Part four of the fan fiction that won't die. Enjoy. Or not. Throw something at it then.

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Spilt Sauce ; Chapter Four
By Silver Vaporeon
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It was hard giving P-chan a bath but Ukyo managed to give P-chan a quick scrubbing with shampoo. As she dried the small piglet off with her hairdryer, the question of why P-chan shunned the warm water she had filled the large cooking pot with. He had run around the kitchen, squealing in horrified protest. The okonomiyaki cook had only managed to grab onto the pig's bandana before he slipped out of it and out of sight. It had taken her about an hour full of confusion and frustration to find him hiding in the cupboards. She was annoyed with the fact that she probably had to clean out all the pots and pans in P-chan's hiding place (lest the pig had diseases) but was glad that the piglet did not attempt to bite her when she successfully captured and tossed him into the now-barely lukewarm water. The sharp fanged teeth that Ranma had often complained about had often sent chills down her spine and she was not willing to risk the pig to run amuck again - even bite her - if she tried giving him a warm bath.

"There we go, all done, piggy," Ukyo sighed and turned the blow-dryer off. P-chan shook himself to rid his body of the prickling sensation the hot air had given him. The girl scooped him up gently and walked up the stairs to her private quarters after turning off the lights downstairs. She slid the door open and entered, closing the door behind her. The lights flickered on and P-chan found himself in a small room and looked curiously at the rumpled futon and then at the television that seemed to have one of Ukyo's spatulas embedded into it.

"It's not much," Ukyo breathed, "but it's home. You're probably more used to running around the large Tendo residence, huh, piggy?"

"Bwee," P-chan shook his head and then looked around. Ukyo walked past him and opened the small closet to bring out a spare blanket. It had a pattern on it akin to the one on Ukyo's uniform that she wore for her work and would have been suspectful of being from the same fabric if it wasn't soft. She folded it loosely and set it on the floor. She then looked sternly at P-chan.

"This is going to be your bed for now. Don't you dare tear at it or make a mess on it," she said. P-chan shook his head quickly, almost as if he understood not to harm the blanket in any physical way.

Satisfied with the piglet's answer, Ukyo turned off the lights and slipped into the futon, quickly lulled to sleep by the pattering of the rain. P-chan trotted over to the blanket and settled himself down, nuzzling in the downy softness. He looked over to where the young girl slept, a slight frown on her face.

Nevertheless, she looked calmer than she usually did when he saw her…bordering on being overwhelmed with her business….excited about a new plan to split Ranma and Akane up…when she yelled at him that day…

He sighed, noting the haircut that he had helped give her. It was just like before...when he had first arrived in Nerima and his razor-sharp belt had sliced through his dear Akane's long raven hair. She had forgiven him by the time he saw her again as a human. Ukyo on the other hand…

She didn't seem to be the type of girl to easily forgive someone.

On the other hand, Ranma's father had shamed her by making off with her dowry. And from what she told him, she forgave Ranma and decided not to kill him when she realized it wasn't his fault and when she realized he loved her, saying she was cute. Perhaps if he said she was… P-chan shook his head.

As if Ukyo Kuonji would believe he thought she was cute if he had said so.

As if he would stoop to such levels to declare her more beautiful than Akane Tendo. Even if it would be a white lie.

He gave a soft bwee and closed his eyes, the vision of Akane guiding him to sleep.

****

"He's at whose?!" Ranma looked up at his fiancée as he made his way down the hall towards his room, a towel draped over his shoulder.

"You heard me the first time; P-chan got lost in the rain and Ukyo found him around her restaurant," Akane repeated for the pigtailed boy. Ranma turned his head, the wheels of inner speculation grinding together as facts clashed with each other. Ryoga had seemed pretty set on avoiding Ukyo for the remainder of his lifetime the last time he had seen him, which was in the Tendo bath before he had morphed into P-chan with a bucket of cold water. There was just no logical reason why the black bit of bacon would have decided to drop by Ukyo's residence on purpose. So it probably wasn't.

"I see. So you gonna leave pork-butt over at Ucchan's during the trip?" Ranma inquired. Akane flashed an angry glare at the red-shirted martial artist.

"Don't call him that! And for your information, I am going to go over tomorrow to pick him up before we leave," she replied and turned her head. Ranma narrowed his eyes.

"So he'd get lost out in the streets again? You know we can't take him on the trip anyways, you know, the whole "no pets allowed" rule at the inn?"

"Don't be stupid, Ranma, he's been able to take care of himself and Dr. Tofu said he'd leave food and water out for P-chan every day," Akane shot in defense. Ranma put his hands behind his head, an idea taking root in the corner of his mind.

"Well, I dunno, Akane, P-chan was lookin' pretty scrawny the last time he came here. Maybe it's best to let Ucchan take care of him while we're gone instead of letting him wander around and hope that he'd get something to eat," Ranma replied. Akane looked at Ranma as if he had told her that the koi in the pond outside had learned how to dance the Charleston.

"Why?" Akane asked Ranma. "I mean, I just told her I'd be picking P-chan up tomorrow and it really would be an extra hassle, especially after what happened. Or she could take the chance to hurt P-chan because that would be hurting me and- oh, gods! What if she tried to eat him!?"

Ranma stared at his fiancée. "You know, that last half sounded incredibly stupid. Ucchan hasn't been plotting anything since who knows when and she doesn't even serve pork at her restaurant, let alone eat it. Something about eating spoiled pork when she was a little kid…"

"Whatever, Ranma!" Akane interrupted Ranma's lovely digression from the topic at hand. "Even if she doesn't dice him up, it's still bothering her!"

"Do you ever take care of P-chan? Aside from feeding him table scraps?" Ranma pointed out. "I don't think so. Heck, you never even trained the porker and he hasn't made a mess out of the place. Does he ever put a wrench into your routines? Does having him make you unhappy?"

Akane put a finger to her lips in thought for a moment and then shook her head before blinking in realization about what Ranma was trying to hint at. "No….i-in fact…P-chan always makes me happy whenever I get sad…"

Ranma smiled. Like it or not, Ryoga was going to be spending some time thinking about how to talk to Ukyo.

*********

"Yes, I got a new haircut, Mr. Oro, I found it to be a hassle in my line of work, you know?" Ukyo replied when her usual weekend-morning patron stepped in and stared at her, wondering what was different about the chief. He gave a small nod for her explanation was logical and was soon eating his usual order. Ukyo sighed and sat down on the small stool behind the counter, twisting a lock of her hair between her fingers. It was an odd feeling to have such short hair. Sure, she tied it back often but she was not used to the lightness of her head or the absence of the tassel of hair brushing against her neck. She looked towards the stairs of the building, hoping that the pig would have the sense to not create a ruckus after he woke up.

Not a moment after the thought finished expressing itself in her mind, she heard a squeal and the thumping of P-chan bouncing down the stairs. He landed head-first on the hard wooden floor and rolled in the teetering fashion of a coin past the grill and into the dining section. Eventually, his body found a spot against the wall to crash against, proving Newton's first law to be true. A flimsy piece of paper fluttered off the wall and landed on the piglet's large snout, making him look utterly, pathetically and pitifully cute. In fact, if there were Japanese school girls instead of a middle-aged salary man eating breakfast at that moment, one would have heard a unanimous "aww". Ukyo sighed and abandoned her post behind the grill, walking towards the disorientated piglet who continued to ram his head into the wall as he tried to find his way back to the stairs.

"You idiot pig…" the chef muttered as she yanked the pig up by the bandana which somehow didn't choke him. "You can't wander around in the kitchen, y'know. Someone would try to order pork okonomiyaki or something if they see you. You stay upstairs for now, alright?"

"Bwee~" P-chan nodded his head which was throbbing like mad and nodding did nothing to cure it. Ukyo walked back to the staircase and set him on the third step. After much thought, the piglet figured out where the room was and bounded upwards. Ukyo walked back to her station behind the grill and watched her patron partake in her specialty.

The door slid open and Akane walked in, smiling and carrying a bulky, wrapped bundle under her arm which was covered by the long sleeve of her usual yellow sweater. Ukyo gave a small sigh of relief and ventured from behind the grill to meet with her.

"Akane, you're here! Wait right here, I'll go get your piggy," Ukyo started to turn when Akane spoke up.

"Ukyo, I am really sorry to bother you with a request but…do you think you can take care of P-chan for me while me and my family are gone?" Akane asked, hoping that her story would be convincing enough. Ukyo blinked and looked back at her friendly rival.

"Huh? I thought you were going to take him with you today, that's what you told me," Ukyo said, a bit confused. Akane shook her head.

"No, I was going to leave him at Dr. Tofu's place because the inn that we're going to doesn't allow animals but Dr. Tofu's just told me he couldn't look after P-chan this time so, I-I am sorry that this is such short notice but…can you take care of him? Ranma thought you'd be great for the job. I-it really wouldn't be that much of a-"

"L-Look, Sugar, I run a restaurant. That means customers come in every day and I don't have time to babysit little pigs during working hours. There's a lot of dangerous stuff in here: gas, knives, shredders…if he got out and went sniffing around, you'd have sliced bacon for a pet," Ukyo argued.

"Well, P-chan isn't a normal pig; he'll listen if you tell him not to do something and he knows what to avoid. Please, Ukyo, can you please take care of him? It won't be for long and he can be a good pig to talk to," Akane stumbled with her words.

"Well…I really don't know and there is the bill to sort out and stuff," Ukyo sighed. Akane grabbed the opportunity that Ukyo's doubt presented and held out the bundle she was carrying.

"These would be the things he needs. He knows how to use a litter box if you can't leave the door open all the time; it's all in here…there should be enough food in there for him as well," Akane pressed. Ukyo bit her lip. It would mean some extra work for her but then again, it could earn brownie points with Ranma who *had* recommended her….

"Alright, Akane, but he'd better not give me much trouble or I'll have to take my complaints to you when you get back," Ukyo finally replied. Akane smiled widely and pushed the bundle into Ukyo's arms.

"Thank you so much, Ukyo! Can I just see him before I go though?"

Ukyo, getting over her shock nodded her head towards the stairs. "Sure. He's up in my room."

"Great! I just need to say goodbye to him," Akane grabbed the bag from Ukyo again and ran up the stairs. Ukyo shook her head. How did she ever wind up in these things?

*******

"P-chan!" Akane set down the pack near the door and scooped up her pet piglet into her arms as he bounded towards her while squealing happily. After giving him a large hug, she held him up to eye-level. "Guess what, P-chan? You won't have to wander around the streets waiting for me to come back!"

P-chan gave her a puzzled look. Every time she had gone a trip, he'd take the opportunity to "show up" at the same place in human form and hopefully spend a few days with her without getting lost. Either that or he'd get himself lost looking for her. Akane giggled at his perplexity and continued.

"I just talked to Ukyo about you and she said she'd take care of you while I am gone. Isn't that great news, baby?" she cooed. P-chan's eyes bugged out and he squealed in protest. Spending time with Ukyo was not very high on his list while she was still mad at him.

"Aww, P-chan, don't be so surprised. She'll take good care of you so you'd better not wander off and cause her any trouble, alright? Show her why I think you're the best pet in the whole wide world," Akane smiled and P-chan's fragile heart melted and broke at the same time. She had such faith in him that he wouldn't cause any trouble…but to spend two weeks or more as a pig with a girl that hated his human side…but Akane would be happy….

He drooped his head and nodded, promising to be on good behavior.

*********

Throughout the day, usual customers wandered in and out of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, eating their orders, slightly surprised about the change in their cook's hair, making Ukyo more and more self-conscious as time continued on its merciless path. She had been looking forward to the deluge of customers that usually came because of the absence of school but the recent turn of events had made her consider closing her doors for the day. And of course, money was always an issue.

Most of the patrons were nice enough to either make forced comments about it or ignore the change altogether though she decided against it to prove that her business would be unaffected by personal conflicts. However, there were also the inconsiderate ones from Furinkun and their friends from the surrounding high schools who talked loudly about the incident from the day before and about how this saw this and that. Eventually, by the end of the day, the facts got so twisted and warped that some of the people who weren't at the scene had believed that Ukyo was involved with some intimate relationship with the principal or in some other ridiculous scandals, some of which Ukyo believed were spread by Shampoo to bring more business to the Cat Café or simply just to spite her. How the rumors spread so fast, she had no idea. All she knew was that by three that afternoon, she was going to snap if anything else happened.

When night fell, Ukyo gave P-chan a small bowl of rice with some vegetables when she found that the "biscuits" that Akane had packed for her pet were harder than petrified stone. Akane was right about one thing; P-chan kept out of the way a lot of the times, so much that she even forgot about him for a whole day, which was fine enough for him, though his growling stomach made her remember him again. Ukyo was tired of running back and forth through the restaurant that gave her more trouble than usual and always full of delinquents. With no time to really unwind, her schedule consisted of getting up, getting dressed, working all day, feeding P-chan, changing clothes and going to sleep which was making her more and more edgy.

The blue-eyed girl would have expected Kodachi to be the one to add the final straw to break the camel's back. However, Kuno, who had stopped by to place a large order of okonomiyaki for a "gathering" at his house had told her that his younger sister had decided to venture to France for the remainder of her winter break to study French Rhythmic Gymnastic martial arts techniques which Ukyo had never heard of. Of course she never even heard of rhythmic gymnastics as being a form of martial arts before to begin with until she met Tatewaki's younger sister. The troublesome customers gave Ukyo little trouble after Kuno had brought his mighty bokken upon the head of a male delinquent and promised to give others a similar lesson if they followed in the boy's footsteps though some snide comments were made about how the kendoist had a thing for the okonomiyaki cook to which Kuno's ears turned pink as he angrily denied it and chased the hooligans out.

Business soon trickled down as people left the area to visit family or got devoured by their schoolwork that was to be done during the break, leaving Ukyo with little to do. The math notes that Miki had left sat undisturbed on her desk next to her bookbag which had yet to be opened. In a way, she was glad that she didn't have to worry about schoolwork; the last few days had left her completely drained and only capable of doing routine jobs.

By the end of the fourth day, Ukyo was tired of the dwindling business as Christmas drew near and closed shop for the rest of the break like all the other restaurants had and then headed upstairs.

****

P-chan flopped onto the ground and stared at the ceiling. Being stuck in pig-form was driving Ryoga crazy and being cooped up in one area was not doing any good for him. His body was crying out for the open roads again but he reluctantly stayed because Akane had told him to do so and not give Ukyo any trouble. He had kept true to his word, though it didn't really require much on his part since he saw the girl twice a day (when she got up in the morning and when she trudged back into the room at night) and she barely said anything to him. He looked to the window and watched night fall on the district of Nerima. The days had gotten colder and the small pig was slightly glad that at least the room was warmer than the woods that he'd sleep in when he got lost.

However, the pig was about to explode with unused energy if he didn't go out anytime soon. With nothing better to do, he ran around in circles. Or rather, wobbly paths that looped around the room.

The door slid open and Ukyo entered the room, blinking a bit in amusement at the pig that was running about her living quarters. She sat by her small vanity and removed the white ribbon from her hair and started to run a comb through the mahogany tresses. Her eyes locked with her reflection's and then fell to it's still-unevenly cropped hair which she had came to hate even more after the mockery the troublemakers' had made of her. She stopped brushing her hair and slammed her hand against the wood surface of the dressing table in frustration.

"That stupid jackass-! This is all his fault!" she cursed aloud. P-chan's legs lost control of themselves - like a bicyclist whose bike chain had come loose suddenly - and the piglet found himself tripping over himself, rolling head-over-heels into the wall. He looked at the girl with wide fearful eyes as the comb broke into two pieces in her hands and the pieces were thrown violently at the adjacent wall.

'So she's still angry…' he thought to himself as Ukyo slumped over on the dressing table, burying her head in her arms, frustrated with the week. Ryoga-turned-P-chan lowered his large black ears and made himself scarce his corner, hiding under the blanket he slept on.

Ukyo took a deep cleansing breath to settle her nerves and stood up to look over her shoulder.

"Piggy?" she blinked, seeing that P-chan was no longer running around the room. "Piggy? Where are you?"

P-chan quivered from under the blue blanket. He was sure that Ukyo hadn't figured out his curse before and would have no anger towards him but the way she felt about him as Ryoga…

It was quite nerve-wracking.

The dark comforting surrounding suddenly disappeared and he gave out a squeal of fright as he saw Ukyo smirking at him, the blanket in her arms.

"Silly pig. I am not mad at you. It's a nice night out, why don't you say we go for a walk?" she suggested. P-chan edged away, nervous about the sudden change in attitude. Ukyo's tensed expression and voice attempted to soften. "Piggy, come on, it will be good for both of us."

Trying to hide his shaking, P-chan nodded his head. Ukyo gave an awkward smile and reached for Akane's bundle. She brought it forth and dug out a strange-looking green sweater that Akane had made to fit P-chan snuggly and chuckled.

"Akane sure likes to give you accessories, 'P," She commented as she dressed P-chan to protect him from the cold outside. "It's sorta cute in a weird way."

P-chan squealed in happiness, the raggedy home-made sweater reminding him of his mistress who had lovingly sewn the garment for him. The brown-haired girl rose to her feet again and walked to the small dresser and began untying the sash that wove around her blue chef's outfit and kept it from falling open. The sash hit the floor and the Ukyo began to pull one arm free of the sleeves of her robe. P-chan knew this signal all too well and turned the other way, thinking about lovely thoughts such as beating Ranma up into a bloody pulp to block out the sounds of clothing being shifted and dropped. After removing her sarashi, Ukyo pulled out a clean pink-and-white checkered yukata and quickly dressed herself in it for the weather was cold.

P-chan heard some clattering and the other familiar noises of obtaining things. A lasso-like loop of white rope looped around his neck and pulled tight, elicting a panicky squeal from the poor pig.

"Hey! Piggy! Settle down, it's only a leash so I don't lose you when we go out!" Ukyo explained, keeping a firm grip on the other end of the rope, waiting for P-chan to calm down. Eventually, he did and they made their way into the streets, Ukyo's geta "karan-koron"-ing upon the cement path in the silent night.

P-chan looked towards the stars as he trotted along the path. They glittered brilliantly in the cold clear night sky. They had been his companions over the years he spent wandering all over Japan and he relaxed into a calm state of mind as he traced the familiar constellations out with his eyes. Too bad he never figured out how to use them as a map, though a map wasn't much of a help to him anyways.

Karan. Koron. Karan. Koron. The wooden geta were a familiar and somewhat soothing sound in the darkness. Ukyo turned her gaze to the bright stars, her breath visible in small clouded wisps.

"Hmm. The stars are bright tonight, aren't they, piggy?" she found herself talking to P-chan. P-chan gave a small oink which the girl interpreted as an agreement. She smirked to herself. Imagine; Ukyo Kuonji asking a pig for his opinion. She set the thought aside, not wanting to think about how ridiculous the notion was; she just wanted to relax. "Maybe we can go sit in the park later after we drop by the public baths," she continued.

BATHS?!

P-chan looked up at Ukyo, who was going on about not washing herself over since the last week and how she probably smelled like sauce and batter, and squealed in horror. In the hand that she did not hold the other end of his leash was a small plastic wash-bin with dainty little bottles of shampoo and conditioner as well as a small face cloth. A larger matching towel was draped over her arm. P-chan's eyes bugged out of their sockets. He remembered once when the bath at the Tendo residence had broke, Akane had tried to take him to have a hot bath with her at the public facility. Luckily he had escaped before Akane could have reached him and returned a week later when she had forgotten about the incident and was too busy trying to kill her fiancé.

What if Ukyo wanted to give him a washing with hot water? He realized, his stomach twisting into a tangled knot. He could hear the petrified screams and the beatings he would receive from the girls' side of the baths…..

He tugged at his leash, eager to get away. Ukyo's arm followed the tugging and she nearly lost equilibrium but pulled the frantic pig back once she regained balance and recovered from the sudden shock. P-chan flailed and squealed but alas, his piggy body wasn't as strong as his human one.

"Honestly! I don't understand you, you pig," Ukyo said, puzzled. "It's not like water is going to kill you or anything." She dragged him the rest of the way to the baths and tied him to the post outside. Or rather the other end of the leash since tying the piglet to the pole would bring PETA hollering and screaming at Ukyo on counts of animal abuse.

"You wait out here while I wash up, alright? See you in a bit!" Ukyo said before disappearing into the facility. P-chan struggled against the agitating rope and finally bit his way through. There was no way he was hanging around to be doused with heated water if the girl decided to try to rinse him off after she was done with her own bath.

Heated water…..

He turned his head back to the baths and headed into the men's side, attracting a few puzzled looks and then even more when Ryoga emerged from the waters of the bath with a soaked miniature green sweater on his head. The Lost Boy tugged the sweater off his head and put it aside before stretching and placing his arms behind his head, glad to be human again. He let out a long sigh of contentment, soaking in the warmth of the water of the men's baths. Aside from the few men and boys who had stared at him when he transformed, there weren't any other people on his side of the public facility. In any case, it didn't bother Ryoga at all. In fact, it was a nice change from the times he usually spent slipping and sliding on the floor as P-chan when some obnoxious brat squirted him with cold water.

An hour later, Ryoga exited the public baths, nice and toasty and wearing only a skimpy little towel around his waist, the little green sweater dangling in his hand.

He looked around and felt relieved when he saw no sign of Ukyo screaming for a missing P-chan. The Lost Boy had grown frantic when he woke up beneath the waters of the baths and had bolted from the facility, remembering that he was supposed to be tied to the pole outside. In his haste, the two options he had of turning back into a pig or remaining human got mixed up in his head and his brain-on-automatic declared that he would be a human without clothes on since the little towel wrapped around his waist could hardly be considered an article of clothing.

"Whew. I beat her out of there," Ryoga praised himself. "Now I just have to wait around f-for a w-w-while…" Ryoga threw his head back and sneezed. His knees knocked together and he rubbed at his arms to keep whatever warmth he had left. A cold breeze snuck up behind him and robbed him of more heat, as if to spite him. Ryoga cursed his luck and sneezed again, feeling rather miserable in the cold.

A burgundy blur brushed by the Lost Boy with a large green sack over its back. Ryoga looked back to see what the heck it was and was taken by surprise when it changed its course, rebounded and ran smack into his nose. Ryoga yelped and tipped backwards before he used momentum to straighten himself again, his nose stinging a great deal.

"Hey!" he cried, looking for the culprit who had smacked into his face. Finding no one at eye-level, he looked downwards and saw the legendary panty-thief himself.

"Hello, Ryoga, m'boy!" Happosai greeted the Lost Boy. His wizened face smiled up at the younger man, a black kerchief around his head and tied beneath his nose. "Wanna help me on my nightly panty-raid?"

Ryoga blushed in thought of the frilly feminine under-things but regained his stern angry look quickly.

"Look, freak! I don't go stealing girls' underwear!" Ryoga pointed down at Happosai. "And neither should you!"

Happosai frowned and looked away, his eyes closed. "Well, you should consider differently; you're in need of undies yourself." And with that, Happosai flipped up Ryoga's towel in the manner he'd flip up a girl's skirt. Of course, he didn't look at the Lost Boy as he did so. That would be just wrong.

"AIE!" Ryoga quickly pulled down his little towel, making sure he was still of decency. "W-why you…..!"

"Ha ha! Catch me if you can!" Happosai laughed gleefully, the green mini sweater waving around like a flag in his shriveled hand. Ryoga's eyes widened as he saw Akane's gift in the old man's hand.

"COME BACK HERE!" Ryoga bounded after the little shrimpy man. He underestimated the old perverted man and his eyes lost track of the bouncing fleabag. Ryoga rounded the corner of the bathhouse where Happosai was jumping up and down in front of the wall.

"Here! Over here, you slowpoke! You're getting' old!" Happosai sang gleefully, infuriating Ryoga even more. Ryoga clenched his fists and bared his teeth. How dare he steal his sweater! How DARE he!

"Shut up, you oompa-loompa!" the bandana'ed boy yelled, throwing his right arm back, charging towards the miniature man.

"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"

The old man jumped away at the last second but Ryoga's finger continued on its straight path and sank into solid brick easier than a hot knife cuts through butter. The wall buckled under Ryoga's 'breaking point' technique and a rough hole was formed, linking the inside with the outside and allowing volumes of steam to escape into the cold night. Happosai bounced off of Ryoga's head and headed inside the room behind the now-broken wall to the locker room where the women kept their underwear.

"…huh?" Ryoga's eyes widened in shock as the steam cleared. Before him was the women's side of the bathhouse and the women stared back as they realized that there was a hole in the wall and that there was a draft. What they saw was a rather befuddled boy clad in a skimpy towel, red in the face and blood threatening to burst from his nose as his visual sense registered a scene that was rather reminiscent of Renoir's 'Bathers', replacing the sugar-coated pastel beauties with down-right embarrassed ladies ranging from teenaged girls to women of seniority.

The screams of "PERVERT!" and "LECHER!" along with many death threats were heard as the horde of the women who were bathing took it upon themselves to run towards Ryoga and beat him nearly unconscious with wash bins and rocks from the demolished wall. Apparently, the women of Nerima really didn't go anywhere since there were a lot of them. Ryoga curled up into a defensive ball, his eyes squeezed shut as the women continued to lambaste him, fearing that he would be killed if he dared to open them. He wriggled this way and that, trying to find a means of escape but every time, another woman would kick him back into the fray and he'd be beaten up once more. The ring grew tighter and tighter around him and the voices grew louder and louder and soon he felt people stepping all over him.

"But it wasn't my fault~!" he cried out pathetically.

*SPLASH!* someone had tossed cold water on him - or rather at him - and he felt his body change instantly. His structure tightened and shrank and hands became hooves. And then someone stepped on him and he squealed like one of those rubber duckies one would see on Sesame Street.

"Oh! Where'd this pig come from?" a teenaged girl exclaimed, picking the abused P-chan up, calling her acquaintances' attention. "He must have gotten caught in the fight, the poor thing!" P-chan grew nervous and hid his skewed eyes behind his large ears.

"Hey! The pervert is gone!" another woman announced and the others murmured nervously.

"Maybe he escaped out that hole that he made," a young girl observed.

"They should really make these places more safe!"

"You're tellin' me!"

P-chan squirmed out of the girl's arms and ran through the bathhouse; slipping and sliding on the slippery floor and stumbled into the main lobby where he collapsed on the floor.

"Piggy!" Ukyo, roughly dressed in her yukata, ran up from behind and scooped Ryoga-turned-P-chan up into her arms. Apparently, she had just ventured out of the locker rooms after she had donned her clothing again after her bath. "What the heck have you gotten yourself into? You look like you've gone through the blender, sugar!"

"Bwee…."

"Ukyo-baby!" Happosai sprang out from the locker room with his green sack full of women's underwear. He leaped up from behind to glomp Ranma's 'cute fiancée' who shoved an elbow into the old man in the face as he was diving at her.

"Get lost, you old freak!" Ukyo spun around and screamed at him. "How DARE you sneak up on me like that when I was changing!" she gave him a few good stomps on the head before kicking him up into the starry night through the roof, leaving his stolen goods scattered on the floor of the building since they spilled out as he flew through the second story. The green sweater he had stolen from Ryoga floated harmlessly down onto P-chan's head and he held it between his teeth. Ukyo breathed harshly through her nose before calming down and running a hand through her short hair.

"Really, that creep should stop trying to sneak up on people in the locker rooms!" Ukyo complained. P-chan shuttered in the girl's free arm that was cradling him gently, the taste of woolen yarn present throughout his mouth.
It was all so very odd for her to be able to be kind and unmerciful at the same time.

"We'd better go before people start asking questions, huh?" Ukyo stated rather than asked and ran out of the bathhouse with P-chan and her bath-things in one arm, her geta resounding on the sidewalk, before the other females decided to check the lobby for their missing under-things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that was getting way too long for me to continue and be sane while looking at it, and 'sides, I have APs coming so I figured, if I died because of them, at least you'd get part 4. PANIC INSUES! *ahem* So, yeah, decided to upload this part anyways even though I probably need to review over it again. Hopefully, that didn't bore anyone to death. Umm…Part Five coming sometime after APs are done. And hopefully that will be more interesting/developing than this part. Yeah….

Ciao for now. Make a fan fiction author happy. Review today.

-SV