More than You know.

Part 2- Hopeless.

In flames I sleep soundly
with angels around me,
I lay at your feet …

Given the fact that sleeping without Santana was extremely difficult for Brittany when either of them were on a business trip, that night after their stupid fight was impossible. She just tossed and turned all night, cuddling Santana's pillow and the awful feeling in her gut intensified when she tiptoed to the family room and saw Santana curled on the built in couch and it was obvious she had been crying herself to sleep. Brittany felt like a complete asshole and wanted to turn back the time; she loathed that very first serious argument.

A couple of rounds through the boy's rooms helped a little to calm her. Looking at the sleeping children was comforting and she even smiled at Dominic's usual posture. He was always a starfish, sprawled on his stomach and didn't move a lot, much like Brittany, and Minion was always under his arm, no matter what. Christian was different and probably ran a marathon in his sleep because he changed positions often and the sheets were always useless; his stuffed baby panda never failed to end up on the floor at some point during the night.

Brittany was on her back, staring at the ceiling, deep in her thoughts again when her blue eyes finally registered the morning light entering through the panoramic window and soon enough, she heard Santana quietly walking into the bedroom. Her hair an endearing mess and her eyes a little swollen.

"Good morning." Brittany quickly sat up and cautiously offered but was met with nothing but silence.

Bathing or showering was another thing Brittany was used to do with Santana; it was a habit that reinforced their intimacy when they were starting out and now provided time to themselves, sneaking some kisses and caresses here and there, or simply to share day to day talk. So when Santana just kept on walking towards their bathroom and locked the door, she sent her wife a clear message.

It felt like a slap and Brittany practically flopped down back on the bed, groaning into a pillow she pressed to her face to prevent the sound. She wanted to take down that door and just kiss her wife to show her how sorry she was but it wouldn't be that easy. Santana emerged from her sudden hideaway, dressed in nothing more than her underwear and made the hasty retreat to the walk-in closet, locking the door as well.

With a heavy sigh, Brittany had no other choice than to do her morning routine alone and by the time she was finished, she heard the usual giggles coming from downstairs. Santana had managed to have the boys showered and dressed and was in the process of having breakfast with them.

Dominic and Christian effusively greeted their momma and were oblivious to the situation their adults were in. Santana avoided looking at Brittany, not directing a word to her but had her breakfast ready.

"Are we picking them up today? After, we can have lunch at that place you like so much…"

Brittany shyly offered while playing with her fork, stabbing a piece of watermelon.

Santana was busy planting a kiss to Christian's cheek when she mumbled "You have lunch with Professor Waltman, you can't cancel again." The boys were on their own business of exchanging slices of fruit and which toy to take for the day.

Of course Brittany didn't remember that commitment "Oh, you're right. Thanks for reminding me." She bit her lips when dark eyes never met hers and she whispered "Do- are we taking them to school or…"

"Nope." Was her answer.

Brittany busied herself for the rest of the morning, ignoring Puckerman and Sam's questionings and she didn't pay attention to what the professor was saying at lunch, she understood she was agreeing to give a lecture but that was it. She was even more surprised when she rang Santana's line when she arrived back at the office only to be greeted by her assistant, Nina, who informed her Santana had taken the rest of the day after picking up the boys from school. So, her flowers weren't enough to at least get a word from her wife.

Panic was the word to describe what Brittany felt when she arrived home earlier than usual and was met with an odd silence. Where was her family? She practically tossed her keys and briefcase and raided the downstairs floor, then the empty rooms of her children, the family room and peeked at the garden from the window but no one was there.

Her heart started beating again when she entered their bedroom and saw Santana peacefully sleeping with Dominic and Christian cuddling her sides while a book rested on her stomach. Brittany just stood there observing the most beautiful thing that had happened to her and was able to smile again. Shaking her head at the fleeting and unfounded thought, she did her best with dinner that night and settled with having the attention of the boys under the unreadable gaze of Santana.

That was the longest Monday of Brittany's life and similar luck she had on Tuesday and Wednesday; the only change was that now she had taken residence on the couch instead of Santana. What she didn't know was that Santana was having the hardest time of her existence ignoring her but she still resented the words and needed time off to clear her thoughts and anger.

"Where are you going?" Brittany asked quietly as she saw Santana was packing a small suitcase and a pantsuit lay on their bed.

Santana responded but didn't stop arranging her things "Urban Inc. Phoenix."

"Right..." Brittany remembered of that quick trip scheduled a month ago. It was just a day, but still, it felt wrong to be physically far apart when they weren't even talking. Well, Santana wasn't speaking to her more than the necessary.

"My mom will call you so she can help you with the boys. Emma-"

"Yeah, I know she's not coming back until next week. I remember," Brittany walked to her, her steps unsure and tentative until she was behind Santana "As for your mom, its ok, I have already told Becca I was taking the day off. I'll call Mari anyways and let her know."

Santana swallowed hard and tried to step away from her "Good." She said and closed her eyes for a moment when she felt Brittany's hands on her waist gently guiding her body to face her.

"Santana... Please, I- Just tell me something, anything." Her blue eyes watered and her voice quivered "I don't care if you want to only scream at me- I miss talking to you, I miss your voice, I miss us and I know what I said was uncalled for and stupid and I'm so sorry-"

Dark eyes looked away and as Santana shook her head, Brittany released her hold, taking a deep breath to regain her composure.

"I've-" She cleared her throat "I've already said goodbye to Dom and Chris…" Shaky fingers ran through her silky hair. "They are waiting for you to kiss them good night."

Brittany nodded and agreed it wasn't the moment "Do you want me to take you to the airport?"

"No, Nina already arranged that. One of the drivers should be here first thing in the morning."

She wanted to retort and say she would drive her but instead "Have a safe flight, San… Good night."

Santana wanted to get over and done with the meeting and just go back home. Brittany's sad blue eyes stayed on her mind and the tone of her voice still rang on her ears. It was ridiculous to keep going like that when not even a week before all was peachy and they were both excited planning their 3rd baby.

That was the reason she caught the red-eye to L.A. and left Mike to finish the deal, which was a surprise, even to herself but the man just smirked and was happy she was coming to her senses, as he tactfully put it.

As expected, the kitchen was a mess, there was evidence of a suspicious amount of cookies and ice cream but the two cherubs were fast asleep, much like their momma. Santana's heart melted when she saw Brittany sleeping on her side of their bed and wearing one of Santana's old shirts, clutching her pillow.

Quietly, Santana got ready for the night and steadily climbed onto the mattress, bringing her body closer to Brittany's warm one, facing her. Her arms were careful as she drew the blonde woman into her embrace. She was about to drift off to sleep when Brittany started to stir, pulling Santana impossibly closer; she mumbled a couple of I love yous and searched for Santana's lips in her sleep.

Even though it was clear that Brittany was in a hazy dream, Santana returned the sluggish caress and quickly felt their bodies responding to each other's presence. Brittany was now in between her legs and began to faintly thrust her hips, increasing the pressure on her stomach and the rhythm of their breathing.

"Britt…" Santana called her name "Baby, not like this." Her hands on Brittany's shoulders and Brittany's arms around hers.

A slurred "Santana…" left her moist lips.

"Brittany…" She turned her head to escape said lips because she felt on the verge of losing control and they still needed to talk and not resolve the situation with sleepy sex that was by no means rare to them… But a well-placed thrust made her moan and the sound alone was enough to take Brittany out of her fog.

"San?" All movements stopped and her blue eyes were clouded in confusion when she looked at the woman beneath her "Santana? What are you-?"

"I- I took the red-eye." Santana said in a breathy voice, her cheeks were flushed and her lips looked like they always did when Brittany had something to do with them. They stayed in that position for a moment until Brittany attempted to move, causing Santana to bite her bottom lip to prevent the sound the woman above her had caused.

"Oh… OH!" Brittany realized what was happening "I was- I'm, I'll go to the family room…" She swallowed hard and finally stood up, ignoring her obvious excitement. And Santana? Santana just lied there, with a big smile on her face until the day crashed down on her and fell into a deep slumber.

Brittany didn't quite understand what had happened but judging by the look on Santana's face, she was enjoying the little slip they were about to have. A smug but relieved beam stretched on her lips and she was more than happy to prepare breakfast and do all the house chores.

Now she was sure Santana was trying to resist her but failing miserably if the little smiles and the stolen glances were any indication of it. So, when Santana was done with breakfast and after kissing the boys, preparing to leave, Brittany nudged Dominic's foot with her own and did a head tilt, pursing her lips.

"Mami, you forgot momma's kiss." The child voiced innocently with a big grin on his face, observing the playful expression of Brittany while Santana narrowed her eyes at his momma.

"Yeah you forgots." Christian added before devouring her last spoonful of cereal, trying not to make a bigger mess.

Brittany contained a laugh and her eyes were glued to Santana as she walked closer to her. Santana kissed her on the cheek but…

"That won't do, you owe her more kisses for yesterday." Dominic, again.

Santana softly asked him "Is that so?"

Dominic nodded with his head between his hands, looking at his parents "Yeah, you give us more kisses when we waked up."

"Woke," Brittany corrected.

The older child dismissed with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes "That's what I said."

Brittany turned to Santana and shrugged, as if to say they were right. Santana huffed not in the slightest annoyed and pressed her pouty lips to Brittany's mouth but before she could react, Brittany was holding her tightly, really kissing her.

They heard Dominic and Christian giggling and clapping and Santana chuckled against her lips, ending the sweet smooch.

"See you later. I love you…" Brittany simply murmured, looking into her smiling dark eyes.

The atmosphere felt lighter that evening and even though the talk was yet to happen and Brittany still went to sleep on the family room, Santana followed her there and in silence, Brittany spooned her and finally, after a few days, they had a decent rest.

And that was the reason Brittany felt beyond confused when she woke up to an empty house on that Saturday morning. She tried not to get upset but it was difficult. Had Santana been pretending just for the sake of the children? Why would she do that? They had been careful enough and the boys were oblivious to their problems.

"Where were you?" Brittany asked gently as soon as Santana stepped inside the house. She looked past her "And the boys?"

Santana was wearing denim shorts and one of Brittany's plaid shirts, her favourite one "We went for breakfast and now they are with Q and Rachel." She casually informed her and grabbed one of Brittany's hands, guiding their steps towards the living room.

"They are my children too, you know?" Brittany voiced in equal tone as she sat next to her on the sofa.

Santana tilted her head "As if I could or want to forget that fact." A smile appeared across her face, letting her know there was a cause as to why she hadn't shared or consulted something with her concerning their boys.

Brittany nodded in understanding "We need to talk."

"We do." Santana took a deep breath, looking at her nails before meeting reassuring blue eyes when Brittany grabbed her hands "I wasn't upset because you went to a strip club."

"I know. You were upset because I didn't tell you."

She nodded "And that made me feel insecure." It was an admission that surprised Brittany.

"You saw the mess I was when we first met… You practically taught me to trust again. Britt, with you I learned how to love, how to love you." Her voice was soft and caring "Our relationship is amazing because we respect and trust each other," Brittany squeezed her hands in agreement "we also have this physical connection that- we're not afraid to voice what we want, what we need from each other…"

Santana swallowed to continue, feeling at her most vulnerable "The fact that you didn't feel comfortable enough to just tell me you had gone there made me think something had happened or you had felt something you couldn't tell me, you didn't want to feel, and you were acting kind of distant,"

"Santana-"

"My mind went through the darkest route," Santana shrugged "I don't know what it was exactly but I felt angry and scared and uncertain all at once and it was overwhelming." Brittany smiled a little when Santana graciously straddled her, getting comfortable on her lap.

"It didn't help I waited so long to tell you assuming you would get mad at me and then kept repeating it wasn't a big deal… I should have known better." Her hand reaching for a black strand of hair to put behind a little ear.

Santana sighed and felt silly in realization "I made it a big deal because I wasn't listening."

"But it was so wrong of me to say what I said knowing the hard time we had back then. I'm sorry."

"It set me completely off," Santana nodded and traced the faint dark circles under blue eyes "I thought it was really unfair but you didn't know what I was feeling and I didn't let you explain when you were trying to. I shut you out." Her forehead found Brittany's and as her nose touched hers, a kiss was granted and a pair of relieved exhales escaped between them.

And after their lips parted "I'm really sorry, baby. Honestly, this has been the worst week of my life and I don't want to make you feel like that ever again and I don't want to feel the same."

Santana nodded against her forehead, her eyes still closed "I'm sorry I yelled at you and ignored you these days."

"That was the hardest part for me. You were a big meanie." The comment made her giggle and it was a tiny mission accomplished for Brittany. She really had missed being the cause of that sound.

"I know, but I had to do that."

Dark eyes were now looking at blue ones, calm and steady "Why?" The arms around Santana's waist pulling her closer.

Santana chuckled at the playful pout Brittany was giving her "Because I knew if I let you near me, my idiotic resolve to stay mad at you would crumble…" And Brittany just kissed her again until air was needed.

"We're hopeless."

"Very."

Some unspoken promises were exchanged; some more kisses and after Santana was practically falling asleep on Brittany, they made her way towards their bedroom and onto the safe haven that was their bed, falling asleep in an instant.

But not an hour later, Brittany found herself propped on her elbow, looking down at the sleeping Santana. She was on her back and her dark tresses waved over the pillow, filling Brittany's nostrils with the distinct scent when she nuzzled the side of her neck. She took her time examining each corner of Santana's face, spending the most time on the natural pouty form of her lips.

With a deep sigh, her hand started to carefully unbutton her shirt, smiling demurely when she saw what she had noticed before; Santana wasn't wearing a bra. Opening the piece of clothing completely, revealing the round and firm breasts, she leaned slowly and started to ghost kisses along the warm and soft skin while her hand trailed down the taut stomach to open the shorts as well. Santana's breathing grew louder as Brittany unhurriedly kissed and sucked on her nipples and a gentle hand sneaked inside her already wet panties.

Santana opened her eyes halfway and hazily observed what her wife was doing to her, moaning quietly when nimble fingers trailed up and down her folds. Brittany released the stiff peak with a wet pop and looked at dark eyes for a long moment and then lazily kissed Santana with blue eyes wide open.

Not a word was spoken when Brittany sat back, slowly licking her fingers and took off Santana's shorts along with the underwear and then, undressed herself in record time while Santana just watched with hooded eyes and in nothing more than the opened shirt. Unceremoniously, Brittany lowered her body and grabbed a hold of Santana's parted legs, settling them on her strong shoulders.

Santana could feel Brittany's breathing on her core and let out a pleased murmur when she felt Brittany's dexterous tongue savouring what she had to offer and hummed with each lick, prodding inside before one of her fingers, then the other, joined her mouth while Santana arched off the bed, moaning lowly. Brittany was a starving woman at that moment and didn't take her long to bring Santana to the edge with her mouth and fingers. Both slightly sweaty now.

She was just about to stop quivering, when she felt Brittany had sat back on her heels and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her smoothly to her throbbing member. A gasp escaped her when Brittany slowly sank inside of her, inch by inch and not tearing her eyes of the image. They stayed motionless for what it felt like forever and then Brittany carefully lowered her body to cover Santana to claim her lips in a sloppy kiss that was all tongue and teeth. Santana's legs were around Brittany, her fingers sinking into her back and her moans were increasing as Brittany started to rock her hips, deeper and harder with each plunge and making difficult to keep their mouths glued together.

Brittany's arms were sneaked around Santana, and their hard breathing permeated the room in between heady moans and grunts. Breathy whispers of both names could be heard as their sweat mixed.

"Baby…" Was all Brittany could utter when she came relentlessly inside her wife and the warm sensation eased Santana into her own orgasm just mere seconds after with a gaping mouth and tightly shut eyes. Her heart was pounding.

Brittany's weight on top of her was something she loved to feel, the way they could entwine amazed her and she revel on it. After she was coming down of her high, she started to kiss Brittany's cheek and all parts of her face swollen lips could reach.

"I love you… You don't know, you don't know…" Brittany stated passionately, gazing adoringly at her, still hidden inside Santana.

She didn't answer with words so instead, her lips and tongue tried until she was aware Brittany was completely hard again, responding to her touch and the clenching of her inner walls that had her exhaling deeply. Her face and neck were completely flushed and the wet blonde hair matted on her forehead.

Blue eyes were locked with dark ones and something inside of Brittany snapped when they told her what Santana needed in that moment. So, she did just that and in an impressive shot of energy she had Santana on her hands and knees and Brittany tight behind her with pale hands grabbing her hips to guide the glistening body. Her eyes trailed all the curves and dips of it until Santana threw her hips back in an eager and continuous display of lust and love and she whimpered when Brittany's member was sliding through her folds, provoking her.

Brittany kept teasing the whimpering woman until she couldn't resist her own urges and in one swift plunge of her hips, her painfully hard shaft was sheathed inside her wife, again, gliding effortlessly because of the impressive amount of wetness, in and out, in and out. Her scent and Santana's mixing in a loud rhythm that was turning both raw and primal with the obscene slapping of skin against skin. She was practically mewling and unintelligible words left her mouth.

At one point, Santana's hands gripped the edge of the headboard when she felt an overpowering force clouding her senses. The smacking of her ass against Brittany stopped when a gush of liquid rushed out of her and covered Brittany's member and pelvic area.

"Oh my God!"

When Santana stopped trembling, Brittany started to move her hips again, her muscles aching and burning from exertion and with a loud scream Santana came again, tensing and then snapping, dripping in sweat and obvious desire.

"Santana, Santana…"

Brittany encircled Santana's waist, her upper body pressed to the searing skin, and sat back on her heels again, bringing Santana with her as she too reached the peak of her pleasure, filling her. The air was heady and thick with the scent of their sex.

Feeling like rag dolls, Brittany collapsed making Santana fall with her back on top of her front and barely registered when she slipped out of the woman, totally spent and satiated. Santana for her part, felt her insides turned to mush and her core was throbbing, but in that good way.

Their rapid breathing was all it could be heard and both of them had their eyes closed. Brittany was sprawled like a starfish unable to move, much like Santana, who managed to slide her limp self from Brittany's body and laid by her side. Both lost consciousness to sleep quickly after their strenuous activities, both very sweaty and very sticky.

She was held from behind and "Hi…" Brittany whispered to Santana, who had just been talking to their children, checking on them as was usual. She smiled widely at the playful nose nuzzling her neck. The few hours of sleep that afternoon were exactly what they needed, and maybe the sex…

"How are the bugs?" Santana was simply wearing the same shirt as before, only that shirt, and Brittany smirked on her skin. She wasn't better in just flimsy shorts and a practically see-through tank top.

Santana told her the detailed version between giggles because Brittany didn't release her.

"Your tummy is grumbling."

Brittany hummed in agreement "Yep, I'm starving BUT how about…" A kiss to her recently uncovered shoulder "we have a snack, something light so I can take you out for a romantic dinner?"

Of course she couldn't say no and the snack ended up on a full meal for Brittany that Santana was more than happy to cook for her wife. She could have anything she wanted.

But before they could finally have a hot, relaxing bath, Brittany wasted no time as she perched Santana on the breakfast bar and claimed her again, slowly and quietly. Indeed, those days apart seemed a distant memory.

Hand in hand walking into the restaurant impeccably dressed to impress each other, all eyes were on them and Santana couldn't be more proud to be Brittany's wife. If they only knew…

"So, when is the appointment with Quinn?" Brittany asked as the waiter left with their order.

"Exactly a month from yesterday. She considers by that time my hormones will be levelled or whatever."

The blonde took a sip from her wine "I don't think we'll have a problem."

Santana smirked back at her "I agree, given your track record… But it'll probably take a little longer."

"Well, I'm happy to try as much as you want." The foot running up her bare thigh was enough to reassure Santana she had chosen wisely when she dressed in that skirt.

The dinner went smoothly in between pleasant talk and playful bites feeding each other, oblivious to the world around them and with a nice buzz from the wine. And when Brittany's lips and arms surprised Santana in the small lounge when she was exiting the bathroom, she knew it was time to take her wife home. They kissed against the side of the car, on every red light and even against their main door.

Clothes were scattered all over their bedroom floor and hearts grew restless with each touch, with each stare.

"I love you." Brittany whispered against Santana's lips as she remained motionless on top and inside of her. It was something Brittany always adored to do.

And that Santana adored feeling "I love you too, so much." She murmured back before their bodies started a slow, gentle rhythm.

They didn't know the practice and trying for their third baby was just for fun after that day… It was already an accomplished mission.

With every breath I breathe I'm making history.

You're the breath that I breathe,
the breath that I breathe …