This is dedicated to every one who thinks life is no longer worth living. To those who don't feel that they have any one that loves them, or feel all alone in this cruel world. To those who are bullied and have no friends because your labeled as a EMO, WEIRD or AWKWARD etc.. Who cut them selves as a way of relief, because the pain feels so good... but the world feels so bad. To those who are abused and think of their selves as trash. To those who look to drugs and alcohol as a type of pain reliever. Well guess what...? YOU are SPECIAL and PERFECT in your own little way. Make sure you always remember that, kay?

BTW~ This is a yaoi, and if you don't like then please don't hate on it.

Chapter one~ The first cut...

Naruto... the magnificent blonde who was bullied and treated as trash by the whole village.

They called him worthless, pathetic, monster, devil, evil, murderer, trash, idiot, stupid, insignificant etc.

Multiple times, with out knowing how much their words would hurt, the villagers told this one special blonde to 'go die'. 'Leave this place you monster!' and 'your not wanted here!'.

Parents, adults, even high ranked shinobi would turn a blind eye to the little boy.

Civilians would look at the tan, blonde haired boy with fear and hate in their fickle eyes.

The little kids, around the same age as Naruto; would pick on, beat, bully, and thrash out in any harmful way they could think of towards him.

Never showing any kindness.

Never smiling towards him.

Never offering a helping hand...

Never taking notice to the puffy eyes or scars.

Never taking any action when gangs of people would force the innocent child to the ground, attacking with their hell bringing fists.

The teachers who saw him every day... pretending not to see the new bruises. Pretending not to notice the pain etched into the pure, sky blue eyes.

But why?

Why would the village that his father died, sacrificing himself and his only child to protect every one in it; do such cruel things?

Why would no one help Naruto in his many times of need?

Why... why did no one care?

Did they ever stop and think about what they could be creating by doing all this?

Did any one ever think, that they could be ruining this little boys future?

But again, why would they show any sense of compassion for the boy holding the nine tails.

Show any kindness to the boy at his limits of having a kind heart and could no longer fake a smile any more.

Why would any one try to be his friend, killing the lonesomeness he has felt all these years... Why would they?

Its not like they have an obligation.

Or a need, or any sense of guilt for the nine tails boy.

Its not like any one ever really gave a crap.

ZZZZZZZ~

Naruto, the blonde with bright blue eyes.

Sakura, the pinkette with shinning green eyes.

They both sat in the dusty, trash scattered room. Blades in each of their hands, penetrating the priceless skin once again.

Praying that the pain would all just go away, that this pain from the silver blades would eat up the rest of the pain that went on in their daily lives.

"N-Naruto... where are the medical wraps and tape that I brought over here a few days ago?" Sakura asked, as she watched the blood trickle down over her underwear, and down the fair skinned leg.

"Ahh, they're right here." The blonde reached down next to his queen sized bed, ignoring the blood stains on his sheets.

He handed them ever so carefully to his best friend.

His cutting buddie.

His shoulder to cry on.

The one who he stood by when she puked all the pain away.

The only other person who knows the kind of pain he is going through.

Naruto handed the wrappings to the pink haired girl, as all expression drained from her green marbles.

"Could you do my arm after we get out of the bath? We need to hurry because we are meeting Kakashi in forty minutes."

Sakura hopped off the bed, removing her shirt, tossing it effortlessly to the floor. "Yeah, but it looks pretty deep this time. You might need stitches, so remind me after training today and I'll fix you up at the hospital."

The blonde removed his fishnet tank top and pants, skidding along beside his bestie towards the bath.

As they both sat in the large tub, one on each side with their knees to their chests and soaping up the blonde and pink mops atop their heads.

"Say... Sakura-chan, why do you only cut your hips and inner thighs again? I forgot..." Naruto let his knees fall to one side of the tub, rippling the water as he moved.

Watching as the blood from their fresh wounds mixed in with the clear water.

The pink haired girl smirked, starring at her wrists as she thought back to the scarring events from the past. "Because, the shorts I wear keep the scars from being visible to people. And if I cut on the hips, the scars and marks stay hidden as well. If my shirt rides up, then the bottoms keep them hidden; and if my bottoms ride down any then the shirt keeps them hidden. No one could ever find out this way..."

"Ohh yeah... but as for me, there are already so many scars on my arms and wrists. If I took off my jacket in public then so many of them would be exposed, it would be like a scar gallery! Then that would just be another reason for people to treat me as worthless scum like they always have. Or better yet, they would make more fun of me and laugh harder at me." The blonde lifted his arms, and turning his wrists for his bath buddie to see.

The white, bumpy, memory holding slits on the seventeen year old wrists, laid there exposed as the water dripped off from them.

Sakura gently took her friends wrist in her hand, sliding her nimble fingers over the rigid scars. "At least you have that orange and black jacket to cover yours. I have to wear those fuzzy bracelets to hide mine, and it makes them itch!"

Naruto pulled his wrist from the pink haired girls grip. "Sakura-chan... do you think that maybe... if your real parents hadn't of abandoned you, and then your step parents hadn't adopted you... and did what they did... do you think that we would be friends now?"

The green eyed medic nin leaned back, as the heart stabbing memories flooded back into her mind. "I... have no idea..."

Flashback to seven years ago...

"I-... I'm home..." The small, dress wearing, pink haired little girl quietly closed the front door. Fear creeping up and hogging all the space in her mind.

Heavy foot steps started down the hallway, getting closer and closer as the innocent little girl covered her ears.

The loud stomps stopped, the vibrations from the steps stopped, and she opened her eyes.

A large man stood in front of her, anger and disgust filled his mud brown eyes. He reached his arm out and patted the top of the little pink head, smiling.

"You are late, do you remember what I told you would happen if you continued to disobey my direct orders?!" The brown eyed man started to rub harder into the girls head.

"Ow-oww... d-dad.. I'm sorry... but I stopped at the s-store to get mom what she asked me to pick up after school. So please.."-

The tall mans over sized hands yanked up on little Sakuras head, holding her up by her short pink hair.

Her feet dangling six feet from the ground.

"You don't get to speak! You can only answer the question I asked you, you filthy piece of trash! How hard would it really be to do what I tell you! You came home twenty minutes late after I told you this morning to be home on time!"

"Ahhg... I- I'm really sorry...daddy..." Tears started to fall from the sparkling green orbs.

Sakura was tossed into the wall, her father walking away muttering to himself. Something along the lines of 'that wretched child'.

The little pink haired child stood back up, wiping her cheeks dry and picking the bag that was dropped.

As she walked into the kitchen, carefully taking each step and glancing over each corner.

Sakura laid the bag carefully and quietly onto the kitchen counter, sniffing at the cigarette smoke drifting through the air. "Umm, mom... I picked up the veggies that you wanted. Here they are."

Her mom, average height and bleach blonde hair strolling down to her hips. "These... this cabbage has started to go bad. What the hell do you think you were doing buying crap like this with my money?! You ungrateful child, and after we went through all the trouble to adopt your sorry ass. Ahh just forget it and go to you room."

"Y-yes ma'm." Sakura did her best to hold back the tears that wanted so badly to come out again.

Running up the stairs as the little droplets escaped anyways... and into her room, the one place that kept her imprisoned but left a safe feeling deep within her small little heart.

End of flashback...

"Sakura? Sakura-chan are you listening?" A warm hand gently shook her scarred knee, waking her from the evil memories or the past.

"Hmm, ohh yeah... I'm with Naruto now. They are no longer in my life any more."

The pink haired medic nin put up a half smile, flicking water at her best friend. "I'm not listening, I'm over here almost falling asleep from your boring voice."

"Haha, but you shouldn't keep dazing off in the bath like an idiot. Plus from your last injury, I have to make sure you don't have any left over head damage." Narutos words started to muffle and bubble as he dunked under water, rinsing the suds from his golden blonde hair.

Sakura rolled her eyes as she did the same. Thoroughly draining any soap from their odd colored hair.

They both came back up and got out. Sakura looked into the mirror on the back of the bathroom door.

Staring at her bony body, gazing at her ribs that ever so lightly poked out. Gently letting her fingers ride over her hip bones that stuck out and pinching at the fat on her thighs. "Naruto, I'm going back on my special diet again."

Naruto looked over, watching as the medic nin looked at her thighs in disgust. "Are you sure about that? You haven't gained any weight recently."

"Yeah... but my thighs are huge. It's gross just looking at them! I- I just feel disgusted with my body...It's so gross."

Naruto walked over to the mirror, standing next to the green eyed girl. "You don't look disgusting."

"That's easy for you to say. There is nothing fat about you, your whole body is perfect." Sakura looked over the finely toned body, admiring it. Just glancing over the scars on his stomach, arms, legs, ankles, wrists...

He walked away, putting some fresh clothes on.

"Naruto... he wouldn't understand this feeling... I'm just so disgusting... Filthy... I... I need to cut."

"Hey Naruto, I'll be out in a bit. So go ahead and wrap your arm yourself, kay?" Sakura followed her blonde friend to the bathroom door, shutting it as he mummered his response while walking out.

She walked over to the kitchen sink, grabbing the kunia that sat there waste fully. "I'm so fat... no wonder no guy takes a second look at me. I'm so ugly and my body is just hideous .. It's not my fault, I was born like this. With this unappealing face. With this fat body. No wonder my parents left me in a muddy ditch, leaving me to die in that storm. No wonder my step parents beat me... There is nothing good about me!" She slid down against the wall, etching the word fat into her thighs. Cutting over previous scars, flinching at the pain. Tears coming to her pained eyes.

"I'm so worthless... why does Naruto even keep me?! It probably hurts him to just look at me!"

The bloody kunia was tossed to the side, as she got dressed into her shirt.

"Why.. do I have to be so imperfect...?" The blood started to slide down her thigh, and flowed under the knee dropping to the cold floor.

Naruto came back in, startled by the image in front of him. "S-sakura-chan... sit down before you pass out. Ill go and get the wraps."

He was out and back in the bathroom within seconds. "Here, you know what to do."

"Yeah, You go ahead and meet up with Kakashi sensei. Ill be a little late today."

"...Okay whatever. I'll see you there, Sakura." Naruto left with out another glance or word. No sense of worry.

ZZZZZ~

The blonde arrived, surprised that his silver haired sensei was actually there on time.

"Aye, sensei." Naruto waved, getting the jounins attention. "Shit, maybe I shouldn't have said anything... I blush every time I talk to him and then... Well at least I don't think senseis figured out that I like him so it should be all good. No reason to worry."

Kakashi looked up from his Icha paradise book, and waved back. "Hey Naruto, wheres Sakura at?"

"She will be a little late today. Personnel reasons."

The blonde laid back against the tree that the mask wearing nin stood under. "The first thing he says to me, is something about Sakura... I knew sensei was straight. But maybe I should ask..."

Kakashi looked over at the blonde, noticing the blue eyes starring at him. "Naruto? Do you need something?"

The blonde jumped, adverting his eyes as the red blush danced across his tan cheeks. "Uhmm, well sensei... I was wondering; well... I'm just going to say it out straight. Are you into Sakura by any chance? Because it really seems like you may like her in that way."

The silver haired mans face scrunched up, with confusion riding the rims of his eyes. "No, I'm not interested in Sakura. Defiantly not Sakura, at least."

One of Narutos pierced eyebrows raised. "But... It really seems like you do. And if not, then who?"

"Naruto, why would I tell you who it is? Why are you asking me who I'm interested in? And why would you think I am interested in Sakura?"

Apple red coursed down to the blondes ears from embarrassment. "I-I took notice because when Sakura was in the hospital recently, and you came to visit her as much as possible. You were there every time I was there by her side. Which was about every day that she was hospitalized. Then when I said hi to you earlier, the first thing you did was mention Sakura, so what else am I suppose to think?"

"Maybe your suppose to think that I was worried about my self destructive student. Also, I asked about Sakura first because you two are stuck at the hip. You are always with her, especially since her incident. By the way, how has Sakura been doing since then..?" Kakashi put his book away as worry filled his one dark eye.

"Ahh... well... the cuts on her wrists have almost stopped hurting her. And as far as I know, she hasn't hurt her self again. I've been tracking her food intake and don't let her out of my site for about two hours after she eats." The blonde looked away from his senseis face, knowing that if he didn't; then the silver haired scare crow would see through everything.

All his lies.

All his imperfections.

All the fake smiles.

The fake laughs...

The secret, but deadly crush.

But most of all, all the secrets that he tries to hide under the orange and black jacket.

"Naruto..? Why, why wont you look at my face? Is there something your not telling me?"

"Ahh, crap! He noticed... but why does he have to be so worried over a few cuts. Why cant he... love me! Notice me! Why was it always Sasuke?! Why is it now, always Sakura?! What about me!" The sparkling blue eyed boy kept yelling inside his mind, the little speaks of tears coming to the corners of his eyes.

Kakashi noticed the moistness falling down the tan cheeks. "Naruto, are you okay? What's wrong?"

The teary eyed blonde fell back against the tree, sliding down while looking up to the masked face. "What's wrong...?"

"Yeah, is there something you need to talk about? I'm here if you do." A smile formed in the one, normally dull eye.

More tears started to fall from their cadge. "You know, you are the first person to ever ask me what's wrong and mean it... your the first person who has ever asked me if I needed to talk.. So if I talk to you, will you listen...?"

The silver haired sensei bent down, sitting next to the blonde. "Of course I will. I'll listen to anything you have to say."

"I... don't have anything to say besides the fact that I like him. But what if he finds me gross, or laughs at me? What would I do if he never wants to see my face again because liking a guy is disgusting to him..? But I have to tell him... I want.. to tell him."

Naruto took a deep breath starring at the ground.

"Sensei, I am gay... nd there is a certain person that I like now... and it's..."

Naruto shed a tear as the memories of his first cut started replaying in his delicate mind.

Flashback to four years ago... (Naruto would be 13)

"S-Sasuke... even though we fight, I still have this weird feeling in side my chest. Every time I look at you and get near you... It's like my stomach gets butterflies and my heart starts to beat really fast... SO please... just don't go! Don't leave the village and go to Orochimaru! Please! Stay! Stay for me!" Naruto confessed, he confessed these pent up feelings that had been bothering him for so long.

The emotions that were so foriegn to him, and they felt so wrong.

But then... could any one explain to the blonde, on why they felt so right at the same time?

Could any one explain to him that what he was feeling was perfectly natural?

Even if it was for another guy... could any one show him that he wasn't wrong...?

Or would they treat him as something disgusting, then walk away?

"Huh? Naruto? Are you... by any chance gay?! And your confessing to me of all people? Ha! I would never date you! Your a guy! What is wrong with you? Just leave me the hell alone already and let me kill you!"

Little did Sasuke know... his words hurt more than anything else ever could have...

Two weeks later...

"Ahh I'm so stupid! At this rate Sasuke will never come back home because I scared him away...! I-I'just so gross... but... I cant help it if I love him... so why... why cant he love me too?" The blonde fell to the floor, knife in one hand while the other holding his wrist still.

"Why... why does everything in my life turn out like this...!?" The tip of the knife punctured the tan, priceless skin. Allowing just a tiny bit of the pure red blood to spill out.

"WHY...!? Why did my parents have to die and put the damn nine tails inside of me! Why did every one have to be so scared of me and treat me like I was some kind of disease! What did I ever do to them? Why has no one ever let me be their friend? Why does every one hate me?! Why... why am I not good enough for this world..." His hand pulled the knifes blade over, slicing the rest of the skin open.

The blood dripping.

The cool air against his new wound.

The tears sliding down from his gorgeous blue eyes.

"Why... does no one love me...?" Those were his last words to be said through his uncontrollable sobs.

Blood kept running off his arm, then dripped down onto the grey carpet.

He sliced more, cut more, bled more...

Until he could do no more...

Finishing his first cut.

End of flashback...

"Naruto... I kind of figured he was, but why does he have tears in his eyes because of it? Unless...!" The silver haired sensei looked to the blonde with comforting eyes.

"You know, Naruto, it's okay to like guys. There is nothing wrong with it, for a matter of fact I play for the same team as you. I like guys too."

The blondes eyes washed over with a new emotion that he couldn't quite place.

Maybe... it was happiness?

Or maybe a shocking excitement?

"Sensei..? You are like me?! You... don't find me disgusting because, you like other guys too?"

Kakashi had a slight frown form in his eyes. "Disgusting...? No, I would never find you disgusting, even if I wasn't like this."

The blonde exhaled, as more tears escaped their jail cell. "A-are you s-sure?"

"Yes... Ever since I was around fourteen I knew that I didn't like girls. They never spiked my attention or turned me on, so I explored a little and found out what I really like. There is nothing wrong with it, so no matter what Sasuke said at the valley that day... that is just his opinion and his only. Okay?"

Naruto jumped, "H-how did you know what he said?"

"My nin dogs were watching the whole time. They also told me everything that was said... But not every one feels the same way that Sasuke does, and not every one feels the same way he does about you either." Kakashi leaned over, dropping his mask down.

Naruto was paralyzed, turning more red and red as the fleeting moment passed.

"Some people may love you in a way he denied you..."

With those last words, with out regret, their lips connected.

TO BE CONTINUED :D

This story and some events to happen are kind of based on a real story. I wanted to use real events from my life to help others. SO I hope with all my heart, that when this story finishes, it would have helped some people in need of it. love you all for reading this! Please review! But no bad reviews please! :)