Chapter 1 - Old Friends


Hello good audience. By reading this fanfic, I assume you have played Conker's Bad Fur Day, and most likely by now, have beaten it. So Conker's king now, right? "Who would've thought that?" Certainly not Conker. But things come and go; the depression that fell upon Conker had drifted away, and he had started living life now. A king's suppose to have it all, right?

Even in Conker's heart, his memories of Berri had gone dusty, and she now only exists in photo albums, and the nights were Conker couldn't sleep; Berri didn't even show up (as often) in dreams anymore, and Conker hadn't noticed. No, he isn't pushing his past away from himself; he admits to everything that has happened, so don't call him cold-hearted, dear reader; after all, it's been 10 years.

Conker here, sees that we should just move on (although he might not have shown it during the ending sequence). If he follows that point of view, then he is now the happiest person in the world. Who knows if he does? Even I, the author, can't tell you; these characters have a life of their own, I'm just here to tell the tale.

Anyways, let's get back to the story.

As Conker looked out the window, he sighed with boredom.

Conker - Of all the days to rain...

The rain, which started in the morning, had cancelled all of Conker's plans for the day. It was night now, and it hadn't even stopped once!

Behind him, the Skinny Guard and Fat Guard, two weasels were playing Big 2, a card game that most squirrels didn't know about.

Fat Guard - HA! I win again!

Skinny - You cheated!

Yes, Fat Guard (and since we don't know his real name, we'll just refer to him as that, ok?) did cheat. But knowing Skinny Guard's intelligence (you'd think he'd learn after 10 years), he would always get away with it.

Skinny Guard - Ok, fine. Just deal the next hand.

*BAM*

The throne room's doors were pushed open; can't actually knock them down since they're really big. It was Rodent, Conker's left hand in the army.

Rodent - Uhm, excuse me Conker, but there's something I have to tell you.

Conker instantly recognized the squeaky voice. The same old squeaky voice he heard when he went to war with that squirrel.

Conker - Hey Rodent! How's it hangin'? Haven't seen you in quite a while. You up for golf Saturday?

Rodent - Yeah! Of cours--I mean, I don't think there's enough time for golf.

Conker - Oh? Is something up with the army?

Conker left the window and walked up to Rodent, who was wearing the standard General attire; dark green clothes, a camouflaged helmet, and some nice dark boots. Surprisngly, Rodent wasn't a half bad General, he even went to war with his soldiers, not staying back like a big wig pen-pusher a certain Sarge had said.

Rodent - No, nothing wrong with the army, but we found something real bad.

Rodent's tone was getting squeakier by the moment, but Conker didn't mind. Squeaky. What an amusing word, Conker thought...

Conker - Well, are you going to tell me?

Rodent - Right... uhm, well, we found Tediz.

Conker - Tediz?! Oh no... I felt for sure we got every single one of them in that war 10 years ago!

Rodent - Uhm, I thought so too.

Conker - Where'd they come from? What are they doing right now?

Rodent - We don't know where they came from. Uhm, squirrels from the islands found them on the beaches, and reported to us. We took care of it, all Tediz are now in our custody sir! But, they don't seem to be themselves, they said they don't remember anything or how they got to the islands.

Conker turned his back to Rodent. Survivors, he thought, there's always survivors. His curiousity got the best of him, and he instructed Rodent to feed the Tediz and that he'll go see them tomorrow; not after telling him that they'll be going for golf Saturday.

The king was looking forward to it, it was always nice to get out of the castle. He walked out of the throne, and the two guards didn't notice. He can fire them, they never do their job, but Conker couldn't care less. What was there for them to do?

Ever since the Tediz were destroyed, or so they thought, it's been pretty peaceful around here. Conker went to sleep without any thoughts disturbing him. Let us not disturb him either, and slowly go out the window.

Ah, what a beautiful night. Seems like the rain was mischievously playing with Conker, since it had stopped as soon as Conker closed his eyes. Above us, the stars shone brightly, and it was probably more splendid on the ocean, in which the reflection made it all more brilliant.

How calm the beach is now. Who would know that Conker's great, great, great, great, grandson would be running for his life from the Tediz on the exact same beach? Certainly not Conker, otherwise he would have made the order to slaughter all the Tediz being held captive right now. But he didn't, and that mistake is pretty damn big one.

Yawning aren't you? Yeah, it is a bit late. We should rest. Let's float higher, to the clouds, not before taking the marvellous view of the land (we'll go down and visit first thing tomorrow morning). Ah over there! That looks like a nice cloud to lie on.
Now close your eyes, and sweet dreams.

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There ya go, the beginning of another. I hope I haven't sounded like a major hypocrite, but I think this chapter is a nice length. Oh yeah, and before you start saying that there's no plot, take time to recognize other author's like Stephen King, then you'll know what I'm doing. Here's one secret about a good fanfic, it's all about characters, and how lively you can make them. Anyways, cya in chapter 2.