Ila woke around midday, the nap with her little ones having refreshed her a bit. Fror was fussing, ready for his first feeding by his mother, and Ila was only too happy to oblige. The feel of his little lips on her nipple made her happier than anything she could have imagined before she became a mother.

Dwalin had come to visit her and pay his respects to the newborn prince. He had also brought Farin much to the delight of Thora. Dwalin wisely mentioned nothing of Thorin.

Farin and Thora were playing on the bed together while Ila bonded with Fror. Thorin, where ever he was, had not made an appearance. Ila wondered when he might. Surely he would, eventually. She didn't think he would believe that she had the fortitude to be angry at him for very long. She had always forgiven him quickly in the past, even when she should not have. But this was different, and if he was too dense to realize that yet he would in very short order.

Servants brought lunch and Ila tried to eat something, despite not being hungry. Dwala pushed food on her, insisting she needed to regain her strength. As they were eating, a knock came at the door.

Dwala and Ila tensed. Ila paused for a moment, then nodded to Dwala that it was ok to see who was at the door. Ila braced herself in case it was Thorin.

It was Fili however, come to pay his respects to the prince.

He too looked as though he'd had a hard night, but he put on a smile for Ila.

Sitting on the bedside, he leaned over to peer at Fror.

"We were all worried sick about you, and the prince."

"We are well, as you can see." Ila assured him. "But how are you?" she asked.

Fili looked down at his hands. "I'll be fine. We've all been through worse." He replied unconvincingly. "All that matters is that you and the heir are well."

"We are not all that matters. You, your mother, Kili….you all matter. Especially to me."

Fili sighed heavily. "Mother is a rock, she will weather this as she has the many trials before this one. And my brother is better off where he is."

Ila took Fili's hand with hers that was not supporting the baby. He squeezed her hand back, his blue eyes sadder than she could bear.

"Fili, you must make amends with Zahra. You cannot fault her for the way Thorin used her."

Fili shut his eyes, clearly not wanting to talk about her. Whether it was anger at her or himself Ila could not tell.

"He knew she loved you and would do nothing that would jeopardize being near you. You must lay the blame at your uncle's feet."

"And Kili's. Most of all at Kili's." Fili corrected her.

It was Ila's turn to shut her eyes. She could not begin to sort out her feelings there. She loved him, but she had never been in love with him. If she had been betrothed to him, and not Thorin, she did believe she could have loved him as a wife should. And even Fili, she believed that about him too. They were all honorable and good dwarves at their core. But she had always believed Thorin was her soulmate. And that made what he'd done unbearable. She had thought to lay all the blame at Thorin's feet, not Kili's. But why? He had certainly had his part in this mess.

"Will you make up with Uncle then? He has taken to some recess of the palace, no one has seen him. I can't even find him."

Ila looked away, rocking Fror who seemed to sense his mother's increasingly agitated mood.

"I don't know if I can do that Fili. I just don't. But Zahra, you must apologize to her, Fili. She believes she is to blame here when she is not. It's eating her alive with grief."

"I know….I didn't mean what I said to her….I just wish she had told me….I could have done something." Fili moaned as he put his head in his hands.

"I don't know about that," Ila replied. "I know you are torn apart over your brother, but he's not dead. You can go to Ered Luin to see him when you want, you and Dis."

Fili rubbed his face hard with his hands, sighing. "It is not the same, Ila."

"I know," she replied quietly.

They set in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say to comfort each other. Dwala was busying herself with playing with their older dwarflings.

"Everything will be alright, Ila. Our line has endured far worse things….at least no one died last night. It could be worse."

"Yes, I was relieved to discover that Kili was only banished, not dead."

"Well yes, I could have believed it. Kili would not even apologize to uncle. He said….he said that he would have had an affair with you if only you could have been convinced. And he said that in front of our mother. Truly, it is a wonder that my brother lives."

Ila was abashed, she could hardly believe Kili would say such a thing. And then Ila was flooded with guilt. Guilt that someone could love her beyond reason like that, and could destroy himself over it. But then, was Thorin any different? Only in that he was her husband, and Kili was not.

"I must have encouraged him…without knowing or meaning to….I thought we were just the very best of friends Fili, I swear it."

"Ila, no one blames you. How could you think this is your fault?" Fili asked and Dwala gave her a look that said she agreed with him.

Ila was not convinced. How did she not have fault in this? She should not have been so innocent, so naïve. She should have took better care with her actions, not gotten so close to a male dwarf her age. She was a queen, she had appearances and her dignity to worry about.

"You're right," Ila said to Fili, but it was half-hearted and she did not actually believe it. She said it to end the line of pointless conversation, as she saw it.

"So, what about Zahra then? She is in her rooms, resting. Or at least I hope. If she is asleep I am certain she cried herself into that state." Ila said, changing the topic.

Fili looked away wringing his hands though he seemed not to notice.

"I have never been good with females, Ila. I don't have the first idea what to say."

"You are good enough to have made her fall in love with you. Just be honest. And make it clear that you were wrong, and that you are very, terribly, incredibly, sorry."

"Immensely so." Dwala added for good measure, as she pretended not to be listening to their conversation.

Fili looked over his shoulder at her and gave Ila an exasperated sigh.

"Alright, after I get some food in me, I'll go to her."

"I would go now. She suffers every moment." Ila corrected him.

Fili dared not argue with Ila, only nodded and rose from the bed and made towards the door. Ila smiled to herself, hoping he did as she instructed.

As the door closed, Dwala turned to Ila.

"So, what if that had been him? How do you want me to handle his eventual appearance?"

'Him' needed no further clarification. Ila frowned as she brushed Fror's bit of hair back on his head. "I suppose we will have to admit him at some point, or at least one of his manservants, as all of his clothes are here. But I'll not speak to him."

Dwala nodded, not pressing the subject further. Who knew what sort of emotional state the king would arrive in when he finally did appear. They would just have to wait and see.

Fili walked slowly down the hallway, clenching and unclenching his fists. He was nervous, guilty, angry, wounded, the list went on. His emotions were a jumble he didn't expect to untangle anytime soon. But Ila was right, none of this was Zahra's fault. Not really. She probably should have told him what Thorin bade her do. But, he was her king here and he'd sworn her to secrecy on pain of being turned out of Erebor. And Fili knew he would have had a very difficult time reuniting with her after such an occurrence.

No, he couldn't blame her. He blamed himself. He should have seen what was happening to his brother; there was no one closer to him on earth, not even mother. Kili had kept his secret well. And apparently it had eaten him alive. It must have, to drive him to what he did.

Fili reached Zahra's room quickly; her tiny quarters being close to her queen naturally. He took a deep breath; he needed more time to think about what to say. But he couldn't stand outside her door for hours either. Summoning his courage, Fili knocked on the door.

It was only then he considered that she could be sleeping, after everything that had happened she probably didn't sleep through the night. He almost turned away when he heard a quiet rustling behind the door before it opened the tiniest bit.

Fili saw Zahra's light brown eyes peeking through the slit the door opening made. He was afraid she would close it again as she registered who he was, so he placed a firm hand on the door.

"Zahra, may I come in?" he asked quietly.

"I—you shouldn't be here. What if someone saw you coming to my door?" her voice squeaked out.

"No one saw me, there is no one in the halls. Please may I come in?" he asked again.

"If the king hears about this—"

"Uncle has not been seen for more than a day. He has much greater matters on his mind than what I do with my time. Please, Zahra."

She heard the pleading in his voice. She both did and did not want to see him. But…he seemed remorseful. She finally decided it was better that he come in than stand in the hallway where he might draw attention.

Zahra drew back and opened the door so Fili could enter, and he swiftly closed the door behind him. Zahra withdrew from him, or at least as far as she could in the cramped room. Maids quarters were not very big, something Fili had never had occasion to notice before.

She had only a couple of candles burning, but it was enough light to see that Zahra's eyes were bloodshot. Her face was pink and she had already sniffed a couple of times. My fault, he knew.

"Zahra," he began slowly, taking a step towards her. She was clutching a blanket around her shoulders but appeared to still be dressed underneath.

"I…I don't even know where to begin. I should never have reacted the way I did."

He had begun tentatively, hoping for some sign from Zahra. She stood motionless looking at him.

More, ok. Fili thought. He was new at this apologizing to your woman thing.

"I know that none of this is your fault. I was just—I am rather—heartbroken. For myself, for our mother, and even for Kili."

That last part raised an eyebrow from Zahra but she said nothing.

"Perhaps if you had told me I could have done something—"

Zahra's unreadable expression turned sour suddenly.

Ok, backtracking…

"…but I doubt it. Uncle is unreasonable at times, and has always, even in the best of times, treated Ila more like a possession than a dwarf."

"I hadn't noticed." Zahra said dryly.

Good, she spoke at least.

"Uncle has a sickness Zahra, it runs through our line. It has always manifested with gold and treasure before, but I guess his feelings were so strong for Ila that it manifested with her too."

"It is still no excuse." Zahra said firmly, wiping a single tear from her eye.

Fili exhaled. "No, no it is not."

He had slowly been gaining on her until she was in a corner and he three or four paces in front of her.

"I know you agreed to his commands because you wanted to remain here with me." Fili said gently.

"And because he is my king and I had no choice Fili." Zahra added.

Fili nodded, trying to show her he understood.

"Zahra," he nearly whispered now "…can you forgive me my love?"

Zahra looked at the floor. Fili could see fresh tears in her eyes. She seemed to be struggling with an answer, and he supposed he did not blame her. He wasn't sure what else to say, short of prostrating himself and begging her forgiveness.

Luckily for him, she finally mumbled an answer.

"Yes….yes I suppose."

Fili tried to meet her eyes. She did not sound like she forgave him.

He closed the distance between them, gently lifting her chin with his finger.

Glistening eyes met his. They were still hurt. An apology after all did not immediately take the pain away.

Zahra gave in and laid her head against his chest, letting him draw her into a strong embrace. She made no sound but he could feel her tears through his shirt.

He held her for a long while, until she broke the silence.

"Now that Thorin has a son, do you think that he will let us be married?"

Fili pressed a kiss against her forehead.

"I'm not going to give him a choice." He said.

It was evening finally, Ila feeling a little more restored as the day went on. Dwala was still insisting that she stay in bed however, and Ila admitted she was quite sore. But not sore and uncomfortable enough to not care for her babe. Dwala had offered to feed Fror, she'd done so before after all. But Ila insisted she continue to do it herself.

It was suppertime, and Ila fed a hungry Fror while Dwala nursed Farin in a nearby chair. Thora was sitting on the bed, a tiny clay cup in her little hands. They'd finally had some success with getting the princess to drink that way, though it had been a hard won battle.

Thora looked at her mother and brother, then looked to Dwala and Farin. She looked back to her mother, her little brow furrowing. She then looked down at her cup, sneered, and threw it as hard as she could to the floor.

The clay didn't break but clanged on the stone floor, splashing milk as it went.

"Thora!" Ila rebuked her.

Thora's frustration combined with her mother's reprimanding tone sent her into an instant crying fit.

Dwala unlatched Farin who looked slightly perturbed at having his meal interrupted. She sat him on the bed as she went to clean the mess Thora had made. Farin gave Thora a concerned look and began to crawl over to her.

"Apparently we were wrong about her being weaned from your breast." Dwala said.

"Either that or she is very jealous now." Ila said having to raise her voice over Thora's cries.

A knock came at the door. Dwala still had the cup and a towel in her hands from mopping up the milk.

Her mind on her tasks, she didn't even consider that when she opened the door Thorin would be on the other side of it. Yet there he was.

Startled, Dwala finally managed a brief curtsy.

"My king." She said flatly.

His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed in red. His hair didn't appear to have been combed that day, or the day before. He also seemed to be wearing the same clothes as last she'd seen him.

"I've come for my daughter." He said without pretense.

"I will ask the queen." Dwala said without thinking, then remembered herself. She expected him to explode on her, rounding on her for not immediately going to fulfill his request. But he didn't. He gave her a nearly imperceptible nod, then waited at the door.

Thorin had expected as much. He considered himself lucky that he wasn't outright refused.

"Who is it?" Ila asked.

"The king."

"I will not see—"

"He wants the princess."

Ila hushed. She was slightly surprised. Perhaps he knew better than to even attempt to see her. Good. Then he understood how resolute she was.

"I…suppose that is fine. She is upset anyway. Let him try to quell her tantrum." Ila replied.

Dwala nodded and picked up Thora, again with a concerned look from Farin.

Thorin tried to look into the room, leaning over and peeking without actually setting foot inside. He didn't want to press his luck at the moment.

He could barely see Ila in bed, a bundle at her breast. He didn't even know his son's name.

His spirits raised as he saw Dwala bringing Thora to him. She was wailing, her face red and tears slipping down her cheeks. He wondered what the matter was, she rarely threw tantrums.

"Look who's here dear," Dwala said and Thora finally saw her father. Her tears immediately stopped and her eyes lit up.

"Pa-pa!" she proclaimed, and threw her arms out towards him.

Thorin smiled for the first time in days. She had been trying to speak for a while now, mumbling mostly. Now she said her first word, and it was his name.

"My love," he said, his voice shaking a little. Dwala looked more surprised than he did as she handed the princess over.

Thora clung to Thorin with one little arm, the other firmly latching onto his beard. Thorin kissed her forehead and stroked her pink cheeks.

"What is the matter my heart?" he asked.

"Oh, she wants her mother's breast, not a cup. We thought we'd made progress." Dwala said.

"Ahh, you mean she's jealous." Thorin said knowingly. Thora's upset was forgotten however. She had obviously missed her father very much. Now that Dwala thought about it, it was some two days or so since she'd seen him.

"I'll bring her back in time for bed." Thorin said and turned away to leave the royal chambers. Dwala realized she had no idea where he was staying if she'd wanted to retrieve her. But she said nothing and watched father and daughter go.

Dwala went back to finish cleaning up. Farin was looking slightly distraught at the absence of his playmate. His eyes kept going to the door.

Ila was looking pensive herself, and a bit sad.

"What's the matter?" Dwala asked.

"I heard her," Ila answered, choking up. "She said her first word. Her first real word."

Oh, Dwala thought. And it wasn't ma-ma.

"She's just happy to see him that's all, she doesn't understand where he's been."

"I know," Ila said quietly, unlatching a full and now drowsy Fror. He looked exactly like Thorin. Even as a newborn babe.

Ila felt sorrowful. She couldn't and wouldn't keep her babes from their father. She was not heartless. She had said that in anger. But what would they think if she and Thorin could not make up? They were too young to understand now, but one day they would not be. Thora was extremely intelligent even for her age, she'd figure out something was amiss eventually.

That was a worry for another time, Ila told herself. Despite the strong front she was presenting, she was very tired. Laying back with an equally sleepy Fror in her arms, Ila let her mind drift until sleep took her.

In another part of the palace, Thorin sat in a comfy chair before a hearth, Thora in his lap. His hand hovered under the little cup Thora held in her tiny hands. She was drinking slowly but she was doing it on her own. His own blue eyes looked up from her little face and over the rim of the cup at him, enjoying the praise he was giving her.

Her eyes still held the same love in them that they always had. She was the only one whose opinion of him hadn't changed in the last 48 hours. But then that was because she wasn't old enough to understand.

He would take it. Her love was all he had to sustain him presently, and who knew for how long.