A/N: So this is a sequel to my other story 'When you feel like breaking'. It would be best to read that first and then come back to this, but it still would make sense if you started from this one, so I leave that decision to you. Either way, enjoy!

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 28 AND UP

He should have seen it coming, he should have known. It was his fault. He should have been there, it was his responsibility. He promised…

Rivaille closed his eyes, his grip on the bottle tightening. He's been sitting in the kitchen since they got back, not even caring about the blood and dirt smeared all over his clothes. His wounded leg throbbed with sharp pain, but he hardly noticed. He took another sip from the bottle, the liquid burning his tongue and throat.

It was all his fault… Petra, Erd, Gunter, even that idiot Auruo… They were all dead, because of his moronic desire to be the one to slay the Female Type. He was so confident in his abilities, so sure that he could handle anything that came his way, that he let his guard down. At the worst possible moment too… His chest felt tight with guilt, it was all his fault, all his damn fault…

Rivaille raised the bottle and took another gulp of the alcohol. And another, and another and yet another, until his throat screamed in pain and his eyes watered with tears. Hysterical laughter erupted from him, even though his heart was clenched painfully enough to make his head spin. Or maybe he was already that drunk.

He propped an elbow on the table to support his head. Yeah, he must be pretty drunk. But it didn't matter anyhow, he could drink till he collapsed and no one would care. They were all dead, after all. Because of him… Fisting his hand in his hair, he pulled hard in hopes of dulling the pain in his heart. And for a few seconds it worked, but then the aching returned with full force.

'I'm such an idiot,' his voice was hoarse and every word hurt his throat more than the alcohol.

He reached for the bottle again. It was nearly empty, he should get another one. Drinking the last remains of the liquid, he set the bottle aside were the others stood. On wobbly legs he got to one of the cupboards and took out another bottle. There were only three left. He didn't knew how many he already drowned. Five or maybe six…

He took out the cork with his teeth, spitting it out with disgust, and took a gulp. Familiar burning sensation on his tongue made him sigh in relief. Supporting himself on the edge of the table, he staggered back to the chair. He didn't want to think, not about the lives lost because of him, not about Eren, who was nearly abducted, not about the wound on his leg that made him useless to humanity, not about anything at all. Once again he raised the bottle to his lips, when the doors to the kitchen opened. Rivaille didn't even spare a glance that way, as he took another sip of alcohol.

'You're still here, Corporal?' Eren's quiet voice made him look up from the table. 'I'll help you to your room.'

'Don't wanna,' he slurred through his numb tongue, taking another gulp from the bottle. 'Leave me 'lone.'

'You should stop this, Corporal,' Eren's warm hand closed on his wrist, stopping him from drinking. 'They wouldn't want to see you like this.'

Something inside Rivaille snapped. Who the fuck did this brat think he was to tell him what to do? If he wanted to get himself drunk, he would, he certainly had more than enough reasons for it. And yet here was a kid of only 15 years, telling him that he shouldn't because apparently the dead cared about his health. Rivaille growled, his eyes narrowing in anger. If you're going to be worried so much, don't go and fucking die, you shitheads. His knuckles went white from how hard he squeezed the bottle.

'What the hell do you know, Jaeger?' he bit out, feeling his pain fuel the anger. He just wanted to release it, to stop feeling anything. 'You didn't even get to know them that well!'

The fingers around his wrist tightened so much, that Rivaille could feel his hand going numb. Looking up at Eren, he saw his green eyes shine with the same murderous anger as when he spoke of killing the titans. It hypnotized him, it always did. He noticed how the boy's upper lip curled up in a growl, and the little furrows that appeared on his forehead. But it was the eyes that called out to him. In his drunken state he couldn't get much out of them, one thing was clear enough though. Anger.

'Yeah, so maybe I didn't!' the boy raised his voice. 'But it was my fault, so don't act like you're the only one hurt!'

Eren let go of his wrist and took the bottle out of his hand. The next thing Rivaille knew was the sharp sound of glass breaking on the stone floor and he snapped again. He didn't know why, maybe it was the sudden crush, maybe the fact that the alcohol was taken away from him, or maybe the brat's words, but his fist cut through the air fast as lightning, striking Eren's cheek. The boy staggered backwards, but Rivaille wasn't satisfied. Far from it, his ire fuelled by the sight of blood. A kick and another punch in the stomach sent Eren toppling over.

Even though he kicked and punched, the boy didn't resist him at all. This, like nothing else, cleared Rivaille's mind, leaving only alcohol induced light-headedness. He slumped on the chair and put his face in his hands. This was… It was… He was… disgusting. He grimaced, smelling the blood on his hands. The kid did nothing wrong and yet he decided it was okay to use him as a sandbag. He felt like throwing up.

The slight movement on the floor caught his attention. He raised his head just as Eren was wiping the blood off of his face with his sleeve. Staggering slightly, the teen got up from the floor, a flash of pain marring his features now and then.

'Sorry,' Rivaille found his voice when Eren looked his way. There was no anger in his eyes, not anymore. 'Did I hurt you bad?'

'Nothing that's not going to disappear tomorrow,' the boy answered, almost nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. He came closer and offered Rivaille his bloodied hand. 'Come, Corporal, I'll help you to your room.'

Rivaille looked at the hand he was about to grip. It was smeared with blood and dirt from the floor, filthy. What was surprising, even to himself, he didn't mind that at all. Be it the guilt, or the alcohol, or this whole situation, he didn't mind. Clasping his hand with Eren's, he swayed while standing up and immediately an arm sneaked around his shoulders, supporting him gently. And Rivaille didn't mind, the hands, the warmth, the embrace provided by the boy.

Sighing with exhaustion, he leaned on the kid as they were going through empty corridors. The silence made his head throb with unnecessary thoughts and he had more than enough of those at the moment. A short glance at the boy was enough though, to make him suffer in solitude. He didn't want to burden him even more.

Eren's words left a hollow echo in his heart. In a way it was the boy's fault, since the Female Type was after him, but that was precisely why Irvin and the others entrusted him to Special Operations Squad. They trusted him to protect Eren and he failed. Rivaille clenched his eyes shut. He failed the trust placed in him by the higher-ups, by his people, by Eren. And to top it all, he got injured. Nothing but a streak of failures.

When he heard the screeching of the door to his room, he opened his eyes. It was completely dark, so dark that he couldn't see his own feet. As if unaffected by this, Eren led him to his bed without any hesitation. Probably his titan skills, or he himself was already that drunk. He was gently placed on his bed, and he sighed with exhaustion. Through his clouded senses he felt his boots being taken off and a blanket covering him delicately up to his shoulders. The warmth that engulfed him made him sigh with content.

'Goodnight, Corporal,' he heard Eren's voice and opened his eyes, seeing only the boy's eyes in the pitch black darkness.

'Stay,' his voice was a hoarse whisper, making his throat itch uncomfortably.

'Excuse me?' Eren blinked in confusion, making Rivaille's eyebrow twitch. He got up to a sitting position.

'You said it yourself,' he offered the kid a hand. It was the only thing he could do to apologize. 'I'm not the only one hurt.'

He saw how Eren's eyes widened in shock and nearly smirked. Was it so surprising that he actually listened to what others said? Or maybe it was the prospect of spending the night with him? Either way, the emotions in those green eyes amused him and he couldn't suppress a tiny smile. Well, not couldn't, didn't want to. It was dark, after all.

Clearly seeing hesitation in Eren's posture, he sighed. 'I told you before, didn't I?' his eyes adjusted slightly to the darkness, allowing him to see more of Eren's face. He was biting his lip, looking unsure and somewhat frightened. 'When you feel like breaking, come to me.'

At once all the hesitation disappeared from the boy and he put his own hand in Rivaille's, who pulled him to the bed and hugged him tight. Eren's face was buried in his chest and soon the kid's hands were clutching onto him desperately. But he didn't cry, not this time. Listening to his even breathing, Rivaille didn't notice when he slipped into deep slumber.

He woke up next morning to the light touch on his hair and face. It was so pleasant, that he just laid there, not moving even a muscle. His head pounded mercilessly, but the ghostly feeling of fingers on his forehead took his attention away from the pain. He didn't want to get up, face the world. He'd much rather get drunk again, than listen to everyone's shit. But he had to, that was a part of his job as the Lance Corporal.

He was about to give up and open his eyes, when something touched his lips. Gentle, soft and slightly wet… Rivaille's eyes snapped open and he immediately regretted it, as a bolt of pain struck his head at the brightness. He groaned, getting up to a sitting position. It didn't escape his notice though how close Eren's face was to his, how his lips felt on his own, or how fast the boy moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

'What are you doing?' he asked in a rasping voice, grimacing at how sore his throat was.

'N-nothing, sir,' a full blown red blush appeared on Eren's cheeks and Rivaille was surprised to find it kind of cute. 'I'll go make some breakfast.'

And he practically flew out of the room, making a small smirk of amusement show on the Corporal's face. This touch he felt while sleeping must have been Eren's and the boy kissed him, huh… So the kid had a crush on him? He raised a hand to touch his lips, a finger sliding on his lower lip.

'Interesting…'

I know, I know, it needs a sequel. I KNOW. And I plan to write it as soon, as I can, but that will take some time, because I started KnB and yeah, you know how it is. But after I'm finished with it, I'll get back into SnK and write the sequel, I promise!

But how was it? Any comments? Oh, and btw, I want to clear up some things. I know that many people think that Rivaille is this violent thug and there's nothing more pleasurable for him than beating Eren, but actually THAT'S NOT TRUE. He may be violent, that's in his nature, I'd say, but he never allows himself to act on those impulses without any reason. At Eren's hearing he had more than one, and after that he was, scared may be too big of a word, concerned what Eren thought about him, and then he was relieved that the kid didn't hate him for that. Here, in my fic, I portrayed him just as that, beating Eren without any reason, just because he felt like it and that made Rivaille feel disgusted with himself, and I truely believe that would be the same reaction he'd have in the manga. So yes, Rivaille is violent, but NO, he doesn't enjoy the others' pain and he's not a sadist.

Ugh, okay, that was kinda long -.-' Sorry about that, but I had to get it off my chest. Now, reviews~?