I am not allowed to volunteer President Snow as tribute

I am not allowed to dress up as a cat and follow Katniss around meowing and muttering "catnip...catnip"

I am not allowed to fake my own death with ketchup

I am not allowed to teach the jabberjays to sing "This is the song that never ends"

I am not allowed to dare Rue to yell "To infinity and beyond!" while jumping from tree to tree

I am not allowed to bring a cardboard cutout of President Snow into the arena

I am definitely not allowed to place aforementioned President Snow cutout behind trees to scare the other tributes

I am not allowed to burn some bread then throw it at Peeta

I am not allowed to tie Haymitch's shoelaces together, watch him trip, and blame it on his drunkenness

I am not allowed to write on a sticky note "Katniss=the girl on fire Peeta=the boy with the bread Katniss+Peeta=Toast"

I am not allowed to shine the Batman symbol into the sky and pretend it's the new symbol of Panem

I am not allowed to climb the tallest tree and shout "You can run but you can't hide!" in the middle of the night

I am not allowed to walk up to Glimmer and say "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!"

I am not allowed to ask Foxface how she became part fox

I am not allowed to ask Cato about his anger management problems

I am not allowed to invite Effie over for dinner and, halfway through, stick my knife into the table and yell "That is mahogany!"

I am not allowed to randomly start singing "That girl is on fire!" whenever Katniss walks by

I am not allowed to have Peeta bake me a pie and then smash it into his face

I am not allowed to bring a remote control into the arena and press pause in the middle of a fight

When nothing happens, I am not allowed to scream "You retarded creation of modern-day science!"

I am not allowed to do the moonwalk on top of the Cornucopia

I am not allowed to start a food fight at lunch in the Training Center

I am not allowed to tell the rabid fangirls where to find Finnick's room

I am not allowed to put a whoopee cushion on President Snow's chair

I am not allowed to call Katniss and Peeta "Fire and Icing"

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