Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. This is a piece set in the Regarding Mrs Smith Universe after Middle Time Baby Syndrome, I started having a whole royal baby plot, but that fell apart and now we have extended fluff along with the return of Alex Wroughton, who was in Ginger Christmas II if you missed that one. Thank you so much, let me know what you think and happy reading!
July 2013
Outside St. Mary's Hospital, the world's media had gathered to await the birth of the Royal Baby and among them were any number of shiny-haired news presenters.
One of the American ones was reporting back to one of the big American morning shows. "And once again we are all anxiously awaiting the news and the crowds have gathered here outside the Lindo Wing. The police here are standing guard and you can even see the increased level of security here. There's even a police box outside the entrance to the Lindo Wing."
"What police box, Natalie?"
Meanwhile, inside that police box...
"How much longer are we going to sit here?," asked Zara.
Donna looked down. Zara was spread out on the floor in the abject pain of a little Time Lady who had been told to wait.
"Zara, get up off that floor," said Donna. "You'll get an imprint."
"Just until the baby's born," said the Doctor. "I promised the Queen."
"How did you get picked for this again?," asked Donna.
"Well, you know the trouble we had at the Thames River Pageant and the Olympic equestrian events and the opening ceremony. Also, she mentioned something we did at the Royal Wedding."
"The Queen mentioned me?," asked Donna.
"Oh, yeah," said the Doctor.
"Well, what did she say?"
"I think she referred to you as 'the ginger woman with the unusual hat.'"
"Well, that's just great," said Donna, deflated.
"Besides, not as if we can send Jack," said the Doctor. "A hospital full of nurses?"
"How much longer?!," Zara demanded.
"Zara, go play with your sister," said Donna. "Go on."
Zara grimaced and scampered off.
Donna sat on the jump seat. "Still not going to tell me anything?"
"Nope," said the Doctor, popping the "p."
"God help you if you say spoilers," said Donna.
"This is your time period, Donna. I can't ruin it for you."
Donna was about to respond when her mobile rang. "Hello?"
"Donna Noble, are you sitting outside in a police box?"
"Hello, Alex."
The Doctor turned. "Alex? Alex Wroughton, what's he want?"
"Well, this is your time period, I can't ruin it for you."
"Donna..." the Doctor whined.
"What's he doing here?," Alex asked on the phone.
"For your information, I was asked by the Queen!"
Donna looked up to see the Doctor was holding an old style rotary phone on the TARDIS console.
"Did you just patch in on my call?," asked Donna.
"Yes," said the Doctor.
"Have you always been able to do that?," she pressed.
"Maybe..." he said slowly.
"Oh, my God!," said Donna.
"Well, Doctor," said Alex, "you can go home. MI5, the Household Cavalry, the police and myself have everything under control."
"Like your lot did when werewolves attacked Queen Victoria?"
"Werewolves?," asked Donna.
"Yeah, yeah, there was a whole thing," said the Doctor.
"Was it with Martha?"
"Oh, who can remember..." said the Doctor, trailing off. "Or what if the hospital goes to the moon? What are you going to do then?"
"Why would the hospital end up on the moon?," asked Alex.
"Plasmavore, obviously," said the Doctor. "Some security you are."
"What sort of security sits outside the hospital in a wooden box from the 1950s?," Alex shot back.
Alex got his answer as the TARDIS materialized in front of him in the hospital corridor. The door swung open and revealed the Doctor still talking into the old-fashioned telephone.
"This box is not made of wood!," he said, ending the sentence by hanging up.
"Hello, Donna," said Alex.
"Hello," said Donna, putting the baby monitor in her pocket and shutting the TARDIS door. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. You're looking wonderful."
"Taken!," the Doctor said loudly.
Donna rolled her eyes. "So, royal detail! That's quite an honor!"
"You know, the Queen asked me to be here," said the Doctor.
"How in the hell do you know the Queen?," asked Alex.
"Oh, stopped the Titanic from crashing into Buckingham Palace on Christmas Day. Did you not know that?"
"Doctor..." Donna said in a low voice.
"What? I did!"
Donna turned to Alex. "Did you want to pop into the TARDIS for a cuppa? We could catch up."
"No, I had better not. I'm on duty."
"As am I," said the Doctor.
Alex touched the earpiece he was wearing and spoke into his wrist. "On my way," he said walking off with a glare at the Doctor.
"Now what?," asked Donna.
"Now we wait inside," said the Doctor.
"You said we were fine outside."
"Well, that was before... anyway, if we do end up on the Moon, things will go much smoother."
A Nurse walked over. "I'm sorry, this is restricted-"
"Oh, no, see, we're visitors," said the Doctor, pulling out the psychic paper. "John and Donna Smith."
"Yes, we're expecting," said Donna.
"Ooh, nice one," said the Doctor, proud of Donna's ease with the cover story. "Well done, Donna."
He caught the nurse's curious look and Donna's glare.
"I always say that when she's pregnant," said the Doctor. "Bit of positive reinforcement."
At this point, the nurse chose to ignore him completely. "So, this isn't your first?"
"No, this will be our fourth," said Donna.
"Have you delivered here before?"
"No," said Donna. "The first was at King's Cross. The other two were... on holiday."
"Somewhere nice I hope," said the nurse with a smile.
"Well, Las Vegas, once," said Donna.
"And the other?"
"It was a cave."
"I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad," said the nurse.
"Well, I was there," said Donna.
"Well, no caves here," said the nurse. She gave Donna a brochure. "Here's all about the accomodations and I'm sure someone will be around to give you a tour of the birthing suite soon. Bit of a hectic day. I didn't even realize we were having tours."
The nurse walked off. Donna looked at the Doctor. "You say 'well done' whenever I'm pregnant? Do you have any idea what that makes me sound like?!"
"Well," the Doctor stammered in protest, "you make me sound like the sort of man who lets his wife give birth in caves!"
"You are!," Donna shot back.
"You were in the TARDIS! Martha was there."
"Yes, because I rang her!"
"Come on," said the Doctor. "We should probably pretend to be touring."
Donna turned her attention to the brochure. "They don't even have the price of a suite in here. Five grand for a normal delivery. Oh, room service menu."
"All of which are available on the TARDIS for less than five grand."
"What room service?," asked Donna. "When did we get room service?"
"I brought you breakfast in bed on the TARDIS."
Donna searched her memory. "One time! It was tea and toast!"
"You were ill, I couldn't exactly offer you a nice Hollandaise sauce, could I?"
Donna crossed her arms. "I was ill from a night of violent puking because I was carrying your child."
"I've brought you breakfast other times."
"Ah, see, when you were pretending to be John Smith, when you were trying to win me over."
The Doctor mentally conceded that point. He had provided a lot of service in the persona of John Smith. "Yes, but I brought it."
"Who are you?"
They turned to see another serious looking man in a suit that wasn't Alex, which was unfortunate.
The Doctor decided to provide the excuses this time. "Detective Inspector John Smith, Scotland Yard. Code name: the Doctor. This is my partner, Donna Noble."
It was at that moment the Doctor realized Zara was tugging at his pocket.
"And who is she?," said the man.
The Doctor looked back down at Zara and up at the man.
"This is Zara, the plucky young girl who helps me out," said the Doctor.
"Plucky?," asked Zara.
"Raines to security," the man said into his wrist mic.
"Raines!," exclaimed the Doctor. "That's a good name for a man in a suit!"
"I don't remember you on the list," said Raines.
"They're cleared, Raines." Alex stepped up as the Doctor rolled his eyes. "Watford wants to see you."
Raines walked off.
"Stay out of the way," Alex warned.
Donna glanced back at the brochure. "I think I should have a look at the spa menu."
"What for?," asked the Doctor.
Donna walked off without answer. The Doctor looked down and realized he was alone.
"Oh, Zara, don't wander off!," he shouted as he started down the corridor. "What am I always saying?!"
The Doctor hurried down the corridor just in time to find Zara standing in the doorway of one of the patient rooms.
"Are you quite finished yet?!," Zara asked. "My daddy said we could go to Disney Planet once you were! This is my summer holiday!"
The Doctor dashed forward and grabbed Zara. She was in fact, shouting at the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
"Oh, sorry, your highnesses. Everything's fine. Your grandmother sent me."
"Isn't that the baby?," asked Zara.
"Oh, I suppose it is. George VII! Alright, I'll see you at the wedding!," said the Doctor, closing the door.
"So we can go?," asked Zara.
"Yes, just as soon as we find Mummy," said the Doctor taking her hand. "Now, what have I always said about wandering off?"
"Tell me where you're going?"
"Zara..." whined the Doctor.
They walked back to where Donna was filling out some sort of paperwork.
"Alright, Donna, you can stop doing that. She's had the baby, we can go," said the Doctor.
"I'm almost done," said Donna.
"Here's your credit card, Mrs. Smith," said a young man in a suit.
"Yes, and it will be possible to bring my own physician?," asked Donna.
"I should see no problem with it. Someone ought to be calling you within the week to set up your preliminary intake appointment."
"Donna..." the Doctor whined. "We don't need this ruse anymore. We can go. Allons-y!"
Donna collected the shiny stack of brochures and turned to the Doctor. "Can you take a hint?"
"A hint at what?," asked the Doctor.
Donna looked at Zara. "Daddy is not nearly as clever as he thinks he is sometimes, is he?"
Zara laughed.
"What?" The Doctor frowned.
"What do you think, you great big outer space dumbo?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, this is your time period. I can't ruin it for you."
"Donna..."
"Surprised you don't know since you can monitor my phone calls."
"Donna..."
"Whining isn't going to help you now," said Donna. She took Zara's hand. "Tell you what, just make sure we're back here in about eight months. I would hate to lose our deposit."
"Are we going to Disney Planet now?," asked Zara.
"Yes, I think we can be just in time for the fireworks and maybe we'll have time to meet some of the princesses before bed," said Donna walking back into the TARDIS with her.
"Donna, why do we have to be back in eight months?," asked the Doctor.
"Problem?," asked Alex, passing by.
"Why would we have to be back in a maternity ward in eight months?"
Alex rolled his eyes. "Oh, get a clue, would you?"
"Oi!" The Doctor paused and looked at the TARDIS. "Donna!"
The Doctor ran in. Chloe had joined them in the console room and had her Mickey Mouse ears on. Donna was strapping Geoffrey in the babyseat.
"Got it yet?," asked Donna.
"I-"
"And let me tell you something," said Donna. "No funny business this time. There will be no kidnappings, no space caves and no birth scenes where Frank Sinatra is the most knowledgeable person there!"
"Didn't you say I was there?"
"Yes."
"You think Frank Sinatra knows more about childbirth than me?"
"His mother was a midwife," said Donna. "I'm getting a massage, manicure, pedicure, the whole menu because apparently having a baby is as close as I get to a break around here."
The Doctor stood, speechless.
Donna smiled. "Not that I'd trade it, you git, but you could bring me breakfast in bed more than once every four pregnancies while I have my memory."
"I'll bring it tomorrow."
Donna eyed him curiously. "You've booked a suite on Disney Planet, haven't you?"
"Yes, I have," the Doctor admitted sheepishly. "It's at the Grand Martian Resort. There's a view of Merida's Castle. There's also a spa."
"Well," said Donna, "maybe you could take them to see Peter's Pan's Magical Transdimensional Flight to Neverland while I do that."
"Absolutely," said the Doctor, closing the distance between he and Donna. "Oh, and Donna?"
"Yeah?"
He kissed her. "Thank you."
Donna smiled. "No problem, spaceman."
"Can we go now?," asked Zara.
"Yes, we can," said the Doctor flipping the controls and looking back at his beautiful wife and children.