Summary: Darcy's not having a good day. The sudden appearance of Wade Wilson isn't going to make it any better.
Characters/ Parings: Darcy Lewis/ Clint Barton, Wade Wilson (Deadpool)/ Internet Meme, Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: CRACK, though with Deadpool, do you expect anything else?
Disclaimer: Don't own any Marvel characters or Darcy Lewis.
A/N: Part two in the Glamour Girl series! I need some crack in my life to make me feel better. So you get this. If you haven't read the first, I suggest you do as it'll make more sense.
A/N2: Much like the first one, I'll be writing this as the madness hits. Not sure how many chapters yet or the exact conclusion but hope you enjoy the ride!

When Darcy walked through Clint's front door, she wasn't expecting to hear him mumble a curse or the loud slam of his bedroom door. Particularly since she had only been gone for five minutes. Literally. She kissed him goodbye but by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, realised she didn't have her cellphone charger. What the hell could Clint be up to within five minutes that was worth keeping secret from her?

"Clint?"

"Hey, what are you doing back?" He asked through the door.

"I forgot my phone charger. Is it in the bedroom?" Darcy tentatively tried the bedroom door but it was locked.

"Uh, not that I see. Maybe it's out there?"

"Oh," Darcy looked around and saw that it was on the kitchen counter. "Yeah, I see it."

"Okay. Have a nice day."

"Clint?" Darcy started, nausea welling in her stomach as she placed an ear to the door. She could hear a slight ruffle of movement but not much else.

"Yeah baby?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you slammed the door pretty hard when you heard me come in."

"Oh, um...sorry."

"What are you doing in there?"

"Uh...masturbating."

"What?" Darcy exclaimed, eyes widening. That was the last thing she was expecting to hear. It sort of explained the strange behaviour but she was pretty sure that he'd thrown out all his porn. Did he get new magazines or did he find a different hiding place than under his mattress? A part of Darcy wondered if he was actually looking at those lingerie pictures of her. She wasn't as upset at the thought now as she had been a few months ago but it made her feel a little self conscious. Other thoughts of what he could be doing tugged incessantly at the corners of her mind. Clint had been acting a little more distant lately and it was worrying her. Trouble was looming in paradise.

"Yeah. You caught me at a bad time. Just go to work."

"I...I can afford to be a little late. I probably missed the train I wanted. Do...you want me to come in?"

"No!" Clint said way too quickly for Darcy's comfort.

"Oh, well do you want me to just talk dirty?"

"Huh? Oh..." Clint sounded surprised at the offer but there was a distinct tone that suggested he wasn't opposed to the idea. He cleared his throat. "Thanks but I think this is something I need to do on my own."

"Alright. Well, I'm going now," Darcy almost left but stood for a second, weighing her options before she just went out and said it. "I love you."

"Thanks babe," Clint said after a pause.

It was Darcy's turn to slam the door.