in that choir room."

"Yeah, like Artie!"

Emma : Wow. It's really great how committed you are to these kids.

Emma goes against Will, exasperated.

AUDITORIUM-

Figgins front of the room talking.

Figgins (Micro) : Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome McKinley High School's New Directions.

The audience applauds the stage door.

April et le Cast - Song : Last Name

Despite the fact that April is drunk on stage, the cast performs a fine performance in front of a captivated audience.

"I wonder why they chose that song." Wes said.

Thad shrugged. "Maybe their paying homeage to Oklahoma."

Throughout the performance Blaine watched Kurt shuffling around, oddly turned on by the simple dance moves.

"While the singing and dancing was decent, that was a boring performance." Said Richard. "Definitely not deserving of a standing ovation that large."

"As opposed to Push It." Blaine chuckled.

"Of course."

MCKINLEY HALLWAY-

Will, waiting in front of the girls' bathroom, so that April stops vomiting. Moments later, April leaves the toilet but Will intercepts.

April : Mm... Mm...

Will : I need to talk to you.

April : Sorry. Baby had to tinkle. Come on. Act two.

Will : No, I can't let you go back out there. You broke a promise.

April : ... You're right. It's a great moment for me, but it didn't feel right. I don't belong up there. But everybody desserves their moment in the spotlight, you know, to shine? Oh, I got that standing ovation, Will. And it felt amazing. Like every bad decision I'd ever made just went away. I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids and I think... "I'm hogging their sunshine. It's their turn now, not yours."

Will nodded.

April : ... They're so Lucky to have you, Will, because you won't let what happened to me ever happen to any of them.

"That's actually really sad, and not just in the pathetic sense."

Will : So, where you gonna go?

April : Well, um... I'm going to straighten up. Maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved the Broadway.

Will : The Broadway.

Both laugh.

April : Do you think there's a part out there for a washed-up has-been like me?

Will : April, you are not washed-up. And hey, there's always Branson.

"Performing at theme parks is all time low."

Many of the others agreed. Blaine decided against mentioning the gig he landed at Six Flags this upcoming summer.

April : Will ... Will ... Will ...

April gives him a kiss on the cheek, happy when he takes her in his arms.

Will : Thank you.

April : Oh... (wry laugh) No, no, no. Thank you.

April away from him.

April : Branson, eh?

"Foreshadowing." Nicholi muttered.

Will, happy, observed without going.

CHOIR ROOM-

All the cast dressed for the second half when Will enters.

"Oh my gosh, is Kurt doing Santana's makeup?"

Artie rolls over to him.

Artie : They loved us! We're a hit.

Tina : Wh...Wh...Where's April?

Kurt : You were right, Mr Shue. She'd massacre Mariah in a diva-off.

Will : April is amazing. But she's not in the glee club anymore.

Everyone is surprised.

Will : It... I, uh... I screwed up bringing her here. It was about me and Glee Club is supposed to be about you guys. You don't need her to be great.

Mercedes : But we need her for the second act.

Will : I'll just have to go out there and tell them we had to cut the show short.

"What kind of show choir director is he?" Wes raged. "'Cut the show short', that is why we have backups people!"

Everyone is disappointed.

Will : Hey, guys. You were great. Don't worry.

Rachel enters at that moment.

Will : There will be other performances.

Rachel : Excuse me? I think I might have a solution. In show business, when a star can't perform, her understudy steps in.

"Thank you!"

Rachel : I'd be happy to go in for April, if you'd let me.

Mercedes : Since when are you willing to be an understudy?

Rachel : Since I quit the play.

Kurt : Really? Why?

Rachel : I realized being a star didn't make me feel as special as being your friend. If I'd let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never forgive myself. I know all the words to the song.

Quinn : You don't know the choreography.

Santana approving.

Finn : Then we're going to have to give her a lot of help out there.

Finn smiling to Rachel.

Will : Go get in your costume.

AUDITORIUM-

Will joining Emma next to her seat.

Will : Excuse-me!

Emma, concerned when the cast joins the scene.

Caaaaa-aaaaan

Finn sang the opening line

"Oooh, Queen!"

anybody find me somebody to love?

"Kurt was a little late on the head turn." Blaine noticed.

"At least he ditched the fanny pack."

"At least they ditched the lewd choreography."

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

The Warblers began harmonizing along with the show.

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyone began clapping rhythmically.

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Artie solos the next lines while playing electric guitar

"Woo! Go Artie!" Jeff called. He turned to Nick, clutching his hands. "He's multi-talented." He was star struck.

And now I'm losing my boyfriend to a handicapped television show nerd. Nick thought.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

The entire New directions are a hit on stage in front of an appreciative audience and Emma is very excited.

END

"YEAH!"

"Woo!

The boys cheered.