Damn...can't believe it's been so long since I updated this story. So very sorry about the wait, but thankfully the end has come. Finally, the resolution to Gray's and Lucy's separation. Thank you all for gracing me with your support on this story and for being so very patient with me. I am honored to have such incredible followers.

Shout out to my two besties, Deathsembrace137 and Nicole4211 for always being there for me when I panic about my stories and always being willing to read over my work. Love you guys so much!

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

~~~~~~~~~ COME WAKE ME UP ~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 4

"Lucy, after you called me last night, I realized how much I missed you. I never should have left."

I felt my eyes widen at his admission, and almost instantly a flash of hope shot through my heart. With a firm denial, I quickly shut it down. I didn't have the luxury of that fickle emotion anymore. It had done nothing for me but lifted my expectations and then sent me crashing to the ground.

I didn't want to play this game anymore. I couldn't handle the back and forth of love. People always leave...that's what I'd learned. It had taken me so long to get the point, but Gray had finally hammered it home for me. People didn't stay together, they didn't forgive and forget, and they didn't love unconditionally. They just...left.

Swallowing down the cry that ached to spring from my mouth, I looked at the man that had claimed to love me. I remembered every time he had assured me that he'd always be there for me. Those words had been a balm to my broken soul. They had made me feel safe for the first time in so long, and without a moment's hesitation, I had given him my heart.

But it hadn't taken much to make him give it back. He had set aside my love like it meant nothing to him, and left a hole in my chest wide enough to encompass the whole world. At least that's how it felt, and that hole still sat there, open and more painful than anything I'd ever experienced.

And now he was here, but so what? It didn't change what had happened, didn't erase the loneliness I'd lived through. Nothing could take away the nights I'd cried for him, the things I'd had to do to survive. He'd left, and no amount of wishing could take that back.

I glanced over at him and challenged, "But you did leave..."

He winced at my frank words, his eyes misting at the reminder of what he'd done. "I know I did Lucy, and if I could take it all back, I would. I know I hurt you-"

"Hurt?" I laughed mirthlessly, then shook my head. "Hurt doesn't even begin to cover it. You have no idea..." I cut myself off, knowing it was pointless. Why was I trying to explain it to him?

"Then tell me," he urged, taking a step closer and lifting his hand as if he'd brush those long fingers across my cheek.

Once again, I bristled at his attempt. "Don't..." I said softly. I knew if he touched me now, it would weaken my resolve, and more than ever, I needed my strength of will. I'd never survive this without it.

"Lucy..." His voice cracked, that lovely deep voice that had once offered me such calm and peace, and I fought to ignore the spike in my pulse.

I'd always loved hearing him say my name, loved the way the sound tripped off of his tongue, and though I couldn't stop the jolt it still sent through me, I knew I had to resist. I had to find a way to put that aside along with a thousand other things I loved about him, because loving him made me weak. I could no longer allow myself to remember, to reminisce about something that would never be again. It was just too painful.

I had given him everything once. I'd held nothing back, kept no part of me safe, and what had it gotten me in return? Days of endless pain, nights of loneliness and regret, hours upon hours of mourning what might have been. I was lost, a shell of what I used to be, and I knew I would never be the same again.

Something had been damaged inside me, some essential part of who I was broken beyond repair. Maybe it was just my hope that was gone, thrown out the same way he'd thrown aside my heart. I wasn't sure, but I recognized something. This was it for me. I'd never try again. It just hurt too damn much when it all fell apart.

"Lucy," Gray tried again to reach me with his words. "Please don't do this...don't push me away."

His heartfelt plea tore at me, and without conscious thought, my eyes teared. Why was he doing this to me? I hadn't been the one to walk away. "No," I sniffed, brushing the wetness away. "I didn't choose this, Gray. You did."

"I didn't want this," Gray denied tearfully with a shake of his head. He raised his hand again as if to touch me, then dropped it to his side helplessly. "I never wanted to be without you. I just...I felt so betrayed."

A bitter smile touched my lips as I watched him through watery eyes. "I guess you wanted to make sure I knew what that felt like. Well...you succeeded."

His face was a mask of pain as he pleaded, "Lucy, no...that wasn't my intention."

"You know...I screwed up so bad with you. I made such a huge mistake, and all this time, I hated myself for it. I beat myself up about it everyday, and I missed you. God, I missed you so much..." My voice trembled as the pain welled up again. "I've spent the last three months in hell for what I did. I couldn't sleep without getting drunk first, couldn't eat. I couldn't get you out of my head."

"I know!" he cried, tears streaming down his face as he tried to pull me into his arms.

With a shout of anger, I pushed him away. "No! You don't know! You don't know anything! For three months, I waited for you." I slapped a hand over my chest, shaking my head almost violently. "I needed you! But you weren't there." Suddenly, the rage was gone, replaced with that awful well of pain I'd become so familiar with, and I whimpered, "You always said you'd be there..." With that, the dam broke, and I spun around, flying back into the bathroom and slamming the door.

I pressed my back against the door and sank to the floor as great heaving sobs racked my body. Why had he come back? I had finally decided I needed to move on. I'd finally faced reality, and then he returns to shake my determination. Why?

His voice filtered through the door, a sad broken version of his usual deep rasp. "Lucy please..." He paused, and I heard him lean against the wood that separated us.

I could hear the longing in his voice, and though it tugged at me, I shook the emotion away. He wasn't mine anymore, and I had to start remembering that. "Just go Gray..."

"No," he uttered forlornly but firmly. "I'm not making the same mistake again."

My heart throbbed in my chest at his declaration, everything inside me aching to believe him, to trust that he'd never leave my side again, but I couldn't, not with the memory of that phone call so fresh in my mind, not when I could still hear that woman he'd been with.

It had been obvious from the easy way she spoke to him that they were comfortable with each other, that their relationship wasn't new. It had been like another knife in my heart. I'd called him in a weak moment, drunk and vulnerable, and though I didn't remember everything I'd said, I felt certain I'd spilled my guts about how much I loved him.

Then the woman had spoken, and it had been like being tossed into a frozen lake, instantly sobering my alcohol-addled mind. It had woken me up almost instantly, and I'd hung up feeling like a fool. In that moment, I'd realized the truth...he'd moved on.

It was one of the most painful bits of understanding I'd ever had to come to in my life, and I had felt that sting of betrayal all the way to my soul. I couldn't comprehend how he could have moved on so quickly, how his love for me could mean so little.

I felt...raw. Never had anything cut me so deep. I had been barely surviving without him, and he'd already started moving forward, starting a new life with someone else. How could he already have forgotten about us? How could he have replaced me so fast?

Bitterness seeping into my veins, I sighed and swallowed down my sadness. "Just go home, Gray...go back to your new woman."

There was silence for a moment, then he leaned heavily on the door. "Lucy..." he said, sounding slightly stunned at my statement, "She's not...I don't-"

I cut him off, not wanting to hear anymore about this mystery woman. Wasn't it enough that I had to live with it? "Just leave!" My voice caught in my throat as I snapped at him. I couldn't handle any more. The despair I'd fought with for the last three months swept over me, drowning me in an anguish so profound I felt like I would suffocate. It was all just too much.

Through the wood at my back, I heard Gray shuffle, then move away from the door with a deep sigh. In the next moment, my heart welled with sadness as once again, he walked away. Yes, I'd told him to go, but it still hurt that he had listened. He hadn't fought to stay with me, just like he hadn't fought to keep us together before. He'd simply left me behind like a piece of furniture he no longer wanted, and now he was doing it again.

I didn't know why I'd expected anything else, but some rebellious part of me had held on defiantly to the hope that this time would be different. And the fact that I'd been so wrong again hit me hard, demolishing the pitiful remains of my faith.

Would I never get over this? Would I never be able to feel whole without him?

I sat there on the floor, my heart in tatters, and I cried. I let my sobs drown out the quiet, let them wash over me until I could find no more tears to cry. I was numb, lost in that place of emptiness Gray had left behind when he'd abandoned me.

Lost and alone...I should have been used to it by now, but Gray's presence had thoroughly torn through the fragile dregs of my strength. I was bereft of warmth, and I was so damn tired...tired of life kicking me around, tired of losing everyone I loved, tired of fighting a losing battle. Was I destined to live life on the outskirts of happiness? Was that all that awaited me?

If so, I was done. I didn't want to care anymore. I didn't want to keep trying to connect with people, to find some common ground only to have it all fade away. I would live this life on my own and pray love never found its way to me again.

I fumbled my way down the stairs, my eyes filled with bitter tears. She'd turned me away, reminding me that I had chosen this path. It had effectively cut me off at the knees, and God, it hurt.

But seeing her that way had been so much worse. She had tried so hard to hide it from me, but her eyes had given it away, flashing with so much pain. It was like looking at a younger Lucy, the one I'd found long ago. Her soul had been broken then, just as it was now, and the fact that I'd done that to her killed me.

Reaching the kitchen, I sank into a chair at the bar and dropped my head into my hands. It was all my fault. She was right about that. I'd made the decision to leave her. I'd ignored her attempts to explain. I'd abandoned her, just like everyone in her past had.

I couldn't believe how badly I'd messed up. I was a fool, a goddamned fool. I'd had it all, and I'd traded it away for a life of emptiness. How had I ever believed I could live without her, without the promise of her smile, the warmth of her arms, the love in her heart?

My throat closed at the realization that I just might have to. There was a good possibility that she'd never forgive me, that she couldn't find it in herself to trust me again. She'd been so closed off when I'd met her, so unwilling to give anyone a chance to get inside that wall she'd erected, but I had convinced her. I'd promised her I was different, that I would never hurt her, never abandon her, but I had.

Pain speared through my heart, and I choked on the waves of regret it brought. I had broken every promise I'd made her by walking away. I had forgotten the vows I'd made to her, and now I suppose I was getting what I deserved.

I had done this to myself. No, I had done this to us, and I didn't know how the hell to fix it. How could I prove to her that I would never again leave her? How could I make her see that I had never stopped loving her?

Would I ever get the chance to try? I couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever let me show her the love in my heart. She seemed so determined to shut me out, to keep me at arm's length. She was trying to protect herself. I understood it, but it still ripped me to shreds.

At one time, she'd have never felt like she had to protect herself from me. Back then, I'd been the one person she trusted implicitly, and now that was all gone...all because I'd let my pride get in the way. The truth was she had messed up, but I had done something far worse. I'd let my hurt and anger overwhelm me, and I'd made the biggest mistake of my life.

Now, I may have lost the only woman I'd ever loved, and I didn't have a clue what to do about it. How would I live without her? I didn't kid myself that I would find someone new to take her place in my heart. That spot would always be Lucy's. There would never be anyone but her.

So how could I say goodbye to her again? How could I walk away when I felt like I'd been given a second chance? That woman was everything to me, and though I had possibly destroyed things between us permanently, I wasn't sure I could ever stop hoping she'd come back to me.

Before long, I heard her coming down the stairs, her footsteps heavy with weariness. My stomach tightened with nerves at her arrival. I wasn't ready, hadn't yet found the words to convince her to give me another shot. What could I say? What would make her see the truth?

I was no closer to an answer than I'd been before in the bedroom, but I was out of time. As her steps moved closer, I climbed from the seat and turned to the doorway, intent on facing her and somehow finding a way to repair things between us. She came around the corner looking haggard, her eyes swollen and red from crying, her mouth tipped down with despair. The sight clawed at my bruised heart, and I winced.

I'd hurt her so much, and I knew my presence here had made things worse. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't walk away when I knew this was it. There were no more chances after this, and I refused to blow it. I could make her happy again. I knew I could. I just needed her to give me the time to prove it.

"Lucy..."

Her head shot up at my voice, her eyes widening with surprise. I could see scores of emotions flash across her face, and then it all closed down. "What are you still doing here?"

Ignoring the way she'd hidden her feelings away, I moved closer. "I told you...I'm not making the same mistake twice."

"I told you to leave, Gray. I'm not playing this game with you," she snapped, scooting around me to head for the refrigerator.

I reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. I knew it was possibly the worst idea, but I couldn't keep letting her walk away. I needed her to hear me. "This isn't a game, Lucy. I love you."

"Bullshit! Tell it to your new lady friend," she shouted, ripping her arm out of my grasp.

She stood there, her eyes flashing with anger and something I'd become accustomed to feeling...betrayal. She thought I'd betrayed her, replaced her with someone else, and she couldn't be farther from the truth. No one could ever take her place. I shook my head at her assumption and took her in my arms. "I do love you...more than you can ever know. I never stopped."

"No...that's not true." She struggled against my hold for a moment, but I refused to let her go. I knew if I did, I would lose her forever.

"It is true." Lifting a hand to her face, I brushed at the fresh tears that slipped down her cheeks. "And there is no new woman in my life. She's a friend...nothing more."

She blinked up at me, a mixture of hope and distrust etched on her face. The distrust cut me deep, but seeing hope in her expression sent my heart soaring. She had stopped trying to get away too, and that gave me a measure of hope that maybe she was finally hearing me. "There's no one else for me, Lucy. It's always been you..."

Her lip trembled, and she looked down, refusing to meet my eyes. "But...you left me. How could you do that if you...loved me?" she whispered brokenly.

My eyes misted at her question, and for a moment my throat closed. How could I explain it all to her? "What you did hurt me a lot, Lucy. I won't lie about that, and it made me question myself...made me question you." I sighed, remembering all the fears that had plagued me at the time. "I had always trusted you, and then after everything happened, I couldn't. I didn't know how to. I felt like maybe I didn't know you as well as I thought I did."

As I talked her head began to rise, her eyes meeting mine again. I could see understanding in their depths, a shared anguish over trust lost, and I wondered if maybe this was what she'd needed to hear all along. Our situations weren't so different after all. We'd both broken the other's trust, demolished all the hard-won faith we'd built together, and Lucy was now struggling with it the same way I had when I'd left.

"Lucy, it took that call from you yesterday for me to realize the truth. I still wanted to be with you, and I could finally see why I had stayed away. I was afraid...I was so damn afraid of trusting you again. It hurt so much when you let me down, and I didn't want to feel that way again. So, I shut you out. I tried to forget you, but I couldn't. You're a part of me," I said, then lifted her hand and set it over my heart. "You're always right here."

Her eyes filled with tears as she glanced down at our hands settled on my chest. "I'm sorry, Gray...I'm so so...sorry..." she sobbed, her voice cracking painfully. "I didn't mean to-"

"Shhh...I know that." I tugged her forward, tucking her head beneath my chin and just held her. I sighed as she relaxed in my arms and buried her face in my shirt. A wave of relief washed over me at her actions. She hadn't pushed me away. She was letting me touch her, letting me comfort her. Maybe things weren't as hopeless as they'd seemed.

Still, I knew it wasn't over yet. I still had to convince her to give our relationship another try, and if she was having as much trouble trusting me as I had her, it was going to be anything but easy. I just hoped she was willing to make the attempt.

I tightened my arms around her slight body before I let go and lifted my hands to her face. There were things I needed to say, and I wanted her to see how serious I was about her. Raising her head, I looked down into teary eyes and felt my heart swell. This had to work. Somehow, I had to make her understand.

I trailed a hand lightly down her face, taking a moment to relish in the allowance to touch her, before I let my eyes return to hers. "I know you're having a hard time believing me, but I swear I'm done running. I love you, Lucy, and I'm not going anywhere. I want this...I want us again." I felt desperate, anxiety flaring up inside me, because this was the moment of truth. In this space of time, I would learn what the future would hold for us, and if she couldn't do this, it would destroy me. Feeling my eyes mist over, I whispered, "I'm so sorry I left you, baby. I know I hurt you, but please...don't make me live without you."

Her eyes widened at my plea, and she swallowed hard. I knew it would be hard for her to choose to put her faith in me again, and I couldn't help but fear that she would turn me away. I fought for hope, prayed that she could find it in herself to give us another chance.

I had done what I could. Now the decision was in her hands, and all I could do was wait. The moments ticked by, the silence interminable until she uttered a soft, "Okay."

The world seemed to stop at that one word. Such a simple word, but the way it sent my heart bursting in my chest was beyond anything I could have imagined. A choked sob spilled from deep inside me, and with it an overwhelming sense of peace. She was mine again. She hadn't given up on us, and as that thought settled in my mind, I let my head dip, dropping my mouth down over hers.

It was like coming home, our joined lips bridging the gap that had opened between us over the last few months. I knew it wasn't a fix for all the issues we still needed to get through, but it was a start. And as we stood there clinging to each other, I knew we would make it. We had gone through hell and back, but we'd made it. In spite of the odds, we'd found our way back to each other, and that's what we'd do for the rest of our lives. She was mine, and I was hers...and that was never going to change.

Our kiss trailing off into light touches and gentle presses of our lips, I pressed my forehead against hers and sighed, "I love you so much, Lucy."

She brushed her nose across mine and left a soft kiss on my mouth before she smiled. "I love you too, Gray..."