1 month, 4 days, 18 hours, 23 minutes, and 58 seconds ago is the moment I will remember for the rest of my life. It has changed my existence.

"Spock!" Jim...my Captain was walking towards me, a smile on his face.

But it was not his normal smile. It did not reach his eyes.

"Look, I have to talk to you. It's...uh, it's about the last mission and sickbay."

I stiffened. I clearly remembered what happened in sickbay after our disastrous mission near Klingon space. Having an eidetic memory was unfortunate at some points in life.

In front of me lay my Captain, slowly fighting for his next breath. Dr. McCoy had been walking to and from various mechanical devices, attempting to revive Jim. I looked at him and my side hurt. It was hurting me that he was in pain. I took a step forward, involuntarily. The Doctor had glanced at me, as surprised by my movement as I was. And then I took another step, and another, until I was at Jim's side. My captain...my friend was in pain, and there was nothing I was able to do to help. I heard the beeping on a machine change and heard Dr. McCoy let out a breath, as if relieved.

"He's stabilizing. He should be awake soon, though, so if you want to head on back to whatever you do after missions…?" The doctor had looked at me, I believe. I did not look back. My gaze was fixed on Jim.

"No."

"Excuse me? Now listen here, you green-blooded hobgoblin-" I heard him approaching me and held up a hand before slightly turning myself.

"I will say this once, and only once. I require to be by his side. I request that you let me stay."

To my surprise, hidden as it always was, he obliged. Without a word, he left the room and closed the door.

With no one watching, I let myself release a breath I had not realized I was holding. Gently I lowered myself until I was sitting on the edge of the biobed.

Jim's eyes fluttered for a moment before he returned to sleep.

The pain in my side increased. 'Heartache' I realized with chagrin. Illogical.

But as I looked back at my Captain, my friend, my colleague, my Jim, I realized that maybe, perhaps, it was not completely illogical. Emotion itself is not entirely illogical. As I looked at him, I finally found another word to add to what Jim was to me. T'hy'la.

And with that thought my walls crumbled around me. Thoughts and feelings I had repressed came rushing back, engulfing me in a sea of emotion, one emotion. Love.

I loved Jim.

A second after the thought crossed my mind, Jim stirred, rolling towards the side of the biobed I sat on. His hand brushed my arm before I could rebuild my shields and his eyes flew open.

"What the-" he looked around frantically before noticing my presence. His eyes were wild and confused.

He had felt it. I was projecting too much, my shields unable to protect those who touched me from emotional transference. He knew. He had to.

I ran.

"Of course, Captain." I inclined my head, though a flash of fear had hit me at his statement.

"Well I thought we should talk about this somewhere less public, actually. Can you meet me in my room in fifteen minutes? We can play a game of chess or something."

"Yes, sir."

"Jim."

With that one word, my fear vanished. He could not be angry, or worse, disgusted with me if he was still allowing me to address him as Jim.

"Yes, Jim."

14 minutes and 47 seconds later I stood outside of Jim's door. A strange sort of nervous energy was invading my body, and I could not seem to make myself stand completely still. First my leg twitched, a very uncommon happenstance for Vulcans. Next my arm. And so on until I saw Jim walking down the hallway toward me.

"Why didn't you just go in Spock? You've got an override code." Jim frowned a bit.

"I did not wish to invade your privacy and thought it prudent to wait for you here."

"Ok. Well you're not invading my privacy. You know, for future reference." Jim smiled then, and it was a real smile, one that touched his eyes and lit up his face.

"I will keep that in mind, Jim."

Said man gave me a strange look that I could not decipher and entered his passcode. He gestured for me to go in first, and I took my usual seat on one side of the table. Jim entered and collected the chess set from its place on the shelves. For a moment I forgot what I had been nervous about.

"So Spock. We need to talk."

Ah. That.

"What do you wish to talk about, Captain?"

"Oh no. No. I am not 'captain' right now, understand? Not for this conversation." He sat down across from me and set up the chess board before continuing. "About sickbay…" he trailed off and moved a pawn.

I carefully moved a knight and replied. "What about sickbay, Jim?"

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking up at me. "You know what I'm talking about Spock. Don't pretend you don't."

This was a dilemma. I had two options, two different directions to choose from. I could lie, and say I did not know what he was talking about. On the other hand, I could tell the truth, as Vulcans are supposed to do. My Vulcan side won.

"Yes, I believe I know what you are referencing. However, I do not know what you intend to discuss."

Jim did not answer. He simply kept his gaze fixed on the board.

"Jim?"

Finally he looked up at me, and the expression in his eyes was one I had difficulty reading. It was...confusion, determination, nervousness, hurt, and...affection?

"I know that this is going to sound stupid, but I...I felt your emotions. I don't know how, 'cause I thought only Vulcans could do that, but maybe, I don't know, you were thinking really loudly or something? Does that happen?"

I took a breath. And another. I opened my mouth to respond, and realized I could not find the words I required. I was unable to find an acceptable answer without revealing that he had, in fact, been privy to my emotions in that moment. "Vulcans are able to project their thoughts and...feelings when in contact with another being."

Jim's eyes widened.

"In the instance you are speaking of, your hand came into contact with my arm for a brief moment."

"So it was you." Jim's voice still held uncertainty in it.

I held back a sigh. There was no avoiding this now. "Yes, Jim."

All I could hope for, now that he knew for a fact that I felt more for him than he felt for me, was for our working relationship to remain untarnished.

Because I had expected disgust or, at the least, anger, I did not foresee what occurred after I answered.

Jim reached across the table and placed his hand on mine and said, "Taluhk nash-veh k'dular."

My breath caught in my throat as I heard my t'hy'la say, in my native tongue, I cherish thee, the closest pharse Vulcans have for I love you.

Silently, I placed my other hand on top of his and replied, "I love you as well, Jim."