A/N: I'm new to this fandom and excited (and a little nervous) to be writing these two wonderful characters for the first time. Any feedback or criticisms that you have are very welcome. In my mind this story is multiple scenes from Myka's battle with cancer that explore how her relationship with Helena evolves over that time. Let me know if you are interested in reading more. Hope you enjoy.

The first thing that Myka hears when she wakes from surgery is the sound of someone crying.

"Bad then?" she croaks out in a voice that sounds foreign to her ears.

The hand holding hers tightens in surprise, and the voice that responds isn't Pete's, as she had been expecting. "Oh no, Myka."

"Helena?"

"I'm here." Myka can feel Helena lean in closer, and even through the haze of anesthesia Myka's body tingles in the same way it always does at Helena's presence.

Myka forces her eyes open with difficulty, and she is rewarded with the sight of Helena's face inches from hers. "You're really here."

"Of course I'm here. I would have come earlier if I had known."

"How did you find out?"

"Pete phoned me." Helena reaches out her free hand to touch Myka's cheek. "I wish I had come sooner."

"You're here now."

Helena hears the unasked question. "And I'm staying."

"But Nate, Adelaide."

Helena simply shakes her head to silence Myka. "I'm staying," she repeats with a squeeze of Myka's hand.

Myka watches as a few more tears fall from Helena's eyes.

"Is it bad Helena? Did they say?"

Helena takes a deep breath. "It's stage II, which is good news Myka. They rarely catch ovarian cancer this early, so it's very good news." Helena tries to convince herself of this, but the word good feels like it has no place in this conversation. "They needed to perform a hysterectomy."

Myka feels tears rush to her eyes. She knew with almost complete certainty that she would wake up from surgery without ovaries or a uterus, but still this hurts more than she can find the words to express.

"I'm sorry," Helena whispers when she sees Myka's face crumble.

Myka never wanted children, but she knows after watching Helena with Adelaide that Helena is meant to be a mother. This of course is irrelevant, Myka reminds herself. Whatever has passed between Myka and Helena, the notion of having children together certainly has never been part of their relationship. And yet the thought remains as Myka looks into Helena's sad eyes.

"Ok," Myka says, clearing her throat. "Stage II. That has a 60% 5-year survival rate." She can rattle off the statistics that she's researched with ease, the numbers that she has stared at constantly since the doctor first said the word cancer. "Ok," she repeats. "It will probably be 3 or 4 rounds of chemo and maybe radiation. Ok, I can do this."

Helena can't stop the tears from falling as she watches Myka try so hard to be brave. "You can do this Myka. You are the strongest person I know."

Those words and the sincerity in Helena's eyes are what does it. The tears come hard and fast until Myka is sobbing. Her abdomen burns with each sob, and it only makes her cry harder.

Helena stands from the chair she has been sitting in since Myka was wheeled out of surgery and lies down in the small empty space on the hospital bed. As gently as possible Helena wraps her arms around Myka and feels the woman melt into her touch.

Myka buries her face in Helena's neck, crying and crying for what she's lost and what she's about to lose. And Helena, beautiful Helena who has known far too much pain and loss, simply holds Myka and lets her cry.

Myka cries until the tears don't come anymore, and Helena holds her still.

"You can do this," Helena whispers once Myka has stilled in her arms. "You will fight like hell."

Myka has told Pete over and over again that everything will be fine, that she just needs to see the doctor and take care of it. But now, she finds herself on what feels like the beginning of an impossibly long path. "40% of people with this die in 5 years Helena."

"You will fight Myka," Helena says again, because she does not make false promises, not when she knows the devastation this world can bring to those who least deserve it.

"And I will be right here with you." Helena knows that Myka deserves so much more, deserves someone capable of protecting the people that she loves, someone capable of not hurting everyone that she holds dear.

"Helena, no. You shouldn't do that."

Helena looks at Myka's face, at her pain at saying those words, at trying to be selfless and push Helena away for her own good.

"I want to be here," Helena reassures Myka. "I'm staying."

"I might die Helena!" The words slip from Myka's lips in desperation. Helena shouldn't have to watch someone else she cares for die. Myka knows that Helena would be devastated, and Myka has seen Helena devastated and hopeless and about to destroy the world in her pain and grief. And Myka cannot do that to Helena again. She can't.

"And if you do then I want to have spent every moment with you that I could! I want you never to have to be alone!" Helena takes a breath and calms herself. "You aren't going to be alone."

They stare at each other, so very afraid of hurting each other, of breaking each other. But they need each other desperately, don't know how to go on now without the other, suddenly can't see anyway to move forward from this hospital bed without the other.

Myka relents, and hates herself a bit for doing so, because it feels selfish and weak, but she needs Helena now more than she has ever needed anyone. She nods, and Helena understands, settles back against the pillow on the stiff hospital bed. "Thank you," Myka breathes.

Helena shakes her head and smiles as best she can. "Thank you."