Sleepless Night

Word Count: 1,174

Written for Ferb O. Oche, also known as '3xj' on DeviantArt. Thank you so much for all of the artwork you've drawn for my little mini stories and covers. ^^ They were all incredible. :-D Also, this story's bookcover was drawn by said person, and is used with her permission. ^o^ Edit work was done by RaisedOnRadio.

Inspired by the song 'Call Me' by Shinedown.

…

…

I have a guardian angel.

He doesn't show himself much to me, or I just happen not to notice him. He appears whenever something big is going to happen in my life, which I need to prepare for, or try and prevent. He always materializes very suddenly – normally right in front of me – nearly scaring me half-to-death.

He's tall, well-built and handsome, with a distinct purple to his figure and his aura. He is protection and God's divine servant.

But he scares me more than anything that has ever happened in my life.

Whenever he shows up, I always feel like he will tell me that my time is going to end. He's calm and strong, but I feel pitiful and terrified whenever he comes.

The only other person that knows of his existence is Noll. But he hasn't shown up since the time he came to alert me that we would be adopted soon. He hasn't seen me since then, and Noll and I had, simply, forgotten about him.

Because the last thing he told me was a good thing – not the snips of news he would bring that my kitten was going to die, or that we were going to be sent to the orphanage – it left me feeling a little more at ease of his absence. Like it was okay to stop worrying about the next time he showed up, because it might not be something bad.

So why was he here right now, with such a solemn look on his face? I'm afraid that the dread coiling in my stomach knows.

I had managed to split off from my traveling group, who were currently doing some kind of midnight hike. I had casually broken off, and I don't believe anyone had noticed my lack of presence.

Now, I was standing on a road, on my way back to the hotel the group was residing at. For some reason, I was still smiling, even if I was about to be struck down by a piano falling from the sky.

Or maybe a random, flying bowling ball. That would be more fun.

My guardian looked cheerless, which was something I had never seen him as. Normally he just looked kind of monotone, and now I wished that I had taken a moment to learn more about him and from him, instead of always being scared of the next time he would come.

The next time he would tell me something I didn't want to hear.

He never says anything – or maybe I don't listen hard enough – but it was easy enough to give me the understanding that I won't live to see the new day.

I started walking again, straight into the mouth of the unknown.

If something was destined to happen right now (even though I didn't know how or what, if even), I felt like I should have some type of profound, dense moment, where my life flashes before my eyes.

It did kind of feel like that – although you always hear the line that nothing last forever, and you should treasure the time you have, it sometimes feels like you don't truly understand the sentence until you know it's over.

My guardian was walking besides me. Perhaps he was waiting to guide me to the afterlife.

Oh, dear God. I know I'm not religious, but don't let it hurt too much.

The constriction in my chest was keeping me from breathing easily.

If I changed my ways now, would I have to die at this moment? On the plane of an alternate universe, was I still in my hotel room, heeding the gut-feeling that I really shouldn't go out, and should just go to bed? Would that person continue to live my life even if I die here?

I had ignored my instincts, something that I had always listened to. God knows why I refused this time.

Never mind – because it doesn't even matter now.

I should have called Noll earlier. Said something random to him or both of us could have just been silent on the line, but it would have been comforting.

I felt powerless, there was a choice going on that I didn't make and couldn't decide to change. I wished that I could say goodbye one last time. To Noll, Luella, Martin, to Madoka, and Lin…

Right now, could I decide that it won't happen?

I looked at my guardian, feeling, for the first time, at ease around him.

"Is it over?" I asked him.

When he didn't answer, I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to hide the sudden swell of emotion gripping my throat.

Pulling my hands down, I made myself smile.

Because that's what I was best at.

My guardian disappeared, leaving me alone.

With him gone, there was chilliness to the air that wasn't there before. I could almost feel the last bit of sand in my hourglass dripping away.

Noll would have liked to know that I was aware of my impending death. He would have been proud of my medium skills at the moment. He was weird like that.

I heard the screech of a car, and I turned my head in time to see a car racing towards me. I didn't have enough time to consider jumping out of the way.

The collision of the car brought me to the hard ground with an intense impact. The pain was crippling. I could hardly breathe.

I don't believe in Heaven or Hell…

I think my skeleton had shattered.

But should I start thinking about calling myself a sinner?

I'm dying.

Or a saint?

The legs of a woman came up to me, and I heard her scream through the fog of pain – my guardian had never promised that it wouldn't hurt, and going painfully seemed more like me and my dramatic exits, anyway.

Her scream made the ache worse. I watched as she turned around, and heard the car door slam.

I saw my guardian's legs replace the spot her own had been. I wish that he had come earlier – with the title of a guardian, where the hell had he been? – But some things have already been decided in life.

Was it called fate?

Or was it called your own choices?

I felt the movement of the car pull back, and if it weren't for my guardian's presence, I'd have thought she would have called for help.

I always thought that I would go… dramatically.

That was the problem with theatrical people. They generally had to go out with a bang.

My guardian continued to stand there, waiting. But I was ignoring him. I didn't want him to guide me to the afterlife.

I could do it myself.

Within the few seconds, I watched as his amethyst aura faded. Then I suddenly felt very alone, and terrified.

I was thankful for when the car eased over me again, cutting off the pain, and with that, my own life thread.

It was over. I was dead.

Wasn't I?