I write things like this when I'm bored and don't want to think about my real works. So, don't judge it too harshly. Well, actually. Do. I probably deserve it.

[Customary disclaimer about not owning things that aren't mine.]

Sutton did not approve of her friend's drinking habits. She tended not to hang out with him at large gatherings because of it, but he'd needed a ride this time. And they were going to the same place. And if there was one thing she was, darn it, it was environmentally friendly! At the moment, he was leaving against her window and giggling like an idiot. And, really, while he was wearing his zombie Batman costume, was starting to freak her out a little.

"Chase, shut up will you?"

They were getting close to his house and Sutton couldn't wait to shove him into his house and then get home to download her Comic Con pictures. Nerdy? Sure. But it was her thing and she wasn't sorry.

"I can't," Chase slurred in reply. "I am the dead of knight!"

And he burst into another round of drunken giggles. A grown man. Giggling. Sutton rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Whatever."

Chase's porch light came into view and she smiled widely.

"You're almost home, weirdo. Have your house key?"

She was uncertain, but it sounded like he was trying to sing some boy band song while he slapped at his pockets.

A bright light suddenly burst before them and Sutton swerved slightly while squinting from the burning her retinas were doing.

"Freaking people with their brights on."

She stopped in front of Chase's house and told him to get out of her car. The light from before had disappeared, but no car had passed. She shook it off as she stepped out of her car with only a blazer on to protect her from the cold. Then began the process of trying to drag Chase back into his house. Sutton swore she'd never give him a ride anywhere again. Who needed friends anyway? Not like this! Before entering the house, she gave a quick sweep of the street and noticed the silhouette of a group of, costumed?, people. She rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that day and made sure Chase collapsed on his couch.

More comic con hoodlums.

Bidding her friend a goodnight, and good riddance, she made her way back to her car. She quickened her pace when she noticed that the group was still in the middle of the street, and right in front of her car. In the direction she needed to go home. A couple of the guys were freakishly tall, and she didn't have her mace. With locked doors she pulled forward as far as she could and then honked her horn lightly. The group was finally able to be identified as some people cosplaying as the Avengers. While she appreciated their taste, she didn't really have time for role playing; or whatever they were doing at the moment. Errands were still waiting bright and early tomorrow.

"Hey!" She rolled down her window marginally and poked some of her head out. "Can you guys get out of the way? I'd like to get home tonight."

The entire group turned to face her, but didn't seem too intent on moving.

"Ma'am," one man spoke up. "You really need to leave the area. It's not a safe-"

"Yeah, yeah. You've got big bad Loki to battle, but listen. Take it somewhere else. You can't play in the middle of the street."

"Excuse me?"

For the first time, Sutton noticed a glowing blue orb and she blinked. Finally focusing on the faces around her car visible with the headlights, she couldn't tell if she should be impressed or extremely concerned.

"You guys, uh, seriously did a good job of finding doppelgangers. It's almost...disconcerting."

The one dressed as Loki stood off in the shadows, but she could see his eyes gleaming as they watched her.

"Listen, kid. I don't know if you hit your head or something, but you need to back up and leave the crime fighting to the professionals."

The man dressed like Iron Man's face plate flipped up and Sutton jolted in her seat. It moved! And it was kind of hard not to recognize the Robert Downey Jr.

"Are you drunk," she asked.

"Surprisingly, not today."

She was going to call their bluff. She really was. All the words were there to call them fanatics and crazy, or overcommitted, but they all died in her throat. They died because she heard a reverberating grunt, and then it stepped out from the darkness her car lights didn't touch. A tingling sensation ran down her face as it grew cold and she gripped the steering wheel.

"Holy crap."

"Yeah."

"HOLY CRAP."

Sutton threw open her door and stumbled out of her car to scurry back around it.

It was the Hulk.

Not, like, a man painted green or some freaky animatronic puppet, but the Hulk. She could see his muscles flexing, his grimace as he glanced in her direction, and she could feel his growl as he went back to keeping his eyes on Loki. Loki.

"You, you guys are-are the Avengers! How the- am I drunk?"

"Ma'am," said Captain freaking America. "I'm going to have to ask you to calm down."

"Well isn't that a grand idea!"

This is what she would classify as a Level Ten Freak Out. She knew she'd always been saving it for something. Despite it, she didn't miss the look that the assassins shared with each other.

"How do you know about the Avengers?" Hawkeye's fingers were twitching over his bow.

"Huh, good point. I thought we were all part of Fury's top secret boy band. Plus one chick."

Black Widow shot him a glare.

"Where are we, mortal?"

Sutton peeked around her hood to see Thor frowning down at her. Loki was right behind him, so she quickly looked away.

Not Tom Hiddleston. NOT Tom Hiddleston.

They all seemed to be in consensus on the question, and all seemed to expect an answer.

"Um, Puyallup. Washington. The state, not D.C."

Gosh, she got tired of people always assuming she meant the capital.

The team seemed to be initially shocked, gasps ringing out among them. Then they seemed to mull it over, unanimously come to the conclusion that it was Loki's fault, and brought their attention back to her.

"That still doesn't explain how you know about a secret government program, or why you seem to be wearing earth's current top villain on your shirt."

That comment from Black Widow didn't help her lose the team's interest. Leave it to the girl to notice her fashion choices.

She winced and tried to close her blazer over the tee in question.

Great. Now even Loki seems intrigued.

"Look," she said while edging toward her car door. "This is hard to explain, I mean, it's crazy. I'm probably insane or going to have traumatic psychological damage from this. Your best course of action is to have Loki teleport you back home. The sooner the better actually."

"Right. Like we're going to trust him with our well being," spat Hawkeye. "Wait. You know this guy?"

Sutton shriveled further next to her car.

"Even if you begged for my help, I could do no such thing," Loki spoke up. "Nor would I. The power of the Tesseract has faded from my grasp, thanks to your stupidity."

"Brother, now is not the time."

"I am not your brother."

"Can we dial down the angst here for a second?" Tony seemed to have decided that the fight had died down, and Sutton watched in awe as his suit folded itself down into a box.

"I didn't know that model did that," she muttered to herself. But Tony quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Kid, can we hurry this conversation along so we can get out of here. Spill. I have things to do. Like Pepper."

Sutton swore she saw Captain America blush.

"Short version?"

"Preferably."

Sutton took a deep breath and straightened her blazer. She brushed off some imaginary lint and fixed her hair. She sighed.

"Well, here, you don't really...exist."

"Come again?"

Tony leaned back on his left leg and crossed his arms; Sutton huffed.

"Look! I don't know if this is some very elaborate and convincing," she glanced at the Hulk, "prank, or what. But you are comic book characters. Actors, icons, whatever. I don't know if you jumped dimensions or something, but I feel like I'm going a little crazy, ok?"

Captain America actually walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder and she could only freeze and stare at him in wonder.

"We're sorry, miss..."

"Sutton."

"Miss Sutton, if this has put pressure on you, but you have to understand were we're coming from too."

"Of course."

She saw Tony roll his eyes skyward and she scowled. The team was either looking at her like she was crazy or mind controlled. She felt her nerves spike.

"You want proof? Ok. Fine."

It would have been the perfect opportunity to roll her shoulders and crack her knuckles, but she refrained. She pointed to each person in turn.

"Pepper saved your first arc reactor and it saved your life, you are good at art and had a date, you tried to kill yourself and failed, something happened in Budapest, you were hit by a car twice, and you're a fro-"

At the look Loki was shooting her she froze.

"Um. You're good at lying."

The group was quiet, each contemplating her statements before Tony piped up.

"Yup. She definitely knows too much."

They finally came to an agreement that the Avengers would not arrest her and hold her for questioning and, in return, she would give them a ride and a place to stay. Sutton felt like she didn't really win in the trade off.

I should have stuck with Chase. At least he just sleeps.

So, after the Hulk had calmed down enough to revert to (a semi-naked) Bruce Banner, they all crammed into her small SUV and she puttered home.

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