Dear Journal

It has become increasingly more difficult to continue to work with Granger. This afternoon during a double potions class I found myself staring at her and imagining what the beads of sweat that cascaded down her neck and in between her breasts tasted like. There are strict rules about fraternizing with one's apprentice and I wish to Merlin I had not promised Albus to take on an apprentice after the war. Of the Golden trio she had been the only one to return to continue her education and she had sought me out to be her master. That thought alone has my loins aching and my cock straining against the pleat of my pants. Fuck all that I can continue like this. It has only been a few months since she began her apprenticeship and I fear I will crack and pin her against the potions table ravaging her luscious breasts with my mouth and her cunt with my cock. The only thing that keeps me somehow sane is that I have never pinned anyone to the potions table, hell I haven't pined anyone to anywhere and should she know this I would die of embarrassment. For the tall dark and brooding spy is in fact a big sodding virgin. It's not to say that I haven't had the opportunity. Okay, maybe no one has queue up to the dungeon door looking for extra credit once their studies were done and to say that the revels provided anything except crazy with a side of mad was saying much. My position with the Dark Lord is something that has been greatly exaggerated, to hear the writers at the prophet and the quibbler talk about it, I am a sex magnet in the vein of James Bond, when in reality I am still the same bloke I was when I was 15 albeit with more body hair and a larger cock. Not that I have had the opportunity to show it to anyone. To think I would use the whores of the Alley is saying a lot since most of them are former students, how would that look? I shudder to think.

Granger doesn't make it any easier on me either. She had grown into a beautiful woman with gorgeous breasts and a firm arse I just want to...stop that Severus, it's these thoughts that have made these months unbearable. She has also stopped being the stuck up little swot that she had been while in school. Then again there isn't a madman trying to kill her and her friends anymore. She is also out from under the watchful gaze of Molly Weasley who seemed adamant that she marry either the youngest orange menace or one of the double mint twins. Alas the girl had shown moxie when she declared that she didn't want to marry the orange menace or the bopsie twins but instead wanted to take a year off and then return to apprentice under me. I often imagine her apprenticing under me, over me, on her hands and knees in front of me. Focus man...as I was saying, she has made it hard for me (on more occasions than I can count) her constant stares, her soft touches to my arm and shoulder. No one ever touches me except her! Even Minerva keeps her distance from me yet Granger goes out of her way to always touch me. The fact that we almost live like flat mates doesn't help either. Since she is my apprentice I must arrange for her room and board so the most logical suggestions (that she made of course) was that she move into the dungeons into an adjacent set of quarters that connected via our bath room. At first it seemed okay, but soon enough she started leaving the door to the bathroom that connected to my room slightly open and I could make out her silhouette behind the shower curtain, water cascading over her, her soft voice humming or singing, the stead driving me mad with need. I found that wanking off in my quarters was almost impossible since she was almost always around. Finding the Come and Go room (which to say that I have made use of that name on more than one occasion might get you some house points) the only place I could go to take the matter in hand while I imagined the benefits of being a shower loofah.

I can hear her humming in her room now. Class ended a few hours ago and I did not make it to the head table for dinner. She had bought down a plate for me with some tea. Her smiling face makes it so very difficult for me to look away, I am a fool. Her last words before she left were "Is there anything you need, Professor?" I find I cannot answer; my voice will give me away, so I shake my head. It almost looks like she is disappointed...maybe it is what I want to see. She would never want me.

SS