Another One Shot... or actually Two Shot. For pure entertainment, and a lot of laughs. Enjoy!

"Thank you Killian! How could I repay you!"

"No need little lad." Hook chuckles messing the boy's hair. "Just give him a good name to live by." He says with a wink.

Killian Jones hands the leather leash over to the ever so eager Henry Mills, who grins in glee at the rather large dog attached to it. He is a fairly large black lab with a white crest in front of it's chest and floppy triangle ears that perk up to the slightest sound. Captain Hook had found the stray wandering among the docks for a few days, and seeing as he didn't belong to anyone, allowed the canine to follow him places. But a ship is no place for a dog, especially Killian's precious Jolly Roger.

Killian had taken temporary ownership of the dog, feeding him every day, until the muscular canine had chased after Emma Swan's son, giving him the splendid idea of gifting the dog to the lad. It is a way to kill two bird's with one stone after all. On the one hand, he could give the dog an actual home, and on the other, he could befriend Emma's son and slowly warm his way up to her.

The boy runs along side the sandy beach, with his furry friend running after him, black tail wagging away and tongue hanging out the side. Hook stands there, arms crosses with a smile. There's no way Emma Swan could rid of him now...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Emma Swan gets up to answer her door in a tank top and pjamma bottoms. Her parents were on their friday night date, and Henry was at Regina's, so who could be at the door. She reaches the handle and pulls it open... Well... speak of the devil.

"Miss Swan, I believe it's you're lucky day." Regina snaps, her hand on Henry's shoulder. "Look's like Henry will be home early this time."

"What? Why?" But before Henry or the mayor can answer, a hairy bundle of fur hurries past them, pushing past Emma into the apartment, dirtying her couch. "What the hell!"

"Good day Miss Swan, I believe Henry will be at dinner tomorrow." The Evil Queen walks away from the door, leaving a beffuddled Sheriff to glare at her son.

"Henry... Where did you get the dog from?"

"Killian gave him to me."

"You mean..." Emma stares at him in shock. "You mean Captain Hook bought you a dog?"

"Yup."

She grabs the car keys and grabs the black lab's leash.

"Where are you going?" Henry asks, confused.

"To give Hook his dog back."

"What? No!" Henry blocks the door. "Can we please keep him? Please? He has no place to go! I'll take care of him. I'll take him for walks and feed him and bathe him and play with him and everything."

Emma looks at her son's adorable pleading hazel orbs and sighs.

"Fine. We can keep him."

"Yes!"

"But we have to give him a name. We can't just keep calling him Him."

"Hook."

"What about Hook."

"No I mean that's his name."

"What?"

"The Captain told me to give him a strong name."

"Of course he did." Emma grumbles. "So you decide to name him Hook?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry kid, you have to change it."

"But he already knows his name." Henry pouts. "Look!" He walks up to Hook, who eagerly wags his tail. "Hook." The dog instantly perks up his black floppy ears. "Sit." Hook sits. "Hook, paw." He hands him his paw. "Hook, speak." The dog instantly barks, his long tail thumping against the floor.

Emma looks up to the ceiling and groans.

"Why do you hate me?"

At Granny's, Snow and Charming are sharing a plate if spaghetti like a couple of lovers, feeding each other with the other's fork.

"I hope Emma's not too lonely without us." Snow says, taking a sip of her wine.

"She's probably fine." Charming reassures her. "But I'll call her either way."

"Hello?" Emma answers the phone.

"Hey, how's everything going over there?"

"It's fine... a little hectic, but at least I'm not alone anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no!"

"Emma? What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Oh crap! Hook just peed on the floor! I have to go!" Emma says frantically, and he can here a shuffle.

"What?" Charming exclaims, but its too late because his daughter hung up already. He looks at Snow with his mouth wide open, no one speaking until Ruby breaks the silence. Because of course she heard.

"Wow, well I told her to invite him over some time, but wow. This is really kinky, even for a pirate with a hook."

Half an hour later, Emma watches as Henry and Hook play on the floor. She can't deny that it's adorable and that a part of her wants to go to Killian and thank him. But the other part wants to drag him back here by his stupid little earing and make him clean up the urine and stool that his namesake left behind, that she had to clean. Then of course Hook went into her drawers and tore a few pieces of lingerie that she owned, causing her to have to come up with a good excuse to Henry for owning them. Because only someone named Hook would dare go into her undies... that sounds wrong.

Hook turns away from Henry and then walks up to Emma placing his head on the couch, giving her a look. Black scruffy hair and blue eyes. Wow! It even looks like him. And for a moment, Emma is pretty sure that if this dog had eyebrows it would raise one of them and give her a smoldering look.

Sighing, Emma turns to the fridge and fetches some left over roast beef, to heat some up for her and Henry... and yes... Hook.

Outside the apartment, Snow and Charming are rushing to the door, ready to take turns knocking the daylights out of a certain pirate. Suddenly they hear laughing... Henry... and then groaning... and then Emma.

"Hook! No! Bad! Stop humping the couch!"

Snow gasps, appaled.

"What is going on in there! With my grandson watching?"

Charming's fist clenches as he jams the key into the door and opens it. Of course neither of them expect what's on the other side.

Emma is standing there, face red as a tomatoe yelling at a big black dog, gripping onto the armrest of the couch... humping it. Henry is standing in the background, clutching his stomach, dying from laughter.

"What. The. Hell." Charming exclaims.

"Dad! Mom!" Emma jumps up. Clearly she wasn't expecting them.

"We thought... you said... Hook." Snow sputters.

"Oh... wait. What? No! Not the pirate... the dog."

"What? Since when do we have a dog?" Charming exclaims, the dog detaches from the couch and starts growling at him.

"Killian gave him to me!" Henry says with a wide grin.

"And he named him Hook." Emma continues. "Surprise!"

"Killian?" Snow inquires.

"We've established that if we call him Hook, things are just going to get confusing."

"Not that they already haven't" Charming groans. "Well at least I worked in an animal shelter." He kneals down lets Hook sniff him. The dog automatically growls. Great.

Don't worry, more of our favorite pirate next chapter ;) Review?