A/N: I appreciate all the feedback and reviews. Especially the ones that were with me from the beginning to end. And thank you to the many many others who left me words of encouragement and praise. Again, I apologize for the lack of response on my part and the ridiculous amount of time it took me to finish this fic.
xxxxx
It was a strange thing to dream and within the dream know it is a dream. She was unable to wake herself, though she was terrified. Her father used to tell her it was called sleep paralysis and taught her a little trick. If she started with her toes and wiggled them and then moved to her feet, she could wake herself up. It didn't work for these types of dreams.
It was always the same. It felt as if someone was probing her mind as she stood in that dark corner of the woods under a milky full moon. The wolf was there just staring and growling as if to remind her how she took its life. The guilt was strong in her dream state. Sometimes she'd feel another presence there, like an onlooker trying to memorize her face.
She was certain there was something more to these dreams but she trusted Damon's instincts. If he felt they were nothing then they were probably nothing.
She sat on a rock facing the wolf, wishing there was something she could do to change the scenario. Where was that green pasture she sometimes found? The wolf morphed into a young girl that Elena could never remember what exactly she looked like upon waking.
"What's your name?" the girl asked innocently. She was nude, barely reaching puberty. Elena guessed she was maybe eleven at the most.
Elena didn't answer her, she was too afraid. She put up a block in her mind, refusing to let that probing feeling dig further. She always did this, it came naturally to her.
Suddenly Elena's mind was singed in pain and she startled awake, fingers digging into Damon's sides. He shifted in pain and said, "Sorry, I didn't know how to wake you this time. You wouldn't let me in."
She sat up shakily, noticing the car was silent and pulled over. All eyes were on her. She felt the sweat on her skin and heard her heart beating too fast. She swallowed thickly and stated, "Someone is trying to get in my head. That wolf, a little girl. She wants to know who I am."
This time Damon didn't look unaffected. He looked worried and almost angry. He tried to mask it but this time she caught it. She knew this wasn't quite right and that there would be repercussions to killing that wolf. They were trying to find her, she knew it.
"Like I said, it was young, it didn't know what it was doing and got itself killed. It attacked us, not the other way around," Damon said gently, taking her sweaty hand in his.
"How long have you been having these dreams Elena?" Stefan asked, handing her a water bottle from Caroline's purse.
She took it thankfully and gulped it down before replying, "I don't know, a while." She glanced out the window, watching cars whiz by on the highway. She didn't like the way they all stared at her.
She pulled her hand out of Damon's and raked her fingers through her hair, trying to hide her face for a moment. She knew something was wrong and she knew everyone else knew it too, but she was grateful when the subject was changed and Damon didn't coax her into revealing her face from its position towards the window.
No music played as they climbed towards Mystic Falls. Elena guessed they were about an hour out and she had to battle the fatigue that hit her. She finally glanced away from the window, snapping herself alert. She tried snacking, avoiding Damon's eyes as she crunched noisily on ranch corn nuts that stunk up the whole car. She knew he hated these things but they were her favorite.
When she'd finished those she leaned between Caroline and Stefan to grab the remaining gummies. It was then that Stefan subtly and gently took her hand in his and peered into her eyes. She felt the worry and the bond that remained and it meant something deep to her. She would always love him in these ways.
"I'm okay," she whispered with a short smile. It was Caroline who ran her hand down Elena's head and ruffled her hair, her eyes on the road.
When she sat back down Damon wordlessly plucked the gummies from her hand and pulled her against him, forcing her cheek onto his shoulder with a firm palm.
"Sleep, I'll be with you," he said.
She knew it would exhaust him to enter her mind for the nap but she craved a peaceful sleep. She wanted to learn how to ease into minds with the fluidity that he did. She'd only done it once when it was an intrusion and had been too frightened to do it again.
He was there when her eyes closed, directing every thought she had to something less worrisome until she was asleep. He had her on a float at the lake house. She felt that probing feeling of someone being where they shouldn't be. Her immediate instinct was to fight it, much like when he entered her mind to show her his life before.
"Ah, there you are. I hear and see what goes through your mind just as you hear and see it. I feel what you are feeling. It's intrusive I know, but trust me. I'll put you somewhere peaceful. No wolves," he said, his voice so clear.
Her mind immediately drifted to the thoughts she used to have of him when she was Stefan's and she shouldn't have felt things for his brother. She touched on the moments when Stefan was gone and she let herself slip. She flinched knowing he could see and feel these thoughts right along with her. It was intrusive. She would have been mortified and unforgiving if he had slipped into her mind as she slept in Denver or when The Ripper ran away with half of her heart. God, what a realization that the other half had stayed with her and piece by piece she let it beat for Damon. It was kind of him to have never entered her mind before these few times. He could have so easily.
Her eyes met his and they were so damn blue and he was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Did he know how beautiful he was? She'd told him so often but she still didn't feel he grasped just how she saw him. Even when his lips were stained with blood and he was so cold towards her in the past, he was…she couldn't conjure up the words for what he was and what she felt when she placed him in the "Damon folder" of her mind. He was just a feeling and it was equivalent to a first high and a first low all bottled into one. It was euphoria and despair and he sat in between it like a crow on a gravestone; raven black and dignified.
"You're more different than I ever imagined the longer I know you in these ways," he admitted, interrupting her flurry of uncontrollable thoughts. "You think with so many words and when you can't find any more you keep digging for them. Most people just replay memories and the emotions that come with them. You do both. You think and feel everything. You're a lot like Stefan in that way."
She should be scared of someone reaching into her mind like this. Maybe she was a little. She didn't want him to see the ugliness of her thoughts where she turned things over and over and indulged in the ugliness that she rarely let people see. She wasn't as sweet as she tried to portray on the outside. She could be mean and spiteful and unforgiving. She didn't like that he compared her to Stefan and she fought with little success to keep that locked away.
"You are no monster for your thoughts," Damon told her, his fingers suddenly present in her hands. They were wet and cold.
She didn't respond because she didn't have to. He could see it all anyway. All those hidden things like jealousy and self-hatred. Those times she took a few pills and gripped the counter tops in her bathroom, seething at her reflection that she shared with a woman he'd…they'd loved. She didn't like this anymore.
He immediately took her to that moment at her birthday when he gave her the necklace back. It was a good moment for them both and he wanted to change it just so. He wanted her to sleep peacefully in a moment that meant something safe to them both. She felt his wants and needs just as clearly as she felt her own. She realized he was letting her in too. They were sharing this dream. She could look for anything she wanted inside his mind. Oddly enough, she didn't even know where to begin. She couldn't think of anything she didn't already know and feel. Anything from his past she knew he'd share if he felt like he needed to or if he just wanted to. With those thoughts, she felt his apprehension that stemmed from how she judged him harshly sometimes. It was something that would always be between them.
She let him clasp the necklace around her neck and they both stared at her young reflection. Her hair so sheet straight and eyes wide with wonder. She'd fallen in love with him then. The memory started to change as he turned her around slowly, that song playing downstairs with all those kids drinking and dancing while they hurt for the missing Salvatore that they both loved in an almost equal fierceness.
His fingers gently ran over the length of her neck, tracing her collar bone.
"Come lay in bed with me. Everything else can wait," he spoke. Her heart fluttered like it was all real. Like this was the path they chose that night.
So her high school self climbed into bed with Damon, laying on her side to face him, their noses inches apart and eyes locked. She wondered what would have happened if this was what they'd chosen that night. Would Denver had happened the way it did? Would their fight for Stefan hiccuped? Would they have made love while she was human and fragile, staining his sheets with the ultimate betrayal? She thought maybe she would have done it, it was in her then to do such a thing but Damon never pushed too far. Never, not until he asked that one question in Denver. Why not?
"Why not?" he asked with a smile.
She smiled back and drifted into a deeper sleep where upon waking, she remembered nothing after his last words.
Xxxxxx
Elena's eyes were drooping slightly before startling at the loud snap of a binder being clasped shut. She sighed and offered Caroline a meek grin. The girls had taken over the Salvatore kitchen table with wedding catalogs, binders with floral options, everything you could think of. Caroline had been kind and gave her a week before hounding her with wedding plans. A week. She'd only been engaged a week but it felt like forever. She loved the heavy way her ring settled on her finger. She stared at it more than she probably should, but every time she looked she found another detail she missed the first time…a lot like with Damon.
Everything he'd given her had been someone else's first. It would bother most people, but that was their mantra. Take something and make it better. Her daylight ring had been in Damon's possession before handing it over to Stefan after transition. Her necklace found and re-gifted as a birthday present just when she needed it most. The dress, the engagement ring. Not theirs initially but meant for them. Just like this life.
Caroline folded her arms tightly across her chest and nibbled at her lip a little. "Okay. So you hate weddings. Of course you do. You could have the wedding of my dreams and you could care less."
Elena smiled and stretched a little before replying, "You are an amazing wedding planner Care and it will be perfect. But you're right, I just don't get into all these little details. I just want to be Mrs. Damon Salvatore." Elena stopped at that, it was the first time she'd said it and it washed over her like the feeling when she rushed into his arms in Denver. To be his for a stolen moment or for an eternity. It felt the same, it felt like everything.
Caroline clicked her nails a little against the table before muttering something and reaching under the table to pull out a black binder and plopping it onto the scattered magazines. Elena leaned forward a little in curiosity.
"So I did a little research. Okay, a lot of research. There is such a thing as a vampire wedding. It's not my cup of tea but I know you and Damon like the dark and twisted from time to time."
Elena barely heard her; she was reaching for the binder with an excitement burning in her chest. Ever since George's vampire funeral, Elena had become intrigued with the whole side of vampirism and what it meant to belong to this hidden species. She hadn't given it much thought when she was just a teen dating Stefan or a baby vampire falling into this dizzying love for his brother. There was so much to learn and in a way she wanted to embrace this side more than anything. Suddenly she was excited about a wedding if it meant doing it in such a way that it celebrated the parts of her that brought her to Damon. Being a vampire opened up parts of her that had probably been pecking at its cage until he creaked open the little door.
That's what she wanted. She wanted be Damon's forever and celebrate what he'd seen in her all along. He knew the little birds that fluttered in their locked up cages. He'd poked through the wires even if he got bit. Then he set them free.
"Tell me everything," Elena said, opening the binder to the first tab. It was labeled dresses. Elena flipped through expecting to find picture collages of high end wedding dresses but instead found Caroline's loopy handwriting on a piece of paper.
Elena read aloud, "Typically the vampire bride wears a dress used by someone in her blood line. Text Klaus."
Elena wrinkled her nose, "Klaus?"
Caroline shrugged and examined her nails, "Yeah well, you want a vampire wedding and it gets weirder than that sweetie. He'll rattle off a few girls he turned that have been married. Let's just hope it's not hideous and from the eighties."
Caroline was right, it did get weirder and weirder so Elena decided it was probably best she involved Damon in the decision making. She found him tinkering in the garage with Stefan, trying to pound out the dent she'd left in the Camaro a week ago. It was hot out and even hotter in the garage; she was grateful for the airy mid-thigh sundress but wished she'd piled her hair that she was trying not to chop off before the wedding into her usual high knot.
Damon glanced up. He was basically just handing tools to Stefan, his white shirt impeccable in comparison to Stefan's stained in grease over sweaty arms and blackened fingers.
Elena winced a little when Stefan let out a growl of frustration, dropping his tool accidentally on the garage floor with a clank. Damon winked at her, not at all fazed by her apologetic glances. He'd been a little upset when she first admitted to the booboo she left on his car, but waved it off. "Anything can be fixed", he'd told her.
"No luck?" she asked hesitantly.
Stefan sighed and took a moment to wipe the sweat beading from his face with the back of his arm, causing more of a mess.
"Nope. But brother dearest did give her a little tune up. Changed the oil and whatnot. I can just take her somewhere for the dent where they'll charge me an obscene amount to which I'll laugh and talk them down. No biggie," Damon replied. He'd been so easy going lately and it made her nervous. She knew it had to do with the weird dreams. She knew he was scared. She'd catch it for a moment before he'd put a lot of space between them so she couldn't hone in on what exactly he was feeling.
She nodded slowly, blinking towards Stefan who looked ready to beat another dent into the car. Men and fixing things, she never understood the rage that always accompanied such tasks. Perhaps the testosterone.
"Um, well I just wanted to see if I could borrow you for a little bit. The wedding planning is proving to be…" she searched for the most tactful word.
"A huge pain in your ass?" Damon finished for her, folding his arms over his chest.
She smiled and let out a soft chuckle, glancing at her feet for a moment, "Yeah. Something like that."
He walked over to her and pulled her into his slightly sweat dampened shirt. She unabashedly breathed him in, loving everything about it.
"There's Vegas. There's the courthouse. There's just me and you and the few people we can stand to witness in some old crumbly church if that's your sort of thing. I don't really care Elena. I want it to be what you want it to be," he admitted, swaying her a little to some silly beat he played in his head.
"All that sounds fine. To be honest I don't really know what I want. It's just that Caroline brought up something I didn't even know existed and I wanted to hear your opinion for a second," she said, stilling him with her hands on his hips.
She could tell she even had Stefan's attention now. Damon breathed out of his mouth slowly before he asked, "Do you have any idea all that goes into a vampire wedding. They go on forever and there's a whole bunch of people that mean shit nothing to you and we are from Klaus's line. That means a room full of people who hate each other on top of it. It'll be a murderous setting for carnage and revenge. It's not a good idea. No thank you."
"Okay…" she agreed slowly. A small disappointment hitting her. She didn't like the sound of what he illustrated for her but there were aspects of it that she liked. What was wrong with twisting the rules a little anyway?
He seemed to pick up on that because he sighed softly and said, "But if it's what you want…"
"No, I don't want all that. I just like some aspects of it. If it weren't for vampirism then we wouldn't have…" she trailed off, not feeling exactly comfortable saying it in front of Stefan. How many times had he said it in the past, that after transition she wasn't herself and she wouldn't have ever made some of the choices she made had she been human. It was Damon who didn't believe that entirely. It was Damon who fought for her and taught her things she'd never opened up to because Stefan couldn't be open to them.
He quickly interceded, "Right. Okay, well let's go take a look and I'll give you my opinion if you want it."
She nodded gratefully and tossed Stefan a small smile before letting Damon playfully pinch at her sides as she walked in front of him towards the house. Caroline was clicking away on her phone, in deep concentration when they entered and sat down in front of her, Damon noisily letting his chair scrape across the floor before plopping down in a cloud of his delicious scent.
"Whatcha got Blondie?" he asked, drumming his fingers and sliding the black binder in one hand, the white in the other. "Good and evil, I get it. Nice. I like the color coded tabs too. Very organized," he stated, nodding with raised eyebrows. Elena elbowed him and Caroline just rolled her eyes that she kept trained on her phone.
"Who are you texting?" Elena asked nervously.
Caroline bit her lip and lowered her voice, "Klaus."
"Oh God why…" Damon moaned.
"He's being ridiculous as usual, saying he'll fly in a bazillion doves to be released for the ceremony but will not step foot near his line. I guess I get that. But you do get that a main aspect of it is to get it blessed with the blood of the Original in your line. Needless to say, rarely is there a Klaus-line union," She continued reading the text in a really spot on Klaus voice, "a shame Rebekkah hadn't turned the lot of you. She loves this trivial damning of two souls ceremonial torture."
"I didn't really want him there anyway, I don't care about that part," Elena hurriedly replied, settling her hand on Damon's thigh. He was bouncing his leg up and down with way too much nervous tension pouring out of him.
"I could probably persuade him to send a vial of his blood though," she continued, tapping her chin thoughtfully and clicking away on her phone again.
"At what price? You're cute and all but does he know you're with my brother, his pet?" Damon asked dully. He despised Klaus. So did Elena. He was a monster. But she'd bit her tongue regularly seeming how Caroline once thought the same of Damon. Maybe she still did despite the alcohol induced bonding they'd had over Elena's birthday trip.
Caroline stiffened and flashed him a warning glare, "If you must know I told him that first. He made fun of me for a bit but it's not like I'm asking for much. He owes you anyway as I see it…"
"He's so right, we'd be better off drinking the venom from Rebekkah's veins or his royal highness Elijah's," Damon muttered.
"Okay, so no vampire wedding. Let's just do something easy and small. No weird blood rituals, promise," Elena said, smiling at his disdain at the entire thing. She was glad she asked.
Caroline's phone buzzed and she said, "Wow, surprisingly he is fine with sending a vial of his blood. That's so nice of him." She paused when it buzzed again and her eyes narrowed, mouthing the words he had sent soon after before reading them aloud in her Klaus voice, "If you marry Stefan you'll have to pardon me but I'd soon rather send a vial of shit." She looked up when Damon laughed full bellied, her mouth wide open in surprise, "I can't believe he just said that to me!"
"That was rude, just tell him we don't want it," Elena assured her, waving her hand absently towards the phone.
Stefan strolled in then and looked questioningly at Damon who was still laughing. He didn't ask a thing when he saw the look on Caroline's face and just walked past them to wash his hands in the sink.
When Damon's chuckles finally tapered off he flipped through the black binder some more before clearing his throat and saying in the most seriousness he could conjure for her, "So what is it that you like about it. I don't want to nix the whole thing if you want to incorporate something from it all."
She wordlessly flipped to the tab about everyone sipping from the same goblet, a witch linking them all for a moment to feel the love as they feel it. She wanted to share it, let it consume others too if but for a moment. Maybe give them all hope that it was real and it was attainable. What a beautiful gift for those who would come to witness their eternal union. Maybe another part of her wanted to prove to everyone how real this was to her.
"Hmmm," he murmured, not looking as decisive about it as she.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly.
He shook his head a little and said, "It won't work without a proper link. As in maker to maker. My blood for you, Katherine's for um…raise your hand…"
Caroline grumbled and raised her hand, Stefan too, water dripping down his arm and leaving a skin toned trail through the grease.
She knew it sounded crazy but maybe that's what she wanted. Maybe having Katherine there wouldn't be so horrible. She was literally the closest in relation to Elena and evil as she may have been, she didn't seem so evil at George's vampire funeral. If it weren't for her, their story wouldn't be as it was. She'd have never known the Salvatores. Hell, she may have never been born if anything Katherine had ever done hadn't been done.
"Would…would that be so bad?" Elena asked tentatively.
It was very silent for a long time as Elena could barely keep eye contact but he stared at her unwaveringly. She offered a meek smile and raised her eyebrows, covering her mouth with her curled fingers as she propped on her hand to stare a little steadier up into his eyes.
His lips twitched into a smile and he closed his eyes briefly as he often did when calculating how to talk to her with thought instead of unfiltered reactions. He was probably calling her crazy and naive in his head.
"Elena. Why in the world would you want that woman at our wedding?" he finally asked calmly.
"It's not that I want her there specifically. I want to do this linking thing. Bonnie could perform it and everyone could…they'd know…it'd be…." She wasn't sure how to put it.
"She won't come," He interrupted her.
"Why?" Elena challenged him.
"She hates you," he said simply, folding his arms tightly across his chest like he always did when settling in for an argument.
"She hates everybody. So what," Elena shrugged.
"Do you realize how many enemies could possibly be there. She wouldn't risk it," Damon told her matter of factly.
Elena shook her head, "I don't mean to invite a ton of people. It doesn't have to stretch that far Damon. If she has to be there for me to do this then I want her there."
"Names please," Damon demanded.
"Well, Caroline and Stefan of course. Bonnie, Tyler, Matt, Jeremy and Lu-" she paused when she realized Lucy couldn't know about any of this. She couldn't even come if this was the route she took.
"We could compel her," Caroline offered softly. Elena looked at her with relief. At least somebody was taking pity on her.
"Jeremy would never allow it. Plus, she's pregnant. You want her sipping on vampire blood? What if something happens to her or the baby? She's got tons of vampire blood inside and boom, fucking Twilight baby hybrid shit," Damon shot back.
Elena shuddered at that. He was right. What was she thinking. She couldn't combine her vampire side with her human side even in marriage. It would just never work. That's why this had always been a choice to make. She looked at Stefan then, understanding that a little bit more. He seemed unreadable at the moment, as if he were not willing to voice his opinion on the subject. Or maybe he just didn't think he had a place.
"What do you think Stefan? Any ideas?" she asked him directly. He looked away then and she could practically feel the tension like a heavy blanket right now.
"I…I get what you want from the ritual, but I think you need to ask yourself what's important. You can't have everybody there that you want if you choose to do this. I think that means more to you right?" He said slowly, folding his arms in likeness to Damon.
She nodded and looked back at Caroline, "So how about half it. We'll do the vampire thing the night before the human friendly ceremony."
Caroline's eyes widened, "Are you sure? That's going to be…a lot."
"Elena…I'll just say it. I don't want to do it. I don't want her there and I don't want to share what's ours with anybody," Damon finally blurted out, eyes closed and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
She was surprised to say the least. She was surprised she found that she wanted something so bad that left such a bad taste in Damon's mouth. She knew he had his reasons and she should respect that but he wasn't giving much thought to what she wanted. It was important to her to share this. Why keep it to yourself when you could share it?
"That's selfish," she retorted, throwing her filter out the window.
Damon's eyes flashed and his was flying out right by hers. He threw his hands up, gesturing to lord knows what above his heads and exclaimed in a strained voice, "How in the hell is that selfish? It's private!"
"You're just afraid of letting anyone else in as usual," she muttered with much less gusto.
"Oh, nice. Classic. You're mad at me and we're back to that. Because I don't want Katherine fucking Pierce to share a second of what we have," he practically screamed.
He was livid and she shrunk back. He was right, that was pretty bold of her to ask of him. She hadn't really thought about that aspect of it. They had a long history of pain, for him especially.
She looked down and nodded, "Sorry. You're right. I wasn't thinking about that I guess…" she admitted.
Maybe Damon was shocked that their fight lasted a quarter of the time they usually did before one of them apologized. He dropped his head into his arms and hid his face for a while as Caroline and Stefan awkwardly remained silent, as if afraid to make any sort of movements.
They fought and fought hard but it was the only way they ever did things. It looked bad to outsiders but it was theirs. Elena would take it over the cold shoulder or his submission any day.
His voice was muffled, still buried in his arms when he finally replied, "I just can't share this with her. She doesn't deserve a second of it."
Her heart clenched. He really did still have a lot of anger towards her evil doppelganger and why shouldn't he? At the same time it was a good way to shove it in her face that Damon was a gift to be had and boy did she miss out. But, Elena wouldn't push. She understood now and she was fine with a small ceremony in the middle of the woods. Hell, the Salvatore garden looked splendid at this point.
"Okay," Elena assured him, tentatively resting her hand on his tense shoulder.
"This isn't something I really wanted to fight over. I just want you to be happy. But I'd be miserable if she were there. I think you would too after a few minutes of it. She'd probably wear white," he looked up and smiled the smallest of smiles.
He looked boyish and perfect and she smiled back at the joke. Though, he was probably right on all counts.
"How about we take a break. There's no rush, it's not like you're pregnant," Caroline sighed, sounding much less enthusiastic at this point. She was probably coming to terms that this would require little of her planning.
"Not without trying," Damon added, poking her in the lower abdomen.
Elena rolled her eyes and stood suddenly. She did need a break. A bath and a nap and alone time at this point. He'd understand.
He walked her to her car and slipped his hand up her inner thigh when he kissed her deeply before shutting the door wordlessly. She unrolled his window after she cranked the car and threw it into reverse.
"Hey," she called to him over the hum of engine and the crunch below her tires.
He turned around in the doorway of the looming boarding house, hands stuffed in his pockets and looking exactly the same as he did the day she met him here.
"Love you."
He grinned and shook his head like he did when she tried to be particularly cute with him. It always sent a thrill to her belly when she succeeded. There was nothing like being loved by him.
Xxxx
Damon decided a bath and nap would do him some justice as well. It was nearly evening when he woke to the sounds of Caroline's clickety heels downstairs. They were probably headed out for some social time as the girl couldn't chill longer than a day or two at a time. He was glad Elena enjoyed nesting as much as he did. Nothing better than laying around curled up in one another for days on end. Though, he did want to push Elena out of the nest now and then, she was far too young to be this antisocial.
Stefan sure was a sport, he'd give him that. He was happy though, Damon could see that plain as day.
He got a text from Elena saying she was going to spend a week trying to get to know Lucy and would touch base at some point. Now if only he could get Caroline to go do something else the house would be quiet again. Stefan was the perfect roommate. Quiet, clean, stayed off his back for drinking so much. Add Caroline to the mix and it was talky talk talk talk all the goddamn time. He could hear her from across the house. And when she wasn't talking he could still sense her and it drove him up the wall. Her little comments about his drinking or sleeping in too late. She'd even started to redecorate their home; moving a lamp here, switching out throw pillows there.
The week was coming to an end and he'd gotten a sprinkle of texts from Elena at the beginning of it, saying things were going great. He convinced her to send him a couple nudies because he missed her so much. And he had to erase the image of Caroline sunbathing in their backyard. He didn't know why she bothered, she was pale and her vampirism just healed her burn over and over. She never did tan. Maybe she just liked the feel of it. It did feel rather nice to bask in the sun all day but it wasn't something Damon wasted time on anymore.
He settled in for bed, grabbing his phone to take a look at the delicious shot of Elena's naked body posing sensually in front of her bathroom mirror.
He glanced down at his phone and saw several missed calls. He felt a jolt of panic. That was never good. They were all from Elena and one from…Katherine.
"Stefan!" Damon shouted, about tumbling out of bed to catch his brother before he left. Something wasn't right.
He was dialing Elena immediately but it went straight to voice mail. He tried Katherine, skimming the stairs and stumbling into Stefan in the hall.
"What?" Stefan asked, brows narrowed in concern.
"Need your car," Damon stated, pushing past him and Caroline, his eyes on his phone as he opened his text messages. Just one from Katherine that was just a bunch of jumbled letters like she was trying to reach him.
"Is it Elena?" Caroline asked, racing to keep up, Stefan not far behind.
Caroline fumbled in her purse and pulled out her keys, thrusting them in his shaking hand, "Here take my car. Damon, what's going on?"
"I don't know, missed calls from Elena and Katherine and neither will pick up. Fuck," he hissed, slipping into Caroline's driver seat.
Stefan and Caroline were in the car before he could argue or think much of it. He could barely put a thought together and his chest was about to explode from the beating of his heart and the burning pressure of fear.
They tore down the driveway, causing Caroline to yelp from the backseat and buckle her seat belt. Stefan just held on and said nothing though his own heart started to thud just as painfully loud. It felt familiar, their fear and desperation in tune towards this girl who always got herself into some sort of trouble. This time he feared it was his fault.
"The fucking wolf. That's what this is. I shouldn't have let her leave my sight," Damon seethed. He was an idiot. He slipped up. He let his emotions cloud his judgment and it was going to get her killed.
"Then why is Katherine involved?" Stefan asked.
They did this a lot, put the pieces of the puzzle together on the way. No time was wasted time when it came to Elena Gilbert.
"Because they're identical. The wolf in Elena's dream always asks her for her name and she never lets it in. All they had to go on was a face. Half the damn population of vampires in the world know that face," Damon spat.
"Katherine led them to her to save her own ass I'm sure," Caroline said in a clipped tone from the back.
"Of course she did…" Damon whispered, feeling despair.
The car ride was a blur but somewhere in there Stefan placed his hand on the back of his neck when Damon started gnawing at his lip so hard that blood beaded and dripped. When they pulled up to the lake house it looked normal enough. The front door was shut and when he flashed inside, ready to rip hearts straight from anybody's chest that didn't belong here without so much as a word.
There was nobody though, it was still and silent.
"Elena?" Caroline called out just as Damon flashed up the stairs.
When he entered her room life itself just stopped. It was gone just like that. The only sound was Miss Kitty licking the blood from her paws, nestled between two chestnut headed women seemingly dead on the bed.
When Caroline and Stefan entered the room he barely noticed. He hadn't even noticed he'd fallen against the wall and slid down to meet the floor. He wasn't breathing, he wasn't moving, he just stared at the two bodies on the bed.
Stefan and Caroline, thank God for them. They leapt into action around him, feeling their pulses and examining their chests. He snapped out of it briefly when Stefan tore the shirt off of one of them in one clean rip to look for any indication that they'd been staked. Damon's thought process was finally cranking up and he said hoarsely, "They aren't gone. They'd be gray."
"I wasn't looking for that. I was looking for this," Stefan admitted, lifting up the slender arm of the one on the right, a bite evident and pulsing with the sickening puss of a bite spreading. Their necks had been snapped as well, the bite must have slowed down their ability to heal.
Damon felt sick, he couldn't look at them. He didn't know what to do. He'd never been so clueless as to what to do. He'd never been this desperately stricken with fear that he couldn't spring into immediate action.
He only looked up again when Caroline exclaimed, "OH MY GOD!" and flashed right over and by him down the stairs.
In the moments that she was gone, Damon willed himself to look up at his brother. Stefan had to know what to do. Stefan was still studying the girls, tossing the cat out of the way, Miss Kitty hissing and racing off to hide in another room.
"All their jewelry is missing. Daylight ring and Katherine's daylight bracelet. Not even earrings. They wanted us to have a hard time identifying which was which," Stefan murmured.
Caroline about appeared in front of him, wild eyed and smiling. "I forgot to tell Klaus never mind about his blood. I got this like a few days ago in the mail!" She was waving a vial of blood around in the air.
He shot up and felt relief wash over him. He was so happy he grabbed Caroline's face in his hands and let out a scoff of laughter before pressing his lips hard onto hers. She squeaked in protest but he barely noticed a thing, he just let her go and snatched the vial.
He stopped short, hanging his head. Of course. It was just one vial. The story of his goddamn cursed piece of a shit life.
"Yeah, well we'll be needing two," Damon said dully, looking from girl to girl.
The despair hit him again. How often had he assured her he knew her from her doppelganger. How often had he said he would always know it was her because his body sang to hers. He felt none of that for Katherine, not even a hint of it. But how in goddamn hell was he supposed to tell them apart when they were lifeless and dying?
He shoved the vial in Stefan's hand, knowing immediately what he needed to do. He ripped into his wrist and thrust it into the one on the left first, listening to Caroline examine and comment on what they were wearing. They were both in Elena's clothes as if the wolves undressed Katherine and dressed her back so that they would be even harder to ID.
"This is so fucked," Damon said angrily, when his blood did nothing to heal a thing. He dropped her head and tried the one on the right, shoving the other wrist that he bit harder into. The blood oozed down her throat and suddenly she was coughing.
He wasted no time in closing his eyes and prying his way into her mind. She fought back and hard. He kept probing and begging and telling her it was him. Let him in. Then it was blackness. She was gone again.
"No goddammit," he hissed.
He tried the left one again, more blood this time, but not even a hint that his blood reached any part of her other than pooling in her throat.
"We're running out of time Damon, which one do you want to give it to?" Stefan asked, his voice caked in a sadness. It was like he knew this story already. They'd make the wrong damn decision because that was their luck.
Damon looked at their identical faces and the way the wolves placed their bodies side by side, mirroring each other. He looked at the bite on the left one's chest, just as ugly as the bite on the other one's arm. He stepped back and looked around the room, opening all his senses. It was hard not to gag on the smell of the poison radiating off their bodies.
"Let me do this Damon," Stefan offered softly.
"No, It has to be me," Damon refused. He flung open the closet and tried to block out everything but the miniscule scents on the coat hangers. Something lingered there, a smell that wasn't his or hers. It had to be the filthy wolf that changed Katherine.
So he removed the shirt Stefan had torn and took a breath. It smelled like Elena who of course smelled like Katherine. He searched beyond that for another's scent. It was there. He had to be sure. He gently tore the shirt off the other, ignoring the fact that neither women were in bras. That bothered him greatly, wondering if the wolves had made them both strip down. He quickly draped the torn shirts over their chests after find that the other shirt had the same undertones of the unfamiliar scent.
Damon dropped his head onto the bed, falling to his knees and covering his eyes for a moment. This was useless. He would have to pick one and live with it.
"Does their blood taste and smell the same? Is everything really the same?" Caroline asked tentatively, the sadness starting to show in her own usually optimistic voice.
"Yeah, yeah it's all the same," Damon said hoarsely. The only difference was the way they looked at him, the way they touched him, the way his body felt around them. It was something inside that went way beyond these lifeless shells.
Stefan kneeled on the other side of the bed, his laughter suddenly filling the hollow spaces in the room.
"What?" Damon asked irritated. What the fuck could possibly be this funny?
"The tattoo Damon," Stefan reminded him.
The blood coated the girls, maybe the wolves hadn't noticed that one tiny detail as the women surely fought and fought hard. He wiped at the skin below the one nearest him, finding the spot bare.
"Give it to her," Damon nodded towards the one closest to Stefan.
He unplugged the vial and fed it to her. They all stood and watched as she choked once again but Stefan held her mouth closed and pulled her into him, whispering things that calmed Damon down.
"Bitch," he muttered at the other one, immediately searching the room for something wooden. He broke Elena's desk chair with ease, flipping a sharp shard of wood in his hand and readying it over Katherine's body. That's when they all heard it. A noise from downstairs.
Damon dropped the stake thoughtlessly and flashed downstairs, catching someone by the neck. Damon thrust him up the wall and stared up into his eyes. He'd compel him and he'd kill every last one of them.
"Got one," Damon yelled up towards the stairs.
Stefan came down fast, his eyes wide with surprise at the luck.
"Think he's on vervain brother?" Damon asked lowly, watching the young man twitch and fight for breath in his grasp.
"I don't think wolves are all that smart if you ask me," Stefan replied just as coolly.
Damon released his grip and let him fall to the ground, smiling as the man coughed and wheezed, trying to kick away from him.
Damon simply punched the shit out of him, knocking him out and throwing him over his shoulder. He strolled towards the front door, pausing to turn around and say, "Can you get Elena and some of her things? We're going home."
Stefan nodded and Damon turned to kick open the door and stroll towards Caroline's car.
"You have got to be kidding me," Damon muttered when he noticed Jeremy and Lucy exiting a lime green vintage Bug.
Jeremy looked up, his jaw dropping and eyes widening, immediately trying to usher Lucy back into the car.
"Not a good goddamn time Jeremy," Damon called flatly, opening the trunk to Caroline's car and tossing the guy inside before clicking it shut.
As if on cue, Stefan walked out with Caroline trailing behind him, Elena wrapped in bloodied bed sheets and dangling in his arms.
It was dark outside, just the porch light offering any kind of lit up area for human eyes to really see. He hoped Jeremy had done a good job at shielding Lucy from anything but of course the pesky idiot of a Gilbert descendant had failed at that one task when he heard the shrill scream escape the pregnant girl's lips.
Damon swore a few times under his breath before stalking over to her and willing her to look into his eyes, "You won't remember any of this, you will wake up in dear Jeremy's arms eager to tell his sister the exciting news of your baby another night."
He turned to walk away but Jeremy barked out, "She's on vervain you idiot. What the hell did you do to my sister?"
Damon stopped and about screamed in frustration. Every second they wasted was another second a wolf wasn't dead at his hands.
He spun around and animatedly gestured towards the trunk, "That guy is a werewolf and last night he bit her. She'll be fine. And don't go upstairs, Katherine wasn't so lucky."
With that he got into the car and sped away.
Xxxxx
Elena was confused as she blinked into chocolate eyes. She smelled Damon all around her and immediately recognized the room as his.
"What are you doing here?" she asked hoarsely.
"Watching over you for now," Elijah replied evenly from the chair he had next to the bed.
Elena closed her eyes, knowing something wasn't right but too tired to figure it out just yet. Damon should be next to her now, not Elijah. Even Stefan was the next likely candidate before him. Then like a movie, the events right before the crack of her neck played on the back of her eyelids.
It took her a moment to realize Elijah's hand was at her cheek and he was watching the memories too. She hadn't even felt him enter her mind. He was well practiced and she trusted him.
Elena walked inside, calling for Miss Kitty. The cat stayed hidden which struck Elena strange considering she hadn't been fed an entire day. She stalked up the stairs toeing her door open and tossing her purse to the floor with a clank. It all happened so fast, several hands grabbing her and pinning her to the wall, the sharp pinch as someone injected the fire of vervain into her veins. It weakened her immediately, causing her to go limp as a face loomed over hers. He was maybe in his mid forties and plain looking, dark stubble along a rounded jaw.
"You killed my little girl," he seethed, a little bit of spittle escaping his clenched teeth and spattering across her face.
She fought against the vervain, willing her mind to stay calm even through the pain and the slow moving paralysis that ran her down. She was about to open her mouth and apologize and explain when she caught sight of Katherine in the corner of her room. She suspected her ancestor was pretending to be affected by the vervain. Elena knew otherwise, she was barely affected by this amount with her years of dosing it in increase. She felt a moment of hope that it would save her but then she felt that wash away when she realized it had to have been Katherine that led them here in the first place. Kill or be killed.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Elena managed to say, coughing at the searing pain with each movement her body tried to make forming the words.
Katherine's eye's narrowed for a second, her weakened façade slipping.
"Well one of you did it and if I have to kill you both it won't be of any consequence to me," he replied, pushing off of her and taking Katherine by the hair. Elena tried to count the people in the room. How many men did it take to capture two female vampires? One, two, three….Katherine blocked her view momentarily when she was forced to stand at the foot of the bed.
No, Katherine would not be saving her. She'd be saving herself, unless the only choice was to save them both. Elena mustered everything she had, stating against the searing pain, "She's immune to vervain. She's the killer."
Katherine whipped around to give her the most daunting glare before the men leapt into action and at least four needles were struck anywhere they could land one, bringing the ancient vampire to her knees. It was a large dose, there's no way it didn't have an effect. But for how long?
Elena was really feeling it now, and tears leaked out of her eyes as they started stripping Katherine of every piece of jewelry and clothing before tossing her nude and limp next to Elena's rigid body.
"Didn't know they could cry real tears," one of them muttered, roughly snatching the engagement ring and whistling appreciatively at it.
"They ain't real. She's throwing a pity party. These soulless monsters have slaughtered more wolves in the centuries since they were created than we can keep count; strip her down and dress them with her clothes. Burn everything," the man said, stepping out of sight.
Elena forced herself to keep her eyes open, trying to remember any faces that passed in her line of vision as her clothes were tugged off. She ignored their laughs and comments, none of that helped her nor should she let it harm her. If they laid a hand on her she'd remember and they would die.
They dressed her with little care, forgetting underwear entirely. If she could sigh in relief the moment her jeans were snapped safely at her pelvis, she would have. Then the man's voice came again, even though she couldn't see him.
"Now bloody them up, let them bleed and heal. We want them to look unrecognizable. Snap their necks and leave a bite. I want whoever she belongs to suffering for the rest of his miserable life."
Elena realized she was dead. There was no way out of this now. A bite and she'd be dead and left here to fry in the morning sun. The tears didn't stop, it was her only outlet. They burned of vervain but she wouldn't let them stop.
Then she heard Katherine whisper by her, "Where's your phone?"
Elena couldn't say anything but her eyes drifted towards her purse that was next to the doorway.
The first blow hit Elena by surprise, her nose breaking and pouring blood. Another second and a blade sliced down her chest, opening her up for moment enough that blood coated her breasts and dribbled down her sides.
"Goddamn, look how fast they heal," a boy no older than maybe sixteen with a spray of freckles across his face said in wonder.
Suddenly Katherine sprang up and Elena saw then heard a sickening suctioning sound and the splat of a heart. There was a lot of scuffling and Katherine killed two of them before grabbing the phone and scrambling next to Elena, trying to pull her off the bed and into her arms.
"Dammit Damon, answer," she hissed. She dialed and dialed and each time she grew more frantic. Katherine's eyes met hers and she saw defeat in them. Katherine was defeated. The man burst in along with a few others and he angrily grabbed Katherine by the hair and took his knee, snapping her back.
Elena wanted to throw up at the sound. When Katherine was tossed next to Elena, the man bared his blunt teeth transformed into a wolf just like that. Elena found that the vervain was pumping fast with the adrenaline and she was regaining some movement. Not enough to run but enough to start screaming in hoarse pleas.
He bit Katherine first, deep it sounded. Elena let her head fall to the side so she could lock eyes with her mirror image. Katherine's eyes watered but she couldn't move, the break to her back had paralyzed her and the vervain had slowed down her healing. Now the bite would end her if the sun didn't first.
The wolf then turned to Elena, stepping with little grace onto her chest and hair, snarling against her cheek. She only had Katherine in this moment and it was almost poetic. She wondered if she looked as scared and bloodied as Katherine did. She probably looked worse. She never expected to die so soon. Katherine had been running from death forever.
"He'll come for you Elena," Katherine croaked out before the bite sank into her arm. Elena screamed in pain, crying like she never had before.
Then the other men in the room stalked forward, each taking the girl's heads in their hands. With a snap it all disappeared.
Elena gasped and jerked up, flailing a little in the soaked sheets. Elijah's hand was already removed from her cheek and he was plucking his phone out of the inside of his blazer.
"Elijah," she whimpered.
He sat next to her wordlessly, pulling her into his chest with his free arm. She shook like a leaf, never feeling so weak before. She was actually glad Damon wasn't here to see her like this. It would crush him. She had to suck it in.
"She's awake," Elijah stated into the phone.
Elena tried to listen in but she was so tired and so weak. It sounded like Damon, it had to be.
"Yes. Yes, of course. That's good to hear," he replied, letting go of her to shrug off his jacket and neatly place it on the other side of him. He started to unbutton his sleeve and fold it upwards, revealing his wrist.
"I'll tell her. Okay. Yes," he continued, glancing at her briefly.
There was a long pause and a string of words that she just couldn't make out. It was definitely Damon's voice though, she could tell by the way it paused and formed words. She'd know it anywhere.
"I will, I assure you. And Damon…what of Katherine?"
There was another long pause and she heard silence before a few words on the other end. She watched Elijah's face but it stayed completely neutral before he said goodbye and clicked off the phone.
"Where is he?" Elena asked, the raspy question sounding desperate.
He ignored her and brought his wrist to his mouth. He gracefully punctured his skin and placed it with one fluid motion against her parted lips. She wanted to jerk away, but the taste and her sudden gnawing hunger took over. She was able to keep it tame at least. She only had to reopen his wound once and she did it with as much precision as she could muster, trying to mimic what Damon had taught her so many times before. He never flinched or wavered for a moment.
He started talking though, as her gulps turned to sips. "Men do awful things for the ones they love," he began in that eloquent voice she always loved to listen to in the past. He'd always made her feel safe and respected. This was the closest they'd ever been physically but it felt like just what she needed. Had Damon been here they'd both be breaking down, flurries of emotion and anger. Elijah was the calm nurturer.
She agreed with him without saying so because her mouth was full of his thick blood. He tasted so…pure. Not a hint of alcohol or food. Nothing. Just pure blood. She wondered how picky he was about who he fed from. That man…the wolf…he'd done terrible things to her for the daughter he lost.
"It would do you best to think about that when Damon returns," Elijah continued. That's when she paused and broke away slowly from his wrist. He let it hover there for a moment, making sure she'd had her fill before moving swiftly to wipe with a handkerchief and roll back down his sleeve.
"You weren't talking about the wolf…"Elena said slowly. She felt a thumping creep of dread climb up her spine.
He looked at her and she watched his eyes trail over her face. He looked sad but only for a second. It was there and then it was gone.
"No, not the wolf. Though I suppose you are right. It can be applied to both situations," he replied with care. He seemed to be treading lightly, as if what he was talking about would upset her too much.
She asked him again and again where Damon was until he finally took her hand and stated, "When he found you there, there was one man still in the house."
She felt her gut turn. She wondered who it was. She wondered if it was the one that cut her deep or broke her nose. The one who commented on her body or the one who laughed at what he said. She wondered even more if it was the man who turned into a wolf when the moon wasn't even full. Then she shuddered at the sight Damon must have walked in on. It hit her then what Elijah was saying.
Damon must have done some terrible things out of love.
"Is Stefan with him?" she asked softly.
"Yes," Elijah replied shortly. He sure wasn't giving her much to go on.
She swallowed hard and asked with a stronger voice, Elijah's Original blood working its magic on her slowly healing body, "Did they get him? Did they kill the wolf that bit us?"
"Yes, he's gone," Elijah replied, bowing his head a little.
"Well that's good then. Right?" Elena asked tentatively.
Elijah just offered a half hearted grin and tucked her hair behind her ear in a way that felt like he had done it a thousand times. Maybe he had between Tatia and Katherine. But never to her.
"It is good," he agreed, "you are safe now."
She visibly relaxed, slumping back against his side, dropping her head to his shoulder. He kindly wrapped an arm around her and ran small circles with his thumb on the warming skin of her arm. She felt the tingling heat of his blood caressing each damaged part of her insides.
"Did Katherine make it?" she finally asked.
Elijah paused his movements then and took a shallow breath. He sounded less composed when he replied, "No. Jeremy pulled her downstairs and into the windowless bathroom. I came as quick as I could with another vial of my brother's blood but I was too late. She's gone now."
"Jeremy?" Elena squeaked.
Elijah squeezed her shoulder then before dropping his hand and standing slowly and turning to retrieve his jacket. He pulled it on without looking at her and she felt a moment of panic that he was leaving her alone. His eyebrows raised and he glanced up into her eyes.
"Your friend Caroline is downstairs. I'll go get her now. I may stay in town for a little while to properly bury and say goodbye to Katarina. You have my number still I presume?"
Elena nodded, only then remembering to lick at the blood left from his wrist at her lips.
"Take care Elena," Elijah said earnestly. He stopped in the doorway to turn briefly towards her, "I'm glad you are okay."
"Thank you…for…" she was sad to see him go and wasn't sure what it was she was more thankful for. His nourishing blood or his comforting presence.
Not much longer after he disappeared, Caroline rushed into the room. She practically tackled Elena on the bed, holding her crushingly close. Elena just patted her halfheartedly on the back, her mind still not fully comprehending or accepting what had happened and the events that followed while she was blacked out.
"How long have I been here?" Elena asked into the thick curls of blonde hair.
"Just a day and a night. You look so much better but I really think we need to get you cleaned up before Damon returns," Caroline admitted, standing and swiping at her eyes as if she'd been crying.
Elena didn't like that and didn't want to think about how bad this had all really been. What a close call it had been. She could have just as easily died like Katherine. It was hard to imagine her gone from this world.
"Come on, I'll help you if that's okay," Caroline said softly, holding out her hand and nodding towards the bathroom.
When Elena caught glimpse of herself in the mirror after peeling off the clothes she'd ruined of Damon's, she about stumbled back. She was covered in blood between her breasts and she remembered the blade cutting her almost down to her navel. The blood that must have poured from her nose had been swiped away but there were still hints of it there next to her ears and caked into her hair. The sheer terror came back to her full force and she choked back a sob, hissing, "Oh…Oh God."
Caroline was at her side in an instant pulling her away from the mirror and stating, "No, you don't. You don't let this own you for a second longer. Let's wash it away okay?"
Elena was glad they opted for the shower, Caroline twisting the knobs and ushering Elena under the spray of water. She stood there motionless as the water pelted against her skin and the blood swirled around her toes before slithering down the drain. When she could see her bare skin again she shakily reached for the soap and washed it all away. She had to wash it all away. She had to be brave for him. He had probably done some terrible things to protect her and whether he let people in or not, she knew it hurt him deep down to do so…even if for love.
"You about ready?" Caroline asked softly as Elena washed the lather from her hair and body.
"Yeah," she replied. She really did feel better already. She felt stronger physically and the emotional part would take a little longer but even that felt like it had washed down the drain just a bit.
Caroline was waiting with a towel and fuzzy bathrobe. She even sat her down and brushed her hair out in front of the mirror. Elena appreciated it all, more than she'd like to admit.
"When will they be back?" Elena asked, more because she wanted to know how long she had to get better at hiding the pain than for the sheer need to be with Damon again. Her heart did ache for him though.
"A few hours tops. Want anything? Want me to make you a strong drink to help you sleep?"
Elena shook her head, causing the comb to tangle a little into her hair. Caroline expertly brushed it out and set down the comb with a clank against the marble counter top.
"I couldn't possibly sleep another second. I feel much better after feeding," Elena replied.
"Want to watch some TV or read or play a game?" Caroline asked hopefully. Elena knew she just wanted to occupy her mind, keep it away from the darkness.
"I don't know. I guess I'll just lay down. Will you lay with me?"
"Of course," her friend replied.
So they crawled under Damon's sheets that smelled of her sweat and blood so they crawled back out and laid on top of it all, pulling the cashmere blanket he kept at the foot of the bed over their legs.
"Want me to check the Salvatore pharmacy for something to knock you out or make it more bearable?" Caroline asked after a long silence.
Maybe she was right, Elena should just take or do something to give her a break from it all. She'd be calm and relaxed by the time Damon showed up and for some reason she felt she needed that. So Caroline disappeared for a while, rummaging noisily around the large upstairs bathroom that was home to all sorts of remedies.
"Jesus Caroline, I'm not looking to overdose," Elena joked, smiling at how she sounded more and more like Damon these days.
"I'm just giving you options silly. I'm not handing over more than you need," Caroline laid it all out on the bed, "we've got opiates in every flavor and a lovely stash of excellently rolled joints."
Elena's eyes widened, "Why do they have all this. Why didn't I know they had all this? How did you know?"
"What, you never dug through their drawers before?" Caroline asked innocently.
"I guess I missed this particular drawer," Elena admitted, reaching for a pill bottle.
She took a Percocet with the untouched glass of water next to the bed that may have been sitting there since she was first laid down. Then she plucked a joint from the little cigar box and placed it between her lips, leaning over to open Damon's side table drawer with a noisy scrape of wood on wood. She found the old lighter and flicked it open, lighting and inhaling deeply.
She'd never been a huge fan but this would help her zone out for a little. Maybe a little television was just what she needed to help the minutes tick by. Caroline only took a hit and half a Percocet before sweeping it all up and whisking it back away.
Elena coughed viciously against the deep intake of smoke. Caroline crept up the bed and took it out of her fingers, taking another tiny hit before putting it out in the little ashtray that sat on the bookshelf.
"Okay, I think that's good enough girl. Here, let's pick up where we left off," Caroline stated, opening her tablet and scrolling around to find more episodes of Friends.
The rolls of euphoria from the pill hit her first, taking precedence over all the worry and anger and fear. Then the extreme relaxation took over from there, sliding her into something she could live with for now. Caroline giggled appreciatively at most scenes while Elena laid there stoic and…numb.
It only seemed like a few minutes but when Damon walked to the foot of the bed she realized they were a good six episodes in. Stefan trudged in behind him looking…terrible. He looked upset.
Caroline said something to her but Elena didn't comprehend it. Maybe goodbye because she was ushering Stefan out the door, worry written all over her face. But Damon just kept standing there, staring at her with his hands in his pockets and his mouth set in a grim line.
She decided to go to him, even though she was dizzy and disoriented as hell. When she was so close she could feel the heat off his body, he reached up and grasped her face in his hands, breathing loudly through his nose.
Even through the thick high and low of the drugs she lost it. Of course she did. She crumpled and cried and let him hold her too tight. It took her a moment to realize it but he was crying too and she couldn't stand it.
"I'm okay," she whispered into his quaking chest. She hadn't realized it until he grabbed her wrists, but she was digging her fingernails painfully into his chest.
"It's okay that you're not," he replied, stepping back and dropping her wrists so that he could wipe his eyes on the back of his arm and turn briefly away from her.
Before he turned again he asked, "What are you on baby?"
"Just a Percocet and a little weed," she admitted.
He nodded and turned back around, looking more collected. His hands were at his hips as he surveyed her once again, his lips twisting this way and that as he fought against whatever emotions were taking toll.
"It helped," she added.
He took a breath and found the half smoked joint on his bookshelf, quickly lighting it and taking a long drag. He held the smoke in his lungs and beckoned her over. She obeyed and he tilted his mouth close to hers and exhaled into her lungs. She breathed in his breath-laced smoke and about sighed it out.
She sat back on the bed, feeling heavy but good. She watched him smoke it down like he did it all the time and hey, what did she know, maybe he did. He paced around the room, putting things in their place as he smoked.
She noticed when he sat beside her that he smelled freshly showered. She grabbed his hand and looked at his fingernails, wondering how many hearts he ripped from chests and necks he tore into before snapping them in half. She shuddered at the thought but at the same time she had an anger inside that said nothing more than good job.
"And how do you feel now?" he asked when they laid side by side in the bed warmed buy Elena's and Caroline's television binge.
She could tell even through the haze of drugs, that he was just not okay. He was putting on a strong act that made him seem more aloof than content.
"I feel out of it but in a good way. I did it so I would seem better when you arrived. Did it work?" She tried to sound light but it came out flat.
Damon rolled over to face her from his side. She did the same and tucked her toes between his calves. His skin was burning up, she hadn't noticed before when he held her. That meant one of two things or maybe a combination of the two. He had either fed deeply and long, or he'd killed many, ingesting blood as he went along. He felt like fire.
"I'm not going to ask for details unless you want to give them," Damon whispered.
"Same here," she replied.
"We have a lot to talk about outside of the details that we may or may not want to talk about. I think I need a few days," Damon admitted.
Elena was sure it was the weed but she felt so nonchalant and at ease. It was so hard to read his eyes and his scent like this.
"Okay, I could use some time too," she agreed.
That's when Damon's eyes broke free momentarily from the glassy eyed haze he bore into her. She decided she needed to make sure he knew something.
"They didn't…rape me," Elena whispered.
She could just feel the mattress sink as he seemed to let out a huge mound of tension. His eyes closed and his lips quivered in a way she'd never seen them before. She placed her palm on his cheek, kind of like Elijah had done when he entered her mind.
She didn't mean to, maybe it was the drugs, but she slipped straight into his mind because for a split second she wanted to; and like that there she was. He was wide awake and she was in his head just like Elijah had done with her.
The images that swam around his mind in the few moments she was able to connect and see, were horrific. Women and children held by Damon and Stefan, demanding they release the pack alpha. When it took too long and no one answered, Damon killed the child with a simple crack of his neck.
It was too much. It was too heavy. She immediately exited his mind, dropping her hand to the space where his neck sloped towards his shoulder.
"The crow saved you," Damon admitted, seeming to take a lot from the simple gesture of her palm to his skin. He nuzzled her hand a little and she made a strange sound when another tear leaked out of his closed lids.
She didn't know what he meant until her brain started piecing together that the one vial had to go to one of the women. They were identical except Elena had gotten a tattoo and thank the powers to be that she had.
The realization hit her painfully. She wondered how long he panicked before remembering their one physical difference. How he must have felt not knowing which to save.
"I just want to move forward. I don't want to talk about this ever again," Elena admitted.
Damon wiped his damp eyes on his pillowcase before responding dully, " I didn't have to kill the kids."
Elena's heart constricted in time with the painful images of Damon's long fangs and blood soaked chin as he tore into neck after neck. She couldn't imagine how he could have done it either, not with his past story of the little girl he accidentally drained in the woods after he first turned.
She wanted to get mad at him, she wanted to be disgusted. But she just wasn't. He was protecting her for the rest of their lives. She knew now that forever was a very long time. Those children would grow into adults and that pack line would hunt her and Damon forever. She didn't want to run her whole life like Katherine.
She cupped his ear and rubbed her toes a little between his calves. The coarse dark hair that grew there scratched her skin but she wanted him to look at her. He was ashamed in a way. More than that she knew he feared she was angry or disgusted or disappointed.
"You did what you had to do to protect me. It's the same thing you've always done for me. "
He stared at her long and hard after that. She let him. She let him probe her eyes and then scan over her hair line and dip down to her lips. He did it was such precision and care that she felt like one of those old paintings people stopped at and examined, trying to make sense of what it truly meant.
"Tell me about the one who broke your nose," Damon said lowly.
Elena closed her eyes tightly, replaying that moment that the dusty blonde haired boy looked so calmly into her eyes before striking her face full force. It was hard to remember exactly what he looked like but she'd never forget the way it felt. Having her eyes closed made her feel so sleepy all of a sudden. Damon was here and she feared nothing.
She told him what she could remember about the one who struck her face. He was the same one that yanked her engagement ring from her finger. Then without stopping she told him about the redhead who took a blade and sliced her from between her bare chest all the way down to her navel. She described the look in his eyes of sheer joy when her blood soaked her sheets and her skin magically fused back together. It had taken longer though, because of the vervain. She felt for far too long what it would feel like to practically have her insides splayed out of her body.
Then one by one Damon listed what he did to each of these men while Stefan held them still. She let his words and the gruesome images he conjured wash over her like a bath. She understood it all now, she understood him better. He and Stefan had done terrible things but when you live forever, you weigh your options against forever. They did this for her and for each other.
"I can't go into the sun anymore," Elena realized sadly, noting how sealed tight Damon's room was. Not a sliver of light would be able to peek it's way in through the thick drawn drapes and the closed off doors. She didn't even know what time it was; if it was day or night.
Damon slipped out of bed then and opened his door with a long creak. The hall was dark so it must be night. She listened for his footsteps, trying to figure out where he was in the old boarding house. She strained but couldn't catch where it was he ran off to. It seemed time passed a little too long so she dropped her bare feet to the floor and tossed the bath robe on a growing pile of her things in the middle of Damon's otherwise neat room. She found one pair of her pajama shorts left in her 'Elena' pile in his closet and grabbed one of his neatly folded black short sleeve shirts.
She walked soundlessly through the hall, feeling like she was the only one in the dark and drafty old home. She found that every room was dark and sealed up tight. It felt so...dead to her all the sudden. Usually the boarding house brought on such a homey and familiar feeling but in a way, it was like it was feeling what they were all feeling right now.
Elena knew what had happened had been scary and close. She knew that Katherine had died and she had lived. She understood that Damon and Stefan killed a lot of innocent people tonight. It all ticked off like facts in her mind. She just didn't understand why it felt quite this bad. It felt like there was still more she wasn't understanding or grasping. Damon should be in her arms kissing her all over and telling her how lucky they were this time. Even after telling her what he'd done to the entire pack, she felt as if he were waiting for her to tell him he messed up or that she couldn't be with someone like him. But she didn't feel that way, he had to know that.
All her thoughts ran hazily through her drug clouded mind, she barely noticed when she ran square into Stefan's chest somewhere in the west wing. She gasped and stumbled back before he steadied her with his hands to her forearms.
"Come on, let's get you back to bed," Stefan said softly, taking her hand in his.
She let him guide her down the creaky and seemingly never ending hallway before she finally shook her head a little and said, ".Where is Damon?"
Stefan opened her hand up and placed her daylight and engagement ring in her hand. She breathed a sigh of relief, slipping them both on before sagging against the door frame to Damon's room. Stefan walked past her and sat on the edge of Damon's bed as if urging her to get back to bed without actually asking.
"Damon just needs a moment, just get some rest okay?" Stefan stated.
Elena knew something was off. She twisted the engagement ring nervously around her finger as she sat on the bed next to Stefan. It was strange being with him in here; the place she and Damon made love more times than she could count.
She felt like she was being treated like a child and she knew sometimes in their eyes she was one. The age gap was tremendous and when things like this happened, maybe they just couldn't help but go into protection mode. They were like worried parents shielding her from as many monstrous things as they could.
"Where is he?" she asked again.
Stefan stood up and turned slowly to face her, his eyes looking heavy. She noticed that his skin was brighter and full of color. Despite his demeanor he looked really…good. Elena hadn't thought about what Stefan must have had to do to make it safe for her either. She hoped he hadn't fed and killed and triggered the curse of an addiction he possessed as a vampire. They all called it his Ripper side but it was a cruel name when she thought about it. It was a nasty addiction that he both loved and hated. How strong he must be to fight to be the better part of himself.
"He came to get the rings from me but then he realized he needed a moment. I know it's hard and the only thing you want to do is console and be by his side, but I know my brother. He needs to feel this for a minute," Stefan explained gently.
She knew his brother too and it stung a little that Stefan spoke as if she didn't understand something.
"I'm sorry Katherine didn't make it," Elena said softly, knowing that between the two brothers, Stefan was the least tortured by her deceased ancestor.
"I'm just grateful you did," Stefan said seriously. With that he dropped the boundaries that just didn't need to be there anymore and in one swift motion, pulled her body up and into his warm embrace.
She wrapped her arms tightly around him and felt her body tingle lightly at the familiar way their bodies touched. It struck her then how since turning she could feel a certain way her body responded to other's. It was just as personalized as the scents people gave off for particular emotions or moods. She'd have to remember this feeling. This was what it felt like to be close to Stefan. It was just a warm buzzing that felt very good and very safe.
"Thank you for what you had to do," Elena murmured against the curve of his chest muscle.
He didn't answer her but she could feel and smell that he felt just as much warmth and safety with her as she did with him. He was relieved and happy to have her in his arms. It was what was under that that bothered her. She needed to know.
Before Stefan could do anything about it she pinned him to the wall and placed both her hands on the sides of his head. She pried and fought to see his thoughts but he took her by surprise. He was older and she forgot that he'd fed on human blood, and probably a lot of it. She barely caught a glimpse of Damon fighting with someone. It wasn't physical, but he was hurt and angry. He was throwing his hands in the air and speaking with such pain in his eyes that she could feel it too.
Suddenly Elena's head knocked painfully against the wall and Stefan's hands were pinning her arms securely to the cool wood.
He was breathing heavily and let his forehead fall to the wall next to her cheek.
"Elena please don't do that ever again," he said in between heaves of breath. It seemed like he had used a lot of strength to block her from more.
She swallowed thickly, wriggling her wrists that were starting to numb under his grasp, "Why's he hurting? What is he not telling me?"
Stefan loosened his grasp momentarily before completely releasing her and taking several steps back. He tilted his head for a moment, staring at her curiously. He opened his mouth and let it pause there, like he had a thought he wanted to voice but he never did.
She rubbed at her wrists and stalked back up to him, placing her hands back at his cheeks, prying again. He was weaker this time, she got past the image to see who it was Damon was screaming at. She dropped her hands and stared at Stefan for a moment.
"I won't do it again," Elena murmured. She took a few steps back before turning and flashing towards the garden.
Xxxxx
Damon walked slowly down the broken up stone path of the boarding house gardens. There was a beautiful scent to the air this night. The summer heat had drawn out the odors of the grass and flowers and now they cooled pleasantly with the night air. His boots scraped noisily as he drug his feet along the path, tapping his near-empty flask against the fountain that hadn't run in years.
He heard her coming and knew he had maybe twenty four-ish seconds before she'd make a turn past the large row of crepe myrtles and find him standing in the center of the garden that had been cared for for decades. Damon tipped his flask and emptied it down his throat. He wiped his damp eyes quickly with the back of his arm, took a deep breath, and turned slowly to face her the approximate moment she turned the corner.
She looked beautiful, his girl. Last time he saw her, her neck was twisted oddly and she was caked almost unrecognizable in blood. The sad thing was, he remembered more about what Katherine had looked like. At the time he wasn't sure which girl was his and he focused more on Katherine. Maybe it was because she looked worse off and it killed him to think Elena had endured that kind of pain.
The wind whipped her freshly washed hair, all waves and unruly wisps. His shirt was a size too big for her narrow shoulders, but her breasts were outlined neatly by the smooth fabric of his favorite black v-neck. Her long legs and bare feet moved slowly towards him, making him wonder why he never did things like that anymore; walk barefoot outside.
"Stefan cave and tell you where I was?" Damon asked softly, once she stopped lightly in front of him, crossing her ankles and wringing her wrists.
He noticed the red marks when she finally dropped her arms to the side. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a really deep breath. When she exhaled her eyes fluttered open and he could tell she was nervous.
"No, he didn't tell me. He wouldn't say much so I took it from him," she replied in a voice that was much stronger than she appeared.
Damon's eyebrows shot up at that. Dangerous move little girl. Not only had Stefan had his share of human blood, he was Stefan and to peer into his mind uninvited was something that even Damon stayed away from.
"I'd suggest you not do that again. You'd have better luck with me," he told her, reaching for his flask out of habit, only to drop his hand when he remembered there was nothing left to dull this creeping dread.
"He fought hard, I didn't see much. You're hurting and you're shutting me out," Elena stated. Her eyes still looked glassy and red from the weed and pills. If she'd been sober she probably would have been able to get past Stefan's mind blocks. Then this would all go a little differently.
He shook his head and said softly," No, I'm not shutting you out. I'm just trying to figure out how to fix everything. I'm trying to do it right."
Elena adjusted her stance, uncrossing her ankles and placing her hands lightly on her hips. She was waiting, that's what it was. She wanted him to tell her what was beyond and behind the obvious pain and sadness of almost losing her and having to take so many lives. Because of course she knew there was more underneath it all. Nothing about him went unnoticed to her. She'd been good at that as a human too, always knowing when there was something more to his anger or his anguish.
"What's left to be fixed?" she asked. God she looked so sweet standing there with the most earnest look in her eyes.
He reached out for a moment to roll a strand of her long hair between his finger and thumb, taking in that feeling of adoration she blasted him with that he never felt he quite deserved.
"When we were taking your body and the body of the guy hiding out in your pantry, Jeremy and Lucy popped in for a visit," he began, his throat already tightening with each word.
He saw the color change in her face and Damon wanted to stop but what else was there to do at this point.
"I tried to compel her to forget but good ol' Jer had her vervained up. Jeremy helped us with the house and with Katherine's body. He helped us question the guy and find the pack of wolves responsible for all of this," Damon continued, watching her eyes probing his. They moved so fast between his, growing glassier the closer he got to the point.
The point was Lucy was a sane human being and Jeremy was an idiotically moral man and would not let Damon snatch the vervain jewelry from Lucy's neck. He wouldn't let Damon take it all away because he never wanted to be dishonest.
"Just say it Damon," Elena said, voice a little louder than before.
He didn't want to say it and he even felt himself flinch when she exclaimed, "Say it."
Damon looked down and focused on the cute way her toes lined up in perfect tiny steps. She was standing on bare grass and several green blades stuck straight up through that little space between her big toe and the next toe. He put his mind on the memory of her face the first time she came beneath him. It was a safe memory. One he would choose to keep forever had he another chance to answer Caroline's silly probing questions.
He opened his mouth and just let it come out like a dog dropping a ball, "They decided they don't want you in their child's life as long as you're with me. He said it's me, it's always me. I've ruined you, I've changed you forever. Things of that nature…"
When he looked up he thought he'd die. Never had he seen her more devastated. Her chin crumpled as she fought a hard fight to keep the tears from falling. But they fell and he reached for her because she shouldn't look like that ever. It was a punch in the gut when she moved away from his gesture, putting space between them.
He looked up at the sky then, leaning back against the ledge of the fountain. He crossed he ankles and folded his arms, telling himself to cry would be insulting to his manhood. To cry would mean he accepted that everything was fucked to shit. He would fix it somehow. He wouldn't allow this.
Elena asked very slowly between the tears, "So he doesn't want me to see the baby if I stay with you?"
Damon blew out some air from his mouth and glared at the moon, "That's about the gist of it. Yep."
"Is that it?" Elena finally asked, not bothering to wipe at her wet face as Damon tore his eyes from the moon to settle on her little heart shaped face.
"I made sure it would be safe for you and for your family. Stefan and I wiped out…a lot of people. I did it knowing it would cost me something but it would give you what you deserve. Nobody will be after you or anybody you care about ," Damon said softly.
"Thank you," she whispered, stepping forward but it was he who moved away from contact this time.
"I want you to be an aunt," Damon said. His heart broke. It literally felt like a hand reached in and tore it out.
He watched her body slump and her eyes well with another trickle of tears.
"Your house is clean. It looks like it did before. The smells are gone. I did it myself," Damon continued, trying his damnedest not to let the tears show in his eyes or in his voice.
He tried putting up his arms when she shook her head and rushed into him. He tried to push her away but she found her way in.
"Stupid, stupid boy," Elena said, pressing kisses all over his damp face, licking the salt of his tears from his lips.
He couldn't let her choose him. He was stealing everything she once lived for with this love they'd grown with their own dirty hands. Elena felt it, felt that he was letting go and pushing away. She broke away and shouted all sorts of things at him. Calling him a coward for giving up so easily. Slapping him across the face when he said nothing in response.
She stepped backwards and lifted the side of his shirt she wore with a grip he could see in her knuckles. The crow was as raven black as the day she got it.
"Does this mean nothing to you?" and she tore the diamond from her finger, "Or this?"
"Live your life with your family and when they are gone come home to me," he said. He was shaking.
She was radiating something he'd never felt or smelled coming off of her before. Not towards him. It was betrayal, she reeked of the scorned and it was he who made her feel that way.
"I would never do this to you," she accused, her fingers trembling as she yanked the engagement ring from her finger.
"Yes you would," he replied gently.
She let out a scoff of laughter that almost masked the sound of her ring bouncing off his chest.
"I wouldn't," she said dully. Then she turned and walked away.
Xxxxx
Elena couldn't go inside her lake house home, not with all the horrific memories attached to it. But especially not with the amazing memories she and Damon had made at the beginning of their journey. She'd never step foot inside of there again.
She got a room in the hotel just outside of Mystic Falls. She compelled herself a months worth because she refused to use the account Damon gave her full access to her when she was in college. She didn't want him to know where she was for now anyway.
After a drink in the hotel bar she compelled a few burly looking men to retrieve Miss Kitty and a list of things Elena wanted to keep from the lake house. She drunkenly texted Jeremy that she wanted him and Lucy to have it, she would no longer be living in it. She added that he could sell it if he wanted.
When her clothes and boxes of family things were in her large hotel room, she cuddled with Miss Kitty while watching mindless television. The sense of loneliness was overwhelming. She felt abandoned at all ends. Her brother asking something of her he knew she couldn't do while holding something that meant the world to her over her head. Then her fiancé asking her to turn her back on what they had so she could live a life that he wasn't allowed to exist in?
She was going to have to get her head straight. It was the same damn thing, of course it was. That choice. Her human side or her vampire side. Two lives that never could and never would coincide. Something Stefan warned her about; something Damon taught her to embrace.
She knew what had to be done.
Xxxxx
Jeremy and Lucy accepted Elena's offer to give them the lake house. Damon only heard about it through Caroline who was keeping close tabs on what was unfolding. Elena had effectively gone into hiding and he had effectively become an alcoholic. He also heard that Lucy gave birth recently. She'd had complications and gave birth to a little preemie boy.
It was Christmas before he saw Elena again. Caroline threw a dinner party that Damon plopped down at three sheets to the wind. He eyed the empty seats warily, wondering who she possibly invited other than her mom. He was eager to see Sheriff Forbes. She always brought a smile to his face, that woman.
The doorbell rang just as the turkey was ready to come out of the oven so Caroline commanded Damon get up and let the guests in. He saluted her sloppily before shuffling towards the front of the house. The doorbell rang again and he muttered, "Relax, goddamn."
He swung the door open and there stood Jeremy and Lucy, behind them was Elena, cradling a bundle in her arms. His mouth dropped open a little and he blinked several times to clear the drunken haze that blurred his vision.
"Hey," Jeremy said calmly.
"Hey…" Damon muttered slowly, staring at Elena who stared back unblinkingly.
"It's too cold for him, can we come in?" Elena asked, raising an eyebrow.
He moved to the side and they breezed in, Elena not even pausing to say a word to him. He followed the group slowly to the kitchen where Caroline squealed and the girls cooed over the baby in Elena's arms. He didn't look at that though, he was taking in his girl. His beautifully perfect girl that he once again forced out of his life for what he thought was right but felt terribly wrong. Months and months of terribly wrong.
She was wearing an emerald green sweater dress that clung to her in all the right ways. Her knee high boots lifted her up a few inches and her hair hung sheet straight down her back. A small silver clip was fastened in the back, pulling strands from her face that appeared cool as a cucumber. When he watched her pass the bundle to Caroline, he caught glimpse of the engagement ring on her hand. He stopped breathing. He'd kept it in a drawer in his home after she'd chunked it at his heart, so at some point she'd come and retrieved it.
He went through the motions of Christmas dinner, listening to everyone talk and laugh around him, his eyes on Elena the entire time. She rarely looked at him but when she did he sensed that it did something to her too. It wasn't until they moved into the living room to sit by the fire and sip at some warm drink Caroline had made, that Elena finally spoke to him.
"Come here," she whispered. She had the baby in her arms and she radiated something so beautiful that it must be the love she had for her nephew.
He followed her into the hall and she stood close to him, smelling of lavender and maybe a little spit up.
"They named him Ezra Grayson. Looks like Jer doesn't he?" she said softly, running a finger delicately along the sleeping baby's cheek.
Damon thought he looked like all babies looked but he hummed in agreement. Right now all he wanted was to hold her and kiss her and beg her to come home.
"I had a choice to make and you made it for me. But you taught me well Damon. I've compelled them both after spending months taking away and replacing their vervain. So if you don't mind, I'd really like to come home," she said simply, blinking up at him.
His mind raced for a moment. Jeremy would be livid if he knew what she'd done. It was wrong and it was selfish. It was two things Elena wasn't willing to be.
"That's…" he didn't know the words to say. He wanted her home more than anything. He wanted to marry her and give her anything she wanted.
"Wrong?" she finished for him. She shrugged and murmured, her eyes on the baby's face, "It was wrong for Jeremy to ask that of me and it was wrong of you to force me to accept his terms."
She looked up at him and the cool façade she'd had with him all night slipped away. He could see her again, his Elena. She placed the baby in his arms and leaned her cheek on his shoulder, "What nobody but maybe I understand is that this baby is safer with you in its life. Not me. You do anything you have to to protect those you love. I don't care what you have to do, but as my husband and as his uncle, you will protect this family forever by my side."
Damon hadn't held a baby in oh…since Stefan? It felt strange to hold such a small life in his arms. The tiniest fingers he'd ever seen grasped the blanket wrapped around his body.
"I'm done with everyone shuffling around my life choices. I want to be your wife and I want to be an aunt. So I took it," she said.
"I'm sorry," he managed to say. He was fucking sorry. To push her away in that knee jerk reaction of always having to do what he thought was best for her. He was wrong sometimes and he was glad she was bold enough to challenge what didn't feel right to her. She'd always had that inside of her.
"I'm staying," she stated.
"Good," he replied.
Then Lucy appeared, looking calm and happy. "Sorry guys, it's time for another feeding," Lucy admitted, wincing a little at the tightness under her shirt.
Damon could smell the unmistakable sweet prickle of breast milk and his heart twinged at the thought he never entertained. Elena as a mother would be an intoxicatingly beautiful thing. If he could give that to her he would, but it was one of few things that would just never be.
"I know, I spent a good several hours crying after he was born, wishing I could give you children. I'm the only one who didn't have one…" she said softly.
He was confused for a moment by what she meant and then he realized she meant the only doppelganger to transition before bringing another in their line into the world. It was meeting Damon and then Stefan that changed her story forever.
"I love you," he whispered, pulling her into his arms. Then he held her at arms length, grasping her small shoulders and taking her in. She smiled as he talked lowly about how beautiful she looked, from the hair to the dress to the burgundy lipstick.
"I love you too," and her mouth was on his and he knew this was it.
Xxxx
Elena wore a beautiful vintage wedding dress that Rebekkah sent along with a team of seamstresses. It was from Klaus's line and the owner was a bride from the thirties that had been close friends with Rebekkah. She was apparently happy to send it along its way because the marriage had gone sour come the fifties.
Elena stood in front of the mirror as Caroline and Bonnie fussed with the train. The material had been meticulously preserved through the years and detailed to fit Elena's body and style. It was perfect really; thin material that cascaded along her every line and curve. The train was short and went well with the dipping backless style. She had to go braless but the way the material cupped and bunched over her breasts, tightened and lifted them enough that she didn't need one. She had to admit, she'd never felt more beautiful, not even on her birthday last year when she felt wild and free.
A make up artist had done some seriously amazing work. She'd requested a very natural look and was pleased with the outcome. Her eyebrows were shaped and filled in, skin airbrushed flawlessly. Her lips were full and lightly stained a blush that brought out the contours of her cheekbones and soft sweep of eyelashes.
"I've never ever seen a bride as beautiful as you. And I've studied a lot of brides," Caroline admitted.
The hairdresser maneuvered around her friends, adding a final touch to the updo Elena had settled on when Caroline presented her with the options. It was a loose and unruly look; the hairdresser commenting on the length of her hair being hard to work with. But it came together and she knew Damon would love taking it down tonight.
Elena sat as she waited for it to be time to walk outside. She could hear the guests downstairs heading outside to the Salvatore gardens and she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. About what she wasn't sure. Maybe it was just part of it all. She'd fed well this morning with Damon and hadn't seen him since. They shared Catherine's blood and he'd kissed her long and tenderly before giving her the entire west wing to prepare herself.
She hadn't had much time to think about who she wished was there but the thoughts crept in as she knew they would. Her parents should be here along with Ric. Even thoughts of Isobel and Uncle John crossed her mind. She chose to walk the aisle by herself though she knew Jeremy or Stefan would be happy to give her away. She wanted to do it herself though.
The weather was perfect for a spring wedding. There was a light breeze that had started up early that morning that curled around the steam of her coffee mug as she and Damon had sat on his balcony watching the birds fly and settle in the trees, ruffling their feathers and chirping lightly. He seemed so calm and peaceful which was contagious; she'd felt the same calm up until now.
"Ready?" Caroline asked with a big smile.
Elena nodded and stood slowly, twisting her engagement ring thoughtfully as she followed Caroline downstairs. It was far from a traditional wedding. She had no flowers in her hands or veil tumbling down her back. There was no best man or maid of honor waiting at the end of the aisle. There was just Damon and a vampire who'd been turned by Klaus himself that had married the woman whose dress she wore now.
Caroline gave her a quick hug and wink before jetting out the door to take her seat among one of few things they did spend money on for the wedding; ivory hand crafted fold out chairs that Caroline had customized to display the Salvatore family emblem. Damon's Armani suit had been another. She was definitely eager to see him in that. She'd left Damon in charge of music as she was sure his knowledge expanded way past hers and she could hear the string quartet start up a lovely sound that seemed to quiet the wildlife around them.
Elena took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking about the first time she looked into his eyes and fell in love. She thought about the time he stole a kiss on her porch and she'd felt it in her toes. Waking up beside him morning after morning, feeling like crying because it felt so perfect to be his.
She walked along the Crepe Myrtles, calming herself completely by the time she rounded the corner and looked up to see Damon standing there at the fountain. That man looked good in a suit. That was the only thought she could form in that moment. He was breathtaking. When she took her steps towards him she saw what she must look like in the way he gazed unwavering at her. He shook his head slightly at the sight of her, blinking his raven dark lashes slowly and sucking his bottom lip in ever so slightly before exhaling lightly through parted lips.
She didn't even notice the guests, though she felt them. She could even pick up on the tiny beats of Ezra's heart and the twinge of adoration from Elijah as she'd passed him. When she turned to face Damon he immediately placed both his hands gently at her cheeks, cupping her jaw and telling her how beautiful she looked. She smiled and he smiled back. He rarely smiled so big.
They had decided to speak their own vows as neither of them were particularly religious or traditional. Elena had made him promise he'd keep them short because hers would be short and words really meant nothing compared to how they felt in silence.
He went first, speaking with such composure and confidence that she grew nervous she wouldn't find her voice when her time came.
"The moment I knew you, I slowly fell in love. It was slow and then it was fast, and then it was forever. I vow to protect you and everyone you hold dear forever. You are the most precious thing in all time and place to me. You are my always," he faltered a little at the end. Blinking back the emotion that any vampire could sense a mile away no matter how hard he tried to compose himself.
She grasped his hands in hers, staring down at them for a moment before peering up at him. She smiled at how similar their vows turned out to be and bit her lip a little before saying steadily yet softly, "The moment you walked into my life I was captivated. I've experienced every range of emotion with you through the years but the one thing that remained constant was your unwavering loyalty and protection. You've taught me all the colors of life and I vow to be your loyal wife forever. You are mine and I am yours. Always."
He smiled slow and small, his fingers subtly running circles against her palms. Instead of a kiss and proclamation that they were wed, the vampire overseeing their union announced that they would now seal their union of immortal souls in a linking ritual.
Elena blinked up at Damon in confusion but he was looking towards Bonnie and Elijah who approached the fountain. A beautiful large silver goblet was in Elijah's hand and he stated in that enchanting way he spoke, "From the Original line of Klaus Mikaelson," and he poured a vial into the cup. Damon then pulled a vial from his pocket, "From my maker Katarina Petrova," before pouring it in. He then bit into his palm and let a few of his own drops fall in.
Elena stared at him dumbfounded. He just winked and took the tip of her finger gently into his mouth, breaking the skin lightly before squeezing a few drops. Elijah took the goblet around and aided in drops of blood from each guest, even Jeremy and Lucy. Lastly, Bonnie pricked her finger on a blade and squeezed a few times before flinching and shaking her hand of the pain. Then she flashed a smile at Elena and asked her to take the first sip.
Elena had never had a mixture like this. It was intoxicating and hit her immediately. Bonnie chanted something as each guest took a sip.
"Now you may kiss your bride," the vampire instructed Damon softly.
Elena looked up almost dizzily into Damon's eyes and leaned into his palm that he gently placed on her cheek. His fingers threaded warmly behind her ear and sent chills down her spine as they pressed to her scalp. When his lips met hers she felt and heard the collective response to their connection. She wasn't sure how much everyone else felt or saw but the moment was everything Damon and Elena had been from day one. All the pain and uncertainty; the lust and the want; the love and the respect. The way her body sang to his and he consumed every part of her. She felt him this time. She felt that he had an overwhelming sense of devotion to her and that she was something precious and something to be treated with absolute care. What a wonderful way to be loved. His memories and views of her swam among hers of him. They trailed through the pivotal moments when she was a human and this all consuming love they developed as vampires.
He was the one to break the kiss and the link because she could go on forever. She would share it all unknowingly because she became so consumed by it all. Her lips were swollen and she licked at the moist saliva he left behind. When she finally looked around and took Damon's hand so that they could exit the ceremony to dress for the after party, she saw that there wasn't a face in the crowd that wasn't as encompassed by what their love felt like as she was.
Xxxxx
Damon helped Elena out of her wedding dress and into the same dress she'd worn last year at her birthday, thanks to George. They didn't speak, just moved around the room in a haze.
"Wait," Damon said before she opened the door to exit his bedroom.
She turned and her lips pulled up in a small questioning grin. He walked forward and pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it tumble in loose waves down her back.
"There," he said. God she was striking. And she was his.
"Mrs. Salvatore," he stated, offering his arm. She smiled something big and tucked her hand in his arm, kissing his shoulder briefly before walking downstairs towards the large living room that had been rearranged to accommodate for a party.
She never asked him how he got Katherine's blood but that was probably something she pieced together on her own. He'd collected it when he came back to the lake house with Elijah. The man felt far more for the evil bitch than he did but he supposed they knew her differently; from far different times. People change with time and she'd had a lot to work with.
Other than Elena's lot of usual friends, Damon had only invited one person and he hadn't at all expected him to show. But he was there, looking the same as the day he broke his heart and left him in the eighties.
Damon slipped away from Elena's side as her friends swarmed around her, joining him at the drink cart.
"You came," Damon said simply.
"I did," he smiled over his drink. After a few moments he nodded towards Elena who was all smiles and a sight of tanned legs and tumbling hair. "She's a beauty. What a strong love. That felt…incredible. I'm happy for you."
Damon nodded slowly, not sure what to say. If it were anyone else he'd be gushing over his bride, but he still harbored a lot of guilt about the way things played out with this guy he'd turned and let kiss him.
"I'm sorry to hear about George," he added, taking another sip.
"Yeah, that was…tough," Damon said, his voice a little hoarse.
He cleared his throat a little and faced Damon, his sharp green eyes probing his, "Listen, I need to head out. But I was very happy to be given the chance to be a part of something so meaningful to you. I think about you often. I'm happy you found happiness, truly."
Damon sighed and nodded, looking back towards Elena who looked up and offered him a tiny smile. He glanced back at the first person he ever turned and placed a hand tentatively on his shoulder, "Thank you for coming. It means a lot."
And then he was gone and Damon felt relief. Not because he was gone but because it felt like a sort of closure. He seemed good and that was enough for Damon. He regrettably never kept up with him through the years but that's because his head was up his ass over Katherine.
"Want to do a shot?" his brother's voice appeared next to his side.
"Of course," Damon smiled.
Stefan filled up two shot glasses and handed one to Damon, holding his own out readying to toast as they always did.
"I'm happy for you Damon," Stefan said with a seriousness behind his eyes.
"Well, I finally pinned one down huh?" Damon joked. He'd never feel entirely comfortable with the fact that Elena was once his brother's. No matter what, Stefan was his little brother and the bond they shared had been just as, if not more, bumpy and hard earned as his with Elena.
"Yeah, I'd say she's pretty locked down," Stefan nodded, his eyes drifting to the girls in the middle of the room.
"You happy brother?" Damon asked, nodding towards Caroline who happened to look not so bad herself in a tight navy blue number with matching heels.
Stefan faltered for a moment eyes moving around the room before settling back on Damon's. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy," then he let out a short few laughs and stated, "Not quite like you though. Jesus Christ. I've…never felt a love like that. Makes it seem like we have further to go than I thought."
Damon felt a sort of satisfaction. To love and be loved by Elena was something they both shared but to hear Stefan admit it hadn't been that way for him just further verified that this was special. Hell, he knew it was special without any verifications. But it felt good.
"No two loves are the same. You've got a good one," Damon shrugged, holding his shot glass up to clank into Stefan's. They knocked it back just as the music kicked on and it was their song. Elena smiled almost coyly and held her hand out, wiggling her fingers. He set his shot glass in Stefan's free hand and clasped him on the shoulder before walking towards Elena.
He swept her quickly into his arms, tucking her hand in his and wrapping an arm around her small waist.
"Wife," he greeted, swaying to the beat.
"Husband," she grinned back.
Geez they were cheesy in love right now and he adored it. For a moment it was just them and the familiar smells of the boarding house. It was just this.
He was going to ravish her tonight. He told her so and she bit her lip, hiding her face in his chest. He just closed his eyes and let go of her hand to place it on the back of her head, smoothing her hair and holding her close to his heart. He felt her hand wrap around his neck and he thought about how desperately he wanted to hold her like this at the Original family's ball or at the Miss Mystic Fall's Pageant. She'd been so unattainable yet so responsive then. Her heartbeat always gave it away first. It sped up when they made eye contact for too long or when they touched. The scent of her guilt laced ache for him was the next he noticed. Then it developed over time until it was something more. He knew when she started to love him but he also knew she doubted herself and she fought it.
Now she was his wife. He would have never believed it.
The song ended and she lifted up a little to kiss his neck and then his jaw, then his lips.
"Wanna get me drunk?" she asked playfully, leaning her chin on his.
"I can definitely help you with that," he replied, running his fingers lightly down her back, tangling in her hair.
Tyler and Matt were by the drink cart pouring shots.
"Just in time," Tyler said with a smile, handing both Damon and Elena shots.
"Congrats," Matt added.
Eventually Damon was very successful in getting Elena drunk. She was glassy eyed and giggling, hugging everyone as they left. Elijah murmured something in Elena's ear Damon couldn't catch over the loudness of Caroline cleaning up and singing along to a song. Elena smiled and nodded before wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a long hug. Damon watched Elijah smile to himself, probably amused at the drunken little girl with the familiar face.
Elena had insisted on no honeymoon which baffled Damon. She just wanted to be back home with him for a while, reminding him they had all the time in the world to travel. It wasn't the place she was interested in, it was the people she spent her time with. He loved that.
As the party sizzled out and it was just the four of them, Damon eased Elena onto the couch, letting out a chuckle when she drunkenly sprawled anything but lady like.
"Baby, you can barely keep your head up," he murmured.
She just smiled and said, "Give me like fifteen minutes and a glass of blood and I'll be okay."
She was probably right so he left her there while joining his brother and Caroline with clean up duty. There was a slew of wedding gifts on a table in the corner that Miss Kitty had taken to sitting atop. It wasn't until the drinks were put away and glasses in the sink, that Stefan whispered something into Elena's ear and shot Damon a wink.
Then they were alone, he and his wife. His beautiful drunken wife that was playing on the floor with the cat, batting around a balled up napkin.
"Did you ever think you'd get married?" Elena asked suddenly, scooping the squirming cat into her arms.
He dropped to the floor nearby, kicking off his shoes and reaching out to tug Miss Kitty's tail. The scrawny little shit made a sharp sound and slashed Elena's arm before skittering out of the room. Elena let out a yelp and surveyed the bead of blood that escaped before her skin closed up quickly.
He grabbed her arm and offered her a faux pout before flicking his tongue out to smooth the blood onto his tongue.
"Well did you?" she asked again, crawling into his lap to rest her cheek against his shoulder.
"Not in a million years," he said, nuzzling down to nip at the top of her ear.
"Let's open the presents," she said, plucking the buttons of his shirt off one by one.
"Naked?" he asked as she ran a finger down the skin of his chest between his opened shirt.
"You just look uncomfortable," she shrugged, pushing the shirt down his shoulders. Her fingers felt like dewy petals of a flower; soft and cool.
He gently moved her from his lap so that he could stand and toss his shirt to the side. She smiled a lazy sort of smile when he pulled her white dress over her raised arms, tossing it aside too. He took a few steps back and watched her bite her lip and peer up at him, looking better than she had the first time she'd stood before him, seconds away from making love to him. Her breasts sat just so; youthfully full and sinuous.
"I lied. I thought about getting married a few times before I turned. I thought about starting a family and how I'd tell my son every day how important and worthy he was. Before I knew what Katherine was, I pictured these little smiling faces with dark ringlets and chocolate eyes," he smiled and kissed her small nose.
She looked thoughtful so he interrupted wherever her thoughts were taking her with the first gift he could reach from the pile. She tore into it and cocked her head with a, "hmm."
"Told you we should have registered somewhere," he shrugged, eying the hideous vase. Or was it a decorative potpourri bowl? Whatever it was, it wasn't going to live here.
"You told me not to, that vampires can have anything they want. You said there probably wouldn't even be gifts!" she shot back, scooting the vase with a loud scrape behind her.
Hm, so he did…
"Careful with the hardwoods dear," he murmured, trying not to sound as annoyed as it made him feel.
A small smile pulled at her lips that he immediately kissed, sliding his fingers just so around each of her bare breasts. She laughed silently into his mouth and swatted his hands away.
"I'm sorry," she replied with all the serious she could muster behind her gleeful eyes. She looked so damn happy.
They opened others, taking turns reaching and unwrapping and laughing. It was his turn to laugh when she stared at a particular gift with utter shock. Her mouth opened and closed, her head cocking to the side before blinking rapidly into his eyes.
"Who gave us this…and what is it?" Her voice was almost edgy. He loved when something offended or shocked her pants off. As coy and ravenous she could be in bed, there was a side to her that was still rattled when his finger would push slightly into her tight ass or when his palms spread her cheeks so wide she'd jerk away bashfully. So young.
Damon took the small cylinder connected to the hand pump and inspected it closer. He'd never used one of these but heard stories. He felt his slacks tighten and he raised an eyebrow at her puzzled face.
"This, my loving wife, is a vampire sex toy. And you can thank Rebekkah," he replied.
"Hm," was all she said, though he noticed a slight crawl of blush spread from her chest to her neck. He smelled the intrigue and oh how sweet it was.
"I did something for you," he decided to say.
He watched her expression change slightly to a different degree of curiosity. He took her by the hand and led her to his wing of the upstairs, stepping aside so she could open the door.
"Oh…" was all she could say. All he could do was stare at how perfect she looked in the room he made for her. It had been the home of an old bed and stacks of Uncle Zach's crap they'd never gotten around to ditching. But now she stood so still, every nude line of her body illuminated by the low glow of the candles burning over thick ivory wax. The flickering light danced gold and warm, giving the light lavender of the walls a richer hue.
Walls of books, a mixture of hers and Georges and a few of his own, sat amongst her family pictures and little trinkets on weathered white shelves. The desk he'd had flown over from Italy, remembering sitting at it in the early 1900's writing what he thought would be a work of art. He was Lestat writing as mournfully about his tragic existence in a very Stefan-esqu voice. He ended up trashing the whole thing but he was fond of the desk. He was very pleased to track it down and even more pleased that very little had to be done to restore it to an appropriate level of functionality.
He ran his fingers like feathers through her long hair, whispering, "A place to write; a place to get lost in that intricate mind of yours…" he pushed her gently down onto the bed that he'd gotten from Rooms To Go because, well, it came with a TV.
"A place to fuck," he continued, enjoying the way she ran her hands across the very expensive comforter that they'd surely stain. He should have thought about that.
She liked that he said fuck. It was written in the swell of her lips and dewy eyes. She never asked for it but he felt that now that he'd upgraded from boyfriend to fiancé to husband, it was his duty to talk dirty to her. To make her blush and come undone until she was the one humming filth into his ears. She would grow up and she'd be his and he felt predatorily satisfied with that.
"You make these little sounds," he stated, hovering over her body, not quite touching her but grazing his thigh between that damp spot between her legs. On cue she let out the sweetest of moans.
"I like these little sounds. You make another that pretty much owns my soul. You know the one," he murmured, nudging her thighs a little wider.
She was so damn responsive. He took a moment to take in the way her cocoa irises nearly disappeared behind her dilated pupils. Her lips were parted to allow the shaky breath to blow unsteadily across his hovering mouth. The vein in her neck was working hard; thumpthumpthump. Her nipples were brushing against his chest with each intake of air; hardened but not nearly as taut as they grew between his teeth.
He smelled her desire, love, and excitement. The desire and love was always there; the excitement not always…and never to this level. She knew him, her body knew tonight would be different.
"But I know you can do better," he stated, resting the tip of his nose to hers, "I'm going to make you scream."
Xxxxx
It was like it had been the first time her mind and body took in Damon's existence. He was dangerously intriguing. The way his eyes bore into hers and the sound of his voice as he said things with that lilt. Those dark brows, designed sharp and arched as if to match that alluring dark soul that had always beckoned to her own. His jaw was as sharp as his tongue; his fangs sharper. She wanted to caress his face and say it again and again; how much she adored him. But she didn't. She wanted to keep hold of this dark look in his eyes that once frightened her. He was like a thorny black rose. Too rare in its dark beauty not to grasp painfully. His every thorn, sharp and marking, was worth each petal she plucked away.
A part of her wanted to lay still and let him do things to her but her body told her otherwise. Parts of her were clawing at her insides, begging to be let out. She hadn't realized how much she wanted to let go with him. Even more so she hadn't realized how much she'd held in.
He kissed her slow and deep as he often did. Usually she'd tangle her fingers into his hair and taste every bump of his tongue. But she wanted more. He made her want more. No, he was demanding that she want more.
As his lips did things with hers, she wanted to feel just how wet she was for him. She wanted him to feel with her. So she grabbed one of his hands and placed it between her thighs. She nudged her own middle finger aside his and they slid and tangled as she gasped against his teeth.
"I wish you knew how good you feel inside," he crooned into her neck, "the way you feel all around me."
"I'd imagine just as good as it is to be filled with you," she managed to say as they slid their fingers inside of her one after the other.
It was a strange yet exhilarating feeling to slide against her spongy flesh like she had on so many occasions alone before, sliding in time against Damon's thicker, longer finger that reached that spot so much sweeter. He pushed slightly with the tip of his finger, causing her finger to freeze and her back to arch, a hiss escaping her opened mouth.
He hummed suggestively. How he could make the most beautiful sounds she still didn't know. He'd always been able to do things to her without even touching her. It had driven her crazy when she was a human. Crazy.
Realizing he still wore his pants, she slipped out of herself and tore them off, enjoying the loud ripping sound that echoed off the book-lined walls. As he thrust his soaked finger deeper inside, adding another finger and then another, he murmured "Those were Armani". The deepness of his fingers inside hurt but in a way she liked. It was just the pain of getting used to how much he filled her.
She shoved her still damp finger into his mouth because she loved to watch him taste her. She loved her scent on his mouth because it told the world that she was his. He swirled his tongue around her middle finger, her four other nails digging into his stubbled cheeks. She gasped when he bit a little too hard with blunt teeth, her eyes widening up at his in surprise.
She saw a challenging look there. He didn't smooth away the pain or release his grasp on her finger. She felt it pulse between his teeth and a flicker of fear danced around her heart for a few thumps. Instead of pulling away she concentrated on the building pleasure inside of her, where his fingers found all the right spots deeper than he normally went.
That thing scratching and digging from the inside was nearing. She wanted to let it take over. It was scary but this was her husband; her maker; her friend. If she could give it to anyone and it be kept safe and sacred, it was him. It had always been him.
He immediately dropped her finger from his mouth when she grabbed his wrist and pulled his fingers out of her. She flipped him onto his back with a strength she'd grown to respect. She knew who was weaker, and she knew who was stronger. She straddled him, resting her wet and swollen middle on the tuft of hair that sat on the jut of bone. She could feel him pulsing and twitching against the parted skin of her bottom as she tasted each of his drenched fingers. She tasted saltier than usual. It was good, it was strong.
He grunted and his abdomen muscles tensed hard beneath her when she bit down on a finger, much harder than he had her. She snaked a hand behind her back to wrap her fingers just below the hooded tip of him. Elena watched Damon's face as she drew blood from the tip of his finger just as she slid against the length of him with her hand still coated in her wetness. How had she missed the way he looked when she gave him what he needed. It struck her that maybe she'd always been so wrapped up in what he'd given her all the times before. This was just as good, if not sweeter.
"I want to learn everything you like," she admitted, mesmerized…transfixed…on his face.
"And you will," he said right back, eyes unfocused but peering up at her just the same.
"You like it when I hurt you," she stated, running a fingernail too deeply just below his collarbone. Blood seeped for a moment and she let it dry there over the quickly healing skin.
"Not as much as I like the way you look when I hurt you," he admitted, rolling her onto her back and pinning her arms above her head.
Her heart raced in anticipation. She knew they could do way more damage than either would ever be willing or happy with doing. She knew this was safe and the pain was just this dark part that they both shared and celebrated. It was what Damon recognized inside of her and she suppressed. It was what joined them.
The smell of sex tamped out the waxy smell of low burning candles. Melting lava-like streams dripped off the bookshelves and some were burning out, leaving wisps of pungent smoke in the air. It was hot in the room, not a window cracked or a fan spinning above. Their skin dotted with sweat but it only added to Elena's need.
"Is that toy for you or me?" she asked when she watched him retrieve it from the nightstand after letting go of her wrists.
He didn't reply, just moved down her body to drop a kiss at her navel before leaving the bed to grab her ankles and jerk her to the foot of it. She propped up on her elbows to watch with a creeping nervousness as he dropped to his knees and spread her open with his palms. Her feet, burning hot and draping off the bed, found solace against the cool skin of his sides.
She watched as he placed the small cylinder over her already sensitive clitoris.
"Hold it there," he instructed, to which she immediately obeyed with a stretch of her arm and grasp of her fingers.
There was a thin tube and handle that led from the cylinder that hugged the bundle of nerves that were stabbing madly at her. He started pumping the handle and she gasped as she felt herself swell and throb. It was almost too intense, no, it was too intense. She bit her lip and made those little sounds Damon liked so much but they were faster; frantic even.
"Now?" he asked softly. She wasn't sure what now meant but she knew she couldn't handle what he was doing any longer so she nodded vigorously.
What happened next made her see stars. She literally saw bursts of light and nothing else even though she was sure her eyes were wide open. Her mouth opened and she was making sounds she never thought she was capable of making. The toy had filled her with her blood only to puncture through the skin like two tiny fangs, throwing her into the most painfully intense orgasm of her life. His mouth immediately covered her bleeding and swollen clit, the contraption clattering to the ground. She came as he sucked the built up blood into his mouth with such delicacy.
It didn't end; it lessened, but rode on even as his mouth left her and he pushed inside of her with a rolling, sensual thrust. It almost sounded like she was sobbing. He moved inside her in ways that were familiar and then in ways that weren't. The long and circular thrusts were a familiar dance that her body knew the steps to. The deep and erratic pushes where he'd fill her and then tilt up just so, her body was awakened by. It was a sharp pain each time, but she could feel her insides clasping and dipping all around and over him. She was becoming hoarse.
It wasn't until he was out of her and she was empty that she realized she'd begun pleading with him. She'd been crying out in pleasure and pain but couldn't take much more. But she felt too empty and she wasn't done with this. There was more to be had and she wanted to do something for him too. She wanted to awaken something within him that perhaps he kept suppressed for her.
So she offered something she'd offered no man before. She wasn't sure she'd like it or if he'd like it but she knew she wanted it. She wanted to be filled by him. It wasn't like the pornos she'd giggled through with Bonnie and Caroline when they were younger. He didn't bend her over and slam into her. Damon gently laid her on her side, his lips reassuring against her neck as he drew the moistness from her to rub softly at the puckered opening between her cheeks.
She closed her eyes and relaxed, fully trusting that this was okay. He used his finger to edge slowly inside her. She immediately tensed out of reflex but he was slow enough and patient enough that her body accepted. It felt...good. She wasn't sure why exactly. But it was good.
It was similar when he finally worked himself slowly inside her. The urge to push eventually subsided and was replaced with a satisfying feeling that was only amplified by the sounds buzzing against her earlobe.
"Fucking God," he whispered to himself.
He moved so slow, so tentatively. He was shuddering and his fingers grasped and trailed across her belly and breasts. She felt so safe and so loved in this moment. There was nothing before him and he was everything after.
"Don't ever leave me Damon," Elena said fiercely. She didn't say it because she was afraid he would. Forever was a long time. Maybe that's what she meant. Don't ever let time change them from what they are and have now.
He understood that, she knew. He didn't even have to reply, and he didn't. He just explored with filling push and pulls of the unexplored insides of her body as he bit into her flesh from behind, taking in stinging amounts of her blood that pumped furiously. He was taking and taking and she realized that was something he didn't usually do. Usually he was offering and only took when she took too. This was something new he was allowing himself.
"You won't hurt me," she whispered, tightening briefly around him, causing him to let out a clipped moan.
So he moved inside her the way he needed and it started to feel very good to her. So she reached down to touch her sensitive skin, rubbing slightly.
"My God…" Damon whispered as if the whole thing was blowing his mind. It was almost like magic knowing she made this man feel this much. Just her, this child in comparison.
She could smell her blood and watched it drip from his chin down her arm. The veins tickled and it wasn't even controllable. The bloodlust was there just by the sight of it and his arm was immediately pressed against her mouth as he breathed hotly between her shoulder blades.
Elena found a large vein, knowing it would gush deliciously. This time she bit in just as Damon had been trying to show and teach her from the beginning.
"Good girl," he murmured, "perfect."
She couldn't help but tingle under his praise. His taste coated her throat and pooled in her mouth as she rubbed quicker at her middle. He started to push in deeper than before, faster too. She didn't notice the pain, not with all the pleasure she was bringing to herself and to him.
She came first, it was always so easy for her with him. She made a mess on her pillow when she pulled her mouth from his arm to moan, the blood flooding over her lower lip and soaking the white sheets. Damon was never one to be bashful about the moans and cries of a good love making session. But this was different. It was filled with emotion. It was raw and it filled her more than anything else ever had.
He didn't stay inside of her after spilling in shuddering jerks like he often did when he was buried in her vagina. It felt pleasant when he was out of her. She felt…serene. Never had she felt like everything was just right.
It took him awhile for his breathing to calm and his body from doing that quaking that she loved because it meant she affected him so deeply. But when he was in that perfect place that she was, he spoke in a voice she'd never get tired of hearing in the forever ahead of them.
"Turn around baby. Look at me."
So she did, flipping over onto her other side so that she could look into his eyes. She felt her heart jerk at the way his expression took hold of the deepest of her emotions for this man. He'd looked at her in so many ways that left her feeling adored and beautiful. But this. This was Damon in all-consuming love. No apprehension or fear. He looked like he could cry.
"We deserve this," she whispered.
He talked fast and passionately, swiping the blood from her chin with his thumbs as he spoke, "Let me take you places. There's so much to see. There's so many lives to be lived and I've never felt more alive than when I'm with you."
She closed her eyes and let him tangle his fingers into her hair and push the pads of his fingers into her scalp as he spoke to her about the future. He painted such a lovely picture that he'd probably had sketched out years ago, just waiting for it to be right.
Xxxxx
Damon watched Elena try new foods and see all the amazing things the world had to offer. They traveled tirelessly, her hunger for more places and knowledge growing each year. He enjoyed every second of it, feeling as if he were experiencing it all for the first time with her. Her hunger for him never wavered, which was a blessing because his need for her was insatiable.
They fought in the ways they always did. Sharp and painful; loud and direct. But always with purpose. There were still those bumps that were always there and would always be there. She still had her prejudices, probably deeply ingrained from the moment he snapped Jeremy's neck all those years ago to the time he admitted he'd let Matt die If it meant letting her live the life she wanted to live. He found himself watching her stand on a balcony in Paris, smiling into the sunrise over the old city, pondering if he earned her love or if she just learned that life isn't perfect and the people in it less than so. It's what you do with the imperfections that matter. Damon loved her because he saw past all that. He saw what was inside; what she tried to hide…and he loved it. He made it grow. Little by little he nurtured and protected what only he recognized in her. In doing so he forgave himself too. Together they were better.
Even the most wilted flowers turn towards the sun; they bloom.
Xxxxx
A/N: The End. Thank you all! Going to finish up Memory's Keeper quickly I hope and stay tuned for something I've been working on for a while when my muse was directed somewhere else in all the spaces between Bloom.