Meredith knew there was something wrong the second Derek walked in the door. He'd paused in the foyer, as if he were composing himself. He'd only ever done that when he'd done something wrong. Some of the worst moments in their relationship had happened because he'd lingered in the foyer. It held good memories too. It always seem to have positive consequences if the pair of them were lingering together, but when Derek lingered alone, Meredith knew he was about to hurt her with something and he had to build up the courage to do that again.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked him, as he finally walked into the kitchen, frowning slightly when she couldn't get a proper read of his expression. She'd asked him just hours before not to date any woman but her, and admitted she was scared, and he'd tried to say something, but she told him to wait and say something tomorrow. Progress, that's what she'd called it. And now Derek was lingering in her kitchen doorway about to say the thing that she'd told him to say tomorrow. A thing that he deemed bad enough that he had to tell her. He'd waited until tomorrow, he'd waited all day while she was in surgery and he was in surgery, wanting to tell her, to come clean about whatever it was that was bothering him. And here he was about to say the thing that would pop Meredith's happy little bubble. The two stood in silence for a few minutes before Derek forced himself to tell her.

"I kissed my scrub nurse." Meredith looked at Derek, digesting his words. It hung in the air waiting for one of them to react. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn't come. What was she supposed to say to that? How could he even have thought of doing something like that? She caught his eye before he bowed his head, staring at the floor. His eyes were full of guilt, she could tell he knew he'd done something earth shatteringly terrible. There was so much hurt, so much regret there. He knew he'd hurt her, he was so aware that he couldn't even bring himself to make eye contact with her. She couldn't bring herself to say anything, there was nothing she could say that would change the fact that he'd kissed another woman while he was waiting for her. She knew that this was it; that this would make or break them, that if she chose to forgive him right now, this was her shot at being a couple. She had to take a step forward, or she would lose him. Meant to be or not, he'd proved that he could and he would move on if she couldn't get to a place where she was ready. Fate wasn't the thing that would keep them together, she was. If she didn't fight now, she was pretty much giving up her shot at a happy ever after. She walked out from behind the breakfast bar and over to the doorway where he stood like a frightened child. She reached up a hand to his face, and he flinched waiting for the slap, but it never came. Her soft hands brushed against his stubble as she tilted his chin up so he could look in her eyes. He could see that he'd hurt her when he chose to kiss Rose, her eyes spoke the words that her mouth didn't. He began to lower his head in shame again. Unable to look at the pain he'd caused for any longer. She knew she might regret what she was about to say, but she knew it had to be said if she had any chance of getting past this. She breathed in his woodsy scent, the scent that remained on his pillow, the scent she breathed in when he wasn't there because it comforted her. The scent she wanted to spend the rest of her life with before Addison, and before the bomb and the drowning, and before this. Before he kissed another woman. Before he decided that he was all too willing to move on. Before he told her, knowing what the consequences might be.

"I forgive you." She whispered, as his gaze swiftly met hers again. "For kissing rose. I'm forgiving you." He breathed a sigh, not daring to speak, humbled by the maturity of the woman he loved and totally aware of what an enormous step this was for her, he'd pressured her into being ready, and then he'd shown her that he was willing to have it all with someone else, yet she'd forgiven him. She hadn't given up. There was hope.

"It hurts me, knowing how quickly you would move on, but I'm going to try to look past it. I believe that we can move on from this. You were dating, you were waiting for me to be ready. You kissed her before i said how i felt. I can forgive you for that. But if you ever do that to me again..." She tore her gaze away, staring up at the celling to try and stop the tears that were threatening to fall. "I want us Derek. I'm not ready for the big happily ever after, but I'm ready to be us. To move forward. All that stuff you want in our future that terrifies me, but I'll work towards it. But you have to promise me that you will be right here by my side going through it with me, helping me when it does get scary. Just us, no dating anyone else, no S&M, just us, in a real proper relationship. Just us."

"I promise Meredith." He told her "I'm in for us, I'm in, I just can't lose you again."

"So this is it, no more running away from each other, no more maybes, or when I'm ready's."

"No more running away, no more maybes, just whenever you're ready, I'm ready."

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too Meredith." He pulled her into his arms, both of them shedding their tears at the momentous event that had just taken place between them. He kissed her long and deep, and she deepened it further as she raked her fingers through his hair. They both came up for air, gazing intently into each other's eyes. This was it. This was going to be forever. She was his forever, and he couldn't wait to spend it with her.

Meredith was grateful that he'd told her himself, hearing it from him meant that he wanted her to be able to act on it, he didn't want to hide anything from her. Even though it hurt her that he'd kissed someone else, it helped that he'd come clean, that he felt guilty. It proved to her that he was really in this, and that made her all the more determined to fight for whatever they did have, to give this one last shot. She walked past him, going towards the stairs, she turned around to look at him hoping he'd follow. She raised her eyebrows as he looked at her, quickly rushing to her side and following her up to their bedroom. She shimmied out of her tiny little robe and hopped into her side of the bed, patting the other side so that he'd join her. He pulled on some pyjama pants and an old t-shirt and joined her unsure whether or not he was allowed to touch her. Meredith edged towards him, grabbing his hand and holding it near to her chest. It was a simple gesture but for Derek it was a sign of hope, a sign that he hadn't ruined everything. He so easily could have with his idiocy, but he hadn't, Meredith's slender fingers entwined with his gave him hope. There could be a future here, there would be a future here, he just had to be willing to fight for it with her.