This took far too long to update! My brain has been… struggling. With dumptrump being 'elected' I've had to write other stuff to get myself thru it. Thank you all for sticking around, you're the best!
It was 12:58 when the bell rang and both Anna and Blaine who were in the living room watching Mulan froze and looked over at Kurt who held His hand out to still and calm them. Blaine looked torn between running and jumping into Kurt's arms.
"It's Me," Cooper announced Himself through the door, knowing if Blaine was in the room he would panic. Blaine exhaled slightly but now it was Anna's face that showed panic. she inhaled sharply and Blaine grabbed her hand. Kurt looked at both subs, smiling comfortingly before opening the door to a anxious and ashamed Cooper. Kurt paused, looking back at Blaine and Anna before letting Cooper come in. Anna shifted closer to Blaine who squeezed her hand tighter.
"Anna, I-" Cooper began but Kurt silenced Him with a look and motioned to the recliner while He went over to the couch and motioned for Blaine and Anna to sit where they wanted. Both latched onto one of Kurt's side each. Cooper tried to hide the pain of His partner so obviously choosing another Dom, knowing He'd been the one to put Himself in this situation. But that didn't make it hurt less. Kurt linked His fingers with Blaine's and kissed his temple before wrapping His arm protectively around Anna's shoulder. she moved tighter against Kurt and almost smiled at the gesture.
"Anna, why don't You speak first," Kurt suggested knowing she would have a hard time speaking against Cooper once they got started. For a moment Anna didn't say anything and didn't move, Cooper sat hunched into Himself and bit His nails.
"You're back to biting Your nails to stubs again," Anna stated. "You know how i hate that," she said softly. Cooper looked down at His fingers as if He hadn't been aware He was doing it.
"I can't help it lately, everything is so messed up," He claimed sighing heavily. "With us and with Blaine and our bastard father." Cooper's voice hardened at speaking about Mr. Anderson. Blaine tensed and moved deeper into Kurt. Anna looked down meekly at her hands. "He's been calling Me and I just-"
"Wait, what?!" Blaine asked horrified. Kurt without realizing He was doing it pulled both subs even closer to Him and scowled, as if daring anyone to try to come near them.
"It's making Me a wreck, He's threatening Me, and you," Cooper motioned to Anna. Kurt waited for Cooper to say the eldest Anderson was also threatening Blaine but it never came. Whether it was because Cooper didn't want to distress Kurt and Blaine further, or if Mr. Anderson had changed the direction of His malice onto Cooper, Kurt didn't know.
"Why didn't You tell me?" Anna asked softly, "We used to tell each other everything." Cooper sighed heavily. He'd noticed the change in Anna, how could He not, but the fear He felt for Himself if she was ripped away from Him, kept Him from allowing Himself to latch onto her. It wasn't fair to her, He knew that, but He couldn't stop Himself from holding her at an arm's length.
"I was so scared if I told you-"Cooper paused looking at Blaine who was looking at Kurt's hand which was still securely in his. "I failed My brother, over and over, all his life I failed him. I couldn't bare it if I couldn't protect you from Him either."
"So You pushed me away and hurt me more than retraining ever could?!" Anna asked, her voice rising. Blaine's entire body flinched and buried his face in Kurt's neck. Retraining was one thing, it had been hell, it had been torture and misery but the idea that he and Kurt hadn't fixed their relationship right after, the thought that Kurt had pushed him away, nearly killed Blaine.
"I'm right here, Zuri, I'm not going anywhere," Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear so softly that Blaine knew not even Anna could hear Him. Blaine whimpered and nuzzled into Him, this was his Dom, his fiancée, the man that had broken his father's nose, had called sub Services to check on his mother, the man who had burst into a room at the sound of his screams and threatened three men who Blaine still had nightmares about, his Dom loved him more than anyone had ever loved him, could ever love him.
"i know," Blaine replied. he pulled back and looked at his brother who looked utterly defeated. Blaine knew Doms too could become ill if they didn't Dominate, it's why Kurt had found him. Cooper looked peaked, not much better than Anna if he was being honest. "What is Dad saying?" Blaine asked. Cooper shut His eyes for a moment before speaking,
"He's calling saying He got away with it once, He could do it again. He's saying Kurt was the one that saved Blaine and maybe He should take Anna since at I clearly couldn't save My brother, let alone My sub. Maybe teach Me what being an 'Anderson Dom' really means. And I thought if He thought I didn't love you as much, if I could convince Him you were nothing more than a sub, then He would leave us alone. I guess I convinced you in the process."
"Coop," Anna muttered before slowly detaching from Kurt and sitting on the recliner's arm, still keeping a slight distance between them. "i love You, Cooper, You are the love of my life. You always said that being Your sub doesn't mean You have to do everything, we should have been handling this together." her voice lowered into a hurt. Cooper started to reach out to touch her but stopped Himself and sat back ashamed. Blaine looked up at Kurt who looked sadly back at him but then he smiled softly.
"Bwana thought after retraining that He could no longer protect me, like He had failed me somehow," Blaine knew he probably should have gotten permission before telling Cooper and Anna what went on between the two of them. Kurt face showed a flash of hurt and annoyance but only for a moment when He realized where Blaine was going with this. "He considered giving me to another Dom if that was what was best for me," that got Cooper and Anna's attention. "i would have let Him too, i thought He deserved a better sub than me. But then we talked about it. He told me He didn't want to give me up but he wanted me to feel safe, mistakenly assuming i didn't feel safe with Him when I had never felt anything but safe. And i felt dirty and unworthy after the retraining-"
"But I told him he was still perfect to Me that I was the one who let him down." Kurt finished, smiling lovingly at His beautiful partner who smiled back, leaning into Him.
"Silly," Blaine whispered. "We were both silly, and once we figured out what the other one was going through we were able to fix it, together." The last word carried the most weight in Blaine's mouth and in the room. "Cooper pushing her away isn't going to make You love her less. And Anna, you have to understand that our father is-" Blaine shivered and a squeeze to his hand told Blaine his Dom understood and wasn't going anywhere. "Our father is manipulative and powerful, i mean He managed to get me taken away with no investigation for retraining and that's no easy feat. Coop's fears aren't unwarranted, He's just kind of going about it the wrong way." Blaine ducked his head, brother or not, Cooper was still a Dom and Blaine didn't want to forget his place.
"Together is the only way to really fight their father. Nothing is going to get better if you two don't face it together. Sometimes Doms try to carry the world's weight on themselves and subs suffer the consequences. Doms are strong alone, but we are stronger when we let our subs help." Kurt claimed His fingers tickling up and down Blaine's arm. Cooper looked up at Anna who looked back at Him, sadness and pleading on her face.
"Oh my kitten," He sighed and Anna lunged into His arms, sobbing softly as Cooper held her, tears streaming down His face. He whispered in her ear and she just sobbed harder.
"i'm sorry Bwana, for telling them what happened with us," Blaine breathed, still clinging tightly to Kurt.
"I was going to do the same thing, you did nothing wrong," Kurt responded kissing Blaine's hair. Blaine smiled softly and exhaled heavily, "How are you feeling today?" Kurt asked, realizing they hadn't been able to go through their normal mental check routine. Blaine blinked slowly, he hadn't really had time to think about it.
"i think when they leave there will be some feelings about my father but… nothing too terrible, i don't think." Blaine admitted. Kurt tilted his face toward His and kissed his lips gently, Blaine blushed under the gentle care. "i want to try to play today," Blaine whispered into Kurt's lips. Kurt pulled away looking into Blaine's eyes, they could never hide anything from their Dom. The eyes shone with love and affection, with an underlay of sadness that Kurt knew He would never fully be able to remove. There was something else however that did make Kurt pause, anxiety. Though whether it was directed at Kurt or at Cooper's situation, Kurt couldn't be sure until Cooper left.
"Come on, love, let's leave them alone for a bit," Kurt said, not releasing Blaine's hand as He pulled Blaine towards their playroom. Blaine knew it wasn't for play, they wouldn't do that with Cooper and Anna still in the house, but more for the room's sound proof qualities. Kurt sat on the bondage table and patted the space next to Him. Blaine rushed to obey and sat next to Him, curling into His side.
There was something about being in this room, cuddling that made Kurt smile. BDSM was so much about intimacy and trust, and that didn't have much to do with sex when it was all said and done. So being curled up on a bondage table, with Your precious, beautiful submissive nuzzled into You, Kurt thought there was no better image of BDSM, at least the type He preferred.
"Do you think they'll be okay?" Blaine asked quietly after several minutes of silence.
"I do, Zuri, it will just take some time to heal all the hurt," He admitted. Blaine nodded. There were more minutes of silence before Blaine sighed heavily,
"i didn't know Dad had this kind of power over Cooper. i guess i thought because Cooper is a Dom too… He always had me afraid and questioning everything, but i thought that was part of me being His sub kid. He didn't act afraid around Dad when You were arrested," Blaine remembered. Kurt stroked Blaine's arm, pulling him impossibly closer.
"I think you being taken to retraining like you were really screwed Coop up." Kurt admitted. "Maybe even a little more than it did Me because I have physical proof every day that that bastard didn't get us, that He didn't win…" Kurt sighed softly, "Cooper just has phone calls and faith that you are okay and if your father is calling and threatening Anna, it's no wonder He's a mess. I know I would," Kurt said gently, kissing Blaine's lips as lightly as if kissing a flower petal. Blaine nuzzled into Kurt, humming quietly.
"Thank You for taking care of me, Bwana," Blaine whispered. Kurt was about to respond when He realized Blaine wasn't done. "Retraining was really awful, but knowing that you were on Your way to get me was the one thing that kept me going. If i had thought You'd put me there, or that You didn't care…. i wouldn't have made it," Kurt shook His head, trying desperately to get rid of this image of Blaine lying on the ground being electrocuted, wounded and dying. "And You made me feel like being broken was okay, like we could fix me together." Kurt held him even tighter and kissed his lips deeper and longer, but still with a loving tenderness.
"I love you so much," Kurt breathed. Blaine exhaled getting smaller and burying deeper into Kurt's arms.
"i couldn't exist without You," Blaine responded.
"you are so beautiful and amazing and strong, the strongest person I know, in fact, you would exist without Met, you did it for a very long time," Kurt responded.
"Okay maybe i'd exist, but i wouldn't be thriving. God that sounded corny even as it came out of my mouth," Blaine chuckled lightly. Kurt laughed, smiling and nodded,
"It was, but also its adorable." Blaine blushed and smiled affectionately. "And you know I feel the same way, ask any of my friends, I was destroyed but then I met you and I healed, I came out of my head and started living again."
It was an hour later when a careful knock came at the playroom door, Blaine, who had been drifting between sleep and awake, jumped up and whimpered before realizing it had to be Anna or Cooper.
"It's okay, Zuri," Kurt soothed before standing and opening the door a bit, Anna stood there with Cooper behind her. They both looked infinitely better but it was obvious they still had a bit to go.
"We're um, we're going to head home," Anna said cautiously, looking for signs she'd interrupted something. Kurt studied her before looking at Cooper,
"Better?" Kurt asked Anna who smiled slightly and nodded. "Good," He said, "you are always welcome here," He said to the sub who nodded gratefully and suddenly threw her arms around Kurt.
"Thank you so much," she said into His shoulder.
"Of course, we all go through hard times, but we can get through it if we come together and fight," Kurt responded. Anna and Cooper both nodded as Anna pulled away. "Call Me tomorrow?" Kurt suggested, not really caring who answered.
"Yeah, we will," Cooper answered, holding His arm up for Anna to get under. And she happily did, sighing in relief.
After they left Kurt and Blaine stayed in the playroom.
"What did you have in mind for play?" Kurt asked. They both knew sometimes they would say they wanted to play but when it came down to it, they couldn't go through with it.
"i-" Blaine hesitated. Kurt waited patiently, it still wasn't particularly easy for Blaine to ask what he wanted, it had been even harder after retraining. "i want You- If You'd like, i would like for You to tie me up, um then uh- wh-whip me"
"Whoa, hold on, whip you? That's a soft limit, we haven't gone that far," Kurt reminded him. Kurt didn't particularly like the idea of whipping Blaine when he was still so skittish and with the fear of his father hanging around. "I'm not saying 'no'" Kurt said when He saw Blaine flinch and duck his head like he'd done something wrong. "I want to talk about where your head is at and what you will get out of it." Kurt suggested, tapping Blaine's knee to give him the hint. he immediately obeyed and sunk down. "Let Me see your eyes," Kurt ordered, Blaine obeyed, they were beautiful, clear, and giving. Kurt shook His head, He would never deserve this man. "Talk." Kurt demanded.
"They whipped me. All of them, my father, Hunter, the-the guys at the-…" he didn't have to finish, Kurt cupped his jaw and nodded understandingly. "We've already taken back my orgasms, i thought maybe this could be next." Blaine said almost casually though there was a quiver to his voice that told Kurt he was saying this anything but lightly.
"This is a big 'next'," Kurt stated. "Normally I wouldn't even consider going straight into whipping, but since you love getting spanked more than anyone I know," Blaine giggled and wiggled his ass, causing Kurt to laugh. It only took a moment for both of them to get back into the seriousness of the conversation. "I don't want to set you back, Zuri, I don't want to get started, you safeword and then we take 5 steps back."
"i know but…" he paused. "i think i'll know the second i see the whip if i can do it." Blaine reported. Kurt sighed, denying Blaine felt like a betrayal, like He didn't trust His sub enough to know what he wanted and what he didn't. But saying yes felt like too much of a risk.
"I-" Kurt began, signing heavily, "I don't think I can." Blaine blink in surprise, Kurt rarely denied him at least an attempt. "Not today," Kurt continued. "I am more than willing to consider it in the future, just-" He kissed Blaine's lips softly, "With Anna today, I'm not sure my own mind is right for something that ambitious, Zur, I just cannot run the risk of hurting you, we will try soon, I promise."
"i believe You," Blaine whispered. "And i trust You," he promised. Kurt kissed his neck and just below his ear and on the shoulder.
"And I trust that you know what you want, and what could be good for you. But I also know what's good for Me, and this, right now, isn't one of those things." Blaine couldn't help but smile at his Dom admitting that. They're relationship had always been equal, and their conversations frank.
"I don't want to hurt You any more than You want to hurt me," Blaine claimed.
"I know," Kurt said with a tender smile.