Chapter One: Of Book Forts and Toerags
"Lily!" Severus grumbled, as he and Lily made their way down a slightly crowded corridor towards the library. They were each carrying their bags, filled to the brim with O.W.L. notes and textbooks seeing as how tomorrow, they were going to take their last two exams. Astronomy in the morning and Defense Against the Dark Arts in the afternoon. Severus was not currently complaining about how Lily wanted to spend the afternoon, but more about where she wanted to spend it. "The library is going to be packed with prats who waited till the last minute to study for their O.W.L.s. I don't want to go there."
"It's a library, Sev." Lily said, rolling her eyes and waving at a random student as they walked passed them. Severus ducked his head to avoid eye contact. "Other people are allowed to be there."
"We could go study somewhere else." He suggested. "Like an empty classroom. No one would bother us there."
"Severus Snape," Lily said, turning to face him with her hands on her hips. She had a playful smile on her lips, but Severus didn't think she was about to agree with him. "You know the reputation those classrooms have. You don't really expect me to go there, do you?"
"We would just be studying, Lils. You've been hanging out with Potter too much."
"What does that even mean?" She asked, and then without waiting for an answer she added, "Besides, we're already at the library, there's no need to find somewhere else now."
"I really don't think this is a good idea, Lily." He said, stopping just short of the entrance.
"Why?" She asked, narrowing her eyes slightly but meaningfully. "Are you worried that one of your friends might see you studying with me?"
Severus sighed at the tired accusation. "Of course not. It's just going to be loud and we might not get our table."
"Then we'll sit somewhere else." Lily said not seeming at all worried. She then turned on her heel, grabbed his arm and pushed the door to the library open. Reluctantly, he allowed her to pull him inside; and just as he had suspected, the library was extremely full. Lily however didn't seem to mind in the slightest and walked quickly through the clusters of studying students.
There was an unspoken rule that unless it was absolutely necessary, only the fifth and seventh years were allowed in the library this week. And even with five of the seven years missing, the library still seemed to be bursting at the seams.
"Where are we going!" He protested, trying to get her to stop at their miraculously empty table near the side window. "Our table is empty, look."
"We're not sitting there today." Lily said, as she kept walking towards the back.
"But it's our table." He said with more emphasize, just in case she had misunderstood the first time. "And it's right in the middle of the Charms and Potions section. Your favorite classes."
"We've already taken our Charms and Potions O.W.L.s though, so that's not really useful is it? We have our Defense O.W.L. tomorrow so that's the section of the library we should sit in."
"But- alright." Unable to find fault in her argument, he relented. He then followed her through the maze of shelves and students until they reached the back of the library and the Defense section. There weren't many tables back here, just a few small ones spread out sporadically and one large circular table near the very back wall wedged in between a three book cases and another smaller table. He was loath to see that it was full of Gryffindor girls and Lily was headed straight for it. "You didn't say anything about-"
"Hullo everyone!" Lily said brightly, ignoring Severus completely. "You don't mind if Sev joins us, do you?"
"I don't care who's here," Mary said, her nose buried in her textbook. "But if he makes one derisive comment about anything, or if he talks at all actually, I'm going to hex him for distracting me."
"Mary, have you ever thought about investing in anger management." Marlene sighed from her seat next to the frustrated brunette. "And if you actually bothered to study with us for the last month, you wouldn't be so frustrated right now. Hullo, Severus."
"Marlene." He greeted curtly. Lily dropped into the empty chair next to Marlene and then looked at Severus expectantly.
"Sit." She ordered when he did nothing. Slowly, and begrudgingly, he lowered himself onto the chair next to her and pulled a book out of his bag. "So," She turned her attention to Marlene. "What are we working on right now?"
"We're going over the correct wand technique for shield charms." She said. "I keep getting them all mixed up though. I was fine until I wanted to practice them back to back, now they're all running together."
"You need to stop stressing yourself out. You know this stuff. We've been practicing, you know you know it. I know you know it."
"And I know a way to help you remember the difference, Marlene." Severus said quietly. Throughout the past five years at Hogwarts, Severus had been forced to spend much more time than he wanted to with Lily's other friends. Marlene was the one he disliked the least. "When you're doing th-"
"Shut up!" Mary snapped. "I'm trying to read here."
"I'm just trying to help her!" Severus retorted.
"You're distracting me, and I'm going to hex you."
"No you're not." Lily said exasperatedly. "We're here to study Mary. Sev can help Marlene if he wants."
"Whatever." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and went back to her book.
Before Severus could continue helping Marlene, Remus walked up to the table and sat down on Severus's left. "I hope you don't mind if I join you." He said sounding annoyed. "But if I have to sit with those gits for any longer, I'm going to lose it." There were several bangs from the direction Remus had come from and Peter's voice could be heard cursing James for singeing his eyebrows. "They're playing Exploding Snap."
"Idiots." Mary muttered. "If you talk-"
"She'll hex you." Marlene finished with a grin. "We don't mind at all if you join us, Remus. And I could actually use your help with this."
"Sure, what do you need?" He asked, leaning over the table to look at her notes.
"This was fun." Severus said standing up and grabbing his things. "But I'll see you later, Lily."
"Sev, you said you would- Sev. Sev. Okay, he's gone." Lily sighed, shaking her head at Severus's retreating figure.
"You didn't really think he was going to stay, did you?" Mary asked. Lily picked up a broken quill that was sitting on the table and threw it at her.
"Bugger off, Mary."
At a slightly smaller, square table not too far from the girls and Remus, the other three Marauders were engaged in various activities. James and Peter were playing Exploding Snap while Sirius was hiding behind a wall of books, including their textbooks, tossing bits of parchment at people as they walked by.
"I'm so glad that we have a deaf librarian." Sirius laughed as a piece of paper he had just thrown, got lodged in Dedalus Diggle's ear. He ignored the scathing look the Hufflepuff sent his way and added, "It almost makes the library a fun place to hang out."
"If it weren't for the depressing activities going on around us." James agreed.
"You mean the studying?" Peter asked.
"No, Peter. I'm talking about the wild Quidditch game going on in the corner. Yes, I mean the studying." James said, as the cards exploded again during Peter's turn. "Another point for me."
"I'm really not good at this game, James. I've already lost most of my eyebrows. Can we do something else?"
"Your eyebrows are replaceable." James shrugged. "And besides, what else is there to do?"
"You could always join me." Sirius said, ducking behind his wall as the librarian walked by with her cart of books. He snickered when he saw her pause at a shelf that he had emptied to make his fortress.
"She's going to ban you for life." James said, while flipping his cards over. "I don't want to be a part of that. I might actually want to use the library for its real purpose next year or something."
"You've been talking to Evans too much, mate. Your personality is suffering."
"I'm playing Exploding Snap in the library during O.W.L.s week. I'm pretty sure she's not having that strong of an influence over me." James said as he reached over and pushed Sirius wall of books on top of him.
"Oi!" Sirius yelled, catching Madam Dewey's attention. "I worked hard on that!" He picked up a book and drew back his arm to throw it at James just as Peter made the cards explode once again. Just as the book was about to leave his hand, Madam Dewey grabbed his arm and wrenched the book from his grasp.
"Out." She said with more menace than her five foot frame should have allowed. "You three are banned from the library for the rest of term." She turned around and started muttering to herself. "Exploding Snap… no respect for the books… mindless fools."
Sirius rubbed his arm where her hand had been. "She's got quite the grip for being over a century old." He muttered. "Let's grab Remus and head back to the common room."
"This is your fault." James said, smacking Sirius over the back of the head.
"You're the one who knocked my wall down."
"You're the idiot who shouted in the library when Dewey was right in front of us."
"You're both idiots." Peter interjected. "Now let's go before she comes back."
"Not without Remus." Sirius said. The boys all walked over to gather their friend.
"Remus, we're leaving." James informed him as he reached the table. "Come on. Maybe we'll stop by the kitchens."
"We've only been here for fifteen minutes!" Remus exclaimed. "I'm not leaving. I'm here to study, which is something that wouldn't hurt the lot of you to try."
"We appreciate the suggestion, mate." James said with a cheeky grin on his face. "But if we're going to study, it's not going to be here."
"And why in the blazing hell is that?" Remus asked, setting his quill down and crossing his arms over his chest.
"We all got kicked out." Sirius shrugged. Remus closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.
"Wow, you managed to last a whole fifteen minutes before you got kicked out?" Lily asked sarcastically. "I think that's a new record."
"You are so clever, Evans." James said dryly while running a hand through his hair. "I'm just dying over here." Lily stuck her tongue out at him and pulled a face which James returned.
"You didn't get kicked out, you got us banned for the whole term." Peter said.
"The term is almost over, Pete. Don't worry about it." Sirius said, clapping him on the back. "So are you coming with us or not, Remus?"
"And keep in mind, that you don't have a choice." James grinned.
"I'm not going with you." Remus said, ducking his head back over his book. "And I'd like to see you try and make me."
"But we're going to the kitchens, Remus!" James said.
"Going to the kitchens is not a viable excuse for leaving the library on the night before an exam," replied Remus. Sirius and Peter gasped.
"You take that back!" said Sirius as he caught the edge of the table, pretending to faint with shock. In a huff, he straightened and dramatically walked all the way across the library, pausing at the entrance and looking over his shoulder. "Are you blokes coming or what?" He shouted, causing everyone in the library to turn and look at him and Madam Dewey to storm over, grab his ear, and forcefully remove him out of the library.
"Sorry about him. We're working on housetraining still, he hasn't caught the basics yet and-" James began to apologize but was interrupted by Remus's elbow to the gut. Marlene raised her eyebrow at Remus's action, but no one else seemed to notice. "Really though, do any of you lot want to come with?"
"No, we're going to try and do some more revising before lights out. We'll see you later." Lily turned back to her book, a clear dismissal. James' gaze lingered on Lily for another moment before he shrugged and waved Peter away from the girls.
"Come on, Wormtail, let's go."
Almost exactly twenty-four hours later on the grounds of Hogwarts, close to the shore of the Black Lake…
"Evans!" James called after Lily as she stormed towards the castle. "Hey, EVANS!" Lily pushed through the throng of people surrounding the boys, ignoring people trying to talk to her. Marlene hurried after her.
"Lily, wait!" called Marlene, but she didn't slow down until she reached the third floor. She had just finished her O.W.L.s. She was meant to be celebrating. Why did those two always have to ruin things for her? Marlene caught up to her fairly quickly and, breathing heavily, tried to placate her. "Lily, it's going to be okay, he was just embarrassed-" And that's where Lily lost the rest of her self-control.
"That doesn't give him any right to call me that! He knows what it means, he knows that Mudbloods are being murdered and treated like shit!" Lily stopped and threw her bag on the ground. She let out a wordless shout of anger and pounded the wall with her fist. Marlene stared wide-eyed at her usually sensible and serene best friend. For a moment, both of the girls stood in silence, neither one of them completely sure what Lily was doing. Then Lily decided that she didn't care and threw her hands up, continuing her tirade.
"Do you know what he told me about his friends attacking Mary in the corridor a few weeks ago? He told me they were just having a bit of fun and didn't mean to hurt anyone. A bit of fun, can you believe it? He called Dark magic 'a bit of fun' and then pretended as if I was overreacting. I didn't push it because I thought we were trying to be friends! Because I didn't want to lose him.
"But now he's completely gone back and says that word to me and he's always said that it didn't matter. He promised that my being a Muggle-born didn't matter, and then he said that! Marlene, he told me it didn't matter. I thought we were friends, I thought we were going to patch things up and be back to normal!"
"Lily, he was embarrassed, I'm sure he didn't mean to say it. It probably just slipped out. You two are just having a row; you've been having those lately." Marlene's attempt to soothe her friend went unnoticed.
"I am not friends with Severus Snape anymore," said Lily with finality. She held a serious face for a moment longer before dissolving into tears and letting herself slide down the wall to sit on the floor. Marlene was now at a complete loss for words, but after a slight moment of hesitation, she slid down to join Lily on the floor and put an arm around her.
"I just thought we could fix things, Marlene. I thought he was going to change, that this Dark persona was just a phase to show off, to fit in with his housemates. But this is too much. I can't keep pretending that he's the nine-year-old I met in the park and I don't want to keep justifying my friendship with him to you. I shouldn't have ever had to justify being friends with him." Marlene nodded and awkwardly patted the other girl's shoulder. The girls stayed there for a while longer, with Lily letting out random outbursts of anger and Marlene making comforting remarks and agreeing. Finally, when Lily had stopped crying and was feeling more sad than angry, Marlene convinced her to go back to the dormitories so they can finish packing. She was hoping to distract Lily. However, once they're in the common room, it was quickly made clear that any attempts to distract Lily were futile, because James quickly made his way towards her.
"Listen, Evans, about earlier…Can we talk about it?"
"What's to talk about?" Lily said flatly. Marlene and James exchanged a look.
"Evans, not sure if you remember or not, but there were some things said earlier and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"You mean you wanted to make sure I wasn't angry with you?" Lily said, still not showing any emotion.
James cracked a grin. "Well, yeah. I suppose that was part of it. So, are you angry with me?"
"Why would I be angry with you James? What did you do?" Lily asked, in the same flat tone. Marlene looked nervously at her friend, sensing the on-coming explosion. James, however, was still completely oblivious.
"Umm…" James, still smiling, shrugged. "I guess I didn't do much of anything. Snivellus on the oth-"
"Do not call him that." Lily said firmly, taking a threatening step towards James.
"Right, sorry." James said, his smile faltering slightly. "I meant Snape."
"I knew what you meant." Silence fell between them again. James' smile had completely left his face, Marlene was eyeing Lily anxiously, and Lily had gone white with internal fury.
"About the giant squid comment though. Were you being serious, or…?"
"Is that all you care about, Potter? I just lost my best friend because you and your friends decided to be prats and show off like you always do!"
"I think you and your poor judge of character are partially to blame for that. A flobberworm could see that he was a bad egg!" Marlene winced at James' remarks. She hoped that the oncoming disagreement would be a short one, because Lily had been through enough already, and she really did have to finish packing.
"Excuse me?" Lily shouted. And with that died Marlene's hope of getting anything done tonight.
"Listen, I think everyone's had a long day. We had an exam, let's all just go to dinner and cool off a little bit."
"Shut up Marlene," Lily said vehemently, causing the girl to flinch back. "You come over here, Potter, and try and laugh off the fact that you definitely played a defining role in what happened today, then expect me to fall into your arms because you tried to save me? Really, I thought you had a better grip on reality than this. If you want me to be completely honest, I meant every single word that I said today. Especially the ones about you being a toerag, and the part about the giant squid."
"Oh alright, Miss Can-Do-No-Wrong. Still taking his side even though he called you a you-know-what in front of half the school." James stepped closer and glared down at Lily, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I thought that would have proved to you once and for all what kind of person he was."
"I'm not taking his side, Potter. This isn't even about you at all. I know you're not used to not having the world revolve around you every second, but it's about time you realized that it doesn't. Apparently, your judgment of character has given you friends that can't tell you that you're not the most important person in the world."
"At least my friends don't call me things like that and expect me to still be nice to them." James decided to not press the issue any farther and tried to stalk away. Lily followed him across the common room, spouting angry insults at his retreating back until he whirled around.
"You know what your problem is, Evans? Your problem is that you're really surprised that this happened. You're living in a world of sunshine and daisies and you expect everyone to act how you want them to, but that's not how people work. They change as they grow up and they disappoint you and hurt you. I think it's about time you realized that. You march around telling me to grow up, but why don't you do us all a favor and take your own advice?" Lily was speechless, and James took advantage of that to make his way up the stairs. The door to the boys' dormitory could be heard slamming shut throughout the quiet common room. As Lily stood there in shock, the people around her started whispering and she felt her eyes begin to sting.
"Come on Lily, let's go upstairs." Marlene guides Lily into their dormitory. The faces of the other girls were blurred through Lily's tears and their attempts to comfort her fell on deaf ears as she made her way across the room to throw herself onto the bed and bury her face in the pillow.
The other girls pretended they couldn't hear her crying.
A/N: HELLO THERE POTTERHEADS! This is the first installment of the work in progress entitled "A Red String of Fate". We both hope that you enjoyed it and will continue reading as we make our way throughout the next years in James and Lily's lives. Thanks for reading, we hope you leave a review, and we can't promise that the next chapter won't be any less angst-y. However, IT DOES GET (somewhat, this is a Jily story) HAPPIER.