A Matter of Honest Opinion:
Chapter One: Bad Faith
Draco Malfoy bounced into his bedroom and began to search for his broom. It wasn't under his bed, or on top of the wardrobe, or even, he found, in his closet. It was then that he noticed something off about the whole situation, and he poked his head out of said closet warily.
His room was bare.
No posters, not even his lucky "50 Ways to Annoy Gryffindors and Get Away With It" one. No books. No bookshelf. Not even a rug, he thought, somewhat disturbed. He stood and came out, dusting his robes off. He crossed his arms and put on a thoughtful face.
His room was completely devoid of personal belongings. The only things that were present were a small desk with a writing lamp, the wardrobe, which he noticed then was completely empty, a mirror on the far wall, and the bed. The Bed. It loomed, twice the size that it normally was, with black silk sheets and rumpled blankets. It looked like a Sex Bed. One that had just had people having Sex on it.
This was highly annoying, as Draco hadn't been one of those people, and as far as he was concerned, if anyone was to be having sex on his bed, it was going to be himself. And no one else.
He considered this, and decided to allow for whoever he was having sex with. But no one beyond that. Well... He reconsidered again. Maybe if they were waiting their turn. But certainly no more after that!
He came to this conclusion just in time it appeared, for suddenly there was a knock on the door. Draco blinked. Had he left it shut? He didn't think that he had.
There was another knock, and finally the door opened. His father walked in, a somewhat perturbed expression on his face.
"Draco," Lucius began, and then hesitated.
Draco cocked his head to one side, the picture of patience. Lucius looked at him, seemed to shudder, than turned around and drew a key ring from his pocket. He proceeded to lock the door, which was odd as Draco was entirely certain that he hadn't even *had* a Muggle lock on it before this.
Lucius turned back to face him, and put a hand to his temple and massaged the skin there as though he was fighting off a migraine. He walked over to the bed and plopped down, despite the fact that it was an entirely ungraceful movement and that Malfoys never, ever "plopped."
"Draco," He said again, and hesitated once more. Draco waited but this time his father was able to catch himself. "Son, I'm afraid I need to rape you."
Draco blinked.
"Come again?" He croaked, his eyes gone rather wide.
Lucius nodded and shrugged out of his robes, leaving them puddled beneath himself on the Sex Bed. Draco looked at him, completely appalled.
"And *why* do you have to do this?"
Lucius looked slightly shifty. Draco edged closer to the desk and curled one hand about the lamp. His father didn't seem to notice.
"It's a angst slash fic." Lucius shrugged at Draco's look. "Look, you're the main character so you get raped and slapped about a lot."
"Oh, swell for *me*."
The older man nodded. Draco pulled the lamp in front of him, holding it two fisted. Lucius continued. "You see, this is an Abused!Draco story, specifically an L/D. And, unfortunately for you, most stories like this get straight to the point by adding in rape with heaps of beatings."
"So, what's you're trying to say is that this is an...L/D...fic?"
"I'm afraid so, my son."
"And I'm assuming that L/D isn't a hallucinatory drug of some sort?"
"Ah, no." Lucius stood and began to take off his shirt. Draco was feeling rather queasy.
"So, why are you going to rape me again?"
Lucius paused in his activities and shot an exasperated look at his son. "I have to rape you so that Harry Potter can find your bruised and broken body, thus providing an angsty scene where the two of you fall in love."
"Oh." Then it seemed to process.
"Father, that's disgusting."
"It's all a matter of personal opinion, Draco. I'm sure that there are lots of people who want to have their bruised and broken bodies presented to Harry Potter."
"Yes, but I'm not one of them!"
Lucius gave him a sympathetic look. Considering that he was nearly half naked at this point, it wasn't very comforting.
Draco continued to watch his father, a wary look still very much present in his eyes. "Ah, Father?"
"What is it *now*, Draco?"
"I don't want to fall in love with Potter. He has bad teeth. And bad breath. Hell, he's got the worst sense of personal hygiene in the year, and there's not a chance that I want to fall in love with him. Then I'd have to snog him or something."
Lucius shook his head at his son's naivety and finally managed to remove his shirt completely. "Try shag, Draco. Not just snogging, not even the full-frontal kind. We're talking NC-17."
"Now that's just nasty. I refuse to have sex with Potter! Er, why are you taking your pants off?"
"So I can rape you!" He paused in his actions and shot Draco a rather disgusted look. "I swear, the only way I can get through each day is by reassuring myself that your genes come completely from your mother's side of the family. There's no explaining it otherwise."
Draco gave his father an affronted look. "Look, Dad," He said firmly, "Why would you want to rape me in the first place? There's no evidence of sexual abuse in the books, not even any evidence for physical abuse, and there's no reason for you to want to see me off in Potter's smelly arms. I'd only turn against you and fight for Dumbledore and become friends with Harry's Mudblood friends after all, and then one of them or I would end up killing you to make up for the years of abuse supposedly inflicted on me. And then there would be tears and crying, and you know I don't *do* crying, it makes my face go all red and splotchy. So please, for the love of Salazar, put your clothes back on and we shall never speak of this incident again."
Lucius sighed heavily and sat down on the bed. Unfortunately he was now completely nude, and this didn't make Draco feel much better. Lucius patted the bed beside him, obviously wanting Draco to go over near him. Draco wasn't stupid. He stayed right where he was, pressed firmly against the locked door, holding the lamp to use as a weapon in case his father came too close.
"Draco, my dragon," Lucius began, but paused at the disgusted look on his son's face. "You've never called me that before! No nicknames, that's not like you!" Lucius, however, ignored this and continued. "I don't have a choice in this. Honestly!" Lucius stood, swinging free, and began to pace the room. "I'm not a *bad* father," he went on, somewhat petulantly.
"No, you're just trying to RAPE ME!"
Lucius ignored that as well.
"I went to all your Junior Quidditch games when you were younger, I get you gifts and support your school, I'm preparing for your future, I turn the other way when you sleep with the entire Hogwarts staff on a dare, including Hagrid, Draco, and if you think that this is disgusting I want to know how you managed that!"
"I was drunk." Draco said mutinously, his face painted bright red. "I don't even remember it. It might never have even happened."
"It was Hagrid, Draco and you let him take pictures. Besides, being drunk is no excuse. You say you're drunk when you've slept with Snape and didn't mean to. Sex with that giant...is simply disturbing."
Draco muttered something involving yellow ribbons and Lucius pretended that he didn't hear. "It might have been Polyjuice, you know. Someone could be trying to ruin my good name."
Yet again he was ignored.
"I'm a good person, really," Lucius was saying. "I want what's best for our people, to keep us safe. I don't beat you, I don't beat your mother, who is, by the way, not an insane gibbering madwoman who needs a fully padded cell at Saint Mungos."
"So than why are you doing this again?" Draco asked, hands still steady on the lamp. Lucius turned back to him and put his hands on his hips. Draco wished he wouldn't. It made for a rather distracting sight. Of course, it was distracting in the same manner that a four way Splinch was distracting, but there you go.
"I'm doing this so that you can eventually shag Harry Potter."
"Who I don't want to shag at all."
Lucius shrugged. "That's not my problem. Like you said, I'll be dead by the end of all of this anyway. My role in this is simply to fuck you so that you can betray me."
"And you don't see a problem with this?"
"I can get through it. I've slept with your mother, haven't I?"
Draco made a face. "Okay, nasty thought that."
"Sorry." Lucius was starting to move towards him. Draco thought fast. "Why Potter? Why not Granger, she's pretty enough, or Pansy? Hell, even Weasley's little sister would do at this point. Someone, who is, you know, a girl? With breasts? And no penis?"
Lucius looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose that you could take a Jusenkyo potion and turn yourself into a girl. Would that do?"
"No!" Draco scowled at him. "I refuse to take part in this. I'm not going to sleep with Potter, and I'm sure as hell not going to sleep with you. I'm not gay, dammit!"
Lucius snorted. "Oh, come off it, Draco. In every one of these fics you look like a girl any way."
This, at least was true. Draco reached his a hand up carefully to feel hair that had suddenly gained nearly a foot in length and pooled over his shoulders and half way down his back. The mirror on the far wall cast back an image of himself and he was rather disgusted to see wide, mercury grey eyes and pale, smooth skin made almost luminescent by the poor lighting. He sneered at his face. His reflection looked rather like a puppy trying to be fierce. /Not even a Doberman,/ he thought wistfully. /Just a sodding puppy./
He returned his hand to the lamp and his gaze to his father, who was suddenly looming over him. He realized too late that in stories like these he usually lost five inches of height and two scones in weight. He meeped.
"Now be a good boy and turn around, would you?" Lucius looked slightly bored. "I want to get this over with. I've got a meeting with the supreme ambassador of evil at three and I don't want to be late for it."
His hands reached for Draco's top robe button. Draco slammed the lamp into his head.
Lucius collapsed on the ground in a very naked pile. Draco poked him with a toe, and receiving no response, kicked him a few times.
Feeling slightly mollified, Draco stepped over his father and picked up the discarded pants lying beside the bed. He shuffled in the pockets, pulled out the keys and his wand. He glared at it suspiciously before sticking it into his pocket and walking back to the door, careful to tread several times on his father's back and head. He unlocked the door and exited, feeling rather disgusted with the whole scenario.
/So someone wants me to get it on with Potter,/ he thought, somewhat bemused at it. /Like that's ever going to happen!/
As he walked, he used his wand to trim his hair back to a suitable length, only to have it grow back and arrange itself into a pretty braid. A ribbon appeared to tie the end. He stared at it in horror. The ribbon was rainbow striped. It had "I *heart* Harry" in glitter print. As he watched, the lettered disappeared only to return with "Go Gryffinfor!" They started to blink.
Entirely pissed off now, Draco stalked down the hallway, kicking at a House Elf on his way out. "Fuck angst slash!" He bellowed at it. It ran away rather quickly. "I'm not sleeping with Harry bloody Potter! No way! Not a chance!"
He didn't know what was going on, but he was certain that someone did. They were probably laughing at him, but he was determined not to give in.
/Someone,/ he thought darkly, face cast in shades of grey shadow and pure light, /is going to *pay*./
The effect probably would have been better if he hadn't suddenly realized that under his wizard robes he was wearing a skirt.
The resounding furious scream that followed echoed through out the Manor.
Author's Notes I love slash. I'm a total H/D shipper. It's amazing. It's great. It's wonderful. The sheer amount of it boggles my mind. The sheer amount of bad H/D makes me want to cry. The amount of times rapist!Lucius has been used to further an H/D plot makes me want to scream. Hence this fic. Somewhere out there, I'm fairly certain, there is a good H/D story that incorporates L/D and does it well. I just haven't found it yet. No offence to anyone meant, whether they be L/D shippers or not. It's just meant for fun. Points to whoever can identify where the potion comes from.
Draco Malfoy bounced into his bedroom and began to search for his broom. It wasn't under his bed, or on top of the wardrobe, or even, he found, in his closet. It was then that he noticed something off about the whole situation, and he poked his head out of said closet warily.
His room was bare.
No posters, not even his lucky "50 Ways to Annoy Gryffindors and Get Away With It" one. No books. No bookshelf. Not even a rug, he thought, somewhat disturbed. He stood and came out, dusting his robes off. He crossed his arms and put on a thoughtful face.
His room was completely devoid of personal belongings. The only things that were present were a small desk with a writing lamp, the wardrobe, which he noticed then was completely empty, a mirror on the far wall, and the bed. The Bed. It loomed, twice the size that it normally was, with black silk sheets and rumpled blankets. It looked like a Sex Bed. One that had just had people having Sex on it.
This was highly annoying, as Draco hadn't been one of those people, and as far as he was concerned, if anyone was to be having sex on his bed, it was going to be himself. And no one else.
He considered this, and decided to allow for whoever he was having sex with. But no one beyond that. Well... He reconsidered again. Maybe if they were waiting their turn. But certainly no more after that!
He came to this conclusion just in time it appeared, for suddenly there was a knock on the door. Draco blinked. Had he left it shut? He didn't think that he had.
There was another knock, and finally the door opened. His father walked in, a somewhat perturbed expression on his face.
"Draco," Lucius began, and then hesitated.
Draco cocked his head to one side, the picture of patience. Lucius looked at him, seemed to shudder, than turned around and drew a key ring from his pocket. He proceeded to lock the door, which was odd as Draco was entirely certain that he hadn't even *had* a Muggle lock on it before this.
Lucius turned back to face him, and put a hand to his temple and massaged the skin there as though he was fighting off a migraine. He walked over to the bed and plopped down, despite the fact that it was an entirely ungraceful movement and that Malfoys never, ever "plopped."
"Draco," He said again, and hesitated once more. Draco waited but this time his father was able to catch himself. "Son, I'm afraid I need to rape you."
Draco blinked.
"Come again?" He croaked, his eyes gone rather wide.
Lucius nodded and shrugged out of his robes, leaving them puddled beneath himself on the Sex Bed. Draco looked at him, completely appalled.
"And *why* do you have to do this?"
Lucius looked slightly shifty. Draco edged closer to the desk and curled one hand about the lamp. His father didn't seem to notice.
"It's a angst slash fic." Lucius shrugged at Draco's look. "Look, you're the main character so you get raped and slapped about a lot."
"Oh, swell for *me*."
The older man nodded. Draco pulled the lamp in front of him, holding it two fisted. Lucius continued. "You see, this is an Abused!Draco story, specifically an L/D. And, unfortunately for you, most stories like this get straight to the point by adding in rape with heaps of beatings."
"So, what's you're trying to say is that this is an...L/D...fic?"
"I'm afraid so, my son."
"And I'm assuming that L/D isn't a hallucinatory drug of some sort?"
"Ah, no." Lucius stood and began to take off his shirt. Draco was feeling rather queasy.
"So, why are you going to rape me again?"
Lucius paused in his activities and shot an exasperated look at his son. "I have to rape you so that Harry Potter can find your bruised and broken body, thus providing an angsty scene where the two of you fall in love."
"Oh." Then it seemed to process.
"Father, that's disgusting."
"It's all a matter of personal opinion, Draco. I'm sure that there are lots of people who want to have their bruised and broken bodies presented to Harry Potter."
"Yes, but I'm not one of them!"
Lucius gave him a sympathetic look. Considering that he was nearly half naked at this point, it wasn't very comforting.
Draco continued to watch his father, a wary look still very much present in his eyes. "Ah, Father?"
"What is it *now*, Draco?"
"I don't want to fall in love with Potter. He has bad teeth. And bad breath. Hell, he's got the worst sense of personal hygiene in the year, and there's not a chance that I want to fall in love with him. Then I'd have to snog him or something."
Lucius shook his head at his son's naivety and finally managed to remove his shirt completely. "Try shag, Draco. Not just snogging, not even the full-frontal kind. We're talking NC-17."
"Now that's just nasty. I refuse to have sex with Potter! Er, why are you taking your pants off?"
"So I can rape you!" He paused in his actions and shot Draco a rather disgusted look. "I swear, the only way I can get through each day is by reassuring myself that your genes come completely from your mother's side of the family. There's no explaining it otherwise."
Draco gave his father an affronted look. "Look, Dad," He said firmly, "Why would you want to rape me in the first place? There's no evidence of sexual abuse in the books, not even any evidence for physical abuse, and there's no reason for you to want to see me off in Potter's smelly arms. I'd only turn against you and fight for Dumbledore and become friends with Harry's Mudblood friends after all, and then one of them or I would end up killing you to make up for the years of abuse supposedly inflicted on me. And then there would be tears and crying, and you know I don't *do* crying, it makes my face go all red and splotchy. So please, for the love of Salazar, put your clothes back on and we shall never speak of this incident again."
Lucius sighed heavily and sat down on the bed. Unfortunately he was now completely nude, and this didn't make Draco feel much better. Lucius patted the bed beside him, obviously wanting Draco to go over near him. Draco wasn't stupid. He stayed right where he was, pressed firmly against the locked door, holding the lamp to use as a weapon in case his father came too close.
"Draco, my dragon," Lucius began, but paused at the disgusted look on his son's face. "You've never called me that before! No nicknames, that's not like you!" Lucius, however, ignored this and continued. "I don't have a choice in this. Honestly!" Lucius stood, swinging free, and began to pace the room. "I'm not a *bad* father," he went on, somewhat petulantly.
"No, you're just trying to RAPE ME!"
Lucius ignored that as well.
"I went to all your Junior Quidditch games when you were younger, I get you gifts and support your school, I'm preparing for your future, I turn the other way when you sleep with the entire Hogwarts staff on a dare, including Hagrid, Draco, and if you think that this is disgusting I want to know how you managed that!"
"I was drunk." Draco said mutinously, his face painted bright red. "I don't even remember it. It might never have even happened."
"It was Hagrid, Draco and you let him take pictures. Besides, being drunk is no excuse. You say you're drunk when you've slept with Snape and didn't mean to. Sex with that giant...is simply disturbing."
Draco muttered something involving yellow ribbons and Lucius pretended that he didn't hear. "It might have been Polyjuice, you know. Someone could be trying to ruin my good name."
Yet again he was ignored.
"I'm a good person, really," Lucius was saying. "I want what's best for our people, to keep us safe. I don't beat you, I don't beat your mother, who is, by the way, not an insane gibbering madwoman who needs a fully padded cell at Saint Mungos."
"So than why are you doing this again?" Draco asked, hands still steady on the lamp. Lucius turned back to him and put his hands on his hips. Draco wished he wouldn't. It made for a rather distracting sight. Of course, it was distracting in the same manner that a four way Splinch was distracting, but there you go.
"I'm doing this so that you can eventually shag Harry Potter."
"Who I don't want to shag at all."
Lucius shrugged. "That's not my problem. Like you said, I'll be dead by the end of all of this anyway. My role in this is simply to fuck you so that you can betray me."
"And you don't see a problem with this?"
"I can get through it. I've slept with your mother, haven't I?"
Draco made a face. "Okay, nasty thought that."
"Sorry." Lucius was starting to move towards him. Draco thought fast. "Why Potter? Why not Granger, she's pretty enough, or Pansy? Hell, even Weasley's little sister would do at this point. Someone, who is, you know, a girl? With breasts? And no penis?"
Lucius looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose that you could take a Jusenkyo potion and turn yourself into a girl. Would that do?"
"No!" Draco scowled at him. "I refuse to take part in this. I'm not going to sleep with Potter, and I'm sure as hell not going to sleep with you. I'm not gay, dammit!"
Lucius snorted. "Oh, come off it, Draco. In every one of these fics you look like a girl any way."
This, at least was true. Draco reached his a hand up carefully to feel hair that had suddenly gained nearly a foot in length and pooled over his shoulders and half way down his back. The mirror on the far wall cast back an image of himself and he was rather disgusted to see wide, mercury grey eyes and pale, smooth skin made almost luminescent by the poor lighting. He sneered at his face. His reflection looked rather like a puppy trying to be fierce. /Not even a Doberman,/ he thought wistfully. /Just a sodding puppy./
He returned his hand to the lamp and his gaze to his father, who was suddenly looming over him. He realized too late that in stories like these he usually lost five inches of height and two scones in weight. He meeped.
"Now be a good boy and turn around, would you?" Lucius looked slightly bored. "I want to get this over with. I've got a meeting with the supreme ambassador of evil at three and I don't want to be late for it."
His hands reached for Draco's top robe button. Draco slammed the lamp into his head.
Lucius collapsed on the ground in a very naked pile. Draco poked him with a toe, and receiving no response, kicked him a few times.
Feeling slightly mollified, Draco stepped over his father and picked up the discarded pants lying beside the bed. He shuffled in the pockets, pulled out the keys and his wand. He glared at it suspiciously before sticking it into his pocket and walking back to the door, careful to tread several times on his father's back and head. He unlocked the door and exited, feeling rather disgusted with the whole scenario.
/So someone wants me to get it on with Potter,/ he thought, somewhat bemused at it. /Like that's ever going to happen!/
As he walked, he used his wand to trim his hair back to a suitable length, only to have it grow back and arrange itself into a pretty braid. A ribbon appeared to tie the end. He stared at it in horror. The ribbon was rainbow striped. It had "I *heart* Harry" in glitter print. As he watched, the lettered disappeared only to return with "Go Gryffinfor!" They started to blink.
Entirely pissed off now, Draco stalked down the hallway, kicking at a House Elf on his way out. "Fuck angst slash!" He bellowed at it. It ran away rather quickly. "I'm not sleeping with Harry bloody Potter! No way! Not a chance!"
He didn't know what was going on, but he was certain that someone did. They were probably laughing at him, but he was determined not to give in.
/Someone,/ he thought darkly, face cast in shades of grey shadow and pure light, /is going to *pay*./
The effect probably would have been better if he hadn't suddenly realized that under his wizard robes he was wearing a skirt.
The resounding furious scream that followed echoed through out the Manor.
Author's Notes I love slash. I'm a total H/D shipper. It's amazing. It's great. It's wonderful. The sheer amount of it boggles my mind. The sheer amount of bad H/D makes me want to cry. The amount of times rapist!Lucius has been used to further an H/D plot makes me want to scream. Hence this fic. Somewhere out there, I'm fairly certain, there is a good H/D story that incorporates L/D and does it well. I just haven't found it yet. No offence to anyone meant, whether they be L/D shippers or not. It's just meant for fun. Points to whoever can identify where the potion comes from.