Lena: Alright, okay, okay, I've finally updated! :D I'm super sorry it took so long…I just want you to know that I'm never abandoning any of my fanfics! I'll definitely update them, it'll just take some…time you know? ^_^"

Oh, and I didn't really proofread this… ^^! I hope there aren't any major typos…forgive me if there are though. XD

Anyways, you've all been waiting~

"Uwaaa! Mama, look! Look at all the flowers!" Kiyomi exclaimed, jumping up and down with a finger pointing at the many trees in the park ahead of us.

"They're sakura trees," Tsukiko explained, a slight smile visible on her face. She was walking beside her father, one hand grabbing his shirt and the other holding my daughter's.

"It's so pretty!"

As we tried to catch up with the children, mainly Kiyomi dragging Tsukiko along, and called for them to wait and not get lost, I smiled and took in the view as well. Sakura petals were raining down from the hundreds of trees lining the path, showering the many visitors with flakes of pink. I could see my daughter gazing up at the branches in wonder, like the flowers held some sort of magical power.

"I think this is a good place to put our things down," Tadase said as we drew near a wooden table, already going to help Nadeshiko unpack.

I nodded and went to help as well.

When we were taking out the lunch boxes, I heard a few giggles behind me and saw Kiyomi lying on the ground, a large grin on her face. She picked up a handful of petals and threw them in the air above her. Tsukiko looked a little shy and embarrassed when she was asked to join the brunette, but Ikuto walked up to her and urged her on, ruffling her hair.

I immediately felt myself smile at his fatherly actions. He wasn't a bad guy. No, not at all. He was just a man who probably still lingered in the past, an unforgettable past that I didn't need to know the details of. To have your spouse leave you was a tragic thing. I didn't think I could ever get over it if it happened to me.

"Whoa, that's amazing Nadeshiko! How long did it take you to make this?"

I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts and turned to see what Tadase and Nadeshiko were talking about, and then I noticed the crazily large amount of food set on the table, my eyes widening in awe.

"Nadeshiko, this is way too much for six people! When did you even make all this?" I asked, scanning the many lunch boxes. "Oh, isn't this one really complicated to make? I think I tried to make it once, right Tadase?"

"I don't even remember." He laughed. "It looks good though."

"Ikuto made that one," she told us, smiling. "He's a really good cook actually, he made this one, and that one…" The dark haired women proceeded to point at a couple of dishes while I tried to relax my stiffened body.

They're common dishes, a lot of people make them.

And yet the fact that I recognized everything that was pointed out proved that it probably wasn't a coincidence. It was quite normal for me to have tried Ikuto's cooking back then though, I told myself. I could easily imagine the three of us—Kukai, Ikuto, and I—eating together.

"Wow, he really is," I said.

"You must've tried it before at least a couple of times, right Amu?" she asked. "It tastes as good as it looks!"

I forced a laugh at the comment and Tadase and I caught each other's eye, a guilty look being found within both. Nadeshiko needed to know about this at some point, I just didn't know when to bring it up. Did I even need to bring it up? Maybe things would just go fine if I forgot about it.

Then again, maybe Ikuto had already told her about it.

"Girls, we're having lunch now!" the purple haired women called. "Ikuto, you come too."

When I turned to see where the blue haired man was, I saw that he had been leaning against the trunk of a large sakura tree, watching the children laugh and play on the grass. He soon started walking in our direction, calling both his and my daughter once more.

As we all settled down and got the children quiet and eating, Nadeshiko spoke.

"How have you two been doing lately?" she asked Tadase and I. "To be honest, I was a little surprised when I heard you were moving back to Asahikawa. Ikuto told me Amu was eager to leave this place after she graduated." The purple haired woman laughed, seeming to be oblivious to the fact that the three of us exchanged shocked and awkward glances.

"Ah, right. I went to university here, didn't I?" I laughed nervously. "It completely slipped my mind."

"Really?" Tadase looked surprised. "You never even mentioned it to me, Amu."

I cocked my head to the side. So Tadase really didn't know anything? Or was this just an act for Nadeshiko? But then again, he would've never suggested to move here if he had known. He wouldn't bring me to a city where I had lived in the past to make new memories.

Yet my husband knew something, I was sure of it. I could sense the strange atmosphere between him and Ikuto even now as they sat across from each other. Despite the fact that they were both busy helping their daughters, I caught the occasional, wary glances they took at each other, as well as at me.

The atmosphere was growing awkward, and in an attempt to start a conversation, I suddenly found myself asking, "So how did you and Ikuto meet, Nadeshiko? You two just seem really close and all."

It's a normal question Amu, a very normal question… was what I kept telling myself. And it probably was, I was just thinking too much. I couldn't even stop the glimpses of Ikuto I tried to take to see if he was looking at me strangely. But no, he was busy talking to Tsukiko, proving the point the voice inside me was trying to make.

"How I met Ikuto…That was a really long time ago, actually," Nadeshiko said, staring at a sakura branch off to the side as if she was searching for a distant memory. "I think…I think it was at a park actually. At night during the wintertime. He and Tsukiko were just standing out in the open," she explained. Then, she leaned in closer to me and started to whisper, "They looked really happy, especially Ikuto. I didn't know what was going on, father and daughter standing outside in the cold and snow with huge smiles on their faces."

I rose an eyebrow. That was strange.

"And then I met him again when Nagihiko introduced him to me."

"Ah, I see." I nodded. A part of me wanted to ask why they were living together, but I didn't want to ask too many questions in fear of causing suspicion.

"How did you and Tadase meet?"

I froze.

What was I supposed to tell her?

When I turned to look at Tadase for help, I realized that he was no longer in his seat beside me. Confused, I looked the other way, pass Nadeshiko, but didn't find him either. I was thankful for the opportunity to not answer her question, though, and instead asked where my husband had gone.

"Mama," Kiyomi said as she tugged on my shirt, trying to get my attention. She then pointed to a figure standing under a sakura tree, I figure I immediately recognized as Tadase. He looked to be holding a cellphone to his ear.

When I turned back to face Nadeshiko, I saw that she was still watching me waiting patiently for an answer to the question I had tried to avoid earlier.

"H-How did we meet, huh?" I repeated weakly. "Actually…" It felt like everyone was watching me, even Ikuto and Tsukiko, who I had caught a glimpse of from the corner of my eye.

"I can't remember very well but, I think…" Right then, I tried as hard as I could to remember something, anything. I tried the hardest I had ever tried to reach even the tiniest bit of a memory. It was right there, right in front of me, only about an inch or so away from my grasp. Why couldn't I reach it?

But then, suddenly, came a sentence, a single sentence that made an immense amount of emotion well up inside me.

"It's going to be okay."

Who? Who was saying that? Was it me?

"I'm here, I'm here for you, Amu."

No, not me. Those words…had Tadase spoken them? Or was it someone else?

"Amu?" Nadeshiko's worried voice brought me back to reality and I quickly replied.

"Yes, what?"

"Are you okay? You seemed a little distracted."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I assured her. "I was just…thinking about the past, you know? I guess I just got too caught up in those memories."

A memory. A small speck of a memory was here, it was finally back. They were just a few words, but those few words brought both pain and relief in my chest. I knew they were important words, words that had possibly done something significant in my life.

But who? Who was saying those words to me?

I wanted so badly to lose myself in the depths of my mind again, but this wasn't a good time. I could only hope that it allowed me access when I did find a good time.

"I..." As I looked at Nadeshiko's confused gaze, I realized that with all that remembering, I still hadn't found an answer to her question yet. With no other choice, I confessed, "I don't remember."

My words were followed by another even more confused look along with surprise. Before I could think of an excuse or let my mouth blabber the truth, Kiyomi spoke.

"Mama, can I go too?"

"What is it, Kiyomi?" I asked, confused by her words.

"Tsukiko's going to the bathroom," she explained, gesturing to the purple haired girl who was waiting as she stood by her father.

"Oh of course! I'll go with you, Kiyomi." I then looked at Ikuto. I didn't want to go with him. He couldn't even enter the actual restroom, anyway. "I'll take both of them, you can stay here," I told the man. He looked like he was going to protest, but he probably understood why there was no point in him going and instead gave a nod, mumbling a thanks.

"Come on, Tsukiko," I said when she seemed to be lingering by her father. Ikuto whispered something in her ear, and the girl suddenly perked up. They exchanged a couple of words before she walked towards us a smile on her face.

What did he say?

"The restrooms are over there," Ikuto told me, pointing at a building on the other side of the park. I gave a nod and a quick smile before taking the girls with me.

The walk was more silent than I had thought it would be. Kiyomi had tried to come up with things to talk about, but even she ran out of ideas later on, and every time there was a while of silence, I'd try to think of a way to ask Tsukiko what her father had told her, but Kiyomi would start talking again before I could say anything. During the couple of times I had tried to look at the girl, I had found her watching me with large eyes.

After about the third time I saw those blue eyes on me, I spoke.

"Is something wrong, Tsukiko?"

She quickly turned away, mumbling something I couldn't hear.

"What is it?" I asked again, leaning in closer to her while Kiyomi watched in confusion. "Is it about what your dad said before we left?" Was that a stupid way to ask the question?

Thankfully, it seemed that I was right and Tsukiko turned to me with a shy smile.

"Yeah, it is. It was about my mom," she said.

I felt myself stop walking for a moment, but quickly regained my composure. About her mother? How did that relate to me?

"Ah was it?"

"He said that you were my mom's friend. That you two were really good friends. Do you know her? Anything about her?"

"Eh? Do you know her name?" I asked, despite that fact that I wouldn't be able to answer her question whether I knew or not. And yet I could ask someone about her, maybe even find her so she could give me details on my past.

Tsukiko slowly shook her head, saying that her papa never told her.

She had been my best friend, so why wasn't she here with me now? More importantly, what had I done to make Ikuto hate me so much? Had I ruined their relationship somehow? But ruining my best friend's relationship…what kind of person was I before the accident?

No, the most important question right now was—who was she?

When the girls and I got back, I found Nadeshiko running towards me in worry.

"Oh Amu, Ikuto told me everything! I'm so sorry, I didn't know!"

I was too shocked by her actions to answer at first, so I looked towards Ikuto for an explanation. He only looked back at me with that indifferent gaze of his, and so I did the only thing I could do. "What are you talking about Nadeshiko?" I asked.

"The accident!" she whispered.

My eyes widened with realization.

"O-Oh, its fine really. It's already been a year or so now, I'm fine," I assured. "And I'm making new memories here. Those old ones…I don't think I need them. It's only eight years, right?"

"Nonsense." Nadeshiko turned to Ikuto. "You were there during her years of university right? Fill her in on some things." It sounded almost like a demand, and his eyes widened at the order.

I couldn't help but feel a bit of hope appear in my chest. Was this my chance?

Not even close, I told myself as I heard the man's reply.

"Not a whole lot happened, and I was studying abroad for two of those years, remember?" he told Nadeshiko. "It's not like university was anything important. She has a husband and she remembers him, her daughter too, isn't that enough?"

I was a little taken aback at his answer and thought about it myself. Yes, it was enough wasn't it? To have my husband and daughter staying with me and helping me recover from the accident was enough, wasn't it?

"I-Its really fine Nadeshiko," I repeated.

But despite what I had, I wanted more. My curiosity was growing with each small bit of information I received and I knew there was no way I could just abandon my old memories. Maybe I was being selfish, but how was one supposed to hold back and not want to find out about their past? Was I strange in that sense?

I heard Nadeshiko sigh in frustration.

"It must've been so horrible, I'm amazed that you're completely fine about everything," she said. "Aren't you curious about what happened before though?"

Yes.

"Well, isn't it best if I not remember? The doctor said something about it being dangerous if I remembered too much or something," I lied. "I don't want to take a risk like that."

"You can just remember little by little then!" The dark haired woman smiled.

I smiled back, although I wasn't sure why.

Soon, Tadase finally got back saying he had good news and announced that he had gotten a job. We were to move to an apartment in a few weeks, he had told Kiyomi and I, which had gotten our daughter laughing and cheering. I was genuinely happy as well. Living at Nadeshiko's place wasn't bad, yet an apartment of your own was always better.

As Nadeshiko was giving her congratulations, I caught a blur of blue from the corner of my eye and turned to realize that I was being watched. I started to panic for a second, Ikuto's hard stare scaring me. What was he trying to do?

Kukai. Kukai was who I needed to contact. He had been my friend during university and he had probably been as close to me as Ikuto had been. I couldn't help but feel stupid. Why hadn't I tried to call him earlier? He could definitely give information, maybe even fill me in on all the details during university.

Kiyomi suddenly stirred in her sleep beside me. We had just gotten back from the picnic and my daughter had been too tired to do anything else so I let her take a nap. The little girl had insisted that I take a nap with her, and so I was now lying idle beside Kiyomi on the bed. Tadase was out to see his new office building, and Ikuto and Tsukiko were out as well, doing something I didn't know and didn't really bother to care about. My mind was on what Tsukiko had told me at the park.

Kukai would know, wouldn't he?

With my cellphone on the nightstand beside me, as well as with nothing to do, I couldn't help but want to call him now.

I picked up the device, tapping the phone icon, but then looked at my daughter sleeping beside me. I didn't want to wake her up.

Ever so slowly, I got myself off the large bed and stepped outside, leaving the door slightly ajar. The hallway was empty so I figured I could make the call here and hovered my finger over the number pad, only to realize I had one problem.

I didn't have Kukai's phone number.

I wanted to groan in frustration but supressed the urge to do so, as I didn't want to wake Kiyomi. Instead, I flipped through the contacts on my phone to see if I possibly had him there. That was when I saw Utau's name.

The first thing that came to my mind was to ask her for his phone number, or even ask if I could talk to him, but as I thought about it, it seemed strange. I didn't want to cause any suspicion and to have to explain the whole story of the accident to two more people. Too many people knew already, and the matter was private. I deeply regretted telling Ikuto, I didn't even know why I did it—the words just came tumbling out of my mouth before I even knew what was happening.

I couldn't call anyone right now, then. I had to figure things out myself or just accept the fact that those memories were never coming back.

"Mama?"

I turned to see Kiyomi by the doorway, rubbing her eyes. She must've just woken up.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you, Kiyomi?"

The girl shook her head. "I woke up on my own. I don't need any more sleep." She then turned to look down the hallway. "Where's papa?"

"Papa went to see the place he'll be working at from now on," I tried to explain as simply as possible. "He'll be back soon, don't worry."

"Mm." She nodded. "Can I get some water, mama? I'm thirsty."

"Oh, okay. Let's go to the kitchen, then."

Kiyomi agreed with a bunch of enthusiasm and ran towards the said place. When I caught up with her, I saw that she was already trying to reach for a glass in the cupboard. Seeing her dangerous position on the counter and the wobbling glass, I quickly ran to her side to help her get down, then proceeded to grab a plastic cup instead.

As I was filling the cup with water, my daughter spoke.

"Nee, mama? Can we go somewhere fun?"

"Didn't we just get bac from a picnic, Kiyomi?" I set her water on the table and she cupped both her hands around it. "Besides, it's pretty late right now, isn't it?" Looking at the clock on the microwave, I saw that it was nearing five o'clock. "It's almost dinnertime."

"Aw, but there are more parks here, aren't there?" She pouted.

Her words reminded me of the park I had noticed on the website this morning, and I told her to wait as I quickly grabbed my phone and searched up the name that was clear in my mind. When I searched for directions, I realized that it was no more than a ten minute drive there.

"Actually, Kiyomi, why don't we go to another park? It's near this place so it won't take too long," I offered. My words were followed by cheers from the girl and she quickly finished her water, dragging me to the door.

"Let's go now!" she exclaimed, already putting on her shoes.

I laughed at her impatience, slipping into my flats.

"Alright, alright, let's go."

Lena: And there you have it. I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully I can get the next chapter out in a week or so. Its summer after all, and I was super busy the month of July but now I'm just stuck at home for the rest of summer so I hope I can get more updates done! :D I really like this story, and I think I (finally) know where I'm going with the plot. XD

Please R&R! It keeps me motivated and writing! :)