A/N: This is a birthday gift for the lovely whytejigsaw. It's just a sweet little thing, which I hope makes you smile. All the best and I hope you have/had a marvelous birthday! :)

„Marry me."

The water she is drinking gets spurted across the table. She is coughing hard and is almost choking. The man who is sitting opposite her motions her to lift her arms above her head. She quickly follows his advice and finally can breathe again. Her head is all red and her eyes puffy and she allows herself a second to thank the heavens that she didn't die. It would have been the most embarrassing death she could think of.

Marriage proposals: 1

Embarrassments: 1

After she ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her face not very lady-like with her napkin, she cautiously looks up again.

"Sorry, what?"

"You heard me…obviously."

He is dapping his expensive deep red shirt with a napkin. She spurted water on his shirt. If her cheeks weren't flushed already, they would definitely flush now. She tries very hard to process what he had asked, or better said commanded, but her brain is failing miserably.

"I don't understand. Is this for a case or something?"

She gasps and leans over the table, whispering.

"Are we on a case right now and I'm your decoy?"

She can't help but being excited about that. She always wanted to go on a case with him.

His lips twitch in amusement at the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No."

She leans back again, clearly disappointed for a second. Then her brows take their confused furrowed position again.

"Then what…?"

He looks at her intently. She finally understands. And is back to not breathing.

She can't help but stare at him, her mouth hanging open, her brain overwhelmed with data. Every single thought, dream and dirty fantasy she ever had involving her marrying this beautiful man is crossing her mind at the same time and is paralyzing her body functions.

Just when her face is turning blue, he speaks up.

"Breathe!"

This shrieks her right out of her helpless state and she desperately sucks in some air soundly, causing some people at the nearby table to turn their heads.

Embarrassments: 2

Avoiding their annoyed glances, she uses the napkin to fan air at her hot face.

"You act as if I have asked you to kill someone", he comments dryly on her ridiculous behavior.

"You might as well have", she mutters and very carefully sips her water.

"Why is this coming as such a shock to you?" he asks, clearly upset. "Why else would I have invited you to dinner?"

"Eh, because I saved your bloody life and you wanted to say thank you?" she shoots back.

Witty replies: 1

"Please." He waves that aside with a bored movement of his hand. She is getting angry.

"You're right. Peanuts! I just risked my entire career for you, not to mention the fact that I had to lie to everyone we love for almost three years. What was I thinking?"

She slaps her forehead and instantly regrets it because of the pain that's shooting through her head.

"Stop postponing the inevitable and just answer me."

Always so impatient, that man.

"How can I possibly answer that right now? I came here in good faith, thinking we would have a lovely dinner – well, as lovely as it can get with you participating –, having no clue whatsoever that you would drop this massive bomb on me!"

He looks at her as if she is the lunatic at this table.

"No clue whatsoever? How is that possible after all I did?!"

"What did you do?"

One more second he looks at her in utter disbelief.

"I showered you with signs of my affection."

She snorted. She couldn't help herself. Him saying that was just too ridiculous. She tries to stifle her laugh so hard, snorting several times, that she isn't even aware of the glares that are thrown into her direction.

Embarrassments without even noticing: 1

She is only aware of his glare.

"I'm sorry", she says through a giggle.

"It's just…it's like Mycroft talking about the cuteness of kittens."

"How can you bring up my brother right now?"

He is totally upset, including shifting in his seat.

"Not good?" she asks.

Impersonations: 1

He doesn't laugh.

She finally calms down, clears her throat and folds her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry. I just don't…I mean, I've never…What signs of affection?" she asks, genuinely confused.

"You want me to list them?"

"I think it would help, yes."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I initiate conversations when I'm at Bart's. I text you back when you text me results. I invited you over to 221b several times…"

"…to do experiments!" she throws in.

"Nevertheless. Almost every free time I had in the last two months I have spent with you. I consult you on my cases…"

"…but you have done that before."

"But I didn't say 'please', did I?"

She blinks several times.

"That's it?"

"Yes."

She gapes at him for a second.

"So, basically you're saying, that you have courted me for two months and now you want to close the deal?"

"Exactly."

She shakes her head.

"And what made you think that it was time for a proposal? Although you never really asked, by the way."

"Because of the way touched my arm last Friday."

There is a big question mark in her face.

"Huh? When?"

"Right before you left."

"You mean when I pushed you out of the way so that I could finally leave the hospital in which you have kept me hostage until 2 am, doing experiments?"

"Now you're getting it."

"I'm not getting anything!"

She rests her elbows on the table and her head in her hands, letting out an exhausted grunt.

"Maybe I'm dreaming…I must be. This feels so surreal. I should pinch myself…"

And so she does. Hard. She yelps. People turn heads once more. She couldn't care less.

Embarrassments: 3

"Your behavior is very inappropriate and actually you're embarrassing me and yourself."

"I'm embarrassing? You're the one who thinks we were in a relationship for the last two months!"

"No. We were in a relationship since that Christmas."

He doesn't need to give more detail. She knows exactly which Christmas.

"WHAT?"

She shrieks. A man at the next table mutters that 'he's had it up to here with that woman'.

Apparently, Sherlock has enough as well and calls over the waiter.

She is still in shock while he pays the bill and takes her hand to help her get up, helps her into her jacket at the exit and leads her outside.

The fresh breeze finally clears her head and she realizes that she is walking down the street, next to him, holding hands. She looks down on their intertwined fingers. They halt when and she looks up at him.

The wind is playing with his curls, making him look even more beautiful. His glasz eyes are fixed on her and a gentle smile spreads on his lips.

Then she slaps him.

The smile dies.

"What the…"

"How dare you! How dare you entering a relationship with me without telling me?! Didn't you see I was heartbroken over you? Didn't you see I could barely hold back tears when you left me that night after the fall? Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you take me in your arms and bloody told me you were mine?! You arse!"

Slapping the man you love: 1

Before he even gets a chance to say something, she storms off. He gapes after her, not understanding her problem at all.

Total sum up of the dinner:

Marriage proposals: 1

Embarrassments: 3

Witty replies: 1

Embarrassments without even noticing: 1

Impersonations: 1

Slapping the man you love: 1

~oOo~

"…And then she slapped me."

Sherlock slouches down in his chair, fingers clawing into the leather. John is sitting opposite him, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief on his face.

"So that is the great story of your proposal…figures."

Sherlock narrows his eyes.

"What?" he hisses.

"You couldn't do it like a normal person, could you? Go down on one knee, hold the ring out to her and just ask her if she would even consider giving her hand to a sociopath. Was that really such an impossible thing for you to do?"

Sherlock only glares. John eyes the still visible handprint on his left cheek and bites on his lip to prevent laughing.

"That woman is impossible", Sherlock mutters after a short silence.

John sees the humiliation and the shock of rejection in his eyes.

"You're really surprised she said no, aren't you?"

"She had no reason whatsoever to reject me. We've been involved for over four years and made me believe that she felt for me."

"Woah woah whoa, slow down the horses. Four years? If you're telling me now that you have been romantically involved with Molly for four years, I will add my handprint to your face."

Sherlock flails with his arms.

"Why does that come as such a surprise to everyone? I declared myself like a million times and yet neither you nor her realized it!"

John blinks and looks at him, putting together the pieces of this puzzle.

"Are you saying she didn't know she was part of that obviously imaginary relationship?"

"Yes."

John's head falls down on his chest and it it's dead silent for a moment. Then laughter fills the living room. John's laughter.

Sherlock is getting laughed at for the second time this evening.

"This is not funny."

John is holding is belly, gasping for air as his laughter is shaking his whole body and makes it impossible to breathe.

Sherlock's glare makes this story even funnier.

"Oh, dear. Sherlock, you're the only man who is able to have a girlfriend without the girl in question even knowing. Why didn't you say anything?" John asks after he finally calms down a little, wiping the tears from his eyes. The Cheshire cat grin remains.

"Why do such things always need to be said? She should have known! I don't bother with people, but I deliberately came to her, talked to her, spent time with her. Why else would I have done these things? And, to be exact, I did tell her she counts and that I trust her! It is her fault that she didn't understand and I shouldn't have been slapped for this!" Sherlock complains and sounds very much like a sulking boy.

John merely shakes his head. He knows, whatever he says, won't get past that thick head of his.

One of the steps squeaks and John turns his head to see the girlfriend-who-didn't-know-she-was-one slowly walks up the stairs, wringing her hands and looking shyly at Sherlock with her big brown eyes. John smiles as she walks in and she gives him a little wave.

She is not moving for a second. Neither is Sherlock. He took up his thinking position.

"Sherlock?"

No reply.

Molly looks at John.

"Is he in his mind palace?"

"He wasn't a second ago."

Molly sighs and steps up to his chair. He is still not looking at her, so she kneels besides him.

"I'm sorry, Sherlock. I overreacted."

She tilts her head to look at him, but he keeps ignoring her. Molly glances over at John, who nods and raises from his chair to leave the room.

As soon as they're alone, she hesitantly rests her hand on his arm. His jaw clenches.

"It was the shock, really. Being asked to be your wife was the last thing I expected to happen tonight…or ever! We have been friends for so long, I didn't notice that your feelings have changed. I am not as good at deduction as you, Sherlock. I am ordinary."

His eyes glance at her for a second. But only a second. Molly didn't miss it, though, and she leans in closer.

"But now that I thought about it, I can see it. I should have known. So, again, I'm really sorry about tonight. Forgive me? I always forgave you."

She tilts her head and tries her sweetest smile. No reaction.

She sighs then, looking at her hand on his arm, gently stroking him.

"I'll leave you alone then. All I came here for anyway was to tell you, that…if you still want to marry me…I would really love to be your wife."

She looks into his eyes which are staring at the kitchen wall.

"I love you, Sherlock. I always loved you. And I always will."

Still, he refuses to move so Molly gets up, thinks for a second and leans in to give him a gentle peck on the cheek. When she wants to lean back, he quickly grabs her hand and she gasps in surprise.

The sulking detective finally looks at her, his eyes capturing hers.

Then she feels a ring being pushed over her finger.

A smile spreads on his face. A smile so warm and happy she had rarely seen on this beautiful face.

She is smiling, too, not believing that this is really happening.

But it gets even better.

Sherlock pulls her onto his lap next, still holding her gaze. Molly giggles and runs her fingers through his silky curls, barely noticing the sparkling diamond ring out of the corners of her eyes.

"You can leave now, John", Sherlock shouts and causes Molly to jump. She turns her head to see the doctor appear in the door.

"Right. Just wanted to make sure you guys get along. Bye now."

"Bye", Molly smiles and turns her attention back to her man, who smells wonderful, by the way.

He is leaning back and wraps his arms around her frame, pulling her close. His eyes roam over her face with boyish interest.

"I'm sorry I slapped you", Molly whispers and strokes his still red cheek.

"You're surprisingly strong for such a small person."

She giggles. Him commenting on her figure doesn't bother her now.

"And you're surprisingly cuddly for a man without a heart."

His hand snakes up from her back to her neck and she shivers.

"I don't want to talk anymore", he whispers and starts pulling her face towards his.

"Agreed. Conversation is really not my area."

He smiles, then he closes his eyes. So does she.

A jolt of electricity runs through her as their lips meet to celebrate their engagement properly.