Author's Note: This is a long story that follows Season 7 really closely. I started this right after the beginning of "Hello, Cruel World" and took off with an alternate season. It is a complete story, but it will take me a while to get all the chapters up here and I'm editing it as I upload so I don't know how often I'll update chapters. Obviously, many spoilers for all of Season 7.

Dean ran down the dirt path, following the black ooze that Cas had left behind as the leviathans walked off with his body. Sam and Bobby were following close behind. They caught sight of Cas just in time to see him submerge himself into the water. Dean let out a quiet gasp. No, Cas you can't leave now. The water then swirled into a whirlpool and black swarmed the waters as the leviathans spread out through the water supply of Sioux Falls.

"Ah, Hell." Bobby sighed.

"Dammit." Dean didn't believe it. Everything in his body told him to run out into the water and drag Cas back, but with the leviathans in the water that didn't seem like a smart idea.

"You said it. Those, whatever you call 'ems…"

"Leviathan." Sam supplied.

"Right, if they're in the pipes they got themselves a highway to anywhere."

Dean knows Bobby had been talking but all he could think about was Cas. He couldn't just leave him out there. He felt like he needed to say something when Bobby had stopped talking, "Awesome." His eyes looked out over the water again, waiting for Cas to pop back up when something caught his eye. His insides clenched at the sight of Cas' trenchcoat floating near the shore. He bent down and picked the soaked coat from the water.

Dean felt the ice cold shot of dread pierce his heart. His breath was shaky, "Okay," he glanced at Bobby, "so he's gone." The words sounded wrong to his ears. Cas couldn't be gone. He was never really gone.

"Yeah," Bobby shook his head slightly, "rest in peace. If that's in the cards."

Dean bit his lip in an attempt to keep back the lump forming in his throat that threatened to break him. He folded the coat with the delicate touch and care that the last remaining item of a close friend deserved. "Dumb son of a bitch." Dean's lips trembled as he spoke. The tears were definitely forming now and he wanted nothing more than to sit on the edge of the water and bury his face in Cas's coat and wait for him to return. He gripped the coat with his hand and pushed everything down. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't scream, he would push it all away and try to forget.

"He was friends with us wasn't he? You can't get much dumber than that." Dean looked up at Bobby. "Come on," Bobby reached out and put a hand on Dean's arm, "those things will be coming up for air soon."

Bobby turned to leave and Sam started after him and sent a sad glance back to Dean who was staring at the coat and holding it tight. Sam stopped, "Dean."

Dean shook his head. He couldn't leave. After everything Cas and he had been through, he couldn't leave him. He looked up at his brother, who seemed to see what he was thinking. "I can't." Dean shoved the coat at his brother and turned to run for the water that had swallowed his friend. He heard Sam shout his name but he didn't care. He would go after Cas, even if it meant his death.

Sam and Bobby ran to the water's edge with wide eyes. "Dean! Come back!" Sam was about to jump after him when Bobby grabbed his arm.

"Sam, don't make me lose all of you at once." Bobby pleaded with Sam. He was pretty sure Dean probably just signed his death warrant and he would be damned if he lost Sam too.

Dean had run out into the water as far as he could before diving under. He knew the leviathan were everywhere in the water and he had probably just killed himself, but then at least he would be with Cas. It was hard to see very far as Dean frantically searched for his friend. He could hear Sam's calls when he surfaced for air, but he wouldn't turn back now. He could feel his arms getting tired, having been injured when the leviathan threw him around. He dove under again knowing he would be too tired to surface again too many more times.

When he had almost lost all hope, a pale hand came into view seeming to reach for him. Dean grabbed it tight and pulled, soon Cas's head came into view. The black hair waved in the water as Dean pulled the unconscious man into his arms and swam for the surface, lack of oxygen burning his lungs. He broke through the surface and gasped for breath. He fought hard to stay afloat with Cas's body threatening to pull him back under. With every last bit of strength he had, Dean managed to get close enough to shore to be pulled out by Sam's strong grip. Bobby dragged Cas out of Dean's hold. Both boys were laid on the ground.

"Dean, you okay?" Sam crouched beside his brother and patted his arm.

"Yeah," Dean coughed, "I'm fine." He pushed Sam's arm off and turned onto his hands and knees. He saw Bobby checking Cas for a pulse or breath. He quickly crawled over to the suit-clad man. "Cas." He put a hand on his head, he felt so cold.

Dean looked at Bobby who shook his head lightly. Dean felt that lump in his throat again. He looked back at Cas and willed him to be alive. It couldn't end like this, it couldn't. Suddenly Cas's eyes snapped open and water shot out of Cas's mouth in a cough. Dean felt his heart leap. Cas turned to his side and coughed up the water he had swallowed.

Dean smiled and looked up at his surprised brother and a shocked Bobby. He put a hand on Cas's shoulder. "Cas, you okay?"

Cas nodded and turned onto his back. His eyes were searching the sky. He looked confused.

Dean let out a nervous laugh. "It's good to have you back, Cas." Cas looked at Dean with a sad look.

"Is it really just you, Cas?" Bobby sounded nervous.

"Bobby." Dean was happy to have Cas, why did Bobby have to bring this up.

"We need to know, Dean. One of those leviathans could be in him still."

Dean looked back to Cas. Cas shook his head and closed his eyes, "No, it's just me. The leviathan left into the water." Cas coughed lightly. "I don't know why I'm still intact."

"It doesn't matter. Let's get out of here." Dean took Cas's hand and was about to stand when Cas cried out and threw Dean back. He stumbled back a few feet and watched in horror as Cas's body lit up with blue light.

Sam and Bobby ran back and joined Dean as Cas arched off the ground, his mouth open wide in a scream. Terror froze the three watching. All of them had to overt there eyes as the blue light started to burn. Cas's back lifted off the ground and his outstretched arms raised up as light shot out of his eyes and mouth.

Then as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Cas fell silent and the light disappeared. Dean opened his eyes to see Cas lying motionless, staring up blankly. "Cas." Dean ran over and knelt beside Cas. The wide blue eyes didn't move. "Cas, dammit." Dean grabbed his suit jacket and shook him. "Come on." Cas moved like a rag doll in his hands. Dean cursed the world, cursed at everything for giving him that ray of hope and crushing it, again.

Cas gasped and looked around frantically. His breathing quickened and he groaned in pain. He took hold of Dean's arm and gave him a look of pure desperation. "What was that, Cas?" Tears filled Cas' eyes, he pulled Dean closer. "What just happened?" Dean put a hand on Cas' forehead in an attempt to calm him.

A few sobs escaped Cas before he could answer. "God."

"God?" Sam stepped up behind Dean. "How do you know?"

Cas laid his head back. "He told me." His grip loosened. "He's punishing me." He closed his eyes and tears fell down his cheeks.

"Punishing you? How?"

"He took my grace as punishment for all I did against him." Cas' hands fell from Dean's arm. "I deserve nothing less." He turned his head away from Dean.

"So you're…" Dean swallowed, "human?" Cas nodded and let out a pained sigh. Dean may not have liked Cas getting a demotion like that, but he was grateful that Cas was still alive. "Okay, we can work with that." Cas was still facing away from them and hadn't moved. Dean moved up to a crouching position and reached out a hand. "We need to go, Cas."

"Then go."

"Not without you." Dean waited a moment before taking hold of Cas's arm. Cas pushed him off and landed back on the ground.

"Just leave me."

"No." Dean stood straight and defiant. "I didn't jump into leviathan infested waters just to leave you on the ground." Dean put a hand out again.

Cas looked at Dean, "No one asked you to save me. I should have died."

"Not on my watch." Dean bent down and forcibly lifted Cas to his feet.

Bobby headed the boys off with Dean dragging Cas and Sam right behind. Sam stopped beside the trenchcoat he had dropped when Dean had jumped into the water. "Cas," Dean stopped and turned around with Cas stopping beside him, "your coat." Sam pointed to the fallen coat.

Cas gave a tired look to the dirty clothing. "Leave it. It doesn't matter." He turned before Sam could respond and walked on with a slow defeated pace. Dean looked at the coat he had always associated with the angel. Maybe it didn't matter anymore. Castiel the angel was gone. Dean turned to follow Cas, leaving behind what he knew he would never get back.