December 2013

It's almost Christmas and although it's been months, the pall of loss remains heavy in the squad room as he walks in to face yet another day without her sitting across the room from him. It's been like this ever since she left. Although it was to be expected, it hadn't made it any easier knowing that once again they had to pick up and carry on, while mourning, not her death thank goodness, but the void her absence has left in their hearts.

He can't help but frown as he braces himself for what he knows is coming next, as the elevator announces itself on the floor, opening up to reveal the Senior Field Agent. Tony's inner turmoil at Ziva's departure has become more visible by the day and it's all Tim can do to keep his mouth shut. After all, it's not his place to break her confidence. She's made him promise not to say anything to any of them.

As he recalls their conversation on the matter; he remembers her exact words:

"It is our business. They will not understand that it never could have happened any other way. It is best just to do what we can to not hurt their feelings. What they do not know cannot hurt them."

He's not sure he agrees with her, but what he does know is that things have sure changed since she's acted on her decision to leave the team. Getting through each workday without her, going out in the field as a new duo, Tim and Tony both have borne the change with a quiet moodiness that has somehow managed to strengthen their working connection. Their cases have not suffered and the head slaps from the boss have been few and far between. Then again, Tim rarely saw that form of kinship from Gibbs to begin with so he didn't miss them, although he did miss seeing the normalcy of Tony receiving one.

Speaking of the boss; his silence has become almost sorrowful. There's no doubt Ziva's leaving has hit him hard too. His refusal to fill her spot on the team hasn't been mentioned which in itself speaks volumes of where their hearts are. They'd only waited two months to actively search for her replacement the last time she'd left the team. Would they fill her spot this time, now that she wasn't coming back?

It's been hard to miss Gibbs glaring at Tim like he knows something, but Tim has had no trouble holding his silence, merely glancing away when his eyes meet those of the steely-blue-eyed hawk across the room. It's always an uncomfortable moment when that happens; but it always passes as if it had never happened. Did Gibbs know? Did he want to know? Tim manages to cast these questions aside and focus on work, after a brief moment of uncertainty. Work, after all, must go on regardless.

"Mornin' Tim." Tony greets quietly as he's been doing since Ziva left. No longer does the older man tease him with any other names or snide remarks or put-downs. It's as if he's lost the urge since their buffer's gone.

Tim doesn't comment on it; never has. Instead, he returns the quiet greeting and hands Tony a fresh cup of coffee.

Tony smiles softly. "Thanks."

Without another word, they get down to work. As is the norm these days, Gibbs saunters into a quiet squad room and has no need to say anything. The day crawls by with no active call-out and only cold cases to fill in the gap. Cold cases don't need anyone else sitting in that chair. Maybe that's why there's no rush to fill that seat. At least, that's the excuse that seems to work.

By the end of the day, they're all ready to go home. The inactivity of digging through cold cases is wearing them down. While there is little inquiry into them spending off time together getting a drink or some other amusement, there is just as little time spent on getting to their respective cars and driving away.

Tim's ride home is pleasant these days; having something to look forward to at the end of the drive has made all the difference in the world. He's never had a girlfriend quite like this before and he knows he doesn't want anyone else in his future. She's the one. The one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

As he reaches his destination, he can't help but smile. He pockets his keys and makes his way up to the apartment door. As it opens for him, he envelopes her in his arms even as she speaks first.

"How was your day?"

"I missed you today, Ziva."

***FINIS***