A/N: I really love Tyde and I think that it goes so well with Creek!

Craig had them, he knew it. He couldn't be outsmarted, not by that dumbass best friend of his. If Clyde thought he could get one over on Craig then he was mistaken. Pranks performed by Clyde had a way of backfiring, and Craig had always just been one step up. It seemed that Clyde was making one last attempt to fool Craig. But unfortunately for the Jock it was going to fail, because Craig had found the truth.

He burst into Harbuck's coffee, ignoring the looks he got from a middle-aged couple and Wendy and Bebe, who were sipping coffee and flicking through some of those stupid girl magazines. He ran up to the counter and banged it impatiently at the absence of his blond and rather twitchy friend.

"Tweek!"

"Gah!" Tweek jumped up and appeared in front of him, a look of terror on his round face, wide caramel eyes staring up. Craig had always thought he looked like the human version of a cookie, or at least liked to imagine Tweek as so, because he couldn't resist the thought of dunking Tweek into coffee. He knew Tweek would look good dunked in coffee. "What?!"

"...What were you doing down there?"

"Th-the magazine." Tweek pointed in Bebe's direction. "It had an article name on the front that said 'Hidden Calories, The Silent Killer'. What if the calories are all around waiting to attack?"

Tweek always took everything very literally. Though he agreed with quite a few conspiracies that argued every magazine article was a lie to cover up the truth (which probably revolved around aliens), Tweek also contradictorily believed everything the magazines said, often leaving his mind in a never-ending battle about the truth. In this case, calories were hiding all around him trying to kill him, but they were also possibly protecting him, most probably from aliens. He admitted his logic had some flaws but it was his logic.

Craig waved his hand in front of Tweek's face. "I'm here now; calories don't scare me. So chill, and listen!"

"Yeah?" Tweek started wiping splashes off coffee and various other drinks from the counter, before any insects could smell and attack. "What do you want from me?!"

"Clyde and Token are trying to fool us! But we'll have the last laugh!"

"Oh no! Not another one of your competitions! I can't handle another prank going wrong and Clyde being in hospital again. They p-put sleeping pills in your food so you're easier to control. And what if he never woke up again? Huh? You'd be down a ally when the zombie's attack."

"They don't do that, Tweek. And this time it involves no rooftops."

"Oh?"

"Clyde and Token are going to pretend to be a couple... I saw this note they were passing."

"They're gay!"

Craig rolled his eyes. "Well I think Clyde's totally gay but I don't think he's with Token." Craig put his hands on the counter, ignoring Tweek's complaints that he was getting his germ-ridden hands where it had been cleanly wiped. "Clyde dropped a note and I read it. It was one between him and Token, talking about how they were planning on tricking me." Craig fished it out of his pocket and handed it to Tweek. "Look!"

Tweek took it and read it silently. It read beginning with Clyde's handwriting:

You still on for tomorrow?

Which plan did you decide on?

Tricking Craig into thinking we're a gay couple. Dude, the look on his face will be priceless. I know we can totally have him with this one.

I agree. It sounds fun. :)

Yay! Love you, babe. ;)

Love you, too.

You see! We're naturals!

Tweek looked up from the note. "So, you found this? Joke's over then! Why do you sound so excited?"

"Because we're going to play them at their own game." Craig smirked evilly, like he'd just thought of the best plan that absolutely couldn't go wrong and would win him everything. "When they come in, telling us about the fact they're now a 'couple', we congratulate them and tell them of our own exciting news!"

"... Which is?!"

"We're a couple, too!"

"WE ARE!" Tweek pulled at his hair. "Oh. When did this happen and why wasn't I informed?!"

"No, no, Tweek. We're not a couple." Craig moved around to behind the counter and put his hand on Tweek's shoulder. "We just pretend we are to beat Clyde and Token."

Tweek stared silently at Craig with a slightly open mouth. It was very rare he doubted his friend's sanity, especially when he knew that he didn't have much himself, but this was one of those times. Craig looked like a maniac - his hat slightly askew and a terrible gleam in his eyes. "I - I don't want to."

"Sure you do!" said Craig quickly. "Come on, it won't be for long, and I'm hot. Look." Craig lifted his shirt and showed Tweek a flash of his toned stomach. "You want to get with this."

Tweek rolled his eyes, jumping again when Craig turned and shouted: "Girls!"

Bebe cocked her head to the side, looking up and over in exasperation. "Craig?"

"Do you think Tweek and I could pass as a gay couple?"

"What?" Bebe's eyes opened wide. "Are you two finally together?" Her tone was excited. Tweek noticed the middle-aged couple get up and leave at that - he couldn't say he blamed them; Craig was being his usual inconsiderate asshole self.

Craig narrowed his eyes. "Finally? What? NO! I just want to know if we'd pass as one."

"Oh, totally." Bebe raised her eyebrow. "Why?"

"Can't let Clyde win."

"Of course." Bebe rolled her eyes. Everyone knew of the pranks and tricks that had gradually gotten worse and more stupid over the years. Craig and Clyde had a very weird way of being best friends.

Just then Tweek yelped and ducked down behind the counter as he saw out of the window Clyde and Token approaching. He pulled Craig down as well.

"Why are we ducking?" whispered Craig.

"B-because I'm not ready." Tweek put a finger to Craig's mouth. "Shhh. W-We can always make it look better and pretend we'd been making out."

Craig grinned. "Excellent."

Clyde burst into the coffee shop and almost ran around it in his searching, looking at the counter and all the tables. He was the type of person who would search under a coffee mug for someone rather than in a more obvious hiding place (for example behind a counter). Reason had not much of a place in his brain and actions always came before thinking about them. He was calmly followed by Token who smiled and waited for Clyde to finish searching.

Clyde frowned. "Dammit, where's Tweek?"

"I don't know, dude," replied Token. "I've been with you all day." He smirked. Clyde smirked back and then walked to the girl's table.

"Yo, Bebe, have you seen the twitchy one?"

Bebe glanced over at the counter, saw what they must have done and faked innocence. "No, not since he- uh - left to get some more muffins... blueberry I think."

"Man, I love blueberry muffins." Clyde grinned. "We should wait for him to get back."

"He may be a while - blueberry muffins are hard to find."

"Because Clyde's eaten all the ones in the area?" joked Token with a grin.

Clyde turned to him and grinned again. "Hey, cheeky." He wrinkled his nose and leant closer to Token. "I should tell you off for that." But instead he placed a small kiss on Token's lips and blushed.

Bebe gasped. "Are you guys together?"

Clyde blushed deeper and slowly turned away from Token, like he'd momentarily forgotten anyone else was there. It was an easy thing to do when reminded of what he had - his perfect boyfriend. To best explain it, Token was the soft promising aromas of an endless supply of genuine Mexican tacos, delivered by God himself, wearing a three-piece-suit on top of the world's tallest rollercoaster. He was sensual, delicious, inspiring, classy and every single moment was thrilling.

"Uh... yeah... we are actually. And we wanted to tell Tweek." He laughed and sat down next to Wendy, pulling Token with him. "We also wanted to tell him about the trick we're pulling on Craig."

"Trick?"

"He thinks this is all fake. I pretended to accidently drop a note which I knew he'd pick up and read." Token was the one who planned what the note said. Clyde was getting too carried away and wanted to write things that would have no doubt mentally scared Craig's mind.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I can't resist what he will try to do to outsmart us!" Clyde licked his lips and span Wendy's empty coffee mug absently. "And also because I was scared to tell him straight-out. I want him to get used to the idea of me being with Token in a fake sense, before he realises it's real."

Bebe bit her lip and looked at Wendy. Wendy remained calm and smiled at both the boys, saying, "Let's hope you win this one then."

Clyde grinned and nodded, getting up and pulling Token with him and gazing into his eyes. "Let's go back to yours, dude."

Token stroked Clyde's hair and then moved his arm down to take Clyde's hand softly. "Sounds great."

They both happily left the coffee shop, Clyde thinking that everything was finally working out his way. He couldn't stand the thought of losing again - hospital food tasted horrible and they wouldn't listen to his request for tacos instead. ("This isn't room service!")

Craig slowly stood up from behind the counter and leaned against it, staring forward and very pale. Tweek copied his moves with wide, startled eyes and pulled on his hair.

"Jesus Christ they're both gay!"

"Shhh, Tweek." Craig held a hand to the blond's mouth. "I'm thinking." Slowly a smile curled back onto his lips. "They looked cute." He pulled his hand away from Tweek's mouth.

"You're not mad?"

"No! Of course not!" Craig grinned. "Like I said, I always knew Clyde was gay. I'm just glad he's finally starting to admit it. And Token's such a classy bastard. They look gorgeous together. Don't you just want to eat them up?"

"N-No, not really." Tweek frowned. "So we're going to tell them we know?"

"Oh, we're still going to have our fun..."

"What?!" Tweek was beyond desperate for Craig to return to normal, but that didn't look like it was going to happen... ever. It was looking more and more like aliens were involved, and calories were doing nothing to protect him.

"We want them to admit they're a couple. Clyde thinks all we know is that they're a pretend couple. So we still pretend to be a couple too but make it obvious that we're not really and see how far they'll let us go with each other before they stop us and admit they're together."

"You really think this will work? Will we have to kiss?"

"We're two dudes, Tweek, they're not going to let us go as far as kissing before they stop us and admit I can outsmart anyone."

Tweek wasn't so convinced, but he nodded slowly. "Gah, f-fine, but this sounds like too much pressure." He was also slightly disappointed Craig seemed to think they wouldn't have to kiss, not that he'd let his friend know this of course. That would be like admitting to alien's that he was racist for his own planet (which he was, really).

"Let me handle it. You just sit there and look like an irresistibly tasty and dunkable boyfriend."

"...Dunkable!?"

It was later in the day that the four boys met up together. Token had invited Craig and Tweek over to his house and the two 'couples' had sat across from each other.

"We have something to tell you," said Clyde with a dramatic look on his face.

"Oh?" Craig replied, taking a sip of his coke and then putting it down, placing his hands together. "Do tell."

"Token and I, well, we're together, dude," said Clyde, knowing Craig would think it all fake, and waiting to see what reaction his friend had been working on.

Craig gasped and held a hand to his chest, knowing that Clyde knew he already knew, but also knowing that Clyde didn't know that he really knew that there was more to know than what they thought he knew*. "Wow, dude." He smiled kindly at his two friends. "That's great news."

"Thank you!" Clyde grinned and held Token's hand. "We're really happy together."

"I can see." Craig smirked and slowly reached his arm around Tweek's shoulder - who did a good job of not flinching. "I also have great news."

Clyde raised his eyebrow and watched Tweek's blushing face. "Oh?"

"Tweek is my secret love and has been for quite some time."

Clyde looked at Craig and smirked. "Really? Well, congratulations," he said in a sarcastic tone. Clyde thought he could see immediately what Craig was doing and therefore decided to play along. "How long?"

Craig thought. "About four months."

"You kept it a secret for all that time?"

"We're very sneaky aren't we, Tweek?" Craig moved his hand to stroke Tweek's hair softly. Tweek blushed and nodded. "How long have you been together?"

"Only a couple of weeks, but I've know my feelings for Token for quite some time; I've always just hidden them," said Clyde truthfully. A real blush ran across his cheeks and his body shuffled closer to Token's, shoulders fitting comfortably against each other. He could see out of the corner of his eye, Token smiling happily.

Craig nodded slowly. "I can see them now. I am genuinely happy for you." His tone was more serious than someone reacting to what he should have seen as a prank.

Clyde narrowed his eyes slightly. "Thanks..." He shook his head and smirked again. "I bet you two look adorable kissing."

Craig snapped his head to glare accusingly at Clyde. "None of your business."

"Surely after four months of hiding, you want to kiss in front of us? Make it feel so much easier?"

"We... Uh... Yeah..."

"Unless of course there's a reason why you wouldn't?"

"... No reason." Craig raised his eyebrow. "But you go first."

Clyde smirked. "Fine." He turned to Token, wrapping both hands around his neck and smiling, leaning up and forward until their lips met in a gentle joining that lasted a few seconds. It was the type of fake kiss Craig would expect and could replicate. Realisation suddenly hit him and he pulled Token back towards him, harder, groaning into another kiss, this one very passionate. He didn't want Craig to be able to replicate the kiss - that was the whole point!

When he pulled away he licked his lips and grinned at Craig and Tweek's startled faces. "Mmmm. Your turn."

Token blinked and fell back, half dreamily. "Yeah, your turn." If he and Clyde had been alone at that point, Clyde would be in trouble from a very desperate and hungry attack.

Craig nodded slowly and cursed inwardly, turning to Tweek, who stared up at him with startled eyes. He put Tweek's blush down to embarrassment and bent closer to him, heart thumping and half of his brain screaming at him to give in; no good would come from kissing Tweek, just confusion and more longing.

He ignored the screaming and grabbed Tweek's shoulders, bending until their lips made contact, and uncontrollably gasping. He heard Tweek gasp too, but not pull away. His lips took it as a cue to stay put and to his horror, his hands found their way into Tweek's hair. Enough seconds had gone by to let go, but he couldn't. Crap.

Tweek's fingers clung to Craig's shirt and he kept his eyes tightly squeezed shut. He allowed himself just to pull a little harder. Craig's lips felt almost too perfect against his to be human, but until proven otherwise, he'd ignore it.

Clyde stared in shock, mouth hanging open. When he knew he couldn't take it anymore he shot up. "Okay, okay, Craig, you can stop!" he shouted. "I admit we tried to trick you! But we are actually together for real, not fake!"

Craig ignored everything Clyde was saying and tangled his fingers further in Tweek's hair, holding their lips closer and kissing further. The feeling was like his body was in disarray. His brain was shutting down, his hands leaving his mind's control; his heart was wildly trying to barge up through his mouth and make his lips tell Tweek the truth. But all his lips wanted to do was continue this kiss; so that's what he did.

Clyde looked at Token in alarm. "Dude, why are they still kissing?"

Token smiled and rested a hand on Clyde's shoulder. "I think they won." He chuckled and stroked Clyde's hair.

Craig pulled away and stared at Tweek; Tweek stared back. They both looked away and smiled.

"So we're a real couple..." said Clyde slowly.

"Uh, huh," replied Craig.

"And... you are too?"

Craig glanced at Tweek and Tweek glanced back. Craig nodded slowly. "Yes..."

Clyde chuckled. "But not for four months?"

"I think maybe... four minutes?" Craig was still staring at Tweek, his Tweek, the human version of a cookie. He grinned when Tweek nodded.

Clyde laughed. "Close enough!"

* Not originally intended to play with the mind, but reading back over it, I couldn't resist leaving it in.

A/N: Thank you! :)