a/n:
AHAHAH AHAHAHAAAAAAA
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE AAHAHAAAAA WHATS UP GUYS
quarantine has me BORED so hi im back and i swear to god this is IT this chapter is IT after this NO MORE but not really keep reading
i honestly don't even know if a single person is here but let's find out lmaoo
ok so it's been five years. rereading this was painful and to be honest i didn't read most of it. i hate it guys, i hate it. how did you guys read any of this? the writing, garbage. the characters, garbage. the storyline, garbage. the "humor", garbage, and also borderline extremely problematic. you guys deserve better. YALL DESERVE BETTER
so what ive decided to do, is rewrite this story. YES U HEARD ME. but not here. on ao3 instead! so if yall are really interested my username is honeylune on there so if yall keep checkin up on me i should have something out in a couple weeks or so. if there's a demand i'll post it here, as well, but i'll likely be changing my username. but different plot. same hermione-is-in-1977 idea tho. and same ship.
this final chapter isn't really gonna conclude anything, just kind of a final hoorah for what started off my writing "career" before i call it quits for good and carry on this lovely storyline on another platform. i see the reviews that people have left and yall got me cackling. i would like to personally apologize to ShadowBlackLuma who has reportedly waited for five years. this ones for you sis.
i know what follows isn't exactly in line with how the characters have acted the past 22 chapters, but this is how i imagine them now and closer to how i'll be writing in my new story. so if you guys hate it, then i guess it's a good thing im discontinuing this particular story lol but if you guys don't hate it then i hope to see yall on my new story! i'm planning on calling it something like "some kind of beautiful" or something emo like that. i'll post an edit here when it's done.
anyways thanks for reading guys. i hope to see yall on the other side. of ao3. hope i can say other fanfic platforms on here otherwise oopths. and if you've been here since the beginning,,, i might cry. i cherished every comment even at the age of 13, yes im 20 now, and they still stick with me to this day. yall rock.
**even newer update 6-7-20
hello i lied its under this account too! ! hope yall enjoy bbs
…oOo…
Previous Chapter
Sirius grins down at Hermione, the height difference staggering. "We've got a Hogsmeade trip coming up this weekend, haven't we?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
Sirius strokes his chin thoughtfully. "Just how will we be able to force them to go out with each other?"
"When you put it that way it gives me second thoughts."
"Shush," Sirius said airily, placing an index finger on Hermione's lips. She glared down at it, pushing it away.
"Stop. What's the plan, then?"
"Well I was thinking-"
"No love potions."
"Besides that, I was wondering whether-"
"No hexes. Or curses. Or spells," Hermione insisted. Sirius huffed, a piece of hair flying up.
"You're the one who's so obsessed about getting them together. I'm just brainstorming."
"Well, Sherlock, in case you haven't noticed, all of those will land us in trouble and earn us a slap from Lily."
"Why do you guys just follow them around and stuff?" Peter suggested. Hermione and Sirius stopped their bickering to think, a grin soon spreading over Sirius' face.
"And that's why everyone needs a Watson every once in a while, Peter."
…oOo…
And so, Operation Get-James-and-Lily-Together was afoot.
As it currently stood, the plan was as follows: first, Hermione and Lily would head to Honeydukes. Sirius and James would then "run into them," and then Hermione and Sirius would get into a fight, leave to have their "fight" alone, and then, as Sirius put it, "watch the chemistry bloom."
Hermione has had better plans, she'll admit. But the argument was Sirius' idea, and he seemed keen on having an input to the plan.
Hermione wasn't sure what that said about Sirius, the fact that he was so eager to get into a fake argument with her. When Hermione asked him what he would be "arguing" with her about, he just grinned, so Hermione wasn't particularly excited to find out.
The day began smoothly enough. Hermione and Lily grabbed a quick butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks to warm up before heading off to Honeydukes, as per Lily's insistence. As the butter beer off-set the planned schedule, she and Lily actually bumped into James and Sirius at the entrance of Honeydukes.
"Hermione, what an absolute shock to see you here! This couldn't have happened if it were planned, yet here you are!" Sirius burst out as the four of them neared the entrance to the store.
"Pleasure to see you here too, Sirius," responded Hermione, forcing a smile. Oh, I'm going to really argue with him, later.
"Evans," James greeted, a glitter to his eyes, standing up quite straight. Even from a distance, Hermione had seen James straighten his posture as soon as Lily was in view.
"Great. How come every time I try to do something decent with the people I actually like, I run into the people I don't?" asked Lily, but the smile on her lips and the look in her eyes didn't lie.
"Fiery as always, Evans. Anyways, how about we carry this passive aggression inside where it's warm?" suggested James.
And in the store they went. Hermione, not the biggest fan of sweets, mostly followed around as James and Sirius led the girls towards their favorite selections.
"And here, Evans," James began, holding up two grey, near-identical looking Every-Flavor Beans, "we are presented with two options: coconut, or television remote. I don't know which one is which, you don't know which one is which. But I will give you the courtesy of picking which one to eat."
"Television remote? So it'd taste like plastic, then?" asked Lily with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't realize they named bean flavors after muggle items."
"Muggle item? Well, explains why I don't know it, then," Sirius commented, looking at the two beans. "Anyways, I'd reckon you pick the one on the left, Evans. I saw him smell them beforehand, he revolted at the one in his right."
"That is completely untrue," James said immediately, causing Lily to laugh. In turn, James smiled even wider than he was before, which was nice, and what Sirius and Hermione were trying to accomplish, but Hermione was suddenly fixated on the fact that Sirius didn't know what a television remote was.
"Sirius, what do you mean you don't know what a remote is?" asked Hermione, "We use one every time we watch a movie."
"Well, if I knew what a television remote was I probably wouldn't have gotten an P on my last quiz," Sirius replied, to which Hermione's eyes immediately bulged.
"What?! How on Earth did you get a P?" exclaimed Hermione.
"Well, you tell me Hermione. Why did I get a P? Maybe it's your teaching skills to blame," said Sirius.
"What?" repeated Hermione, and from the corner of her eye she noticed James and Lily looking at each other awkwardly. "Sirius Black. You know perfectly well that what you got on your quiz—which you didn't tell me about, mind you—was completely and entirely your own responsibility! Furthermore—"
Hermione's mouth was still open when it hit her. It hit her like a Nimbus 2001 ramming straight into the center of her forehead.
Oh, this little jerk.
Sirius seemed to understand that Hermione had just come to the realization herself, and his eyes gleamed with amusement. "You were saying?"
"Sirius, can we please carry on this conversation outside?" said Hermione in a controlled voice.
Hermione waved goodbye to Lily as she and him headed to the door, the look on Lily's face clearly stating you're leaving me with this twit? But she didn't look quite mad, no, she looked more nervous than anything (James looked absolutely ecstatic).
"Am I a good actor or what, Alden? I got you proper mad, didn't I?" Sirius laughed as soon as they left the store.
"You really couldn't have picked a less infuriating topic?" asked Hermione, but she couldn't deny it—Sirius had done a decent job.
"Well, I figured you were an awful liar, so I had to make it seem more real. It helps that I actually did get a P on my quiz, too."
"Are you-?!"
"Joking, joking! Blimey, you," Sirius laughed at Hermione's face, which she was sure was bright red from the cold and the fury still burning within her. "You need to calm down a bit before we start a real argument."
"You're unbelievable, Sirius. Let's just hide before they come out so we can follow them."
And so they hid. Not particularly well—they just found a bench a couple of storefronts down and took a seat. Onlookers looked at the pair of them as if they were mad as they walked by for sitting outside in this weather, but they needed to be in a spot where they could see them, but also where James and Lily wouldn't see them immediately upon leaving the store.
"You know, I still don't even really understand why we're following them," Sirius said, "We did our job. Besides, isn't it weird that we don't ever come back?"
"They like each other, Sirius. They'll be hoping we don't ever come back. And we need to follow them in case we need to drive other people off," insisted Hermione, breathing hot air into her gloves and pressing them to her cold cheeks.
"Why are you so insistent on them ending up together, anyways?" asked Sirius curiously, "You seem to be invested in their potential relationship."
"… I just want Lily to be happy. I don't want her to keep lying to herself," Hermione responded, figuring that was the best explanation.
"Yeah, I feel like that's a common theme with you two."
"What?"
"Look, they're coming out of the store," Sirius suddenly said, ignoring Hermione's question.
Hermione looked over, and James and Lily were indeed leaving the store. Lily looked around, likely looking for Hermione and Sirius, but luckily didn't spot them before James caught her attention, placing what looked to be a chocolate bar into her hands. Lily pushed it back at him, refusing, but James just placed it back into her hands, insisting.
"That's sweet of him, did he buy that for her?" Hermione smiled softly.
"He likely bought one too many and is giving her leftovers."
"Your unrelenting faith in them is inspiring, Sirius. Now, let's go, they're starting to walk."
Hermione and Sirius made sure to follow them from a distance away. With the vast number of students flooding the pathway and every storefront, Hermione wasn't worried about being spotted. Lily's bright hair made the pair easy to spot, even underneath her winter hat.
"Sirius, would you stop getting distracted?" asked Hermione tiredly as Sirius stopped to look into the windows of yet another store, "We're going to lose them if you keep stopping every ten seconds."
"Well, I just had to that time, Hermione! The pet shop had a new litter of kittens, I couldn't very well say no to those eyes," Sirius said, but following Hermione again. Hermione just rolled her eyes in response.
"It's nice to know how seriously you're taking this," said Hermione, making sure to keep her gaze on Lily. She and James were still walking together, talking, but it seemed that with every few meters or so they got just a tad bit closer.
"Oh, no, Hermione. I understand just how difficult it is to come across true love these days," said Sirius, "So I understand the severity of our mission."
Hermione scrunched up her eyebrows, looking at him confusingly. "Sirius, you have a girlfriend."
"Make that past tense, love," Sirius corrected, glancing down at Hermione for a small second before continuing his gaze forward.
"Oh," Hermione said with a soft voice. There was a feeling in her chest, a light feeling, perhaps a feeling of… joy? No, Hermione told herself instantly, I'm happy Lana got out of a relationship with this indignant roach. "I'm sorry to hear she broke up with you."
Sirius let out a stout laugh. "Broke up with me? As if anyone who has ever been in my presence could bear parting with me. No, it was definitely me doing the breaking of hearts."
"Glad to hear you were so emotionally invested in the relationship, Sirius," Hermione said with a tiny smirk. Suddenly, Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, his grin wiped from his face in such a fast manner that Hermione suddenly reconsidered everything she ever knew about Sirius.
"Hermione Alden," Sirius said, his voice flat.
"I—Goodness. I'm sorry, Sirius, I didn't mean to make light of your situa—" Hermione scrambled to find the right words for an apology, but Sirius went right ahead and cut her off.
"Hermione Alden. I ask you—and I cannot stress enough the significance of this question—I ask you, was that a smirk on your face that I just saw?" Sirius asked with that same, serious tone. He continued when Hermione just gaped at him.
"Because honestly, Hermione, I expect a lot of things from my great tutor and Professional Pain in the Arse but a smirk is not—hey, stop that!" Sirius finally broke character, laughing out loudly as Hermione reached out to smack him on the shoulder multiple times.
"You are not funny, Sirius Black!" Hermione huffed, accenting each word with a smack to his shoulder, but it was admittedly difficult to contain her own smile.
"Hey, I know you're right excited to get a feel of my spectacularly enormous shoulder muscles but that is no excuse to be hitting me, Miss Alden—"
"Stop it!"
"Alright, alright, now stop with your little mosquito bops, how 'bout it?" Sirius laughed, finally beginning to walk again. Hermione huffed out again shortly, rushing to match his pace before he got too far ahead.
"You scared me, Sirius, I thought I really offended you," said Hermione, looking down, still a bit flustered.
"Why, it's nice that you think you have the capability to make even a single dent in my unrelenting, well-deserved self-esteem."
"You really don't ever stop, do you?" asked Hermione, her tone exasperated, but with maybe the smallest of grins on her face. Sirius just looked down at her again, smiling a bit. Hermione suddenly realizes that she doesn't often see a smile like that from Sirius, not really. It's usually a sneer or smirk plastered onto his awfully good-looking face, but with a smile, Sirius' demeanor suddenly feels warm.
Kind of like the Sirius that Hermione had known back home.
"No, not at all," Sirius agreed, interjecting into Hermione's train of thought and suddenly pulling her back to present. There was a second of silence between the two of them before Sirius continued talking.
"Really, though. I wasn't much invested in the relationship," Sirius said, "Think I just wanted to feel wanted for a bit."
Hermione blinked in surprise. "… That's…" Hermione trailed off.
"Awful? Yeah, I'd bet I deserve that a bit," Sirius finished for her, "Bit selfish of me, yeah?"
"Actually, I was about to say that that was surprisingly insightful of you to realize," said Hermione thoughtfully, "But now that you say selfish, I think that fits better."
"Wow. Alright, then, you're taking a leaf out of my book now, are you? With your quips?"
"Oh, please. As if you've ever read a book, much less written one."
"You're hilarious, you know that?"
Hermione smiled, noticing that they had walked all the way to the walkway, now edging towards the forest. She stopped walking suddenly, looking around. "Sirius?"
"You should become a comedian, actually," Sirius continued, stopping in his pace and turning to face Hermione. "I'd reckon they'd double over laughing the moment you walked out on stage—"
"Sirius!" That startled Sirius enough to get him to look at her. "Where are Lily and James?" Hermione asked exasperatedly.
"Why, they're—bloody hell, we're at the end of the path aren't we?"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh—Sirius' sudden tone change at his realization was just too funny. Sirius placed his hands on his hips, doing a full turn.
"Damn. We've really lost them. Well." Sirius turned to look at Hermione, a little grin on his face. "You fancy a walk through the woods, then?"
Hermione scrunched her eyebrows at him. "Why don't we just go find James and Lily?"
"In that crowd?" Sirius pointed at the busy pathway, groups of people at every storefront. "Unlikely."
"Lily has bright red hair, how hard is it to spot a redhead?" Hermione questioned.
"And what if I want some private time with my favorite tutor?" asked Sirius back. For some odd reason, the words private time caused her insides to churn just a bit, Hermione taking a second longer than normal to respond.
"Firstly, why would we walk in the woods when we can sit down somewhere warm?" asked Hermione stubbornly, hoping her tone masked any indication of flustered feelings. "Secondly, did you forget that we were on a mission here before you went and lost Lily and James?"
"For the first point, I don't think you understand the meaning of the phrase private, and as for the second part, how is it my fault we lost them?" Sirius responded, "I thought this was an us thing."
"Well, you had to go and get me talking and distracted, didn't you?" Hermione sighed. She turned back towards the busy path. Were there really that many people they were walking amongst? Talking to Sirius, it really felt like only the two of them.
Hermione completely and decidedly blocked out that last particular thought.
"Really, I wonder, why did I think I'd get anything done with you?" Hermione asked, turning back to face Sirius.
"Exactly, Hermione, you know how much of a distraction you are."
"Clever. I can't tell if that's irony or projecting."
"Well, why not both?" Sirius asked, mockingly serious, "As a man of many talents, you'll find that I'm quite good at multi-tasking."
"Can we please have a serious conversation for once?"
"That's the thing with talking to someone named Sirius, isn't it? A fundamental attribution of every conversation I ever have is that it is, by nature, a 'Sirius conversation.'"
"Oh for goodness' sake Sirius, do you want to take a walk through the forest or not?" Hermione asked, on the brink of frustration.
"Oh, so now you want to walk through the forest."
"If it'll get you to shut it, yeah."
"You know, you're quite cute when you're frustrated."
The comment made Hermione blink a couple of times, the smile slipping from her lips in her flusterment. She wasn't quite sure how to respond, or how to deal with this absolutely stupid feeling in her stomach, but luckily she didn't have to do either of those things, because Sirius kept on talking.
"A bit like a baby hippogriff. Strong resemblance, really."
And immediately, the feeling was gone. Why, this little bug.
Hermione made a face at him, turning on her heel and beginning to walk into the forest.
"And just where are you going?" Sirius called after her.
"I'm heading to the forest. I'm hoping to run into a ferocious, hungry wolf so I'll finally have some good company."
"You'd be surprised how much I have in common with a wolf, you know!" Sirius said, but judging by the sound of his footsteps he was following suit.
A walk through the woods won't take too long. We can get back to finding Lily and James after twenty minutes or so, Hermione told herself. As Sirius came to be at her side again, Hermione found it increasingly difficult to deny the feeling sitting at the pit of her stomach.
She wondered just how much longer she'd deny just how much she wanted to spend time with Sirius.
"No, but really, baby hippogriff. It's the attitude that sells it. Stubborn and unreasonably confident."
Not for a while, Hermione decided just then.
…oOo…
Twenty minutes turned into an hour far too quickly.
Yes, a large portion of their conversations was composed of nothing more of Sirius' teasing remarks and Hermione's exasperated responses, but the true topics of these conversations were, to Hermione's shock, quite pleasant. They talked about normal things, like how they felt about certain professors and certain people. What they thought of the study atmosphere (to which they disagreed heavily with) and the student atmosphere.
But overall, Hermione was actually having a fun time talking to Sirius. Funnily enough, the first time she didn't want to strangle the jet-haired twit was the same time she actually had a genuine conversation with him.
"I'm just saying. You simply can't put students in a giant castle that's always changing and is practically alive itself and then say, 'Just live here for some seven years, and never get distracted ever, and get perfect grades, yeah?' As if I'm going to study when I can explore anything and everywhere," said Sirius, sounding like he felt very strongly about this matter.
"I understand that, but as I said before, this is a school with grades. Grades that determine your future and formulate your work ethic," Hermione reasoned, stepping up onto a toppled tree and beginning to walk on it, balancing carefully.
"The current school system prioritizes and celebrates a certain type of thinking that is unavailable to some and impossible to others," replied Sirius. "Not me, of course, I'm great. Just got better things to do. Want a hand?"
Hermione looked to see that Sirius extended his hand upwards towards her, as her stance on the log placed her to be quite a few inches taller than Sirius for the first time.
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "And have you pull me into the snow? I think not."
"No, to help you down. Can't I be nice every once in a while?"
Hermione was really tempted to respond with some snarky quip, but then she looked at his extended hand and a part of her didn't give her the option to think about that before she took his hand. Carefully, he guided her across the rest of the log and helped her step off safely. Hermione couldn't help but notice how he continued to hold her hand for just a couple of seconds after she had already stepped off before letting go.
Hermione also could have sworn that he squeezed for half a second before he did, but as she was wearing gloves, she able to easily convince herself that she was just imagining things, and that the thick fabric was deceiving her.
"Like a child who walks on pavement curbs," Sirius said with a little smile. Hermione rolled her eyes, stuffing her hands into her coat pockets.
"Do you ever tire of teasing me?" asked Hermione, continuing to walk and looking downwards towards her feet.
"Literally never."
"Fantastic."
It was silent between the two of them, just for a moment. Hermione wasn't sure if it was because of the handholding—okay, it was certainly because of the handholding.
"Well, we're avoiding a couple of large elephants in the forest, aren't we?" Sirius asked, breaking the ice. Hermione looked up at him in confusion.
"What elephants?"
"You know, the idiom, the elephant in the room—"
"Yes, Sirius I know how the English language works. I meant… You know. What are they?"
Sirius pursed his lips a bit, as if he were looking for the best way to phrase what he wanted to say.
"I have a slight feeling you may react negatively to the topic I am about to bring up."
"Sirius, every other thing that comes out of your mouth is profoundly upsetting."
Sirius smiled, but he didn't laugh. Hermione then bit down on her lower lip, knowing that he was actually being serious.
"In the recent events of my own break up… I was actually going to ask you about yours. You know, with one of my best mates, and all."
Immediately, Hermione internally groaned, sighing out a little bit before she responded. "That's not really what I want to talk about, Sirius. It was a difficult thing for me to do and I'd rather not be reminded of it."
"You really think you're the only person who knows what it's like to break up with someone?" asked Sirius, "I just feel like, based off what he said, you never really gave him a good reason as to why."
"And you're going to ask me so you can relay the information to him? If that's the case, then you have severely misjudged the type of relationship we have, Sirius," said Hermione, beginning to feel a bit frustrated.
She did feel a bit guilty as she watched the expression of mild hurt flash over Sirius' face as he heard her say the latter half of that bit.
"Well, I know what it's like, don't I? Breaking up with someone. I just want to know if your reasons for doing so are anything like mine," replied Sirius.
"I can absolutely assure you that your reasons for breaking up with Lana are completely and entirely different than my reason for breaking up with Remus," Hermione said a bit stiffly.
"How could you possibly say that when you don't even know why I broke up with her?" Sirius responded, "Do you not even want to know why I did it?"
"You said yourself you weren't emotionally invested, is that not reason enough?" said Hermione, "Don't tell me you know what it's like for me, Sirius."
"Hermione, I do understand, okay? I went through the same thing, I promise you that I understand what it's like—"
"No, Sirius, you don't know how I feel." Hermione interjected firmly, "I'm sick of you assuming everything about me. Has it ever occurred to you that you don't know me as well as you think you do? Have you ever considered that you don't truly, know me? So don't tell me you know what it's like to be me and what was best for me because I'm honestly—"
Hermione probably would have gone off on him for ages-she had enough on her mind to say so, quite frankly. But in that moment, Sirius reached forward, took her chin in his hand, so gently yet so firmly and turned Hermione's face in his direction, and Hermione suddenly forgot every word she had ever learned, ever.
"I—I-, I," Hermione stuttered softly, looking up into Sirius' gaze. And as she did, she suddenly remembered how genuinely attractive Sirius was. When she wasn't enraged with every word that came out of his mouth, and when his mouth wasn't twisted into some nasty sneer delivering an equally nasty comment, he was truly, genuinely handsome.
And it left her, embarrassingly enough, speechless.
"You're stuttering," Sirius observed, raising an eyebrow. He tilted his head a little bit, the corner of his lips turning up into an infuriatingly attractive smirk. "That's surprising. You almost always have something—well, a lot to say, really."
"You're full of yourself," Hermione muttered, reaching her own hand up and attempting to push his hand away. Sirius kept his grip on her firm, using his free hand to push hers away.
"W-What do you think you're doing?" asked Hermione meekly, "You can let go of me."
"Oh please, Hermione," Sirius murmured lowly, his voice dropping down to a tone that made Hermione just painfully weak in the knees, "You're sick of it? Well, how about I'm proper sick of acting like I don't go every other second thinking about your shrill voice yelping in my ear during tutoring sessions."
"How romantic," Hermione retorted back, expecting her voice to sound quite a bit meaner than it actually ended up sounding. Sirius raised his eyebrows again, and then finally, or maybe unfortunately, he let go of her face. Hermione touched up to the same place on her face as soon as he did. It was warm to the touch, maybe because of his grip, maybe because of her flushed face.
But of course, the moment he let go of her face was the moment he instead stepped closer to her, slowly, which of course led Hermione to back up herself, stumbling almost, until she found herself backed up against the tree behind her. Sirius didn't stop until he was directly in front of her, so little space in between them that Hermione could smell the cologne clinging to his jacket, a musky vanilla aroma invading her senses.
"Speaking of romance," Sirius said, "You really don't think it's about time we've addressed the hundreds of mental loops you've gone through to convince yourself you don't like me, not even a bit?"
Now, something about that really bothered Hermione. Hermione believed that people could change, and with her day with Sirius so far, she almost believed that he had changed maybe just a tad. But perhaps not if Sirius still genuinely believed he was entitled to the attraction and validation of every breathing woman around him.
"I believe we had this very same conversation on the day we first met," Hermione said, managing to sound just a tad more confident, "In which I rejected you and you called me a very rude word."
"I'm sorry, Hermione."
"I—wait, you're what?"
"I'm sorry," Sirius repeated, his voice low. "I'm sorry. For everything. In the past. I know this is coming out of nowhere, and I know you don't believe me but fortunately enough I'm enough of an arse to know I should apologize if I ever want to get the girl I like to like me back."
Hermione stopped to think about this. She wasn't sure how she felt, but she had to admit, it did feel… nice, to be apologized to. Her internal debate on this distracted her enough from the words the girl I like, because she wasn't ready to let herself process those words yet.
"… Do you want a reward, then? For attempting to be the baseline of a decent human being?" said Hermione quietly after a moment's pause. "I'm supposed to fall for you now, is that it?"
"I didn't say anything like that," responded Sirius quickly, "I just… I wanted you to know. I've been sorry. I know I'm an arse, I know, but I promise it's mostly because I like seeing how flustered you get."
"Sounds like you," said Hermione, suddenly finding herself far too flustered to look up at him. She looked down and off to the side, every added second of silence twisting her stomach into new shapes.
"… You know I started this conversation because I was hoping to hear that you broke up with Remus for the same reason that I broke up with Lana for, right?" said Sirius. Hermione furrowed her brow, still refusing to look up at him.
"That's ridiculous. I can assure you that they are not—"
"I broke up with Lana because I really like you, Hermione."
Hermione snapped her gaze back into Sirius'. His eyes weren't like Hermione was used to, no, instead of those grey eyes full of mischief, they were full of—something else, something Hermione couldn't quite place… Nothing cheesy like lust, or sappy love, nothing like that. No, they were full with something Hermione could only describe as true, genuine desire.
"Oh," responded Hermione softly, "I… I see…"
Sirius exhaled through his nose in a small laugh, his gaze feeling heavier and more intense with every passing moment.
"I guess our reasons weren't the same, then?" guessed Sirius.
"No, not at all."
"That doesn't mean you don't like me, does it?"
Hermione's voice caught in her throat, and she probably would have at least attempted to say something smart, something snappy, or even something at all if it weren't for the fact that Sirius had taken his hands out of his pockets, slipping his hands down to hold Hermione's waist, sliding down to rest on her hips.
Even through the layers of Hermione's outerwear, Sirius' touch burned, it burned through her clothes and imprinted onto her skin. From there, the warmth spread upwards to her face, downwards to her feet, coursing through her body like a flickering fire. And even though it was the middle of winter, it was like every part of her body immediately defrosted because all could she feel was the warmth of his touch, the warmth of his body so close to hers.
A gasp fully escaped her lips, the same warmth flushing across her cheeks in what she was certain was a brilliantly red blush. And just when she thought it was impossible for them to be any closer than they already were, Sirius reached up his right hand to her face, his thumb swiping over her cheek gently as the rest of his fingers entangled into her hair.
"Hermione," said Sirius quietly, "if you want me to let go of you and not continue then I will."
Hermione didn't give his question a single thought, not that she really could have, anyways—he was entirely too close, so close that she could smell the lingering aroma of cinnamon on his breath, and Hermione frankly wasn't even aware it was possible for someone to taste like cinnamon.
But Hermione still didn't say a single word, and Sirius took that as permission enough.
Slowly, Sirius leaned forward, his face nearing Hermione's in such a way that Hermione swore the snowflakes around them fell a little slower than normal. And just as Hermione's eyes fluttered close, she felt Sirius' lips brush against hers, barely and deliberately, sending another shock wave of warmth throughout her body.
And then, he leaned in fully, his grip on her waist tightening as he kissed her softly.
And immediately, Hermione thinks, this is how it should always feel.
She could feel her heart pounding viciously in her chest, and she felt alive, properly alive, and warm, just so much warmth. Sirius' lips moved against Hermione's so easily, as if he knew exactly how to make Hermione feel, well, good. With a sort of shy yet eager enthusiasm, Hermione kissed back. Her hands, previously frozen at her side, moved upward to slide up Sirius' chest.
This is how it should always feel.
Hermione realizes then that she hadn't felt like this in months, many months, maybe even a year? She had slowly forgotten what it was like to kiss someone and feel something, she had forgotten what it was like to feel wanted, truly wanted. She had forgotten what passion felt like, but right then in that moment it was all she could feel. Sirius didn't leave room for anything else, his lips molded against hers in such a perfect way.
Slowly, Sirius began to knead her waist, his grip on her tightening. Hermione gasped against Sirius' lips, to which Sirius chuckled. With her eyes still closed, she could feel Sirius gently biting down on her lower lip, pulling away from the kiss, and even if it were just for a second Hermione was breathless and in desperate need of more.
"Please," Hermione said softly. She moved her hands from her chest where she was previously clutching the front of his jacket in her gloved hands, slowly working up to wrap around the nape of Sirius' neck, pulling him back in closer. "Please."
"Fuck," Sirius muttered lowly, sounding short of breath himself, and if Hermione wondered what his face looked like then—was he actually flustered, was he bothered, did he feel even a fraction of the amount of elation and pleasure?
Hermione wasn't able to find out, because before she could open her eyes to look at him Sirius' lips were against hers again. But it was different this time, just a bit—maybe because Sirius had moved his hand down from her face to her waist, so that both hands were holding her just above her hips.
Sirius slowly deepened the kiss, kissing her just a bit more deliberately, a bit more passionately. He pulled Hermione closer to his own body, simultaneously moving her to press harder against the tree behind her. With this, the kiss felt somehow closer, more intense, and Hermione could feel herself really beginning to lose her breath.
And then suddenly, as clear and shrill as a bronze bell, a voice spoke in her head:
Hope this is worth it, in the end.
Hermione faltered a bit, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter. If her sudden hesitance was obvious, Sirius didn't react.
Hermione Granger. Your name is Hermione Granger.
Block it out, block it all out, thought Hermione to herself—but it was getting harder, to just ignore it—
Granger. Not Alden. You're the same girl who meets this man in the Shrieking Shack, a different name and a different time won't change that.
It was getting to the point where Hermione wasn't even thinking about the kiss, or anything at all besides Sirius, but not the Sirius in front of her, no, the Sirius she knew, the one she really knew, the Sirius who was her best friend's godfather, the Sirius who cared for her and Harry and Ron and all of her friends, her true friends. What did Sirius think, truly think when he saw Hermione for the first time, who did he really see in that Shack—did he feel disgust, did he feel betrayal?
"Hermione?"
In the midst of Hermione's tortuously overwhelming thoughts, Sirius had pulled away. Hermione suddenly realized that there were slow, steady tears tracking down her cheeks. In a fit of extreme and sudden embarrassment, Hermione looked away, hastily wiping the tears with her gloved hands.
"Hermione, did I…?" asked Sirius slowly, "Hermione, are—?"
"I'm sorry, Sirius, it's not about you," Hermione murmured quickly, "I… I'm so sorry, I've ruined everything. I'm sorry, Sirius."
Hermione attempted to turn and leave, but immediately, Sirius pulled her back by the wrist, gently. "Wait, Hermione, please. Please, at least tell me what I did wrong—"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Sirius," Hermione interjected, still refusing to look him in the eye, "I told you, it isn't about you. I shouldn't have done that to you, Sirius, I should have known better, I should have known better."
"No, Hermione, you don't get it—"
"Sirius, I can assure you," interrupted Hermione once again, "that you are the one who doesn't understand—"
"Hermione Alden. I would literally let you ruin my life."
Sirius said this statement with such gravity, such solemnity that Hermione couldn't help but let out a single, sad laugh. "What?"
"No, I'm not joking, Hermione. I'd let you ruin my life." Hermione looked into Sirius' eyes, and there were glowing with his certain look, like something was ignited behind his irises.
He let go of Hermione's wrist, continuing on. "Hermione, you dated one of my best mates. In case you just missed it, I just kissed you when I know damn well he's still not over you. You've already driven a wedge between my morals and what I stood for, Hermione, you've changed me. Whatever reason you've gotten in your head that makes you so convinced that we won't work, I can absolutely assure you that I don't care."
"Sirius, you really—" Hermione attempted, but Sirius was not having it.
"You like me, Hermione, I know you do," continued Sirius, "And I'm sorry you don't trust me enough to tell me what it is, but—can I just ask you, please? Please. Don't… Don't just leave. At least consider this, consider me. At least consider."
Hermione remained quiet, sniffling quietly as she bit down on her lip. Sirius sighed, taking a step forward and gently wiping the tears still trailing down her cheeks with his thumbs.
"Are your hands not cold without gloves on?" asked Hermione quietly, earning a tiny smile from Sirius.
"Well," said Sirius, pulling back and stuffing his hands into his pockets, "How about we warm up with a couple of butterbeers, then? And… Maybe have a chat."
Hermione smiled very weakly, but it probably looked more like a wince.
"I'll buy," added Sirius.
"You don't have to bribe me, Sirius."
"Well in that case you're buying."
That earned a real smile from her.
…oOo…
The butterbeer did actually help a little bit.
Well, it didn't quite help with the internal fight occurring in her head, each side shouting so brutally at each other that it was near deafening. But it did calm her down a bit. Sirius was able to find a booth tucked away in the corner, away from any prying eyes if Hermione did decide to break down once more (Sirius' words, not hers).
She did like Sirius, she truly did. She hadn't felt like this for another person in… well, in maybe forever. After the falling out with Ron, any happy memories between them got lost in what had become nothing but shambles.
But then there was the logical part of Hermione's brain, a side that she almost always prioritized. And it was a bit terrifying that she was even considering the other side when the facts were just so clear. Sirius just had that effect on her, she supposed.
Of course, Hermione didn't really explain any of her reasonings for why she cried, and much less why she had hesitancies for any type of relationship.
Sirius seemed to respect that. But there was also some nonspoken, mutual agreement that things between them were different now. They sat on the same side of the booth, for one, sat a bit closer to each other than how normal friends would sit.
"I still can't help but feel ridiculous that this all started because of a television remote flavored jelly bean," said Hermione, humming softly as she brought the mug to her lips and took a sip.
Sirius didn't say anything, nothing at all, and Hermione looked at him to see if maybe Sirius hadn't heard her. But no, Sirius had a very controlled look on his face, as if he were trying his absolute best to not bark out a laugh.
Hermione immediately glared. "Sirius, do you have something you'd like to tell me?"
"Blimey Hermione, you really think they'd name a Bernie Bott's Bean after a muggle device? Prongs was in on it," admitted Sirius with a laugh, "What, you'd really think I'd keep it from him, my best mate?"
"Well—I don't know, I thought that maybe you'd do something nice for me for once!" said Hermione, quite flustered.
"Well, we just had a decent snog, I'm pretty certain that's the nicest thing that's ever going to happen to you."
Hermione would have just about dunked her entire drink on Sirius if it weren't for Lily and James walking into the Three Broomsticks just that moment. Sirius immediately called out to them, beckoning them over.
"There you two are! Sort things out, did we?" asked James as they sat down across from Hermione and Sirius. James winked at Sirius, to which Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, settled it over a butterbeer. Hermione has agreed to help me cheat on every test from now on," replied Sirius.
"Not true," said Hermione, smiling at Lily. The redhead looked just radiant. Yes, she and Hermione were very good friends and got along very well—but there was something different to her when she was around James, a different sort of happiness.
"What did the pair of you get up to?" asked Hermione. Lily smiled, clearly a bit flustered.
"Well, nothing particularly interesting, really, just talked a bit. It's funny, isn't it, how James is only a decent person after dragging it out of him in a conversation beyond surface level?"
"Alright, now. Don't go talking about marriage so soon," said James sagely, snickering a bit when Lily reached forward to playfully smack his shoulder.
"Actually, Lily, I understand exactly how you feel," said Hermione, smiling a bit at Sirius.
Under the table, Hermione felt Sirius reach for her hand. Her smile widened more, glancing down back at the table with a soft blush spreading across her cheeks. Sirius just squeezed in response, interlocking their fingers.
"Then I'm sure you're as frustrated as me then," joked Lily, but her eyes were fixated on James.
Hermione paused for a moment.
Yes, she was in a completely different generation, with a group of people she knew entirely too much about. A lot of the times, she felt like a liar, an imposter—but in moments like these, she felt like she had a group of true, genuine friends.
And with Sirius' hand in hers, Hermione figured, maybe, she could afford to focus on moments like these, even if it were only for a moment.
"Well, yes," said Hermione with a small smile. She turned again to smile at Sirius, who was already grinning back at her with that same familiar, mischievous grin.
"But I think it's well worth it," concluded Hermione, giving Sirius' hand a squeeze, too.
…oOo…
ok that's IT that's IT im sorry that didn't conclude anything at all lol just wanted to slip some ~~~action~~~ in there
but thank you so, so much for reading. please, if you enjoyed this, come follow my journey on ao3! or if ur lazy just tell me to post it here lol. im honestly not sure if anyone at all will read this, but… if you are, thank you, truly. yall are great. 3