Oliver leaned against his tree and knocked his head lightly against the trunk. "I should have known."

He twisted his fingers into the hem of the shirt he'd thrown on to come out to visit the tree. He knew if Thea saw his bare torso again there'd be more awkward questions from her.

Oliver wasn't even sure how to answer some of the simple 'easy' questions that Felicity had listed out for Diggs and her to ask him. He knocked his head back again and frowned when the pain wasn't even sharp enough to register for more than a second.

He should have seen that the doctor over the Count for what he had been. He could have saved more people if he'd just shot the Count to start with. Oliver huffed as his phone beeped.

"What?"

Diggle's voice sounded strained. "Where are you?"

Oliver thumped his head again a little harder to see if it'd hurt a bit more. "Out of the house. Why?"

"Your room's window is open and your sister is worried."

"Ollie! You had better be okay so I can kick you!" Thea sounded more scared than mad.

Diggle's sigh was harsh over the line. "She found your bed empty and called me to see if you were out somewhere."

Oliver sighed. "I'm fine. Tell her to quit walking into my room without knocking."

"I did knock, you asshole!"

"Could you please come inside, Oliver?"

Oliver smiled grimly at Diggle's pleading tones buried in the not-pleased-with-you voice. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

He flicked the phone call off and leaned his head back to look up his tree. "No rest for the wicked, huh? Maybe that's what I am now just wicked clear through."

Oliver slipped around the doorjamb quietly enough that neither Diggle or Thea caught onto it. They were near his open window looking out across the gardens.

"I just don't know how to help him, you know? He's not Ollie anymore."

Diggle smoothed down his tie. "He is still Ollie, just not the same Ollie that left. You aren't the same either, you know that right?"

"What do you mean?"

"The changes were slow for you, so you see yourself as the same as you've always been. Oliver might see you as a much taller, more independent, young woman instead of the knock kneed girl he would still have a mental picture of."

"Oh."

Oliver frowned. He hadn't really still had a mental picture of Thea. Or anyone for that matter. He recognized most everyone the first time he'd seen them upon coming back, but not because he'd had a mental picture he could pull up. He had numerous things from the island that he could remember more clearly then what Thea looked like before.

Thea turned from the window and caught sight of him in the doorway. "Ollie!"

She came up on him fast and Oliver looked at Diggle to try to ground himself in the present as Thea hugged him.

Thea backed up after a few moments and smacked him on the arm. "You scared me."

Oliver frowned and tried to seem comfortable for her sake. "I'm sorry. I just needed to be outside for a little while."

Thea shifted into that weird pouty mode that Oliver still didn't know how to handle with her. "You just want to go back there. You want to leave again."

Oliver blinked and settled on the side of his bed as Diggle made concerned faces behind Thea. "I didn't want...Thea, I don't want to go back there." He waved at his stomach. "I have plenty of scars from being there the first time around."

She suddenly looked like she wanted to cry. "Then why can't you just sit stil? Why...why can't you just be you again?"

Oliver put his hands on his thighs as he tried to work out what to say. "Thea, I had to cut out parts of myself to survive there. I had...I dropped a lot of social behavior and cues. I can't be that proper Ollie for you. He's dead." He ignored her widening eyes and plowed on. "I can only be who I am now. This person that hadn't been touched in nearly five years. This person that feels like the house is closing in on me sometimes. This person that wants to ditch my shoes every chance I get because they feel wrong."

Thea covered her mouth with her hand and hurried out of the room.

Oliver sighed and closed his door. "Shit."

Diggle caught him as he sagged. "Oliver?"

"I'm...fine." Oliver huffed out a laugh. "I just...she touches nerves. She's really good at it."

"That's what siblings are for." Diggs moved him to his bed. "Were you going to come in on your own? It was supposed to rain tonight."

"It isn't going to rain until just before dawn." Oliver wiggled his bare toes and smiled up at Diggs frowning down at him. "I'm lots better with weather than I used to be."

"I bet." Diggs eyed him. "You want to sleep on the floor?"

Oliver flopped backwards on the bed. "I'll never get used to it again if I don't try."

"True." Diggle poked on his feet until Oliver hid them under the covers. "Once I'm gone you can move if you want."

Oliver frowned at Tommy and Laurel sitting across from each other. It meant he'd have to choose a side and there was a sea of social cues and non-verbal language that he couldn't decipher from them. He smiled as he stopped next to their table. "Hey, guys."

Laurel's smile seemed more vague than normal and Tommy jumped up to wave Oliver into his seat.

"Oliver, here, take my seat."

Oliver settled and glanced at sight lines as Tommy moved to sit next to Laurel. "Thanks for inviting me to dinner."

They both nodded. Laurel cocked her head slightly. "Thea talked to me today."

Oliver looked up from the menu to find them both staring at him. "Okay. About what?"

"Not what, who. She is worried about you."

He focused on the menu, trying to find something he could eat without issues. "Why?"

Tommy kicked him under the table. "Why do you think?"

Oliver looked at him. "I have no idea."

Laurel put her hand on his arm. "Oliver, you've changed and I see you trying so hard to act like everything is fine when it isn't."

"What do you want me to say?" He put aside the menu because he wasn't going to be able to eat with the direction of the conversation.

She frowned as she pulled away. "I don't know, okay? I have no idea what I want from you other than for you to be as healthy as you can be."

Oliver took a sip of the wine Tommy hadn't moved to his new seat. "I'm healthy."

She sighed. "Ollie, why haven't you talked to anyone about what happened?"

Oliver could feel his body tensing up. He stood. "I just remembered I have an appointment. We'll have to do this another time."

Tommy stood and started to follow him as he strode away.

Oliver didn't let Tommy catch him until the fire escape stairwell. "What?"

"Oliver."

Oliver pressed his forehead to the tile wall. "What?"

Tommy's hand on his shoulder was tentative. "She just wants to help. Thea told her that you were sleeping in the woods instead of your bedroom."

Oliver shook his head without pulling away from the wall. "I wasn't sleeping. Shit. I was just...It'll sound just as crazy and you don't want to hear what I'm doing. Never mind." He pulled away and hurried down the stairwell until he could slip out the stairwell door and closed it before Tommy could round the stairs to see the door close to know which floor Oliver was on.

Oliver sighed and took the elevator down to the second floor. He eased down the main stair case until he was certain Tommy wasn't in the foyer. Oliver went out and down the street until he found a bench that wasn't occupied.

Diggle rubbed his thumb across his eyebrow. "You're sure he hasn't moved?"

"Three hours, Diggs. I kept thinking he was going to go on home, so I didn't call you until he covered his face with his hands. He's been like that for nine minutes now."

Diggs frowned at the corner of the traffic camera's video feed. "You know it's Oliver for sure?"

"Yes, Diggs. Phone signal, the imbedded tracker, and facial recognition all agree."

"Alright." Diggs jerked his thumb towards the far wall. "Push that cot up against the wall and pile on the blankets. Turn up the heat in here a little while you are at it. I'll go get him."

Felicity hugged him. "Thanks." She backed up and patted at his suit. "Sorry."

He patted her shoulder. "Not a problem."

Diggle parked around the corner and came up on Oliver's left side, Diggle still wasn't sure if Oliver was ambidextrous, but it was still a good bet that Oliver's ability to attack to the side was lesser on the man's left. "Oliver."

He didn't drop his hands from his face even as he slid over to give Diggle more room to sit on the bench.

"Are you going to stay on this bench for the rest of the night?"

Oliver shrugged. "Maybe."

Diggle leaned back and sighed as he spread his arms along the back of the bench. "Alright."

Oliver ignored him for several minutes before dropping his hands and turning to glare at him. "Go away, Diggle."

He shook his head. "Nope."

Oliver growled, stood up, and then abruptly back down. "Tommy quit the nightclub."

"Okay. And that has you out on a public bench with all the tell-tale signs of having a minor breakdown because, why?"

"Minor?" Oliver snorted. "I think I left minor in the dust months ago."

Diggle frowned. "I thought you were doing fairly well under the circumstances."

"Right. That's why you gave me so much crap about what I'm doing."

"I fought with you because I cared what you were doing to yourself. Besides not wanting people to die; killing isn't something to just step into with no training, Oliver."

"You're assuming I didn't have any training."

"No. I don't mean the bow and arrows. I get you picked that up from someone. I mean the frame of mind training."

Oliver huffed. "I take you mean the him or me mind-frame?"

"Not only that, but yes, that's part of it."

Oliver squinted as he stared across the empty street. "I'm not going to go crazy because I've killed."

"I didn't say you would." Diggle stood up. "Come on, Oliver."

Oliver sighed, stood up, and followed Diggle to his car.

Felicity frowned as Diggle carried Oliver down the stairs. "Be careful. Why did you just keep driving around?"

Diggle eased Oliver down onto the cot. "I was waiting for him to fall asleep."

She pulled on Oliver's boot. "He's way more asleep than I would have expected."

Diggle pulled on the other boot. "He's exhausted. I think it is mostly emotional exhaustion. Oliver getting hit with Vertigo version two, Tommy quitting, and having to pull apart this level to hide it from the police search all hit him at once."

Felicity hummed as she used a wet wipe to clean Oliver's hands. "I think everything weighs on him more than anyone notices. I don't think he wants us to notice it. He was really worried when he got back and you hadn't called to let us know why you couldn't come help. He was all 'grrr' until I could show him your phone was still moving."

Diggle blinked. "I thought he was just mad about me not coming at his beck and call."

Felicity frowned as she ran the wipe gently across Oliver's face. "You are an idiot." She glanced at him. "Just saying. I mean, seriously? You didn't think he'd care if something happened to you?" She sat back on her heels and frowned at Oliver. "Something is wrong, Diggs. He didn't even flinch when I ran this over his face."

Diggle put his fingertips to Oliver's pulse point. "Steady normal beat and his breathing is alright."

She waggled the wipe at him. "He'd normally have jumped and grabbed at me. Is he that exhausted? How bad is that?"

Diggle gently shook Oliver's foot and he groaned as he pulled his foot closer to himself.

"Oh. That's good, right?"

"Yeah." Diggle smoothed the blanket down. "Let's leave him be, Felicity."

She patted Oliver as she stood up. She grabbed Diggle's suit lapel. "Come along. I'm not done telling you how dumb I think you are for thinking Oliver doesn't care about you."

Diggle sighed and let himself be lead away.

Oliver listened to them go and mentally sighed. He was happy he'd woken up as Diggle had been carrying him down the stairs, but it felt like a betrayal that he hadn't let them know he was awake as they took his boots off.

It just felt too...something to have people caring about him in a way that didn't scream ulterior motive. He'd kept himself from leaning into Felicity's careful cleaning by sheer force of will. He would have to remember to ask Diggle how things were with him more often to help him remember that Oliver did care about him.

Oliver shifted and let himself start to drift. He had liked having them watching over him. He couldn't trust it, not completely, but he knew he was liking it far too much.