Chapter 1

Ezra POV

Ezra felt numb all over, watching silently as his best friend was laid to rest in the ground. His heart-felt heavy, not noticing the drizzle that had started up as he shut his eyes for a brief second. He didn't know if he could do it, that he could go on without his best friend since childhood. Him and Alex had not only been friends, but that had also been brothers. He cursed everyone, the entire world. How could god have been so cruel? Alex had done everything right, had followed all the rules since being put on the earth. He felt his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he reeled in his anger. He didn't know what to believe anymore. All his hopes and dreams had shattered in one horrifying night. The same night he had got a call from the police, notifying him that his friend had died in a car accident. The car accident had been instant, he had died suddenly. Someone drunk had driven into the wrong lane. God, he hated drunks. He opened his eyes, calming himself as he looked around the gravesite at the other mourners. So many people had shown up, that fact alone bringing a small smile to his hard lips. Alex had touched a lot of lives, inspiring so many people. He was a true friend. He was always around when you needed him. He finished saying his goodbyes after the preacher had got done speaking.

He moved around, limping as he conversed with a few others as his baby blue eyes wandered around, searching for that one person. The one person who had meant everything to Alex, Aria. He spotted her surrounded by so many people, being engulfed in hugs and kisses as she looked lost. He felt that same loss, wanting to go to her, but he couldn't get to her. So many people were blocking his way. As though she could feel his eyes, she looked up and met them. Her eyes were so big and beautiful and brown, lightening up with recognition as her eyes ran over his facial features. He knew he looked different, had got older. She had grown up so much, had become so beautiful. Just like her mother, Elena. Elena had also been a beauty. She had died giving birth to Aria. Her hair was a beautiful brunette that was thick and curly and fell down her back, her complexion so creamy and soft, and her body voluptuous. He pulled his eyes back up to her face; he couldn't look at her like that. She was just a sixteen year old girl. He had watched her grow up, had picked her up and bounced her on his knee. Had been there the day she had been born. He felt sick to his stomach, noticing her womanly curves. She wasn't a woman, she was still a child. He had to remember that. He wasn't interested in her like that. Hell, he saw her as a daughter. She was the only family he had left, and he was the only family she had left. And plus, Alex would definitely kick his ass from beyond the grave if he was attracted to Aria. He couldn't be. He didn't know why his eyes had looked over her body. He pulled his eyes away from hers as other friends of Alex approached him, engaging him in conversation. He felt her eyes on him, but he didn't look at her again. He couldn't understand that look in her eyes.

Ezra skipped the feeding at Alex's next door neighbor's house, giving Aria more time to spend with her friends before they left for Rosewood in the morning. Aria was coming to live with him. He wasn't surprised that Alex had named him legal guardian. He was Aria's godfather after all. He made a couple of phone calls, put some things in order, and then he headed back to the motel where he was staying. He let himself into his room, untying the tie from around his neck as he thought about Aria. He couldn't believe how much older she had gotten. She had almost been unrecognizable. He hadn't seen her in so long. He hated how his busy schedule had kept him from seeing her, or Alex as much as he wanted to. Him being a high school English teacher, and doing part-time private security work was stressful and time-consuming. He blew out a tired breath, running a hand through his dark hair that was streaked with grey, before shrugging out of his jacket, and then he made his way into the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He grabbed the hand towel to pat his face dry, then he started to unbutton his white shirt, and then he unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned and unzipped his black dress slacks. He turned around to turn on the shower, dying for a hot bath to wash away his troubles. He still wasn't able to get the look that had been in Aria's eyes when she had stared at him out of his head. What had it been? Was it awareness? Disappointment? Anger? He didn't know. He caught a look at his reflection. He looked terrible. Sleep deprived. Sad. His eyes were bloodshot and he had bags underneath them. He shook his head, before stepping into the shower.

He sighed as the scorching water run down his body, loving the pain it brought. That was all he could feel, was pain. He knew he couldn't feel numb forever. He had to take care of Aria. She needed him. He had to been there for her. He couldn't let her down. She depended on him. He didn't know how to be a father. This was all new for him. He didn't know anything about raising teenagers. Sure, he taught them, but he didn't know about raising them. He thought about Aria when she had been a child. She had been willful, independent, and said what was on her mind. He wondered if she was still like that. He wondered if she had really changed at all. Alex had never complained about her giving him problems, but then again, she was his little girl. His only child. He remembered the way she used to look at him, like he was so interesting. Like he was so foreign. He even remembered how she would climb on his lap, wrapping her little arms around him. Remembered reading to her, watching as she smiled and giggled as her brown eyes danced with twinkles. She had been so inquisitive, always asking him questions. She used to love when he would cook for her, making her food in creative ways to spike her interest. She had been a very picky eater. He couldn't help smiling, thinking of that small child. He had adored her. Now, he didn't know much about her. He had to get to know her all over again. He didn't mind. He wanted to become close with her again. He needed to have her in his life. She was the only thing that tied him to Alex.

Ezra hopped out the shower, reaching over for a long towel to wrap it around his waist, and then he grabbed another towel to dry off the top of his body. He was in great shape to be 40-years-old. He was lean, tall, and physically fit. His chest was impressive as it was broad, dark hair dusted it, his abdomen was tone and taut, and his thighs and legs outlined the muscles. He worked out every day of the week, wanting to keep his body in top shape. It was required for the security work he did. He didn't eat a lot of junk foods. He ate mostly organic foods and drank plenty of mineral water. He did excises from lifting weights, running and jumping rope, going to the gun range to keep up with his reflexes, and preformed push-ups and sit ups. His stomach grumbled, but he wasn't hungry. He didn't feel like eating. He just wanted to get some sleep. He didn't even know if he would be able to sleep. He was more restless than anything. It was like every time he closed his eyes, he saw Alex. Happy Alex. He brushed his teeth, a little harder than necessary as his gums burned and bled. He balled the towels up, then he kicked them into a pile by the door, and then he headed back into the room. He hoisted his suitcase up from the floor and slammed it down on the king sized bed, his hands tearing through the many shirts, jeans, and socks to get to his sweatpants that was all the way to the bottom. He yanked them on, leaving his chest bare as he moved over to the little mini bar in his motel room to pour himself a glass of Vodka he had picked up at the liquor store when he driven into town . He tossed it back, loving how the liquor burned and trickled down his throat. He poured another glass, tossing it back as he grimaced in satisfaction. He poured another glass, taking it along with the tall bottle of Vodka over to the bed as he reclined back. He kicked the suitcase on the floor, all the contents falling out. He didn't care. The only thing he cared about was getting really drunk. He closed his eyes, swallowing huge amounts of the liquor as he thought about nothing. He didn't want to think tonight. He didn't want to think about his best friend being dead. It hurt too much. And he sure as hell didn't want to think of Aria. He didn't know what the hell he had thought to allow his eyes to roam over her body. He just didn't know how much she had grown. He was still in shock. Where there once had been a young child, had been replaced with a young woman. Of course he knew she couldn't stay a child forever. He just wasn't ready for the change.

He threw back the rest of the liquid in the glass, sitting down the glass, and then he brought the bottle towards his mouth, taking it to the head as he gulped down what remained in the bottle. He was so tired, so tired of everything. He couldn't believe Alex had left him. He had always giving Ezra's life balance and substance. He re-opened his eyes, staring blankly up at the ceiling fan as his stomach rumbled again. The hardcore liquor had upset his stomach. But of course it did, he hadn't eaten all day. He groaned, before rolling over on his side as he breathed deeply, trying to quench the small shooting pains in his stomach. He started to laugh for no clear reason, the laugh sounding bitter and angry to his own ears as he laughed harder. He couldn't stop, he didn't want to stop. He wanted to laugh himself to death. And then, he started to cry as the horrid sounds filled the room. They came from deep within him. Was that him? Did he really feel that much anguished? Rage? Pain? His body shook like he was having a seizure as more harsh sobs ripped from out of his mouth. He hugged the Vodka bottle close to his chest as though it was a small baby as he rocked himself back and forth. He bit down on his thumb, stopping the angry sounds as he stilled his rocking. He willed himself to sleep, willed for a moment of peace. He wanted to just let go, to just let everything float away as a warm soothing sensation flowed over him. He felt light, like he was flying. His head fell against the pillow, his arm loosening around the bottle, his chest rising and falling slowly, before he drifted off into a deep sleep.

This story was in my head, so I had to write down. I like where I'm going with this, but what do you guys think? Please review and let me know!