Big Kisses
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or anything.
Author's note: Please review, thank you!
Summary: Hamish walks in on his parents snogging; the five year old now has many, many questions that Sherlock and John are going to have to explain to their demanding son.
Influenced by ClassyGirlsWearPearls' "The Birds and the Bees".
Five year old Hamish slowly made his way downstairs, taking the steps one at a time. He had been playing up in his room with his train set, but he'd gotten bored and had decided that he should get his parents to entertain him.
He could hear the television on in the living room so he bounded in to find a sight that was both confusing and worrying for the five year old.
His parents were lying on the sofa, his daddy lying underneath his papa-that was strange, papa is bigger than daddy, isn't he squashing daddy? But that wasn't what was now worrying Hamish. They were… eating?... each other's mouths. Making slurping noises, and Hamish saw his papa's tongue going into his daddy's mouth! And daddy was moaning in… pain? Was he scared he'd be eaten by papa? But… why were they doing that, they loved each other! Why would you want to eat someone's face if you loved them?
"Papa!" Hamish shouted indignantly, feeling he must put a stop to this.
Sherlock and John pulled away sharply at their five year old's shout. John wiped his wet lips and they sat up.
"Bad!" Hamish marched forward and smacked Sherlock's shoulder "We don't eat people, papa! Especially daddy!"
John and Sherlock glanced at each other then both started giggling.
"Oh, darling, papa wasn't eating me." John said at Hamish's confused frown.
"Yes, he was! I saw him put his tongue in your mouth, and you were making eating sounds!" Hamish said crossly.
"Hmm… decent deductions for a five year old, though I am afraid that all of that is wrong, but I suppose all of your knowledge would not supply you with the correct answer even if you tried." Sherlock said-more to himself than anybody else.
"Explain yourselves!" Hamish said in a completely Sherlock way, his pout, his frown, his demand for knowledge.
"Alright, calm down and sit between us." John shuffled over and Hamish climbed onto the sofa and sat on either side of his parents, folding his hands in his lap and giving his papa a suspicious look before turning to his dad.
"Daddy, are you okay?" he asked gently.
"Aww, that's so kind of you to ask. I'm absolutely fine, darling." John reassured the blonde boy.
"Hamish, I wasn't eating daddy, I promise. You know I would never intentionally hurt daddy." Sherlock said.
Hamish nodded and looked up at his papa with a curious gaze. So what had they been doing?
"I was kissing daddy." Sherlock explained.
Hamish's eyes widened then he scoffed "Papa! That is not what kissing is! Kissing is this!" Hamish reached up and pressed a peck to Sherlock's cheek.
"Quite right, Hamish. But there are many different types of kissing depending on age, moment and relationship." Sherlock explained "Now, age, children kiss as you did just then, chastely-conveying an emotion of love. Kisses like that occur between parent and child, siblings, generally family members. Now, daddy and I are adults, and with adults there are a wider range of types of kisses. Small ones that are chaste, just pecks, but also longer ones-" Hamish cut Sherlock off.
"I know that, papa! You and daddy kiss for long sometimes! But not like what I just saw!" Hamish exclaimed.
"I'm getting there, let me finish." Sherlock said "There are some longer and more… gentle kisses exchanged between two loving adults. But there are some less gentle kisses too, they are more passionate and reserved often for more private moments."
"But that wasn't private, papa! I saw you!" Hamish said.
"We thought it was private because you were playing upstairs, but you came down and we didn't notice you were there, Hay." John said, running his fingers gently through his son's hair, the boy was rather distressed when he didn't understand things, and he was currently quite tense and wouldn't loosen up until he understood, John tried to calm him as much as he could though.
"Quite right, John. It had initially been a private moment between daddy and I. As I said, it depends on the moment too. Now, relationship. A kiss between a parent and child is chaste and short, conveying paternal love. A kiss between husbands, or husband and wife, or wives, of boyfriends and girlfriends, all adults, is often less chaste, longer, and not necessarily gentle. But more close." Sherlock attempted to explain "Do you understand?"
"Mmmm… yes. You and daddy do big big kisses because you're old and married. And me and you do little kisses because we're father and child. Ummm… what about when I get older?" Hamish asked.
"Well, you'll still kiss daddy and I chastely and shortly, but if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, or wife or husband, then you could kiss them with big big kisses, but only when you're much bigger." Sherlock said.
"Oh… okay! But papa…" Hamish said "Why did you put your tongue in daddy's mouth?" Hamish tilted his head to the side and Sherlock saw John blush and he couldn't help but smirk.
"Because that's sometimes what big people kisses can involve." Sherlock said.
"But why? Isn't it all slimy? And I'd be careful, daddy hasn't brushed his teeth since this morning, he might have smelly breath." Hamish said seriously and Sherlock chuckled "Don't you worry, I'm sure daddy's breath is fine. And you'll understand when you're older as to why it holds appeal. Now, what did you originally come down here to do?" Sherlock asked.
"I came down to see if you'd play a game with me! Can we all play connect 4?" Hamish asked.
"That's a 2 player game." John said.
"Well it can be me and you versus papa?" Hamish suggested.
"Good idea!" Sherlock ruffled Hamish's hair and went to get the game.
John stood and followed him to the games box.
"That was uncomfortable." John whispered as he assisted Sherlock in finding the game.
"It could have been worse. At least he has been taught about such things in a safe and open-minded environment. He'll slowly find more and more out about the world, and it's our duty to explain things to him, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us." Sherlock mumbled as he got the game out.
"I know, and you did brilliantly, I must add." John said, placing a hand on Sherlock's back and rubbing gentle but firm circles there.
Sherlock smiled proudly "Thank you."
"You're welcome." John grinned "But aww, he was so worried for me, it was very sweet." John looked over to where his son was sat on the floor sucking his thumb and watching the television screen.
"He is sweet." Sherlock said fondly.
"Thumb out of your mouth, Hamish!" John called over to Hamish gently. Hamish took his thumb out but had his fist in the same position, his little thumb sticking out, he rested his hand on his chest and continued to watch the telly. They were trying to get him out of the habit of thumb-sucking and so far he was doing quite well.
"Now, how about some Connect 4?" Sherlock went over and set it up in front of his son while John turned the television off and sat beside Hamish.
"Yay!" Hamish smiled and clapped his hands cheerfully.