Snape X Hermione

Hey, first time writing a fanfiction. It'd be great to hear reviews and messages and stuff. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it! Cheers! :) Italics are thoughts/dreams/flashbacks. Please review! :D Sorry for the long wait and thanks for the reviews and follows! Motivates me to write and such. I disclaim to be a British woman whose name is J. , therefore I don't own the Harry Potter characters, etc.

Okay in the future chapters things get dark and naughty; reason why this story is under 'M'. Furthermore some aspects about this story is different to the story; major thing: GRADE 1= 13 years old, GRADE 2= 14 years old GRADE 3: 15 years old GRADE 4: 16 years old GRADE 5: 17 years old GRADE 6: 18 years old! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS!

Chapter 1: Regret and Bitterness

A dark figure lifelessly crouched in the corner of Dumbledore's office. He could hear the clock ticking away but the time, no; the universe has stopped in his mind. There was a click at the door as Albus Dumbledore entered his office and at once the man crouching looked up at him.

"Severus," Albus whispered the man's name.

"Albus, you promised that you'd protect Lily Evans," he snarled as he grabbed Dumbledore's collar.

Dumbledore stared into Snape's eyes with pity, guilt, and deep sorrow. Snape was gritting his teeth and he could feel tears stinging his eyes again. Dumbledore knew nothing could help Snape at the moment and possibly in the future. Albus sighed and firmly gripped on Snape's shoulder as he apologized.

"I'm so sorry…,"Albus whispered his apology.

"James Potter confided his secret to the wrong person," explained Dumbledore.

James, I always hated him. How could he tell the hideout to anyone that blasted fool! Snape couldn't help these thoughts; he detested him more than ever for telling anyone about the hideout. Snape knew that it would be so much easier to blame everything on James Potter but he knew deep down that it was entirely his fault. It was his fault for telling the Dark Lord of the prophecy that endangered Lily. He hated himself more than ever. There were so many things he regretted, hated, and feel bitterness towards. He hated himself for his foolish decisions and actions. Snape collapsed back onto the floor and as he began to weep, he dug his nails into the Death Eater mark. He felt the blood oozing out but he felt no pain but raw anger.

"Stop that you fool, that won't help anything. Instead, help me protect Lily's son," suggested Dumbledore.

Snape stopped and looked up at the old wizard. "The boy?" he whispered.

"Yes, I want you to help me protect Harry Potter." Dumbledore solemnly looked down on Severus.

"He needs no protection, the Dark Lord is gone."

"No, Voldemort will return and when does, Harry will be in grave danger."

"And why should I protect the boy?" demanded Snape.

Albus sat directly in front of the younger wizard to meet Snape's eyes. "You know how Lily died, she died protecting her son. Don't let her death be in vain if you truly loved her."

Snape clenched his hands into fists and said, "No one… can know."

"That I shall never reveal the best of you, Severus?" asked Albus.

Snape got up exhausted to leave and headed for the door. As he was opening the door he heard Albus say, "He's got her eyes." That comment made him stop for a moment before he continued to leave Hogwarts.

Lily I will protect your son even if it costs my life….

After Snape left Dumbledore's office, he was greeted by the fresh, crisp night's air. The full moon illuminated the starry sky. Snape gazed at the moon for a while as the wind pushed his hair out his eyes. Normally he would enjoy such a night but tonight he felt fatigued and his heart-felt too heavy. It was as if his heart was chained with several locks latched on the thick chain. He remained rooted on the spot a while longer before he apparated back home.

*pop*

Snape apparated in front of his house.

"I'm home," he announced to the darkness and the emptiness of his house. He threw his cloak to the chair just before he collapsed on the dusty sofa. His eyes closed immediately his back landed onto the furniture. He welcomed sleep because it has been years since he has able fall into the deep slumber.

"Sev, come on!" shouted the enthusiastic, young, little girl.

"Quit running off like that!" demanded a young boy clad in black sweater and baggy jeans.

They were on a hill and it was an autumnal afternoon. The red, yellow, and orange leaves were dancing in the gentle breeze. Young Lily Evans grabbed Severus's hand while running. She kept giggling while Severus huffed.

"What are you so excited about, it's just another afternoon," said Severus.

"But it's so beautiful, the weather, the scenery, everything. I like it," explained Lily while grinning.

Severus snorted and sat down on the grass where he leaned on the dead Oak tree. He enjoyed relaxing out here on the meadow since he never got to be at peace at the wretched place called 'home'. His drunk-assed muggle father would only scream at him for being a wizard. On the other hand his witch mother did nothing to defend him, instead she's become quiet, sullen, like a lifeless shell. It was painful to watch his mother. His only option was to escape from the place; he would come here. This place was very special to him because this was where he first met Lily along with her stupid, talentless muggle sister. Ever since then the gleeful, bright, young witch greeted him. They became friends and Lily was his first friend. She told him before how she liked him because she could relate with him. Other children were afraid of her for being 'different'. They could sense it. Lily was loud, talkative and energetic and Severus thought he would dislike her for being nosy and annoyingly loud. Surprisingly he liked her company and he didn't find her annoying instead he found her fascinating and she had a special aura that made her warm and bright like the sun. Severus enjoyed watching her run around, dance, what not. Lily braided a flower band and put it on Severus's head. He glared up at her but she smiled. He shook it off his head and she sat next to Severus. He ended up crossing his arm and closing his eyes.

"Sev?" called out Lily.

"Yeah?" he softly replied.

"It's real right?" asked Lily.

He opened his eyes and sat up properly as he asked, "You mean Hogwarts?"

They had both gotten a letter a week ago from the magical school of wizardry.

"Yeah, Petunia says you're lying about it," whispered Lily.

What did that snobby, good for nothing muggle know, thought Severus.

"It's real for us but not for her because she's a muggle," answered Severus.

Lily smiled, "Severus, we'll be friends even there right?"

Severus felt the corner of his mouth twitch for a moment, "Of course we will."

He stared into her light, hazels eyes and he felt his cheeks redden from what he just said and for staring at her too long, so he looked away at the other direction. Silence loomed over them until someone shouted, "Lily, you freak come back here!" Severus turned his head back to watch Lily's idiotic muggle sister running over. For a moment he noticed Lily's eyes droop down and her smile fade. He glared at the running muggle. At once, the dead Oak tree's root came up slightly and Petunia came crashing down as she hit her forehead on the ground.

"Ouch! Damn it, what the bloody hell was that!" screeched the angry Petunia.

Lily turned her head and stared at Severus. He gave her a small, instantaneous smile.

"Thanks Sev." She smiled back and gave him a sudden hug and he froze up by the sudden action. Lily waved bye and ran off home. He watched her leave while hearing the furious muggle shout something at him. He didn't hear or care to know what the muggle say but he simply menacingly scowled at the muggle.

Snape woke up from the dream with a mild headache. He didn't see a shred of light entering through his window. He groaned from the headache. It was only 5AM and his muscles has cramped up from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. He stretched and heard lots of cracks. He had no appetite but he did need his black coffee to stay awake. He had learnt how to brew his own coffee because he lived among muggles. He originally disliked the foreign liquid but over time he learned to enjoy the substance. He felt his mild headache ebb away but the pain from his chest had not faded. He shockingly managed to sleep peacefully which had been ages. He glanced outside and decided to leave his house since if he stayed indoors, he would be more miserable. Snape grabbed his cloak and went outside.

The morning was cool, crisp, and dark, with dark rain clouds looming over the sky. Yet no droplets fell from those ominous clouds. The weather seemed to be representing his heart.

I should go visit Lily.

He walked to a forest where he could pick wild flowers for Lily's grave. He liked the forest. This morning the forest was covered in thick layers of fog and mist. He entered the dense fog and allowed it to engulf him like a blanket. He walked deeper into the wood until he stopped in front of the meadow which he hadn't visited for so many years. He saw the patches of wild lilies. He recalled the dream from last night.

You made that silly with these flowers didn't you...

He gently plucked the flowers and caressed the flowers to his chest. There was a low rumble from the sky. A drop of rain fell from the sky and landed on his cheek near his eyes. It slowly rolled down like tear drop as more raindrops continued to descend. Soon it was pour down feverishly. It felt good to have rain pour over him. It cooled his skin and he welcomed the rain to soak him.

I should get going.

He rose from the spot and Snape apparated to Godric's Hollow. Snape felt nauseous from apparating but he ignored the sensation. He needed to get to the cemetery but he had to pass Potter's residence. He truly didn't want to see that cursed place where he found his beloved Lily's corpse last evening. He knew Albus had the Order bury Lily and James. As he marched through Godric's Hollow, the Potter's house came to view.

Damn it, I need to pass that hateful place.

He clenched one of his hands into a fist. As he was walking, he felt his chest tighten and found breathing becoming harder. Waves of painful headaches came rushing back. He had to tightly seal the pain away. It should be easy, he was considered as one of the best Occlumens. Once he regained his composure he continued to the graveyard. He inhaled a deep breath as he saw Lily's grave.

The composure he just gained vanished. He felt his abdomen clenched and his legs gave out as he fell to his knees. He felt anger and shame. It was just like last night. He swore to himself as he threw the flowers to Lily's gravestone. He had to run his hand through his long, wet hair while he shut his eyes. Before he was aware of his action, hot tears were flooding down with the rain. His bit his mouth as not to make any pathetic sounds. Snape felt grateful it was raining since it hid his tears. He sat there exhausted.

"Lily, I'm so sorry about everything," he stood up. His tears had stopped abruptly as they came and he turned his back to whisper, "I'm going to be a professor at Hogwarts to protect your son. If the Dark Lord comes back to power, I'll be there to finish him," he vowed. Suddenly a phoenix came flying and it perched on his shoulder. He recognized Albus's messenger.

'Severus, come to Hogwarts so we can arrange your position here.'

He groaned at the thought of having to apparate again. He firmly shut his eyes before he felt the pressure of the trip. When he felt the ground beneath his feet, he leaned on the wall of Hogwarts for a moment. He allowed himself to rest for a minute before he walked through the gate.

Filch, a squib, came running down the staircase to see who passed the gate.

"It's just you Snape," commented Filch.

Snape casted him a cold look which made Filch shrink back.

"I'll go get Minerva," said the squib before he fled from the scene.

He simply walked up the stairs and glanced out the window. Minerva McGonagall came to greet him.

"Oh Severus, you're soaked from head to toe! You really should dry off," said Minerva in a concerned voice.

He remained passive as he said, "I was summoned by Albus, take me to him."

She gawked at him for a second, nobody has ever ignored what she said before. "Very well, come with me," ordered the offended witch. They both walked to a statue.

"Sherbet lemon."

The statue opened a pathway to Dumbledore's office. The old man sat on his chair while working through a pile of paperwork.

"Severus, you've come. Minerva you may go, thank you." smiled the old wizard. Minerva McGonagall gave a smile before she left.

"Now Severus, let's discuss about your new job here. I want you to be our Potion Professor."

Did he hear correctly, a potion professor? Him? He couldn't help but raise his eyebrow.

"You don't seem happy Severus," noted Albus.

"Of course I'm not. I'm more suited with Defence Against the Dark Arts. I've regrettably been a Death Eater since I graduated from Hogwarts," remarked Snape.

"Hmmm," Albus seemed to think of what Snape had to say, "It seems like you've noticed your talent with potions, Severus. You would make an amazing Potion Professor." Snape frowned bitterly as he knew the old man was determined to make him a Potion Professor.

"Furthermore, we've already acquired a staff for the Defence Against the Dark Arts. Her name is Professor Galatea Merrythought, a wonderful witch," said Albus.

"Fine," concluded Snape.

It's not like I want to be a Professor in the first place and none of the idiotic children would understand his knowledge on the dark arts or know how to protect themselves from it.

"Snape, where would you like to teach?" asked Dumbledore in order to get Snape in a better mood.

"The dungeon will do," said Snape.

"Very well, if that 's what you choose. Filch will show you your new room. Oh, I almost forgot, could you also be the Head of Slytherin?"

I owe him my service, but I swear that man needs to know his boundary.

"Fine," Snape said before leaving the office. The squib was there waiting for him. Due to their earlier, 'discussion' if one could call it a discussion, Filch didn't dare to look at Snape in the eyes.

He sneered and ordered the squib, "Show me my room."

He was taken to the dungeon which was going to be his future classroom. It was pleasantly dark and cool. Snape was lead into an office that was connected to the dungeon. There was a table and a large chair. There were several bookshelves by the wall; he liked that. Filch reached towards the bookshelf that was located in the corner of the room.

"That's the passage way, sir. You just need to apply a password so that students can't breech into your room," said Filch. With the explanation the squib excused himself as he left the dungeon.

Password, huh.

He gently touched the bookshelf. He slowly took out his wand and pointed at the bookshelf as he said, "lilium aeternum". The bookshelf opened to show a staircase. He went upstairs to see a spacious room. He realized that his room was a tower and there was a large window by his bed. It showed his favourite spot when he was a student at Hogwarts. Not a lot of peopel knew of this area and so he used to study and nap there. It was always quiet there, therefore he took naps there too by the tree. Next Snape noticed his belongings in the room and a black owl. He grimanced at the bird. He cautiously approached the bird.

I never owned an owl and I don't want to take care of a bloody, damn bird.The owl didn't look exactly happy either, it looked fierce. Beside the animal there was a small note: "Welcome to Hogwarts! From the staffs." He threw away the note. From the luggage, a small golden chain hung loosley and his heart stopped for a moment. He tugged out the chain that had a circular locket.

I thought I lost this long time ago...

He opened the locket that revieled a picture of when he was younger smiling with Lily. He shut the locket and put the locket into his inner pocket of his cloak. He began to organize his room. After he settled his belongings throughout the room, he saw another door. Out of curiousity he wondered about the corridor. He learnt that the staff lounge wasn't too far away from his room since other staffs' rooms were scattered around this part of the castle. Evening soon came and he finally relaxed in his bed as he drifted into sleep.