Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke and the characters~~

Smiling Sunshine

(Kise POV)

I forcefully open my eyes.

My hands hang in mid-air, an action to catch on my precious…

My eyes widen, desperately breath in and out, panting as my heart hardly even stop pumping against my ribcage like it could burst out any moment. I felt it. My heart was screaming in madness, momentary traumatized by the last scene appear in my head… one of the scenario I would never want it to turn into reality. I couldn't find my voice back, only lying on the same spot while looking into the darkness, feeling all alone… there never was a thing belong to me. Alone.

"Tetsu-chi…"

The moment I found my way to talk, I can only utter my beloved's name. I can't think much, only him… I'm really weak, aren't I? My head hang low at the thought of that.. Then, I realize. There is damp wetness around my eyes… they are tears, bearing around my vision, but it didn't occur me that I actually cried… it's dark in here. I blink, and the small crystal bead flow along the curve of my cheek. I didn't even bother to wipe it. Let it accompany me in this silent moment of dark, so I would slowly regain my senses …

I wonder how long did I stay here?

I extend my hand to the small table beside me and found the lighter, and lit up the room. My eyes widen at the scene for a moment… did I…
"I… did this…"
a little unsure, but yet I knew I was evoke into full madness last night.
With little source of light, I scan around the room, and bring in the crime scene I made into my eyes like burning memories… bits and bits of last night activities play through my mind as I took in the basement room, stained with mad red everywhere. Small drops of splatter circles on the ceiling, the suppose white wall painted into rain of blood droplets, most of all, the bed, having the bed heading mark with scratches of grave hope to run away, the uneven lines shouted in agony and the sheets dye into madder roses… it look as if a war had broken upon this small space.

"Right."

I let out a light-hearted soft laugh.

"A one-sided war."

This is more like an execution cell.

My hands clench in a tight fist, forcing my slumping mentally exhaust body to straighten up in a sitting position. As I move, I push the being beside me… or I should say former-human. I glance at the human…corpse beside me, pale skin turns blue and drench in dried blood while his lower-half stain with white dry substance. It's definitely a horror scene that I'll scream at the top of my lungs… if it's in the past.

Now I only feel numb, emotionless… nothing much came out from my mind at the sight of a person I murdered.
I really don't feel much. I don't feel sorry yet I don't feel satisfied or accomplished like those murderers.
Those eyes, dim like a faded old pearl, remain wide open and look so shock and hopeless, literally scream "Why?!" at me. Because he touch my angel? I'm not so sure anymore.

I shift a little, make only small effort to move around.

Glancing at the dead man, glancing around the dimly lit room.
Emptiness…
yet I had felt so full.

Not all that full… it's not pleasant enough.
I'm full, full with stench of blood clogging my nasal, full with my desire of blood lust completed, full with my temporary short moments with Tets…Kuroko-chi, in my dream. That should be enough.
But I feel empty.

Spacing out at the dead man beside me, who pass away just like that when he actually have a promising future… Only I know every detail of his death… I reach out and cover his eyes… Not like this would make any difference, I just do it. It's impossible for him to 'rest in peace' with such death, I know… Maybe I do still have some sanity to feel sorry? Not really. There is brief memory on how I touch him, I remember then. And no guilt raise in me remembering all those memories which I found disgust with.

Decide that I really should move on, I grab some tissue from the bedside table and start to clean the patches of blood on my body… when most of the red stains are partly cleared, I drag my whole body out of this basement… out of this torture chamber… Slowly, my feet step on the narrow stairs with rhythmic 'tap…tap…tap…' until I move out from this flight of dark stairs and walk into a different universe. The moment the door that separate me and the light remove, I found myself unable to identify my place. It's like I stay in the dark for too long and someone just push me into a pit of fire all of a sudden. I slam the door close, hands protecting my eye which flooded with fluids as a result of sudden adjustment to bright light.

"This must what demons feel towards Jesus…" I mutter under my breath, as I try to walk out again. I take my time, walk in slow pace into the bright room which is my studio. A few minutes is all it takes for me to gain back my vision in broad daylight. The whole room, painted in hue of sunflowers really contrast with the room I stay a few minutes ago… The grand white piano, small handcrafted pots with artificial flora and a wide open window spreading beautiful scenery of nature… and blazing sunlight.

I am in one of my vacation house in the mountains.

My eyes, half-close, ignore the blazing warm sunlight that burns right into my vision and slowly move to my destination… Right, forget about 'basking in such a warm and cozy morning', I just killed someone.
"I had to rid off the blood that dries on my body…"

One step.

Two step.

More steps.

Until I feel the cold tile floors of the bathroom, I stop.
With mechanical movement, I close the door behind me and turn on the lights and heater… maybe not the heater.
I don't need more 'warmth'.
I remain like a puppet, going on a routine set.
The emptiness came back. Not like it left me before. I always feel empty.

Until I turn on the tap, and the icy cold water splash on me, bring me shivering down my feet, and feel AWAKE.

Bring me back to the harsh reality, how mess up I was and how I mess up myself.

Every nerves and cells jolt against the splashing cold water, pouring down on every inch of my body. I feel much AWAKE. Yes, everything is real and It's not a 'dream in a dream'…

"I don't know anymore…." My voice sound shaken, lost. My vision clouded again, drop of tears rush out, flowing and mix with the cold water, losing warmth instantly.

"Even in dreams…" mutter under my breath, I join my palm together, looking into the small pool of water collecting in both of my palm. And my fading reflection.

"Even in dreams… I can't own him?"

I always knew that, I'm a sick twisted person.
I know the way my emotion work is bringing me endless pit of despair.
But I was made to think like that, no matter in reality or my dreams, they all reflect my epic failures in love life.
Such epic love life… Such idiot theory of love that I have engrave in my soul, knowing it's wrong and feeling it's right at the same time.

As my body slowly begin to feel numb from the running water, beating on me without mercy… skin turning red, my mind went white.

I let out a smile.

Shower by tears, streaming down across my complicated emotions.

Smile, smile for myself. "I'm such a freak now… Is it still possible that I'll let myself close to Kuroko-chi?"
my presence totally defy my way in protecting him, isn't it?

The tile space echo the running tap water and a maniac outburst of laughter…
Laugh.
Laugh for the fact that I feel…

… Feel sorry, sorry for myself.

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(Kuroko POV)

"… Konichiwa, Kirishima here and I'm so sorry that I could not answer your call now. Please leave a voicemail after the 'beep' sound and I'll make sure you receive a reply from me~ Sumimasen-neh~ *BEEP!"

"Kirishima-san. This is my 3rd voicemail since this afternoon. My Laptop broke down this morning so I can't submit our project. I would like to borrow your's that you left in your room… But I need the password. Please contact me as soon as possible. Thank you."

Looking at my phone screen, my eyebrow narrowed an inch on the name flashing on my contact list. It's quite unusual for him to not to pick up his phone…Is the connection in Hokkaido that low or he is too busy that he actually shut off his phone?
Because I never fail to call him before. His smart phone practically stay 'on-call' 24/7 as long as I can remember.
"…" I stare at my phone which i barely use, thinking about my classmate... Now I'll need someone else help. It's 2pm now… I think 'he' is back.

I walk down a floor, just to heard the two voices I recognize for a long time, loud and clear even from the other side of the corridor and... Bickering like old couples as usual.
"Oi, Kagami ! We're eating at Manhattan Fish Market later."
" I said Maji, right?! Who want to waste a Sunday dinner at place like that, Ahomine."

Aomine-kun, like usual. His voice rang through the corridor in a lazy slack off tone, whereas Kagami is like a loud tolling bell that can hit through your eardrums.
" What 'da fuck did you just call me?! Bakagami…" The tan former ace of Touou hiss at the tiger.
"I said Ahomine, kono aho! We have been eating your stupid crayfish this whole week and I need Burgers!" complain Kagami, not even caring about the dangerous low hiss of the black panther. Aomine start shouting while Kagami roar back.
"That's why you are an Idiot! Burgers make you Stupid!"
"No it isn't, Ahomine!"
"It fucking is, Bakagami!"
"No."
"Yes."
"Maji."
"MFM."
"Bitch I say Maji."
"Fuck you, I want my crayfish."

…

I walk near the 'baka+aho' duo, ignoring the intense spark flying around signaling the start of a battle between two… retards.

"…. Konichiwa, Kagami-kun, Aomine-kun."

There was a sudden pause between those two until…

"Gaaaaahhh! …Kuroko/Tetsu !"

…And the two aces shriek and freak out upon my sudden appearance like usual. I wonder if anyone would finally notice me when I walk beside them… especially these two. One had been my 'light' in middle school, and another one spent his three years of high school with me as his 'shadow'…
My thought was disturb, when I was thrown with the tiger's outburst.
"Kuroko! Stop that already! DO you know my heart was going to explode?! Can't 'ya keep your misdirection away for a moment?! God Someday I would really get a heart attack like that! And..."
"Oi, Tetsu. Anything?"
Aomine interrupt Kagami, simply pushing away the furious tigers face and earn himself an intense glare from the tiger.
Aomine ignore him at first but when Kagami jab him real hard on his side waist, he groan in pain and glare back . Soon they forget the world around them and engrave into their own glaring contest… I know my presence is weak. But… they really ignore me fast.

"… Excuse me for interrupting you two… but I want to borrow Kagami-kun for a few minutes, is that fine ?"

"EH? Me? What for?" Kagami broke out from his glare and look at me, question popping out around him, as he look at me with that clueless facial expression.
"I have a favor to ask from you , Kagami-kun… Can I borrow your computer now? Mine couldn't function properly and I have a project to hand in by this week and it's important." I explain.
"Oh…That's easy. Here, let us go in my dorm and I'll on it for you."
Kagami-kun offer a warm smile, as he open his dorm's door. From the corner of my eyes, I notice that Aomine-kun is literally staring at Kagami-kun, fall in trance with the gleaming smile of a certain tiger. My lips curve into a small pleasant curve looking at the tanned ace. Not that I am not aware of his affection for Kagami-kun…
But it's rare to see Aomine-kun fall in daze like a goldfish staring into nothing.
I promise to myself that I will seize my chance to tease him on that… later.
Project come first.

"Kuroko.. are you coming in?"
"Yes… Sorry to bother you today."
"You are still so formal… told you not to go all-polite with me."
"Habits die hard, Kagami-kun."
"Yeah…I suppose…"

I close the door and follow Kagami to his room, leaving the love-struck man behind the doors .

Aomine is still captivate by the smile… Until the hard door slam close in front of him, blocking his vision of the one he likes and awake him from his momentary trance.
"…Oi! You two locked me out! Open the door!"

The shouts and curses of a certain tanned ace went on deaf ears for the phantom player and the tiger ace.

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( Still Kuroko's POV~)

"You help a lot, Arigato gozaimatsu, Kagami-kun." I speak, as I put on my shoes in front of Kagami's dorm door.

"Oh, Kuroko… you don't wanna join us for dinner?" Kagami call out from the kitchen… As oblivious as always, he cheerfully invite me to go eat with him and Aomine.. "I'm cooking, since Aomine was being a jerk and only stick to his crayfish!" While he state that, Kagami-kun glare at Aomine who totally ignore him and staring at the computer screen that… display a website full with pictures of women that dress rather indecent in my opinion… I did consider on taking that invitation, since I know and taste before how good Kagami's cooking is…but one glance from Aomine I know he wants to be alone with said tiger. I'll tolerate and be considerate then…

"Daijoubu. I need to meet up with… Momoi later. Please enjoy your dinner."
"Guess that can't be help." Kagami sigh. "And I thought 3 of us could talk about the upcoming street basket ball competition that we will enter…"
…I don't remember agreeing to participate, Kagami-kun.

" Urusei nah, kagami… you should put your mouth to good use, not nagging like a baa-san." Aomine lazily commented, as a dangerous smirk form on his lips.
… Aomine-kun, please don't make a perverted face while you say that.

I am a little worry for the tiger's sanity now… But I'm not interested in becoming a light bulb between this two...
Never mind… If Aomine tries to harm Kagami, I'm sure he can fight for himself.

Then… "Shitsure shimasu…"
I bid my farewell and the door slowly close before me as I caught a glimpse of Aomine approaching Kagami…
… May you survive, Kagami-kun…

"Now… I should eat too."
I walk back to my dorm to get my wallet that I left in my room, but then, a familiar mob of blonde hair appear at my doorstep. I never expect him to come… "Kise-kun?"
The blonde copy-cat player turn around, his face flush with tint of red, and he smile at me the moment he sees me.
"Kuroko-chi~"
And he clung on me and hug me tight… Although his hugs isn't as tight and suffocating as Momoi's, but it's enough to make me feel uncomfortable.
"Kise-kun, please let go of me…."
"AH! Gomen-ssu, Kuroko-chi!"

He let go of me, and… I steal a glance at his puffy eyes. He cried not long ago, I suppose. And now he is faking a smile to me. I only look at him, waiting for him to speak up of his purpose of visiting me…

"Neh… Kuroko-chi, would you mind to accompany me for a dinner?"

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(Kise POV)

Both of us ate at a simple restaurant. We chat a little about my job and classes in university like always and Kuroko-chi… is being Kuroko-chi like usual. He nods at the statement I made, sometimes a few words of comment. Yep, it is always a pleasant dinner when it's with him. I can't help but feel safe and not alone beside him, I just felt that way whenever I hang around him… It's like he is the only one who can fill the gap in my heart and the only one that treat me with sincerity and kindness… I mean, he does complain a little about my frequent visits, but he never fail to accompany me and lend his ears to me…
My head fill with Kuroko-chi, but somehow, I can't focus on him today. My mind would wander around… to the basement at my vacation house…

"Kise-kun"

I look at the being beside me as I tilt my head a little, asking if there's anything, all the while with a smile plaster on my face. We are walking around now, before we head back to his university.
Kuroko look at me, his eyebrow narrowed a little… not that visible , but consider that it's Kuroko-chi, that consider visible enough.
"… Do you have something to say, Kise-kun?"
"EH? What do you mean-ssu?"
Kuroko avert his gaze and look at the road. "Your fake smile is very obvious today. Your eyes are puffy. And you are more quiet today. So I thought you have some problems." And he look at me again, the slight concern blue eyes shone on me and make my heart jumping about.

That… Obvious?
My mind turn around like a whirl pool. I really want to burst out, telling Kuroko how I actually feel about him, all my bubbling hidden emotions… and what I've done to his classmate.
I pinch myself hard on my wrist, and try to regain my rational.
"Eh… Nandemonai-ssu…" Like hell it's nothing. I look away, smiling like an idiot while I try to escape from that pair of eyes. I fear that I would not be able to bottle up my secrets anymore if I look into that clear sky.
"… Ok. But…Kise-kun, "

"I hate your smiles."

… AH?
"Kuroko-chi?"
"To be blunt, I thinks it's irritating. I hate it." He look at me, his gaze freeze into his stoic expression, the concern disappear like it never shown in his eyes before.
This… is not a dream right?
I pinch my wrist harder and harder. Nop. It hurts. But… Somewhere inside it hurts more.
"… Sooka? Hidoi-ssu, Kuroko-chi…" I make a dramatic weep gesture.

"… Can you stop that?"

I stop my acts, and sees my angel eyes narrowed into a slight 'v' shape. He's irritated. By me.
" Stop all that things."
Now I've really done it… I shift my gaze away… not looking at Kuroko-chi.
" You've always been acting…"
I know. But…
"… And it actually make me feel… sick."
Mm… I lower my head, hearing Kuroko's impression of me. My hand grips on tighter and tighter… I want to fight off everything with a laugh, but It will only make Kuorko even angry right?
We stood there, in the middle of the walk path, Kuroko eyes fix on me like brick of ice.
" You never show sincerity to anyone, do you?"
My beloved angel look at me, with his usual stoic expression…but why do I feel hated and despised by that look…

It's not like that I don't want to show… I know I'm being a copy-cat. All my smiles are fake. They are just what I use to get through everyday… But, I…
My eyes tear up again. Fuck… the last thing I need is to cry like a girl now.

" And… I hate you for keeping everything to yourself."
Ya…I always keep secret, even to my… huh?
"Eh?" I blink.
Kuroko-chi was looking on the ground, as he poke my side waist. Not anything hard like his ignite pass… he's just simply poking me.
"Kuroko-chi…"
"All of you are almost the same. You… Akashi-kun, Aomine-kun, Midorima-kun, Momoi-san and Murasakibara-kun. Keeping everything in yourself and… never talk about it." Kuroko-chi say, as his eyes glow with a dark aura that show that he is somewhat pissed, probably remembering our Teiko days…
"… Kuroko-chi, I don't think you talk about yours either."
He turn to look at me and…flip his eyes as he say, " But I've learnt. To tell someone. To my team in Seirin… and Kagami. The other generation of miracles are trying too, I know…. But, Kise-kun, you seem to still bottle up everything."

"Mm." I only remain silent. I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say yet I knew there is a bundle of things I kept with me… dragging along my life like a sack of burdens. Actually, not that i never consider to talk about it. I tried. Everyone in Kaijou are nice… and they are a precious team to me too… But I can't. Even to you, Kuroko… When you are the person I treasure so much, I just can't let you know how I really am.
You'll leave me.

Silence continue to flow between both of us, when we start to walk again... I breath in the cold breath of a spring night, as my head started to think about Kuroko-chi. I don't want him to leave me... But now, I don't know what to do? Is it the best for him if I disappear? Kuroko only sigh after we arrive at his dorm. I was about to just walk away when he pull my coat. I look over, and see him sigh again and began...
"Kise-kun. It's fine. You haven't found the right person like everyone else... so, don't worry. and please accept my apology on my hard words earlier. I only want you to know that you should depend on someone, not wearing the 'cheerful mask' and shoulder everything..."

..."Mmm."

"And... I would not leave you, Kise-kun."
Startled, I lift up my head and see Kuroko with his rare small smile, crept on the edge of his lips. He smile, to me.
"So you can tell me truthfully.. if there is something that you can't bear."
And he pat my head, the smile still there, like a soothing lullaby that bring my heart to a peaceful halt, assuring me that everything is alright and I did not mess up anything… especially myself.

"Kuroko-chi…"

God. How many time I cry?

I can't help. I feel helpless. Maybe a dirty mess up freak like me can still stay by him… Kuroko only put his hands softly against my blonde hair and never spoke a word… as I continue to let tears roll down, not because I feel hurt or confuse, not because of happiness or sort… I just want to cry. It wasn't fake tears…
Tears are the only thing I never fake when it's about the person I treasure the most.
But I think I'll add-on my effort to smile from my heart?
For Kuroko-chi.

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Night gone, and I wake up to a fresh start, without my alarm clock for the first time. That should be my record of the year! And it's all thanks to a certain teal hair angel, my precious…
I clean myself and sneak out ,consider that I actually skip my work yesterday because I was feeling like shit… but I'm glad I did. I get to see Kuroko-chi smile. I jog out the street near the university dorm that Kuorko live in, hoping to see the person I love before I head to work. And there I see, the most beautiful and whole being I ever met, walking Nigou.

I smile. I wave to him until he notice me and stop. I walk over, and we walk together… Nothing really change. I still haven't confess everything. But to me, right now… everything is enough. I'm satisfied as I know I came out with a new conclusion…

So what if I'm a ruined creation of god with messed up logic?
It's fine…
Because I know I would not stain this perfect piece of blue sky.
Though…
Only I can be by his side.
Like a blazing sun.
So… I would be perfect and flawless in many possible ways…
If I'm not?

I'll shadow them with my light.

As they said,
'Sunshine is always meant to be with the clear sky…'
'Right?'

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End… ?
Somewhere, behind the blonde and the phantom player, a figure watch them walking together… as he mutter something.
"… well… this save my problem of getting rid of Kirishima… But, now he became another problem."
the person in shade hiss at the particular existence of a certain blonde… until something came up in his mind and he smirk.
"Oh well… Challenge excepted. What's fun if everything is solve?"

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OAO~~~ Finally, the last chapter of Smiling Sunshine~~~~ yep, I'm ending this story... Btw, it was supposed to be a one-shot when I first write it…but then I decided to make a two-shot… then three…and now finally I end it here. This story might not be that nice and all… but I still feel accomplished in a way as I actually write something different, and with this I finish one of my resolution of the year: try to write fanfiction and at least finish writing 2 of them!…(I wonder if my English teacher even know what's a fanfiction when I hand in my list of resolutions…)

Many thanks to all of you that actually read this until the end… urm, I don't know what to say other than thank you for reading this so…
"HONTO NI ARIGATOU GOZAIMASHITA~!" *90 degree bow~

Untill next time~