A Torment To Themselves


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the Harry Potter universe. This story is written for fun. No profit is being made.


It was the truth universally acknowledged, when one is single on their birthday, they are allowed to have all the sex they want. That's what Dean had told him and Harry happily believed it to be true. It was his birthday and he was going to have all the sex. Because, he was the Boy Who Lived, unfortunately for him, he was also, the boy who could never get laid.

The trouble that Harry had, as many righteous individuals did, was that they liked it with feeling. So, it was Dean and Seamus' responsibility to get Harry sex, with or without feelings.

"Maybe we can go to a Muggle club," Seamus said. "Then, no one will know who Harry is and we'll be able to find him someone suitable."

"Who is going to the club with him?" Dean asked. "You?" Seamus nodded in affirmation. "You wouldn't last five minutes at a Muggle club." Seamus laughed, it was true. "Besides, Harry isn't going to go for a Muggle. After his last incident, he prefers to shag wizards."

"Harry hasn't shagged anyone in ages, I don't think he should be that picky," Seamus answered.

"Harry is standing right here," the man being discussed in the conversation retorted.

Both Dean and Seamus ignored him and continued discussing the venture to get Harry sex.

"I'm just going to the pub around the corner, come and get me when you've decided," Harry declared, and left their friends' flat. He didn't head to the pub right away, he decided to stroll around for a bit as it was nice out and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.


0-0-0


Draco Malfoy was having a horrible day. He'd just broken up with a bloke he'd been trying to break it off with for over five weeks. It's what happens when you shag someone on your birthday. You should never find someone in the desperate drunk hour because they might just be the last thing you needed, he had told Pansy once, and it had turned out to be quite the truth.

What was worse that it had started to rain unexpectedly when the weather had been beautiful all day. He dashed through the door and spelled himself dry. The pub was more crowded than he'd expected and the only spot left was next to someone Draco recognised almost immediately, Harry Bloody Potter.


0-0-0


It was nearing seven o'clock in the morning and Harry opened the front door to his flat to discover his friends sleeping on the sofa. He didn't expect them to have come there looking for him. Harry unintentionally closed the door behind him with a bang and awakened them.

"Harry, where have you been?" Seamus nearly shouted.

"I—"

"We've been waiting here all night for you!" Seamus spoke again.

"Erm—"

"What time is it?" Dean asked.

"It's just a little before seven, I've got to get ready for work," Harry replied.

"Where have you been all night?" Seamus asked again. "We were worried sick, we contacted Hermione and Ron via the Floo and they said that they hadn't seen you."

"We even went to the pub, and the bartender said you had just left when we arrived, so we thought you were headed back here but—" Dean briefly paused.

"Who did you go home with?" Seamus chimed in.

"What?" Harry said, startled. "No one—I mean—"

"Who. Is. It?" Seamus spoke with firmness. "Tell us, or we will unleash Hermione on you."

"No one, I swear," Harry promised. "I went to the pub then I thought maybe I'll take your advice and go to a Muggle club. So I went out on my own but it didn't develop into anything. I sort of just roamed the streets after and then it was beginning to get light out and I headed home."

Seamus and Dean looked at each other and nodded. They seemed to believe him. "Alright," they both said simultaneously and left. Harry headed to his bedroom to change and shower. He didn't want to be late for work.


0-0-0


"Sheila!" Harry called out to his secretary from his office. He had a blasting headache and didn't wish to get up from his desk.

"Yes, Auror Potter?" Sheila came running in.

"Kinglsey wants me to work on the…on the…" Harry had trouble remembering. He had been so drunk the night before that in the morning, he had trouble remembering his own name. it had been like that since his birthday from the time when—

"The Cogan case," Malfoy said, striding into Harry's office unannounced. He threw the file at Harry's desk and scowled. "Merlin, Potter, you look like death."

Harry didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. "Thanks, Malfoy," he managed. "Sheila, can you highlight the key points from the investigation and return the file back to Auror Malfoy?" Sheila nodded and grabbed the file off Harry's desk and left.

Malfoy watched Harry's secretary walk out of the office and close the door behind her before he spoke again. "So what happened?"

"What happened when?" Harry asked bemused.

"To you, why do you look like you haven't slept in days?"

"I haven't slept in days."

"Why?"

"Do you really care?"

"No, I suppose I don't." Malfoy turned away from Harry and walked out the door.

Rats.


0-0-0


It really was Draco's fault. He was the one who told Potter that it would be a one-time thing and that he shouldn't call upon Draco again and they'd have to pretend that it never happened. It was Potter's birthday and he was just sitting at the bar alone, looking just so—pathetic. Draco had to take pity on him and give him a night to remember.

Unfortunately for Draco, it was one of the best nights he'd ever had. The sex was hot. And it wasn't hot as in, Draco was so horny that he'd shag anyone and think it was hot, but it was hot like his arse was still sore the next day and he still wanted Potter's prick, hot. He was in the shower and he wanted Potter sucking him off hot. He was eating dinner alone and he yearned for Potter to sit in his lap and feed him hot.

Gods, Draco hated himself for thinking about and missing Potter.

And Potter?

That bastard hadn't even owled him once to ask for an encore. Maybe Potter didn't think it was hot. Rubbish, Draco told himself. Malfoys are sex gods. Malfoys could write volumes on the art of making love and satisfying one's partner in thirty-seven ways. Potter was just a fool who had taken what Draco had said literally. Draco just wanted Potter to come back begging for more and he never did.

Draco sat at his desk scowling and counting the ways Potter was a fool when a knock on the door startled him. It was Sheila Desai, Potter's secretary.

"Auror Potter asked me to return the file to you," she said. Malfoy nodded and took the file off of her hand. "He naps in the office sometimes," the woman added.

"What?"

"Auror Potter, he claims that he has trouble sleeping at night, but he naps in the office sometimes, because he's just always so tired these days."

"Why are you telling me this?" Draco asked. He didn't understand. So Potter was a lazy fool, big surprise there, he was best mates with Weasley.

"He mumbled…" she paused for a moment. "He mumbles your name." Draco stared at her wide-eyed. "A lot."

"Oh."

"Yeah," she answered. "Just thought you should know."

"What else should I know?"

"I know that after weeks of delaying, Mr Smith has finally convinced Auror Potter to meet him for drinks tonight," she said.

"Smith? Zacharias Smith?" Draco asked with disgust.

"Yes."

"But he's—repulsive."

"Precisely."

"Why are you helping me?" Draco asked, he was curious. Draco had barely spoken more than two words to her before that day.

"I am not," she answered. "I am helping him." With a smile and a courtesy nod, Harry's secretary left the office leaving Draco to think about many things.


0-0-0


Harry arrived at the Leaky Cauldron at eight o'clock, the time he'd set up with Smith for drinks. Smith wanted to go to a fancier place but Harry was quite aware of his intentions and wanted to let Smith know that he wasn't interested-in the most subtle way possible.

Harry found Smith sitting at a round table in the corner and headed in his direction. Right before he reached the table, Malfoy came out of nowhere.

"Potter," Malfoy said, then turned to regard Smith and nodded. Smith did not look pleased.

Harry hadn't expected to see Malfoy so he inadvertently, involuntarily grinned at him. He felt like a fool immediately. He was supposed to play it cool. He wasn't smitten with Malfoy! No, he wasn't smitten at all!

"Do you mind if I join you?" Malfoy asked Harry.

"Actually—" Smith began to speak but Harry cut him off.

"No, please. The more the merrier." Harry's tone was casual and he turned to look at Smith who was scowling. It only got worse because Malfoy decided to sit between Smith and Harry. Harry was glad. Smith—felt otherwise.

As the evening progressed Malfoy did his best to undermine anything Smith said. Every gesture of affection he tried to toss towards Harry, Malfoy interrupted it by either abruptly placing his hands on the table and once even spilling his drink on Smith.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked Malfoy when Smith had gone to the loo to wash his trousers off with water. He could have simply spelled them clean at the table but Malfoy insisted.

Malfoy slyly slid his hand on Harry's thigh and asked: "What do you mean?"

Harry looked down at the hand on his thigh and smirked. "Well, that for starters, and why are you interrupting my date with Smith?"

"Oh, I didn't realise you were interested in dating Smith?" Malfoy asked, his tone was slightly hurt, but he didn't move his hand. Harry knew he was being playful. He didn't mind it, he just didn't understand.

"You said it should have been a one-off," Harry said.

"Yeah, I said that if you shag someone on your birthday, it should be a one-off. I didn't include myself in that notion. I didn't know at that moment that it was going to end up being me."

Harry didn't get a chance to respond, Smith had come back. Harry hadn't anticipated and he figured that Malfoy hadn't realised it either that Smith would return and sit next to Harry. Smith took one look at Malfoy's hand on Harry's lap and smiled. He shrewdly placed his right hand on Harry's left lap.

Harry couldn't believe it. He chuckled slightly. It was as if the Birthday Gods had finally decided to shower him with all the attention he'd never received.

"You know, Malfoy," Smith said as he squeezed Harry's thigh, "I don't really have a problem with sharing."

"You speak as if you actually have any prospect, Smith," Malfoy retorted.

"I'm the one who asked Harry to come meet for a drink tonight, if anyone has entitlement, it is I," Smith replied, his nails slightly digging into Harry's skin.

Malfoy snorted. "Entitlement? Potter's only agreed to meet you for a drink because you've been imploring nonstop for weeks." Malfoy's grip became firmer as well.

"You know, I am right here," Harry said. The two men continued to ignore Harry and had another round of insults prepared for each other. Harry grabbed both of their hands and pushed them off of him. Harry glared at Malfoy who seemed to understand and got up off the bench allowing Harry to get out from between the two of them.

"If the two of you want to stay here and fight it out, by all means," Harry said. "I'm going home. Have a good night." Harry practically sprinted out of the Leaky Cauldron without as much as a glance back at Malfoy.

"Potter!" Malfoy called out after Harry but he still didn't turn.

When Harry was out on the street, Malfoy and Smith had caught up with him. They both began to speak at the same time and Harry raised his hands gesturing them to stop. Harry turned to Smith. "Zach, just go home." Smith sighed and looked at Malfoy who was smirking in triumph. He turned around and walked away. "Malfoy, I'll see you tomorrow." Harry began to walk away. He was annoyed. At first he was intrigued, but it was obvious that soon it had become about Malfoy's need to win rather than his desire to win Harry.

"Wait, what?" Malfoy sounded shocked but Harry didn't budge, he continued to march away. "Potter, wait."

"Malfoy, I'm not in the mood for any of your games right now."

Malfoy ran after Harry, he placed his hand on Harry's left shoulder and pulled him. "I don't want to play games, Potter."

"Then what do you want?" Harry was tired. He liked Malfoy, he couldn't deny it. He always found him attractive and in one weak moment he gave into that desire, because it was his birthday and he was allowed to have sex with the sexiest man in the room. Now he was again regretting jumping into something without having thought it through.

"Why didn't you—after we—?"

"Why didn't you?"

Malfoy shrugged. "You're the Gryffindor."

"Really? That's your claim? It's a good thing you didn't become a solicitor, Malfoy." Harry scoffed. "You said you wanted a one-off. What in the bloody hell was I supposed to do? Owl you? So you could embarrass me, announce it to the Ministry that Harry Potter fucked you and now he couldn't have enough?"

"When I said I wanted a one-off, I didn't think—I mean, I had just ended it with someone and I—"

"This is really not going well for you, Malfoy," Harry stated.

"Okay, I didn't think it was going to be amazing, okay?" Malfoy confessed.

"So you don't just want a one-off?" Harry asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No." Malfoy sighed. "I want a thousand-off!"

"A thousand-off?" Harry laughed.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Sod off, Potter." This time, Malfoy turned and began to walk away and Harry chased after him.

"Wait, Malfoy." Malfoy stopped and stared furiously. "A thousand-off is like a year of shagging."

"Yeah?" Malfoy asked, shrugging. "So?"

"So you want to shag me for a year?" Harry raised an eyebrow again.

"I'd be okay with that," Malfoy replied as if it was the simplest decision he'd ever made.

"Your place or mine?"


0-0-0


Potter was incredible in the shower. It was a mix of how hot he looked with his wet hair, the way water ran down his smooth body, and the way Draco's eyes fell upon Potter's muscles tracing the water.

Potter pushed Draco against the tiled wall turning his face to the side. Draco panted severely as Potter pushed his finger in, one after the other. Soon after, Potter was on his knees, tongue pushing in where his fingers had been and the water freely poured itself on them.

Draco wanted it all-he still loved it when Potter fucked him like that.

It wasn't long after, that Potter was inside Draco. He'd been stretched open with his fingers then his tongue and Draco couldn't wait for Potter to push his cock inside him. Potter bit Draco's neck then sucked hard on his pale skin; he knew how much Potter loved marking his territory. Draco was his and he belonged only to Draco.

Draco loved the bruises too, he knew Potter loved watching him charm them away only to threaten that next time they would be so severe that magic wouldn't work. Draco would tease Potter and it only encouraged Potter to be harsher, more severe the next time.

Potter secured his arm around Draco's waist and held him tight pressing him against the wall; he continued to thrust into him.

Draco moaned as his fingers dug into Potter's thigh. Potter reached for Draco's cock—holding it in his hand for a moment. "Potter, please…" Draco struggled, pleaded and Potter squeezed him lightly, his hand stroking him slowly. It didn't take Draco long to splatter against the tile in front of him with Potter watching, whispering into Draco's ear.

Draco loved when Potter moaned into Draco's ear, calling his name as he continued pounding into him. He was close, Draco could tell, but he was taking his time. Draco slumped against the wall and Potter picked up the pace. He gripped Draco's hips tight and continued with his thrusts freely. Moments later, Potter came undone, shooting hot and wet inside Draco. He sprawled against Draco's back as he held tight around Draco's waist. Draco leaned back and they kissed again. They stood quietly for a while, and Potter's cock eventually slipped out, the water washing away all evidence of their thousandth-off; it probably was more but they'd stopped counting.

Draco grabbed the soap and handed it to Potter. Now it was time for them to shower.


0-0-0


"So…it's been a year," Harry said.

"I know," Malfoy replied. "Happy birthday, Potter."

"I can't believe you still don't call me Harry."

"I call you Harry, sometimes."

"Yeah, usually when I'm sucking you off."

"You don't seem to mind," Malfoy said as he rolled over and kissed Harry's neck.

"I don't mind, I wouldn't mind if you called me that all the time."

Malfoy shrugged.

"Also, I hate it when you shrug like that," Harry added.

"So what, you're done?" Malfoy asked. His voice struggled to be nonchalant but Harry could read him so easily now, he didn't even have to try.

"Don't be stupid, Draco."

"Your friends will be here soon," Malfoy said. "I should head back."

"Why don't you stay?" Harry asked.

"For the party?" Malfoy asked in return.

"For another thousand shags," Harry replied.


The End


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