"Sensei, do we really have to go on such a boring mission?" Momoko Himura complained, flopping down onto the lush green grass.

"You should be grateful for the exercise, Momo!" Yori laughed, sitting down next to his raven-haired teammate.

"That's enough out of both of you. Border patrol is an important part of protecting the village," Makoto hummed, eyes closed. She wore the traditional sky blue Takigakure flak jacket.

"Oh come on Makoto Sensei! I really don't want to go on another mission held back by her, " Yori droned.

"Hi guys, did I miss anything?" Momoko and Yuri groaned, looking over at their plum-haired companion.

Ume Tamaishi was undeniably the most oblivious kunoichi in all of Takigakure.

"Yes, you did Ume. We are going on border patrol today, especially around the northern quadrant. Suspicious men have been reported snooping around that area," Mokoto stood, turning to face the rising sun.

"Alright, team, let's move out!"

"Kakuzu, remind me why exactly we're here again?" Hidan drawled, walking a few paces behind his partner.

"We're after a kunoichi named Ume Tamaishi. Leader wants us to retrieve her in one piece," Kakuzu emphasized the last words by glaring back at his partner.

"Yeah, but why?"

"The Tamaishi clan has a unique kekkei genkai that appears once in a generation. It's known as Hagane Kawa. Steel skin. Apparently Leader thinks that it might be useful in the future,"

"Old man, you're from the Hidden Waterfall Village too, right?"

"Yes. Why?" Kakuzu's voice lowered to a growl.

"Just wondering if you banged her great-great grandmother or something. Might be why Leader sent us on this mission instead of Zetsu or Itachi and Kisa-" Kakuzu's fist connected with Hidan's jaw sharply, sending the younger immortal flying into a tree.

"Let's continue this conversation never," Kakuzu growled, turning back to the road.

"So, strange men spotted at the north border. Any... meaningful description of them at all?" Momoko questioned as they hopped from tree branch to tree branch.

"Well, they're wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. That's all we've got to go on," Makoto replied thoughtfully.

"They're probably just tourists. I'm sure they don't pose any threat!" Ume added cheerfully.

Completely oblivious to the fact that her teammates were no longer behind her, she hopped forward onto another branch before hearing a whistling sound. She turned around to see a strange, red, triple bladed scythe on a rope headed straight for her. She raised her arms to block the coming blades.

The largest blade met her skin and bounced off with a spark.

"Well, I see that the 'steel skin' moniker isn't that far off,"

Confused, Ume looked down at the source of the voice. A rather attractive man with slicked back silver hair and magenta eyes stared up at her, wearing a black cloak with red clouds unzipped down to his ribs. Something grabbed her ankle and pulled her off of her roost, slamming her into the ground.

"Ume!" Yori shouted.

"Hmm," Kakuzu hummed thoughtfully, watching the Tamaishi girl sit up from the sizable crater. His hand zipped back into place, black threads stitching to his arm.

"Hidan, kill the others. They're of no use to us," Kakuzu called to his partner.

"No you don't you bastard!" Kakuzu barely had time to harden his arm and block the incoming blow. He caught Ume's fist, feeling a powerful shockwave travel up his arm.

Ume glared up at the strange man, white-blue eyes blazing and curly purple hair flying out behind her. She threw another punch at him, and he caught it with his other fist. Kakuzu head-butted her with his forehead protector, causing a dull metallic sound. The attack stunned her for a split second, before she retaliated with a vicious headbutt of her own, knocking him away.

"Brat!" Kakuzu reached up to feel his forehead protector. It was dented. Growling, he ripped his head cover off.

Ume didn't know what she expected him to look like. But she certainly didn't expect him to be handsome save for the stitches extending from his mouth, ending somewhere concealed by thick dark brown bangs. His green and red eyes glared at her white-blue ones. If she wanted a fight, she would get one. He unzipped his cloak and threw it to the side, revealing even more stitches along his arms and a black tank top.

"Hidan, leave the Tamaishi brat to me. You can take care of the others," Kakuzu cracked his knuckles.

"Huh, fancy that, fighting someone without a bounty on their heads. Sure, old man! Just remember that we need her alive," Hidan yelled at his partner.

Kakuzu charged Ume at an incredible speed. She didn't have time to react as he elbowed her in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her flying into a tree. Ume tried to stand, but Kakuzu kneed her in the back, crushing her into the ground. He stood up and kicked her in the side hard enough to roll her over. He stood over her, arm raised to deliver another blow.

"No! Please, stop!" Ume raised her hand in front of her to ward off the oncoming blow, staring at the monster of a man before her in fear. Her vision was starting to fade; she could feel blood pooling in her mouth.

Kakuzu stared at her. Her expression jogged a memory he thought he had forgotten.

"Kakuzu! Help!" Haruto Tamaishi yelped. Kakuzu could only watch as his teammate and closest friend was crushed by a wooden vise.

"Haruto!"

"AAAAGGH!"

A sickening squelch was all that was heard as blood geysered out of Haruto's mouth.

He shook his head, snapping back to the present. The brat had passed out. A glance told him that Hidan was still busy with the last gennin of the squad. Kakuzu sighed and knelt beside the unconscious girl. He placed his hand on her stomach, over her teal half shirt and the fishnet underneath. He used his chakra to search her body for any internal damage. He found nothing that wouldn't heal on its own. He left the unconscious ninja to her own devices as he retrieved his cloak and mask. With a display of strength, he manged to pop the dent out of his forehead protector, returning it to its original state. Once he was dressed in his concealing outerwear again, he trudged back to the Tamaishi brat and hauled her over his shoulder. He was joined by a freshly revived Hidan, and they began the journey back to the hideout.

AN: I have no business starting a new story. BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY!