T-SHIRT SIGNAGE CHALLENGE

Title: I CAN'T FIGHT HOW I FEEL, NOT ANYMORE
Type: Multipart Fic
Pairing: Damon, Elijah, Alaric (Stefan and Elena in the background)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Rating: M
Chapters: 1/?
Status: Incomplete
Summary: One of your 'Couple' buy a t-shirt or are given one by a friend with words on it in another language. They have no idea what it says, but it's actually quite sexual or provoking. The other of the 'Couple' knows exactly what it says and decides to do exactly what the t-shirt tells them. Written for the t-shirt signage challenge. WARNING: SLASH

DISCLAIMER: If I did own TVD, Matt Davis would be now right beside me, drinking cocktails on a Caribbean beach. Sadly, that can only be true in my dreams.

AN/ I know I shouldn't have started with another story while I have so many already to finish, but ever since I saw this challenge, the images and ideas twirled through my mind, and I just had to write it down. This was supposed to be a one-shot when I started writing it while lying on the beach, but then I got a severe writer's block and I still can't get over it. I know I was supposed to update IFYP yesterday, and I'm sooooo sorry because I couldn't. As a 'please don't give up on me', I'm giving you this.

I was searching through my memories for where could I put this challenge in, and this somehow fit perfectly. It is set around the sacrifice in the end of season two with a few differences.
I was reading (again) Dalaric and Delijah stories here on FF, and I couldn't decide which pairing suits best for this challenge, so I've decided, what the hell, to write with all three of them. So, the pairings are: Damon/Elijah, Damon/Alaric, Elijah/Alaric, Damon/Alaric/Elijah. And yes, it's a slash. I hope you'll like it and please review.

WARNING: SLASH If you don't like it, don't read.

It was over. The threat that all of them fought against was dead. Klaus was dead. Gone for good. Of course, there were casualties. Jenna was dead, John too, and Elena was a vampire. Damon forced her to drink his blood a day before the ritual, and the blood was still in her system when she died. That was also the day he was bitten by Tyler, while trying to save Elena's friend Caroline. He tried to keep it hidden from everyone, even though he was week, sweaty and disorient, but just when they were making plans how to kill Klaus, in the den of a Boarding House, he passed out. And that is how everyone learned his secret.

In only a few days, his life changed. Nothing mattered anymore. Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline were angry at him for doing, what he thought at that time, was the right choice. Elena now hated him, and he lost his best friend.

Damon was sitting in his third favorite place, a gazebo in the back of the Boarding House. His first favorite place was the chair in front of the fireplace, and the second, the barstool in the Grill. But, since Alaric was gone, he saw no reason being there alone.

He was alone, like always, looking at the empty garden, that was once, while his mother was alive, her pride and joy. Well, after her two boys, of course. The garden was now empty like him. Empty and alone.

He remembered the days when his mother was still alive. He and Stefan were always by her side, laughing and playing around the Salvatore estate. Even their father would join them sometimes. They were a happy family, until the day she died. He was fourteen, and Stefan ten years old, when she got bitten by a bee. Few days later she was buried in their family crypt. After her death, their father changed drastically. There was no more laughter, no celebrations, no Christmas, nothing. Giuseppe withdrawn to himself and his study, and Damon had only his brother. He couldn't wait to turn eighteen so he could leave. Sadly, life had other plans. When he was seventeen, Giuseppe forced him to join the army while Stefan stayed at home. When he took a leave seven years later, and returned for a week, Katherine, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, was there, and he fell for her instantly. Little did he know what she was, and that she was also playing with his brother.

Now, looking back, he knew she wasn't worth it. Wasn't worth losing over a century of his life searching for a way to free her from the tomb he thought she was in. Not worth losing his brother for her. Because, before she came to their lives, he and Stefan were close, they were best friends, and he let her ruin his relationship with his brother. He believed in her lies. Instead of hating his brother, he should've hate her. She never loved him, or Stefan. They were just her toys to play with. She compelled him to love her forever, after their transition. And he learned that after he came back from the dead for the second time. Thanks to Elijah, he was alive again. He was the one who brought the cure and saved his life.

BEGINNING OF THE FLASHBACK

Damon was in his bed, dying, while everyone else was fighting Klaus. He told Stefan that Bonnie was alive and where he could find her. To say that Stefan was surprised was an understatement, but he quickly understood that Bonnie had to stay 'dead' since she was their secret weapon against Klaus. Not until later, when everything was over, had he found out that Klaus turned Jenna as a revenge for Damon, after he saved Caroline and Tyler. Katherine tricked her, posing for Elena, to get her out of the house.

Everything was working for Klaus. He had his witch, a vampire, a werewolf and Elena for the sacrifice. Then Bonnie came and everything changed. Even though Klaus was weak, he was still strong since he already drained Elena. He would've won, but then Elijah came through. He ripped his brother's heart out and that was it. No one thought he would actually do it. They were brothers after all. But he gave them his word. While Stefan and Caroline took care of Bonnie and Elena, Elijah took Klaus's blood and rushed toward the Boarding House.

However, he was late. Damon was already dead. But, that didn't stopped him and he forced the blood on Damon's mouth, alongside his own blood, and waited. Soon after, the rest of the group arrived. Seeing Damon's lifeless body, Stefan cried and rushed toward the bed. Elijah told him that all that they could do now is wait. Wait for Elena to wake up and a miracle for Damon. So they waited. Since Stefan locked Alaric in one of the cells in the Boarding House basement, by Damon's order, for keeping him out of the fight, Caroline let him out. He was fuming at first, but when she told him what happened with Jenna, Elena and Damon, he didn't know where to go first. Somehow, his feet drove him toward Damon's room. He was stricken with grief over Jenna's death, but the unmoving Damon brought the tears to his eyes. And he waited too.

Elena woke up first. In the beginning, she didn't want to go through the transition, but one look at her brother, changed her mind. Soon after, she started remembering the two compulsions Damon did on her.

For three whole days, Stefan didn't moved from Damon's room. Waiting for that miracle. Stefan was slowly starting to lose faith, when suddenly, he saw a movement. One of Damon's fingers twitched, then others followed. Then he opened his eyes. To Stefan, that was the most beautiful sight he ever seen. His brother was alive! Once again, Elijah fed Damon with his own blood when Stefan called for him with the news. He wasn't far, just in the next room. It took a week for him to recover. And then everything came crashing down.

He was sitting in front of the fireplace, bottle of Bourbon in his hand, thinking of what he remembered. It left a sour taste in his mouth. All those years he was obsessed with her and hating his brother, when he could've found someone who would love him back. Someone who would actually choose him. He felt Elena sat beside him but he didn't acknowledge her, he just kept staring at the fire.

"I'm glad you're okay." He said, not making the eye contact.

He felt guilty. Guilty for forcing her to drink his blood, guilty for Jenna. She'd lost so much and he hated himself for his part in that.

"I remember." She said, dismissing his words.

She wasn't okay. She was a vampire. Something that was forced down on her. And she hated him for making the choice for her.

"I know." He said tiredly.

He knew this was coming. And he heard in her tone she hates him, and he also noticed the dismissal.

"We've met first. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Does it matter?" He asked back. When she didn't say anything, he continued. "I thought so."

"And I remember you returning the necklace to me and what you said. I'm sorry Damon, but I love Stefan. He is the one for me. I…"

"I know. It will always be Stefan." He stopped her, then asked. "Do you forgive me? For feeding you my blood?"

"I... No. Maybe someday I will." Elena answered truthfully.

"I understand. I am sorry, for all that's worth." Damon said, finally looking at her, and she saw in his eyes he meant it.

"This is for you." Elena said, handing him the envelope.

"What is that?" Damon asked, confused.

"Alaric left it for you." She answered, then left him alone.

Damon stared at the envelope in his hand like it was some strange object. He hadn't seen Alaric since he woke up. That one and only time when he squeezed his hand giving him the small smile that said he was happy he made it through. Damon thought he was probably grieving in his loft over losing Jenna. And he was recovering from being dead then alive again, so he decided to give him time. Finally opening and reading the letter, his first thought was that it was probably some kind of a joke, but after reading it the second time, he felt emotions overwhelming him. Disbelief, anger, hurt, guilt, loss, sadness, agony, betrayal… it was too much. He didn't even realized he was crying. His emotions were all over the place. In a blur, he started destroying the room he was in. Alaric was gone. And he left without even a proper goodbye. The letter wasn't good enough. He felt HE wasn't good enough. The only person he considered a friend was gone. In his rage, he didn't even heard Stefan's voice shouting at him. Suddenly, he was pinned against the wall. It took a few moments for him to compose himself. To realize where he was, what he'd done, and who exactly was holding him. Elijah. Tears were falling when he spoke in a voice that sounded strange to everyone who was listening.

"Why? Why did you even bother to save me.? You should've just let me die!"

"Damon." Elijah started calmly, like he was unaffected with everything.

Nothing on his face betrayed his thoughts. Because, the truth was, he liked the young cocky vampire he was now pinning against the wall. He liked him a lot. In his long life, he rarely took a lover, either a woman or a man, and he never felt what he felt now. Somehow, someway, along the road, he started caring for Damon. That is why he was always there to save him. The thought of losing Damon scared the hell out of him. He killed his own brother because he promised Damon he would. When Klaus said in his last moments that he will tell him where the rest of his family was, all he thought about was Damon, and how disappointed he would be if he backed out of his word. The shock in Klaus's eyes when he ripped out his heart…he wished Damon was there to witness it. Because…he did it for him. He took the blood of his brother and rushed toward the Boarding House. When he got there, he knew he was too late, but nevertheless, he poured the blood down Damon's throat alongside with his own blood. And he waited. Waited for that miracle. Three days later, it came. Damon was alive, and he suspected he was now his sire. He felt connected to him, like he felt connected to every other vampire he created. During the whole week of Damon's recovery, he was feeding him his blood. He seemed to be fine, until today. He wondered what happened to throw Damon to this frantic state. Hearing the words Damon said, and above all, the dejected look in his eyes, actually brought the tears to his eyes, but he forced them back.

"Let me go." Damon whispered brokenly. "Just let me go."

And he did. He watched Damon leaving the trashed room and going upstairs toward his own room.

When Elijah released him, he walked slowly, not even noticing his brother or Elena on his way up. He didn't care anymore. He was alone once again, but this time it hurt. It hurt so much. He climbed into his bed and let the tears fell.

"It's my fault." Elena whispered, looking at the disaster of the room.

Everything was trashed. The books were on the floor, bottles of Damon's most expensive drink broken, the furniture all over the place, few chairs were even outside since Damon throw them through the window. The walls had holes inside them, paintings ripped and glass shattered on the floor.

"What do you mean?" Stefan asked puzzled.

Elena then told them about her conversation with Damon and her two compulsions she remembered. She should've waited. She knew that now. Waited until Damon was better. But, how could she knew that her words would have this effect on Damon?

Suddenly, Elijah saw one paper lying on the floor near the fireplace. He picked it up and read it. And suddenly, he knew. This was the main reason for Damon's actions. He was aware how close Damon and the teacher were. He saw it with his own eyes. Them, drinking together, laughing, plotting… After a discreet investigation, among other things, he learned that Alaric was Damon's friend. His only friend. And now, he was gone. And Elijah suspected that Damon was feeling alone, betrayed, rejected…he also suspected that Damon has feelings for the teacher that went beyond friendship. It was the feeling he got every time he saw them together.

"I don't think that it was your fault, Elena." Elijah said, giving them the letter.

Damon.

When you read this, I'll be long gone. I'm truly happy you are okay after you scared all of us to the death. I've waited to be certain of your state before doing this. I told Elena to give you this after you fully recover. My guess, a week or two would do.

I'm sorry for leaving like this, but I knew if I'd voiced my thoughts, you would try to stop me. It is better this way, for both of us.

I need this, Damon. Please understand why I need to leave Mystic Falls, you… I need some time alone. Here, everything reminds me…

I need to move on.

I hate to say that lime line 'It's not you, it's me', but it kinda applies and fits here.

You know I came to Mystic Falls to kill you, but then you became my friend. I thought Isobel was dead, then she turned up and messed with everyone. Including me. Even though I've stopped loving her, she was still my wife, my past. Then Jenna happened and I felt alive again. Everything happened so fast. One moment we were planning our next date, and the next moment she was ripped away from me. Once again, I've lost a woman I cared about. A woman I loved.

And then, there is you. I don't blame you for her death, and I'm not mad at you for making Stefan to lock me up for my protection. Truth is, I wouldn't be of much help, being the human in the vampire battle. I realize that now.

You became my friend in a very short amount of time after all I wanted is to kill you, and that is also something I need to work out with myself. That is not normal. And yes, maybe I'm all screwed up, but all this feelings inside are killing me.

I don't know for how long I'll be gone, for how long will this self-search last…or when will I return…if ever…

I'm sorry…I'm sorry for leaving (you), but this is something I just nee to do.

Please forgive me.

Ric

After reading it, Elena felt guilt. She gave him the letter after her words. Now, when she was a vampire, she understood better what Stefan once told her about emotions in a vampire. And Damon just lost her and his best friend. She didn't know what to do. How to comfort Damon. The only thing she was sure of, is that she was the last person Damon wanted to see.

Stefan felt hopeless. He loved his brother and he wanted to help him. But he was clueless in what way. He wanted his brother back, he wanted back that closeness they had when they were young and still human. He didn't realized it until Damon passed out in front of him from the werewolf bite. Seeing the bite, and looking at his brother who was dying was the hardest thing he ever did. He knew his brother. When he loved someone, he loved unconditionally, completely. He was like that when they were humans, and it magnified when they became vampires. He suspected Damon acted like this, not because of what Elena said to him, no, it was because his friend was gone. His only friend. And quite possible the man Damon had feelings for that weren't just friendship. Hearing the words, in so broken tone, that he wanted to die, broke his heart. Literally.

Elijah saw how both Stefan and Elena are lost in what to do. Sighing, he spoke.

"I'll go see him." At Stefan's raised eyebrow, he explained. I don't think that seeing either of you now will help him. You are too close to both him and Alaric. I'm not.

Elijah entered Damon's room and he felt a stab in his heart seeing Damon crying his heart out on his bed. Against his better judgment, he walked toward the bed, laying down next to Damon, and pulled him into his embrace. Instantly, he felt Damon froze in his arms, then lifting his head up. Their eyes were an inch apart, and Elijah wanted to kiss every tear on Damon's face, but he knew it was not the time.

"Shhh. Everything will be okay. Just let it all out. I'm here for you." Elijah said gently, noticing how Damon's eyes went wide, then they filled with more tears.

"No, it will not. I've lost everything. Elena, Alaric, Stefan. I have nothing left. Why did you even bother to save my life? You should've just let me die." Damon said, but he didn't move from Elijah's embrace. Somehow, it soothed him. Not wanting to dwell on that, he pushed that thought away.

"You're so wrong, you have no idea how much. Stefan cares about you. You should've seen him when you didn't woke up, when you actually died. He was stricken with grief. Elena will forgive you someday. Alaric will be back. He just needed some time. And you have me. Now that I'm your sire. I care about you. I couldn't let you die." Elijah said, trying to comfort Damon.

"Why?" Damon asked, not breaking the eye contact. He was surprised hearing all that from the Original.

"Because…" Elijah was, for the first time, lost for words. Instead he showed him, placing his lips on Damon's. He thought that the young vampire would back down and he was very surprised when Damon, after a moment of hesitation, returned the kiss.

AN/ This is it for the first chapter. Tell me what you think. And yes, I know that when a vampire dies, he can't be brought back to life, and especially the sire can't be changed, but work with me on this one and pretend that everything is possible. I'm craving for your reviews! IFYP will be out, I hope by the end of the week. So, take your time, and please, leave me a thought or two. *pleading look*

Oh, yeah, before I forget, the flashback is still not over and it will continue in the next chapter!