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Chapter 2 - Powder Wig Allergies
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"Alright guys, I think that's enough filming for now. Lunch break!"
The actors scattered from the stage and made their way over to the large tent under which their pizza was delivered.
"Damned Pizza Hut endorsement. I swear, if I have to eat another slice of this crap, I'll die within the first few episodes." Clovis remarked to his brother Lelouch.
"Don't worry, if you have to eat another slice, I'll help you with that." He took a bite of the glorious pizza.
"Hah."
C.C. walked over to both of them and grabbed a plate of...salad.
"No pizza, C.C.? You're supposed to love that stuff."
"Only in the show. They have me eat it so much in every scene that I'm starting to get sick of it."
"You don't say!" Clovis dropped his plate in mock surprise.
"Besides, me and the rest of the girls have a swimsuit scene coming up next week too."
"Fanservice much?" Lelouch mumbled in the middle of a bite.
C.C. scoffed. "Yeah, tell me about it. Ha, fanservice. At least I don't have to wear a bunny..."
She paused as Kallen walked past them, still in her bunny outfit. She turned to look at the group who had obviously just stopped talking about her.
"...suit."
"If you guys have something to say, spit it out."
Lelouch gulped, swallowing his food.
"Uh...how's Tamaki?" He asked nervously.
"Would you like to visit?" She raised a fist.
"Nope!"
Kallen shook her head, or bunny ears rather, and continued on toward the changing rooms. Lelouch leaned over and whispered to Clovis.
"I really don't understand what's so provocative about a bunny."
"You don't understand what's provocative about anything! You're like...asexual!"
"I am not! I have had several make-out scenes with several different women! At one point, the fanbase was all into Lelouch x Harem!"
"You have the directors who orchestrated that to thank!"
"Oh give me some credit!"
"Yesterday you said Euphie was your first love right after you shot her. She's your sister, dammit. That's disgusting. Have you ever made out with anyone besides your sister? And I'm talking about without the help of a director."
"Yes, I have! And I'll have you know it was quite fabulous. It was just the other day, when we got back to my place, me and C.C. were...uh...I mean..." His voice grew weaker under C.C.'s intense glare. She grabbed the back of his head and slammed it into the pizza. His bleeding nose mixed in with the tomato sauce.
"Eat your pizza, featherweight."
"Eat your salad, fanserver." He grumbled back.
Clovis just watched the two in awe.
"Whoa...so...you guys...are...on a scale of one to chameleon, how much tongue was there?"
"WHAT?!"
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"Help! I'm kinda stuck here..."
"Cut! Dammit..."
Suzaku hung upside down, dangling from his wired harness. They were filming one of the multitude of scenes where Suzaku unleashed his infamous "Spinzaku" kick, as dubbed by the fanbase. In reality, he could barely jump five inches off the ground.
The solution? Wires.
"And...action!"
Suzaku was yanked into the air with a yelp, where he hung upside down, once more.
A random cameraman shouted at the hanging figure. "Come on, Suzaku! I thought you would be used to being tied up after dating Euphemia! Er...that's not what I meant..."
"No, that's exactly what you meant," Suzaku retorted, still upside down. "And no, I haven't gotten used to it."
"Suzaku Kururugi!" Just then, Euphemia stormed on set wearing a revealing dominatrix outfit. "What have you been telling them?"
"Euphie, I'm filming now! And why the hell are you wearing my stuff?"
The wire operator whispered to the safety technician next to him. "That's his stuff? Why does it fit her so well? Unless..." The safety technician produced a bag out of thin air and ducked behind a control console. Retching noises echoed throughout the studio.
"Because my outfit is still in the washing machine, you idiot. Thanks to you, I can't get that funny smell out."
She pointed the back end of her whip at the dangling man.
"You are so getting tied to the bed tonight."
"Uh...ok..."
She stormed off set, leaving a confused camera crew, a disturbed director, and a stunned Suzaku.
The director's mouth hung open for quite some time as he stared at the retreating form of Euphie. After a long silence, he spoke.
"Her clothes...you...huh? Are you a-"
"NO."
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"All men...are not...created...ACHOO!"
"Cut! What the hell, Chuck?"
"I'm sorry, it's my allergies! I'm-ACHOO!- allergic to the powder in the wig."
He removed his ridiculous wig, which resembled something the old British monarchs might have worn, were he a few centuries older. As he set the wig down, puffs of white powder erupted from it, sending irritating dust particles into the Emperor's lungs.
"God...I hate this wig. ACHOO!"
"Excuse you. Now, can we just get this one line over with?"
"But why? Can't we just put up a still image of my face then have me read out my lines separately? Then we can stitch the two together!"
"No! This is a live-action TV series, not some half-assed dub! What kind of TV series would it be if the characters' mouths didn't sync with their voices?"
"Rgh...alright."
"You'd better get used to wearing that wig! Your Emperocket scene is coming up!"
"Fun...wires and wigs...my two favorite things."
"Cameras rolling...and action!"
Charles strolled up to the throne where he began to deliver his mighty speech.
"All men! Are not! Created...ACHOO!"
"Cut!"
"GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT." he bellowed.
Chuck threw his wig at the camera, where it sent off more dust particles upon impact. He sneezed for two minutes straight.
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