An angel in a trench coat sat in the woods alone, his head in his hands. He liked going to remote spots like that when he needed to think. Whether he be thinking about something happy or sad, he would always sit alone with his thoughts. In this case, it was something that was both sad and confusing. That particular day, Castiel sat alone thinking about a subject that many angels had brought up to him. Now that Heaven was in shambles, he decided to finally think about what they had said. Perhaps he could piece his home back together if he took their advice seriously.

"That's always been your problem, Castiel," he remembered them saying, "You've always had too much heart."

What did they mean by that? Castiel wondered, but he knew exactly what they meant. They were obviously talking about the Winchesters, Dean in particular.

Castiel remembered what had been said about his relationship with Dean... He believed that Hester was the one to have said it. "When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" she had yelled. She was the only one who straight out said it, but Castiel knew that others thought it. Maybe it was necessary to listen to them, despite how much the angel wished to do otherwise. It was the only way to save his home and family.

But Sam and Dean were his family... He shook off the thought. Saving Heaven was a top priority, as much as he wanted it to be otherwise. His love for the Winchesters, for Dean, was making him too human. If this progressed, what would he become? He hated the situation, but it couldn't be helped. Castiel knew exactly what he had to do.

When Dean walked into the motel while Sam was in the shower and put down the fast food he had just picked up, he expected nothing but steam and the sound of running water. He did not, however, expect the solemn face of his angel friend standing in the middle of the room.

"Oh, hey Cas," Dean said, setting the food down on the table. "What are you doin' here?"

Castiel stared at Dean sadly, studying every aspect of the man's well-shaped face. He didn't want to forget that face, he wanted it to stick with him forever. "Dean..." he said, trying to figure out what to say next.

Dean dropped his nonchalant look and adopted a face of worry. "Cas, what's wrong?" He took a step closer, but Castiel only stepped back an equal distance as he looked at the motel room's carpeted floor.

"Dean..." he started again, "I'm sorry. I have to leave."

Dean looked confused. "Well, yeah. I mean, you never stay for long..."

"No, Dean. I mean for good." Before Dean could question him, Castiel continued. "I need to fix Heaven. And I can't do that with my feelings in the way. The only way I can get around these feelings is to leave the source. Meaning, I can never come back to you two again. Please understand..."

Dean interrupted before the angel could continue. "What the hell are you talking about? We can help you!"

"No, you can't. There's nothing you can do..."

"We can try! C'mon Cas, I've lost you before and I'm not gonna let it happen again. We're family!"

Castiel flinched slightly at the mention of family. That was the reason he was having this problem in the first place; the decision between his family in Heaven and his family on Earth. He had to choose. He was beginning to regret choosing the family above, but it was too late to turn back this time.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

He was gone.

Dean looked around for a moment, processing what happened, then cursed loudly and flung him self onto his bed. Soon after, Sam walked into the room, his hair still slightly damp. He walked in, noticed Dean, looked around the room, then looked back to his brother.

"So... What's up?"

Dean explained the situation over the burger and salad he had picked up. He wasn't sure whether to be angry, upset, or confused, and in the end, he was a big mess of all three. When he finished, Sam took one last bite of his salad and set down his fork.

"C'mon, Cas does this stuff all the time, right? He'll be back," he said, trying his best not to sound worried.

Dean sighed and threw down the wrapper from his burger. "Yeah, I guess."

So they waited.

But Castiel never came.

Months passed. Dean prayed every night. He made phone calls, checked every news channel, hoping maybe he could just find one little hint. Nothing.

After almost a year of roaming around from job to job, keeping an eye out for Cas, Dean was beginning to lose hope. Sam tried his best to help, but both boys were totally clueless.

"Where's the next job?" Dean asked from behind the wheel of the Impala.

"Small town in Minnesota. Some weird stuff near a lake. Disappearing figure that just kind of sits there the blips out. Could be something. It's pretty nearby, so we might as well check it out."

"Gotcha."

So they drove, not even mentioning the touchy subject of the angel who abandoned them.

Castiel sat by the small lake, watching his reflection in the water. He stayed there every day, trying to think of a way to fix Heaven and a way to stop thinking about Sam and Dean. He would stay there until late in the evening, when he would go back to the small motel near the body of water. Not that he really needed sleep or anything, but he didn't want to raise suspicion by staying there all day and night. However, he would end up raising suspicions of those nearby anyway, what with his sudden disappearing and reappearing. He didn't really care, though. He continued this cycle for quite a long time. He began to lose count of the days. He liked the area, and wouldn't move other than switching to another nearby motel.

Soon enough, the Winchester brothers found themselves at a motel near a small lake in Minnesota. After checking in and leaving their bags in the room, they quickly made up a plan.

"I'll go talk to people staying around here, you go check out the lake?" Sam suggested. Dean agreed to the arrangement and set off into the woods toward the lake.

By the time Dean arrived, the sun was setting. The slightly dimmed sun reflected off the water, making it easy for Dean to see the silhouette of a man in a trench coat. His heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened. Dean slowly and silently made his way to the man. When he was close enough, he gripped his shoulder and quickly turned him around.

Sure enough, it was Cas, his perpetually worried face morphed into a slightly surprised one. "Dean..." he trailed off, not sure what to say.

Before he could think of his next words, Dean pulled him into a tight hug, then quickly released him. "I knew you were out there somewhere."

Castiel gulped and shook his head slightly. "Dean, no, I can't..." He began to walk away, but his arm was soon caught in Dean's grip. He paused, looking down at the ground. "Let me go."

"No. I just found you, I'm not letting you get away again."

There was another moment of silence before Castiel pulled his arm away from Dean and walked briskly to the motel he was staying in.

"Cas?" Dean said. "Cas!" Dean followed Castiel all the way to the motel. "C'mon, Cas, this is ridiculous!"

When they arrived at Castiel's room, the angel attempted to slam the door on Dean, but was blocked by the man's foot. Cas let go of the knob in exasperation and walked over to the far wall of the room as Dean let himself in, closing the door behind him.

Castiel turned to Dean. "You shouldn't be here... We can't be together."

"Yeah, and why not?" Dean asked angrily, taking a step closer to the angel.

"Because you make me weaker." He looked down at the floor for a moment, a strange discomfort forming in his stomach, then looked back at Dean. "I become too human when I'm with you."

"Cas," Dean said, authority in his voice, as he took another step closer. "I need you."

Castiel looked down, the pain in his stomach worsening. He turned around to face the wall, not wanting the squeezing pain in his gut to be noticed. He figured that would only make it worse for both of them. "Regardless," he said, masking the pain, "we can't. It's just not meant to be."

Dean took another step forward. "When have we ever done what was actually meant to be, huh?"

Castiel turned around to see Dean's determined eyes inches away from his own worried ones. They paused for a moment, staring into each other, each trying to read the eyes in front of them. As green and blue met, Castiel's eyes flicked down slightly. He noticed the man's perfectly shaped lips before they crashed into his own, the force pushing him against the wall. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck as he was hoisted up and carried over to the nearby bed. Dean dropped down on the mattress, still holding the angel in his arms, staying on top of him like a cage.

They kissed feverishly and desperately, their fingers in each others' short hair, as they ripped through their clothes, not wanting to separate. Shivers went down Castiel's spine as he felt Dean's bare chest against his own. Cas' hand gripped Dean's arm, on which there was still a perfect hand print from their first encounter. Dean continued pulling off Castiel's clothing until the clothes were finally gone, then reached a hand down and grabbed the angel's member. Castiel's breath hitched slightly, causing Dean to smirk onto his partner's lips.

Slowly, Dean began moving his hand along the shaft, Castiel's breathing getting heavier as he dug his fingernails into the human's back. Cas reached down with his own hand and began to mimic the movements on Dean, causing the man to gasp slightly. As Dean began to pick up speed, Castiel did the same, both following the same rhythm, their lips still together.

Dean bit the angel's lip as they both got closer to their climaxes. When Cas was almost there, panting feverishly and letting a few small moans escape, Dean suddenly stopped. Castiel panted and did the same, disappointed and confused. Soon enough, however, he understood.

Dean separated his lips from his partners and began to kiss gently down his body, stopping here and there to suck on the sensitive skin. Slowly, he made his way down the angel's body, sliding half of his body off the bed, now kneeling on the floor. As he made his way closer to his final destination, Cas shivered with lustful anticipation. When Dean made it to the throbbing member he licked his lips, looking up at Castiel's blue eyes. He then began to kiss down the shaft, sending more shivers down the angel's spine. When he reached the head, he swirled his tongue around it, making Cas squirm and breathe even more heavily than before. His back arched slightly as he moaned in pleasure, Dean licking up and down the angel's shaft. As Castiel entered Dean's mouth, the latter reached down and grabbed his own member to finish what had been started earlier. As he jerked and sucked, he moaned into Castiel, causing the angel to do the same, both of them shaking in pure lust. Cas' breathing got heavier, as did Dean's, until the angel arched his back and let out a small scream of pleasure, releasing his warm seed into Dean's mouth. Dean was about to follow suit, but Castiel reached down and stopped Dean's hand.

Dean looked up at Cas, whose eyes were glazed with lust. Before Dean could do anything, Castiel sat up and reached down to grab Dean by the shoulders, pulling him up onto the bed. Cas flipped the two of them over, now on top of Dean and straddling his hips with his knees. They kissed feverishly once more, tongues wrestling for dominance, until Cas pulled away and mimicked what Dean had done before. He kissed down his partner's body until he reached the final destination. He gently kissed and licked the shaft, just barely touching it, causing Dean to moan and squirm slightly. When he reached the head, Cas placed a small kiss on the very tip. The teasing was too much for Dean, who quickly began to thrust into Castiel's mouth, the angel quickly obliging to his wishes. Dean thrust harder and faster until he finally let out one last deep moan, back arching as he released into the angel, who eagerly drank up the warm seed.

Dean collapsed into the bed, Cas crawling up next to him. They both panted with their eyes shut as they held each other tightly, not wanting to let go until morning.

"You won't be leaving now, will you?" Dean said softly with a smirk.

Castiel sighed slightly, in both exhaustion and relief. "No."