Warnings: THIS HAS EXPLICIT MAN SEX, very explicit. So if that is not your thing, don't read it.
I am so sorry for this. This was a one-shot that turned into a PWP...uhhhh, yeah. I tried to stick with the theme, but I feel like it kinda got lost in the hot sex. So yeah...enjoy.
Oh and forgive me for any errors, I didn't run this by my beta because she's being so lovely about helping me with my other story that she can't be bothered with all my pr0n.
All The Things I Say While You're Asleep
Really, it's not that I'm incapable of saying them aloud. Because I'm not, it's very much within my power to say them. But I just don't want to. Or, rather, I know he doesn't want to hear them. He felt that our bodies and our actions said more than we could ever express with our words. I believe that too. But I also believe that there is nothing so romantic as a sonnet. Sometimes words can't express what we feel, for what we feel is so profound that there isn't a word in any language that can encompass it. But, sometimes words are the only thing I have. When my body is tired or I'm feeling low, words work wonders. They touch the mind and soul in a way many things cannot. Words are more powerful than we ever give them credit for, even if he liked to pretend they were useless. He liked to pretend that what I said didn't matter, as I long as I followed through with my actions. I know better, he loves my small praises. They're few and far between because he pretends to hate my words, but I always see the small smile that graces his face when I say them.
What he doesn't know (or probably does, knowing him) is that there is a whole arsenal of praising and adoring words stored in my mind that I can't unleash on him...when he's awake. I figured out sometime in the beginning of our relationship that, despite his years as spy, he is quite the heavy sleeper. At first, this meant little to me. But, then I realized I could take advantage of it. When the words of love get so heavy on my tongue that they feel like they are about choke me, I simply turn to his sleeping form and say them. He can't scold me if he doesn't really hear me. One would think that the words would lose meaning, saying them to a sleeping man. But, I like to believe that I tap into his dreams and that he hears me anyway. Even if that's not the case, I just like being able to say all the things in my head aloud. It makes them more real. In the moment, when the words are spilling from my mouth, the love in my heart swells and becomes sweeter. Those are moments I cherish; moments like this one, right now.
"I don't know when you stopped being ugly," I say to his sleeping face. "I just know that one day, I looked up from my potions essay and thought, 'wow, he is gorgeous.' Of course, back then, the thought scared the pants off me. You were Snape, greasy and ugly and mean Snape. But that was never true. You were beautiful, you always had been, even back then. Especially now," I sigh, pushing some hair that falls into his face, back behind his ear. "I guess other would say I'm biased, what with having that gorgeous cock of yours shoved my arse on a nightly basis. But, I can't imagine anyone thinking you're ugly. Not now, anyway. Amazingly hot sex or no, I feel like your beauty is something obvious, something everyone can see."
He shifts slightly, turning his head away from me. I'm okay with this. I continue to talk to the back of his head.
"More rationally, I know that's not true. I know that whatever shifted in my brain all those years ago that made you go from ugly to ethereal is something that stayed the same in everyone else's brain. I know they still look at you and see what I used to see. But I don't even remember what I used to see. It's been replaced by this," I gesture to his sleeping form. "This beautiful creature that you are and I can't fathom how I ever saw you as ugly. I mean, okay, you're hair hasn't always been the cleanest, but that's different now. Your nose is a bit big, but it looks good on you. Maybe your teeth are bit crooked, but who cares about teeth when you've got a beautiful face to look at? It doesn't make sense to me, calling you ugly."
I shift closer to him and wrap an arm around his slim waist, pulling him closer to my body. The way our bodies fit together at every angle takes my breath away. I tuck my face into his neck and begin to whisper the words just below his ear.
"Your skin feels so good against mine, Sev," I whisper, relishing the feeling of our bodies being pressed together. "God, I hate that you don't let me talk during sex. If you did, you'd hear how much I love it, how good it feels for me. It's indescribable, Sev, the feeling of you. The feeling of you inside me, moving in me, it's a pleasure like no other. But it's more than just raw pleasure, it's much more than that. It's the feeling of being complete. When you fill me up, my god Sev, it's like the stars align. Everything makes sense. The way we fit together so perfectly and I just want to grind into you until our bones melt together. I want you to be in me, every single inch. I want there to be nothing left between us, I want our hearts and our minds and souls to touch. I want to be a part of you."
I pull away slightly, palming my swelling erection. I'll have to wake him up eventually, so that I can indulge in the pleasure I'm talking about. But, for now, I let him sleep while I whisper sweet words to him.
"Everything about you, Sev, everything is wonderful. You're so smart, it blows me away sometimes. And your voice, god your voice. Your voice is like...fucking hell Sev, I can't even describe it. I bet you could make me cum with just the sound of your voice. And you're so witty, even when you're buried balls deep inside me, you still have the brainpower to make snide comments. You know, most people would find that annoying, but I don't. It's actually a huge turn on. God, you're so sexy. I mean, absolutely drop-dead sexy."
My previous stream of loving words is cut-off by my sudden need to have this man inside me. I sigh, I usually like to drag it out, say wonderfully heartfelt words until the early hours of the morning. But sometimes, I get carried away, like right now.
"You're so beautiful when you sleep." I'm panting now because my cock is pressed into his side and if I don't get relief soon, I'm going to go crazy. "Sev, wake up." He stirs minutely. "Sev, love, wake up. Please wake up." He mumbles and his eyes flutter open.
"What is it, Potter?" He snaps. The quick transition from sleep-dazed to alert is the only tell that he's ever been a spy.
"I need you," I whimper, pressing my throbbing erection into his side more insistently.
The ire in his eyes is suddenly gone as his pupils dilate, the black spilling into the iris around it. The onyx eyes become darker and he pulls me to him.
"You are such a cockslut, Potter. Can't get enough of me," He growls as he attacks my neck with fierce kisses.
Any of the tenderness we usually have is nonexistent in these late night fucks. When it's like this, I'm needy and wanting and he's harsh and demanding. I adore it when we make love, but the brutal fucks are wonderful in a way that lovemaking can't be.
"God, Severus, fuck me hard and fast," I demand. "Don't hold back." He groans slightly into my neck before bringing his lips up to meet mine in a bruising kiss. It's my signal to shut up. And I do, because no matter how much I love words, I know that I don't need them here.
He moves away to get the lube. But I stop him, I need to feel him tonight. I need to know all those things words can't say. I know it's going to hurt in the morning. But, I can't wait, I'm too crazed with lust. He looks at me, wild eyed as I straddle his hips. I steady his erect cock at my entrance. He gasps slightly as he realizes what I'm about to do. Without prep, even with fingers and spit, I lower myself onto his cock. He groans. I hiss, the burn is intense. He stays still, something I'm thankful for. He knows how much this must hurt. But I like it, the burn is a reminder that he is in me. There is nothing to dull the sensation of having him in me. I feel every painful inch of his beautiful cock in my arse. It's...a feeling beyond words. I snort slightly at this thought, earning me an arched eyebrow. I just shrug and press a kiss to his lips.
"Sev," I gasp as I pull away. "It feels...wonderful." It's the only word I can think of and I feel like I need some word to describe it. I hiss again as I begin to roll my hips into his. He groans throatily and grabs at my sides.
My pace is slow, trying to loosen myself so that I can really begin to ride him. I stop rolling my hips, causing Severus to buck up into me. I steady myself, placing my hands on his chest. I shudder because I know what I'm about to do will hurt. I brace my thighs and lift myself up almost completely off his erect dick. I hover there for a moment, earning me a low growl from Severus. I smirk, then with no warning, I impale myself again. It hurts. I almost cry out from the pain. It feels as if his cock is tearing at my inner-walls. But it's a good pain, the best pain in the world.
I shudder and he grips my hips tightly. I lift up again and slam back down. The pain is the same but this time the head of his cock nails my prostate. Pleasure bursts through me, little lights going off behind my eyes. I let out a loud keening noise and Severus takes the hint. He lifts my hips up, almost off his cock, then begins to thrust upward. I groan as every thrust brings an intense mix of pleasure and pain. But as he repeatedly hits my prostate with unrelenting force, the pain is drowned out by wave after wave of pleasure.
I grip his shoulders and start meeting his thrusts with my own. My cock, which had wilted due to the pain of raw fucking, hardens with vigor. I bury my face in his neck as we thrust harshly against each other. He's panting and grunting and making delicious noises that shoot straight to my cock. I'm moaning loudly, biting his neck, and tangling my fingers through his long hair.
"Oh God!" I cry as he hits my prostate with so much force, I'm almost thrown off balance.
"No, just Severus," he grunts, not breaking pace. In other circumstances, I would have laughed, but he is pounding into me and I'm filled with obscene amounts of pleasure so all I can do is give him a wry grin and continue to slam down onto his dick.
He his thrusting up to me and I am slamming my body down to meet his and our skin is slapping together so hard, it's turning red. I know that I'll have bruises between my thighs tomorrow morning, but I'm placated, knowing that Severus will have matching bruises on his pelvis. I groan loudly as he leans up to suck on the juncture between my neck and my shoulder. It's a sweet spot.
"Sev," I whine. "I'm so close." He moves his hand, bringing it down to rest on my neglected erection, but I slap it away. "No. Make me cum...with," I gasp. "Your voice." Sometimes, even in this, I need words.
He groans into my neck, nodding.
"Cum for me, Harry," He commands, his voice pitched low and sultry. It sends shivers through my body and I feel my balls tighten. "Come on, my dirty little cockslut, don't you want to cum?" I shudder. "Cum for me, Harry, my love." That ends it. My balls tighten, almost painfully, and then I'm cumming, so hard that the world turns white for a second. Severus groans loudly and I know he's cum too. I wait for the world to tilt back into focus before looking down at him.
We're both breathing heavily and raggedly. I smile shakily at him and he brings my head down for a soft and tender kiss. I wince as I pull myself off of him, collapsing at his side.
"Are you okay?" He asks, and the concern in his voice makes me smile.
"Wonderful," I say for the second time that night.
Severus nods but when he looks down at his, now sated, dick he notices a few droplets of blood.
"Oh god Harry," he groans exasperatedly. "You should have let me prep you. Come on, let's go take care of you." He makes to get out of them bed, but I pull him down, shutting him up with a kiss because I'm tired of his words.
"Tomorrow," I state as I pull away. He makes to protest, but I cut him off. "It won't get any worse overnight. Plus, I like the burn. It reminds me of you." He looks unhappy, but he lays back down in the bed. Tonight, we are done with words...well he is, at least.
To my relief, he falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. I smile. I curl into him, resting my head on his chest. I listen to the slow sounds of his breathing. Of all the things I like to say while he's sleeping, there's one thing that takes the cake. The one thing he'll never let me say while he's conscious.
"I love you."