Sorry it's been a while, my lovelies: been busy with a bunch of things. Welcome to my newest; i'll be trying to update soon -keep them reviews coming so I know there are people out there enjoying it!

This one stems from a request from the wonderful itanejiluver who has so kindly given me such nice reviews; if you're reading this, I hope you enjoy

Warning: Contains yaoi and eventual lemons and the foul mouth of Hidan
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

The lab was looking as pristine as ever, and Naruto Uzumaki was exhausted. With a heavy sigh, he checked the clock and groaned when he realised that it had just hit nine am. Perfect; just great; he'd only been at work an hour! Why did Itachi have to assign him such an exhausting job so early in the day? Mopping and sterilising took a lot out of a person, and Naruto hated it. It had probably been Sasuke's suggestion in the first place –he knew how much Naruto despised cleaning, and since Itachi Uchiha –his brother –was the boss of the laboratory, probably convinced him to make the blonde do the terrible manual work.

With a heavy sigh, Naruto headed over to his bench and started getting everything ready for the coming day. It was while he was checking over his reagent bottles that the boss himself entered, bleary-eyed and yawning.

"Good morning, Naruto; I'm glad to see you've done as I requested," Itachi remarked with a small, tired smile.

"Well, it wasn't as if I had a choice," Naruto muttered from between gritted teeth but disguising it with a grin.

" –Where's Deidara with my coffee?" Itachi grumbled crossly, heading over to his office.

" –Probably stopping off to get his aspirin," Naruto shrugged, "I think he had Hidan over last night." Itachi groaned and pressed a hand to his temple.

"Great; so no coffee for me and Hidan's going to be late, again," he sighed heavily, "…And we've got that new intern arriving today as well…" Naruto couldn't help but chuckle to himself at how unimpressed the Uchiha looked. Itachi was not a morning person, and could barely function until he'd had his double shot espresso. With another yawn, he dumped his belongings in his office and headed back out to inspect Naruto's handiwork.

"Where's Sasuke?" Itachi remarked flatly as he made sure that Naruto had run through all the calibration procedures for the day and had thoroughly carried out their daily maintenance.

" –How should I know?" Naruto grumbled as his boss pulled on his lab coat, "…He dumped me with all the shitty jobs; probably so he could sleep in –"

" –What's the moron saying about me?" the cool voice of Sasuke Uchiha could suddenly be heard in the quiet lab.

"None of your bloody business," Naruto snapped back irritably, spinning to glare in the direction of a certain pale, raven-haired man that had just entered the room; clad in respectable work shirt and pants –as opposed to Naruto's jeans and t-shirt.

" –Oh good, you're here; go fetch me my coffee," Itachi commented, immediately brightening at the prospect of caffeine.

"I'm not getting you coffee," Sasuke growled flatly, "Get Deidara to do it."

"Do you see Deidara?" Itachi remarked with a smile, "I'm the boss, so hurry along, little brother." Naruto couldn't help but chuckle gleefully as a scowl passed over the younger Uchiha's face before he reluctantly turned and stalked back out the door.

"…Why don't they let us have a coffee machine in here?" Naruto complained good-naturedly as Itachi headed over to his own workbench and began inspecting the agar plates that had been incubating overnight.

"Something about breaching hygiene regulations," Itachi informed him with a shrug, " –Believe me, I've suggested it."

Naruto, the two Uchiha brothers, and Deidara and Hidan who were more than likely both going to be late all worked at Konoha Community Laboratory as specialists in microbiology. They'd been working with each other for years –save for Sasuke, who had only been there for one; and only at the request of his father, who wanted Itachi to supervise Sasuke while he worked on his thesis.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, Itachi rather liked to use his authority –especially when it came to demeaning his little brother.

"Since it was technically Sasuke's turn to do the morning cleaning, can he work on the gastrointestinal bench today?" Naruto inquired hopefully; hating having to work with stool samples –much preferring to deal with his skin infections. Itachi chuckled; no one liked the gastrointestinal bench all that much, but since they rotated what they worked with, there was inevitably somebody that had to take it.

"Fair enough," Itachi remarked with a smirk, pulling on some gloves and taking out the plates from the incubator. Naruto pumped his fist in the air in victory and skipped over to his favourite bench to start preparing some slides.

" –Wait, did you say there was a new intern arriving today?" he remarked in surprise.

"Well, not really an intern," Itachi shrugged, "Tsunade's found Karin's replacement."

" –It's about time," Naruto admitted, shuddering a little at their crazy ex-co-worker who had been practically stalking Sasuke before quitting a few months ago, "At least she can't find anyone crazier."

"I wouldn't underestimate Tsunade and her ability to locate insane employees," Itachi remarked dryly, looking pointedly at Naruto, who was completely oblivious, "I think she mentioned that his name is Hyuuga?"

"Oh; like Hinata Hyuuga who works upstairs in biochemistry?" Naruto inquired curiously, "I've seen her around a bit –she always stares at me and it's kinda weird. She seems nice enough though –when she stops stuttering." Itachi resisted the urge to facepalm at Naruto's idiocy but quickly stopped himself.

"He should be arriving at midday," Itachi informed him, "If I'm busy, show him around the lab for me?"

"Why can't Sasuke?" Naruto complained crossly.

" –I'm already putting him on stool samples today; I can only punish him so much before he mentions it to mother," Itachi reminded him with a light chuckle. That was the moment when a long-haired blonde man decided to limp into the lab; much to the enjoyment of Naruto, who leaned on his bench slyly and smirked at the newcomer as Itachi headed to his office to begin sorting through the beginnings of the day's paperwork.

"Hey Deidara," he greeted cheekily; earning himself a wicked glare from the other man, "How was your night?"

"Fuck you, yeah," Deidara snapped crossly, pulling open his locker and beginning to jam everything into it.

" –Hidan not with you?" Naruto queried with a raised eyebrow, checking the doorway and not seeing their platinum-haired co-worker, "Did he not stay the night?"

"No, he didn't," Deidara growled with a scowl, pulling on his lab-coat and pulling up a chair beside Naruto at the bench; wincing as he sat, "He never stays. Never, yeah."

"Jeez," Naruto remarked, rubbing the back of his head self-consciously, feeling a little bad for mocking his friend, "…And how long have you been his booty call?"

"…Two years next month," Deidara muttered, averting his eyes as Naruto winced sympathetically.

" –And still no sign of exclusiveness?" he inquired.

"Nope," Deidara snorted, "And if I mention it, he just laughs at the idea of a relationship and fucks me anyway."

" –You're stupid for letting him," Naruto rolled his eyes, "Hidan's an asshole. Why do you even like him?"

"I wish I fucking knew, yeah," Deidara growled, folding his arms crossly.

"Maybe you've got a bad-boy complex," Naruto teased, jabbing the other blonde in the cheek with a playful grin, "Remember Sasori? And wasn't Tobi the leader of a gang?"

"Shut up, yeah," Deidara complained, batting his friend's hand away, "Is Itachi annoyed that I didn't bring his coffee?"

" –Nah, he just sent Sasuke to do it," Naruto chuckled gleefully, "And stuck him with stool samples today since I had to run all the daily maintenance and bleach the entire place…It wouldn't have been so bad if I had company, but someone –" he looked pointedly at Deidara,
" –Was probably too busy recovering from having his ass pounded." The long-haired blonde glowered at Naruto, and stalked over to the radio to turn on some music.

A while later, Sasuke returned bearing four takeaway coffee cups and looking rather unimpressed about it. Wordlessly, but with a glare at Deidara for being late, he headed over and handed Itachi his morning coffee (which Itachi accepted very gratefully) before returning to the lab.

"We're not even meant to be drinking in here," he reminded them flatly as he placed the cups down on the bench beside their lockers, "We have a staff room for a reason."

" –Relax; I just cleaned everything; it's not like we're going to catch something," Naruto snorted, taking a sip of his and realising that it was cinnamon and chocolate; just the way he liked it, "Thanks Sasuke; I almost feel bad for getting Itachi to make you do gastrointestinal plates today!" Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at this news, but he just glared and took his coffee out to their little staff room to stick to basic laboratory guidelines.

It was about eleven am by the time Hidan actually made an appearance –and they could hear him coming for about a floor. Hidan had a nasty habit of swearing too loudly and too frequently, and also never seemed to have his ID card on him –which left him hollering constantly for someone to 'open the fucking door' for him.

The lab doors swung open dramatically as the tall, broad, platinum-haired man strode on in as though he owned the place.

"Hidan; if you're late again, I might have to fire you," Itachi remarked from his office, though he sounded amused.

" –Fuck off, Itachi; you've been threatening to get rid of me for fucking years!" Hidan drawled, stalking over to their lockers and flipping his middle finger at his boss, "Oh, by the way blondie, I left my ID at your place last night; you mind bringing that down tomorrow?"

"Sure," Deidara remarked from between gritted teeth. Naruto chuckled as Hidan, having thrown his things into his locker, came over to the annoyed blonde and wrapped his arms around him, sucking fiercely at the skin on his neck. Deidara tried to resist for a moment, but an aroused whimper escaped from him before he managed to push Hidan away.

"Hidan, we're at work!" Deidara snapped, only to have the bigger man press his lips against his forcefully; tongue instantly delving into the blonde's aghast mouth and ravaging it ferociously. Deidara let out a throaty moan as Hidan ran a massive hand through his loose, blonde hair.

"Hidan, would you refrain from being so unsanitary?" Sasuke inquired irritably from over where he was looking through a microscope across the other side of the room, "The two of you sound disgusting."

"You should hear him with my cock up his ass," Hidan smirked crudely, pulling away and leaving Deidara molested and breathless, "He's fucking dirty, all right…" Deidara instantly flushed bright red and crossly elbowed Hidan away from him, "Oh come on, blondie, I was just making fun –"

"You're an asshole, yeah," Deidara sniffed, spinning around and pulling out a fresh agar plate to start plating some more samples.

" –Naruto, will you kindly change this ridiculous music?" Sasuke complained in a flat tone, still not looking over at them –annoyed about being placed at the gastrointestinal bench.

"Bite me," Naruto snapped back, "I did the maintenance; I choose the music; that's the deal."

"There was no such deal ever made," Sasuke growled flatly as Hidan chuckled and headed over to Itachi's office as blonde and raven began to trade insults; Naruto growing ever more annoyed and Sasuke obviously feeling rather superior at getting a rise out of him.

Itachi looked up as Hidan shut the door to his office and came over to sit on the desk and look out through the window to where Naruto was obviously threatening something that looked like it involved taking the stool samples on Sasuke's bench and shoving them in his face.

" –So; I take it Sasuke hasn't fucked Naruto yet?" Hidan drawled casually.

"I take it you still haven't consented to be Deidara's boyfriend," Itachi replied back quickly, without even pausing in his writing.

" –Tch, like I want a fucking boyfriend," Hidan scoffed, "I can't be tamed, 'Tachi; the life of commitment isn't for me." Itachi rolled his eyes dramatically, but didn't look up from his work.

"Well, if you must continue on using Deidara for sex; make sure it doesn't interfere with your work schedule," Itachi reminded him, "Tsunade doesn't accept sex as an acceptable reason for being late."

"Tsunade can suck a cock," Hidan shrugged.

" –You say that, but I know you're terrified of her," Itachi chuckled in amusement, "And on the topic of Sasuke and Naruto; you have got to stop saying that, because one day they're going to hear you."

"Maybe they should," Hidan snorted, folding his arms and watching with a wicked grin as Naruto rose from his seat and stormed across the lab to jab a finger at Sasuke's chest rather aggressively, "…It might cut down the sexual tension if they realised that the reason that they can't get along is because they actually wanted to fuck each other's brains out."

"Ever thought that the reason they can't get along is because they genuinely don't like each other?" Itachi inquired with a raised eyebrow before chuckling to himself, "I'm sorry; I couldn't say that with a straight face." Hidan cackled gleefully and clapped Itachi on the shoulder, "Oh, and Hidan, we've got a new co-worker starting today; and I feel like it's not a good first impression if you molest him. It'd be nice if I could go a week without handling a sexual harassment complaint and a pissy Deidara."

"My cock wants what it wants," Hidan shrugged with a smirk, as if to say he couldn't help it.

"Get back to work," Itachi chuckled, waving Hidan from his office with a hand, "Or rather; do some work for once?"

"Fuck you," Hidan grinned good-naturedly before getting up from Itachi's desk and heading back out into the lab where Deidara had managed to pull the stool samples from Naruto's hands and keep them away from him. Hidan immediately grabbed Naruto, hoisted him over his shoulder and physically moved him all the way across the lab.

"Don't make me send you for a fucking time out," Hidan grinned, chucking Naruto down onto a chair with an ungainly thump, "Itachi endorses it, you know."

"…Why does Sasuke never get sent for a time out…" Naruto complained crossly, folding his arms and looking out through the lab doors to where there was an empty supply closet designed almost specifically for containing Naruto when he got a little hot-headed.

" –Because he never threatens to throw shit at someone," Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes and wandering over to fetch his lab coat. Deidara sniggered as Naruto looked thoroughly unimpressed. Sasuke smirked and proceeded with his allocated job.

It was while they were all settling back to work that there was a knock on the door. The four of them looked over to see a tall, slender man with long brown hair and pale grey eyes standing there in a white, pinstripe shirt and black pants. His ID card was hanging around his neck.

"Can I help you?" Naruto inquired, since he was closest.

"I'm looking for Itachi Uchiha?" the man remarked in a smooth, haughty voice, "I've been told he is who I report to?"

"Oh, you must be the new guy!" Naruto exclaimed in excitement, instantly getting up and discarding his lab coat, "Hyuuga, right?"

"Neji," the man replied, cringing a little as his hand was vigorously pumped by the over-excited blonde, "Yes; I start today."

"Good, good," Naruto remarked, looking over his shoulder and discovering that Itachi was on the phone, "Itachi's busy but I'll show you around the place in a sec –" Neji followed him over to the benches, where Deidara was busy setting up a scan to identify a strain of bacteria.

" –This is Deidara, by the way," he introduced, obviously having forgotten he hadn't given his own name, "Dei, this is Neji." Deidara looked up, pulled a glove off and held it out for a shake. Hidan just so happened to look up at that point in time and did a double take when he saw the brunette man standing nearby.

" –If that isn't a fucking damn fine ass, I don't know what is," he announced with a loud whistle, Neji's eyes instantly turning to face him in horror, "Dude; which way do you swing?"

"Excuse me?" Neji appeared as if he was hoping he'd misheard.

" –Coz if you're gay I'm fucking totally down with nailing you –" Hidan continued casually, "Although if you're straight, I reckon I could change that –"

"Is this some kind of joke?" Neji commented icily, turning to face Naruto, who glared over at the other man.

" –Hidan, I'm pretty sure Itachi gave you the sexual harassment talk," he remarked flatly.

"Hey; I didn't even touch him," Hidan complained, "Although I'd like to," he added thoughtfully.

" –Don't listen to him; he's harmless," Naruto assured his new co-worker, who was eyeing Hidan with a great deal of distaste.

"I wouldn't say he's harmless," Deidara grumbled, noting a twinge of pain run up his spine as he shifted in his seat. Naruto chuckled as Neji raised a very confused eyebrow.

" –Dei's just jealous that Hidan's paying attention to you instead of him," he explained casually, "They're kind of fucking."

"I'd say we're completely fucking," Hidan corrected with a chuckle –to which Deidara responded with, "Stop being such an asshole, yeah?"

Neji's face remained in a solid deadpan as Naruto started fishing around in his lab coat for his ID card, "Dei, have you seen my ID anywhere?"

" –Maybe you should keep track of your things better, moron," Sasuke snorted superiorly from across the room.

"Stay out of this, you bastard," Naruto snapped crossly, turning the pockets of his lab coat inside out and not discovering it.

" –Maybe if you actually used your eyes, you'd notice that it's on the floor," the raven sneered.

"You don't have to be such an asshole about it –" Naruto growled back, stooping to snatch it from the ground.

" –You should probably sterilise that –"

"Look, Sasuke; I didn't ask for your know-it-all opinion…" Of course, this just sparked off yet another argument in which Naruto completely forgot about his ID card and proceeded to storm across the lab and berate Sasuke for always interfering and being so stuck up about protocol and health regulations. Deidara sighed dramatically and got up from his chair.

" –I'll show you around, yeah," he offered as Neji turned his gaze over to where Sasuke was commenting on Naruto's lack of intelligence and inability to follow instruction, "Don't worry, Sasuke and Naruto always do this; they want to fuck each other."

"Excuse me?"

" –Oh, but don't say that out loud," Deidara informed him seriously, "They're the only ones that don't know it yet." Neji just stared at him blankly, unable to quite comprehend what was going on and if he was actually expected to work here. Deidara pulled off his lab coat as Hidan traipsed over to Itachi's office.

Hidan let out a low whistle as he closed the door behind him. Itachi looked up in time to lock eyes with an incredibly gorgeous brunette through the window.

"Who is that?" Itachi queried as he finished his phone call and hung up.

"New guy," Hidan replied, licking his lips, " –Said his name was Neji Hyuuga, I think." Itachi watched the way Hidan's eyes roved across the brunette's body lustfully.

" –No, I know that look, Hidan," Itachi scolded, "We've been through this before! You are already having incredibly regular sex with Deidara; and things went very badly when you slept with Sai –he quit; and we had to get a restraining order against Ino when we fired her because she started stalking you –"

"…Oh, I see what this is about," Hidan smirked, tapping the Uchiha's nose knowingly, "Got a bit of a taste for brunettes, do we, 'Tachi?"

"Nothing of the sort," Itachi protested defensively, "And I would never get involved with a co-worker! It's inadvisable."

"Oh come on," he drawled, "When was the last time you had a fuck? And if you don't go for that fucking sweet piece of ass, I will."

"I wish you would stop objectifying our co-workers," Itachi sighed heavily, facepalming.

"I'll send him in when he and blondie get back," Hidan grinned, clapping Itachi on the shoulder and adding, "…He's even prettier up close." With a sly wink, the bigger man got up and stalked from the office, chuckling as he did so, leaving Itachi to watch the newcomer leave with interest. He had to admit that it was a while since he'd been attracted to someone at first glance; and at least through the window the man did look rather attractive. Whether or not he was gay was another matter entirely, but judging by the delicious sheen of that luscious hair and his impeccable dress sense, Itachi thought he stood a chance.

"Neji Hyuuga, hmm?" Itachi murmured to himself with a raised eyebrow as Hidan gave him a thumbs up from through the window as Neji departed with Deidara for a tour, "…Interesting."

I love perverted, douchebag Hidan! But poor Deidara! And Itachi's maybe got an eye on a certain Hyuuga? Tune in next time to see how everything develops! Dem Reviews :)

xx K