BLOG FAIRY

And So It Ends

I used to wake up everyday and wonder if my day would be any different than the day before. It used to depress me quite a bit so I'd get up and puff on a cigarette until my mood lightened. After that, I'd strum the same soft tune on my guitar and come up with excuses not to get dressed out of my pajamas. Days get real long that way. I'd always look up at the clock and notice that time had once again left me behind, doing the same thing I had done yesterday and the day before that. Being alone seemed to be a curse of city life.

Now, I have Lovino and everything's different. I never wake up, I'm woken up. The first thing I see when I open my eyes is a happy little face, searching for signs of life on my face. Everyday, he is waiting for me, happy to be with me again. He looks up to me and turns to me for help. He's my everything. I want to be a good man for the world but even more, I want to be a great man for him.

Now, I've been contemplating how I would end my story. It deserves more than a simple 'the end' but it's too simple for 'and they lived happily ever after'. It has to be laid to sleep in a way that won't over complicate it or not bring it proper homage. I may have found away but you'll have to be patient with me. Like I said, I'm not a very good story teller.

When I was awoken, Lovino was straddling my chest and trying to break my rib cage with the pure pressure he was inflicting on me. I noticed that something was wrong instantly. He was too happy. I checked the door to make sure he hadn't gotten out. Last night, I taped it in such a way that would alert me if the little thief had snuck out to see his presents. Thankfully, it was still closed and the tape was intact. When I looked to his big smile, I got my answer. Electric blue sugar was stained into the crevasses of his teeth. I sat up, frowning at him. "Lovi, were you eating candy?"

The boy's smile instantly fell and his lips shut into a thin line. He shook his head but the guilt was obvious on his face.

"Are you lying to me?" I countered, getting on my serious face.

He looked everywhere but into my eyes and refused to answer my question.

"Lovi…" I scolded and even gasped slightly to seem like I was surprised by this act of defiance but I wasn't. I should have known that if I let him bring he's treats into the room, he'd eat them. I just knew he was going to hit a major candy hangover in mass.

"It's none of your business." He spat and crossed his arms. Just then, I noticed that his elbow was stinging bright red.

I took his arm and tenderly ran my fingers over it. He tried to take the limb back but I held it where it was. "You hit it?" I asked.

He examined the blemish. "Just a bit."

"Where?"

He pointed to the wooden bed post.

"How long have you been up?" I asked.

"Since…" He looked at the clock and studied it, trying to read the tick marks. I had a digital clock but he preferred to practice his skills. "Since the short hand was here." He got up and jammed his finger at the digit right of twelve.

"One? Why?"

"You said that the Sanna man came here," He pointed to the twelve, "So I woke up here to make a wish." He pointed back to the one.

"Oh? What did you wish for?" For just a moment, I had hope that he was finally understanding Christmas.

"A dead Sanna." He replied carelessly.

"What? You can't do that!"

"Yes I can~"

"Then I wish for a not dead Santa!"

"Too late, I already wished for a dead one."

I sat up in bed. "I don't want a dead Santa! Take it back!" I have to admit, there was still a child living inside of me when it came to Christmas.

"Nope." He said gloatingly.

"I'm…" I stopped, noticing how stupid the argument was. I sighed and patted his head. It was my way of telling him 'alright, you win for now'. I read the glowing florescent numbers on the bedside table. It was four o'clock. We had to be at St. John the devine's church in two hours, which left just enough time for presents. "Should we go see if Santa came?" I asked. The boy's eyes perked up just slightly.

"He didn't." He grumbled but shuffled to the door anyways. I peeled of the tape and let him take care of the rest. He cautiously opened the door and peeked out, nothing seemed too different. "He didn't come." He told me. I could tell from his voice that the little bit of hope in his heart had been smothered.

"Go out and see." I encouraged, nudging him out.

He was skeptical to say the least. His steps were soft and careful as if he feared an attack from the fat man. The first thing he noticed was that the milk and cookies were gone. He gasped and looked closer at the plate to make sure. When he turned back to me, he had completely transformed into a child. "He was here!" He whispered with excitement.

There was nothing that could have made me happier at that moment then his face. He had just proven that magic exists. He instantly fled to the tree and squealed when he saw the nicely wrapped gifts. Green, silver, red, and gold papers decorated each box. On the tree hung a little ornament that hadn't been there last night. It was a blue giraffe that said, 'My First Christmas' and scrolled under that in beautiful cursive was the name 'Lovino'. I had a hell of a time finding one with out a baby on it.

He snatched it off the tree and held it close to his face, sounding out the words. "Mm..my….fii-rst… cuh-rist-mazee?"

"Christmas." I corrected. "My first Cristmas."

He nodded and looked gave his attention the last word. "Lll-oh-v- oh! This is my name! It's for me!" He cried, proudly putting it back on the tree so that he could admire it.

I handed him a present. "Open it." I instructed.

He took it from me and obeyed. It was a box of lentil soup. His questioning eyes met mine. I told him to open the bow and he did. Inside, he found a little, plastic, green tree. "What's it do?" He asked.

"I dunno." I lied. "Set it down and we'll find out."

He did as he was told and set it on the table. I found a switch on the trunk and flipped it. The toy began to spin slowly and play we wish you a merry Christmas in it's music box chimes. Lovino's face lit up.

He looked closer, noticing a little hatch. When he undid it, the top half of the tree opened and a tiny, little, fat man on a spring stood up, rotating with the tree. "Looks like it's a music box." I said. The boy watched closely and even reach out to flick the Santa figure who stood right back up.

"It's for me?" He asked, awestruck.

"Mm-hm~ Like it?"

He nodded smiling wide.

He opened his next presents, a soccer ball, a red, knit scarf (his favorite shade of red), two sketch books, a movie (land of the apes) and lastly a t-shirt with the Game of thrones logo on it. Each time he opened a present, his smile got weaker and weaker until he was left with a shirt balled-up in his hands and tears welled-up in his eyes.

"Lovi? What's wrong?" I asked in panic. The presents weren't that bad, right?

"Nothing's wrong." He said softly, sniffling.

Oh please, Lovino doesn't cry over nothing. I scooted closer and put my arms around him, witch usually helped. "Common, it's Christmas. Be happy."

"I am happy…" Droplets finally fell but he wiped them up before they could get much farther than his cheeks.

I decided to not question him on this. If he had to cry, then he would cry and it's not my place to ask why.

"These presents…they're from you, aren't they." He whispered. I didn't answer. He mumbled something that could almost be made out as a 'thank you'.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He pulled out of my arms. "I love them…" Another tear broke free and he again swiped at it with his sleeve. "I…I don't think I should have these…"

That was when I finally understood his issue. He had this inner complex in which he always felt like he hadn't deserved something he had. "Lovino, I want to give those to you, it's fine."

He shoved the t-shirt into my hands and shook his head. "I don't want it." He lied.

"It's for you." I insisted, handing back but he wouldn't take it. He just looked down into his lap guiltily. "Loviii~" I whined but it didn't earn me any attention.

I crossed my legs and dragged the depressed boy into my lap, like I had done so many times before. "You're beautiful." I whispered. He shook his head again but I persisted. "And you're smart and exciting and I love you." I added. I was just going to have to drown out any voices of doubt that the poor boy had.

"I give you presents because I like to see you smile and I want you to be happy. You're special…are you listening?"

"Stop." He whimpered.

"I only say these things because I lo-"

"Stop." He insisted but louder. "You're so kind to me… but I can't even say that one thing back to you. I know how much you want to hear it but I'm too afraid to admit it."

"You don't have to say it Lovi, it's fine."

"It's not. I shouldn't be afraid to commit to those words… I mean…I do feel that way."

"See, that's all I need. You don't have to push yourself, I'm patient-"

"Shut up." He scolded and began to pace his breath. I heard his lips moving as he recited what he wanted to say. It was the hardest thing in the world for him to do, I knew that. He tried saying it a few times but all that came out were strained whispers.

"Lovino, you-"

"Shut up!" He scolded again, shutting his eyes in concentration. This time I obeyed. "I…ah-y….lllllll" He took a deep breath. "Um…..I-uh…" I gently took his face and turned it so that we were looking right at each other. I opened up a gentle yet encouraging smile for him. Red slowly filtered into his cheeks and then one slight whisper escaped his lips as pure instinct. "I love you."

So small and so soft, it might have not existed but I knew that it had. He had said it. My ears picked up each of the three words perfectly, each sound was annunciated and etched into my mind so that I could replay it any time I wanted. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I had been holding in.

He was surprised with himself as well. A proud smile just barely made itself visible under the embarrassment.

"I love you too." I answered. I had been waiting so long to say that to him.

"Just kiss me, dammit." He growled and looked away, pretending like he didn't care. God, I love him so much.

I chuckled and pressed my lips to his. He reciprocated the action, kissing me back. Of course, moments like these don't live long. With one big huff, Lovino blew into my mouth and my cheeks puffed up like a guppy. The little one burst out into laughter and I was left, stunned.

I was about to pumble him and nuggie his brain out but once I saw how he was laughing, I changed my mind.

"You get away with that only because it's Christmas." I told him.

He was suddenly reminded of something. He got up, threatening me to stay put and trotted off to the room. When he came back he held a ball of… something. I'm not actually sure. It was wrapped messily in a hundred sheets of computer paper and tape made loops around it, desperate to hold the wrapping together. He set it down in front of me and handed me a card.

My attention was first taken with the card. On the front, it displayed the beautiful portrait of a woman that I recognized from an advertisement I had seen somewhere or another. "Wow, Lovi! This is amazing!"

"Open it~" He insisted and awaited my reaction. Inside was a sketch that just about stopped my heart…it was a memory… it was my memory! I knew this scene! In the picture, the backs of an older couple on a park bench were shown. As I looked at it, I remembered more. It was the couple I saw the day I decided to break up with Bella. I quickly flipped back to the front of the card and looked at the girl closer. She may not have the same face but the shoulder length hair and bow were undeniable. It was Bella!

I faced the card towards the fairy. "Who is this?" I asked in complete shock. Perhaps the boy had secret powers I had never known about.

He became hurt as he noticed that I wasn't happy with what he had made. "I-it's a girl!" He defended.

"How do you know this girl, Lovi?" I clarified.

"She was in a magazine!" He said, knowing I was asking about more than that. "A-and…I saw her…"

"Where? Where did you see her?" I tried not to sound as upset as I must seem. It's just… I didn't want him to know about her. Maybe it was just another one of my attempts to keep him a child… I didn't want him to know that had loved her.

"Why is she so important to you!?" He asked and I could sense that he was offended. He must feel betrayed that I would make such a fuss after just seeing her. I took a breath to calm myself.

"She's not. Look, I love your card, it's lovely but… this girl is…"

"Somebody that you used to love, I know."

"You do?'

"Mm-hm. When we bonded," He held up his thumb as a reminder, "I saw all the people who you've learned love from. I saw your parents and your grandfather and you aunt and her. Those are the people I have to thank for making you you. And she was one of your strongest memories." He opened the card to the couple. "And this is where my story begins." He flipped it back and forth so I could see the transition. Lastly, he flipped the card to the back side where there was a stick figure fairy with a curly-cue sitting atop his head. "And this is me." He said with a blush. It must have been pretty embarrassing for him to draw himself. "It's a story." He handed me the card.

Now I could fully appreciate his gift. There were no words, just the three pictures that silently told the story of my trials and errors in love. "I think…" I showed him the scribble fairy, "That you are far, far more beautiful than this."

He smiled slightly and took the card back, showing me the portrait in the front. "More beautiful that this?" He asked, testing me.

Now look, Bella is important to me and I don't want to say anything behind her back buuuut… "Yes, more beautiful~" I answered and pecked my lips against his. "Thank you, I love it." I put the card down beside me and instead picked up the present. It was heavy. I began to rip off layer after layer of white parchment.

What was left in the end was a glass orb on a small clay pedestal that had been carved to look like the mammoth cement buildings were up hold the orb. Inside the glass was central park, dressed in its lovely green leaves. Instead of snow, there was little confetti butterflies in every color. Lovino's present was better that all of mine combined times a hundred.

I was speechless. It was perfect. It had the skyline, the park, the tiny little butterflies that might have been misconstrued as being little fairies. "This is amazing! How…"

"Secret!" He demanded. A huge smile slopped over his goofy face. "Do you like it?"

"Ah, I love it!" I embraced him tightly. "And I love you! This is perfect, Lovino! Really!"

He let out a high-pitched whine. Either it was because I was squeezing the life out of his lungs or because he was excited to have given me something that I reacted so well to. Just to be safe, I let go. His smile had not, in any way, lessened.

I shook it and little butterflies took flight, wildly fluttering up to the top of their glass world then loosing power and drifting back down until they were asleep in piles at the base. I set it down only so that I could use two hands when grabbling his face and kissing every inch of it. Naturally, he complained and fought me but he must not hate it that much or he wouldn't be smiling.

We put the presents away (Lovino made me promise that we'd play soccer with his new ball later) and grabbed breakfast-to-go which was a banana for me and a poptart for him. It's good to have food when recovering from the most dramatic present opening I had even taken part in. We seem to have a lot of moments like that. Somebody should write a story about us…never mind, it would be a really shitty story.

"Ready to go?" I asked when he finally came out of the room, wearing the same suit as yesterday. We didn't have time to wash them, we barely had time to wash his hair last night and we also didn't have multiple suits. Normally, I'd just let him go in dress clothes but Christmas morning mass is kind of a big deal.

"I guess." He answered, a little sore about having to wear it again.

"Change of clothes?"

He held up a plastic bag.

"Good. Aw, you look so hansom~"

"Where's my poptart?" He demanded, ignoring the comment.

I handed the silver package to him. "You're going to get fat if you keep eating those."

"Good." He grumbled and removed them from the package.

"Common, let's go." I chuckled and left with Lovino at my side. It took us a good long time to finally hail a cab. Unfortunately, my bike could only fit one so there weren't many other options. Traffic was god awful. Everybody was going to the park or to visit relatives. We got to the church half an hour before the mass was scheduled to begin. The place was already packed. The only room left was the rafters if we could some how spidey-swing up there. There was some space to squeeze in the aisles. Fire safety codes sort of gave up today, seeing as the building was crowded wall to wall and there was no way to control the masses. If any one of the many candles were to catch a drape, then there wasn't much else to do. Merry Christmas and a happy fiery death.

In my coat pockets, I had a handful of mints and a rubik cube. The colorful toy was given to Lovino to amuse him while we waited but the candies remained hidden. I'd need them if Lovino decided to get talkative during the mass. There was no helping it, he was a boy who enjoyed his freedom and didn't quite understand social norms. Therefore, he was very talkative.

We waited and waited, the cathedral became louder and louder with chatter. Beside us was a mother who was showing her young son how to find versus in the bible. She'd give him a verse and he'd do his best to hunt it down. He flipped pages and counted lines but he most always failed. She promised that he'd improve with practice. On the other side of us were two young girls who were watching Lovino attack his rubik cube with amusement. They seemed to be in their late teen years, maybe seventeen or eighteen. They weren't just watching though, they were checking out. I heard one whisper cute and the other replied with something about funny.

I resisted the urge to kiss him and claim him as mine, it might offend the people around us. Now believe me, I've met plenty of perfectly accepting Christian people but there was always one or two with picket signs that read something like 'god hates you' or the like. If I could help it, Lovino wouldn't have to be exposed to people like that. I kept my cool.

Then, Mary and Anna, as they introduced themselves, both shook hands with the confused fairy. It's not his fault that people notice his looks. He greeted them back and introduced himself in a gentlemanly way as I had taught him.

"Lovino… is that Spanish? Where are you from?" Anna asked, followed by Mary who also requested that this secret be told. Lovino glanced at be out of instinct. By now, he knew how to answer personal questions. He told them that he came from Italy. The girls swooned.

"How long have you lived in America then?" Mary, the one with long chocolate braids asked. The only reason I was noticing her hair was because she so often smoothed them over her shoulders in an attempt to flatter Lovino but he didn't seem to notice her efforts.

"I've been here for five years." He answered before being bombarded with questions like 'have you been to Washington?' and 'You ought to see the Redwood forest.' And even, 'Disneyland then?'. This time, Lovino was overwhelmed. These girls didn't know how to talk to him. They didn't know that he couldn't handle more than one new concept at a time or that his ears would perk up and his brows would drop when he was becoming confused. I shook my head so he did the same and turned his attention back to the Rubik cube. This was a sign that he was becoming nervous.

"Are you a regular here?" Questioned the blonde one of the two, Anna.

When Lovino looked to me for help, his face was even more desperate than before.

"Calm down." I whispered into his ear. "Don't get nervous. You don't want the ladies to think that you don't like them, do you?" He shook his head. "Then, talk to them." He gave me a nervous nod and turned back to the girls. In that instant, the charm turned on…I taught him that. I want my gravestone to read: 'Here lies Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, he made Lovino the most charming man on this side of the world.'

The fairy apologized to the girl and flipped up a sly smirk, drawing his fingers through his hair. Okay, well, actually I just made him a big flirt. The three carried on a jovial conversation about god knows what.

Mass didn't start much later. Anna and Mary bid good bye to the boy and left to join their mother. Once they left, Lovino tuned to me with a big smile dressing his face. "I made friends!" He cried with excitement for this life-changing moment.

"Mm-hm." I patted his head once before explaining the concept of silence during a sermon. He didn't like that idea so much, he's not really a behaving kind of person. Whenever he'd gone to church before, he was allowed to talk to himself or pray out loud because the staff had perfect reason to believe that he was mentally handicapped.

The priest arrived in front of the congression and spoke holy words in his big, holy-word-speaking voice like all priests do. None of them talk like normal which makes it weird when you shake their hand on your way out and they're suddenly normal people. We were lucky enough to have a place where we could lean ourselves against the mammoth sized pillars to relieve the weariness of standing.

Lovino found it impossible to remain in silence. He continuously waved me down to his height so he could whisper with complaints about how I was too tall or how he didn't understand why Mary wasn't killed for being pregnant without a husband. I told him over and over that if he would just listen to the story, he'd have his answers. "Why won't the inn keeper let Mary in?" He asked.

"Well," I eyed around to make sure no one seemed too annoyed by our interruptions, "Because there isn't any room left. If you just listen-"

"Is it because it's Christmas so everyone is traveling?"

"No."

"But isn't it Christmas?"

"Yes…but not yet."

"Because baby Genius isn't born yet?"

"That's right."

"Can't Mary just tell him that she has the prince? Then he'd listen."

"But he wouldn't believe her."

"Why not?"

"Because that's a crazy thing to say. Look, if you just pay attention-"

"Why doesn't Joseph make somebody leave? That's what a good husband would do."

"What? No it's not. Joseph isn't Mary's husband anyways."

"But God said he had to be."

"Alright, how about this." I reached into my coat pocket and produced a butterscotch drop. He shut up that moment and hungrily popped the candy into his mouth. I had to give him four more through the duration of the mass but he was quiet none the less and we got all the way through the nativity.

Lovino strongly insisted that we wait in the line to shake hands with the priest but I knew for a fact he wanted to ask something strange and probably crude and offensive.

"How about we just go home." I offered as we waited patiently.

"I do what I want." He said in his usual spunky, spit-fire way.

"I bet traffic's getting real brutal…"

"But we'll be in one of the yellow cars."

"Yeah, and?"

"Those ones don't have to listen to the rules so we'll just go straight through the lights. I'm sure that'll cut time."

"No, they still have to pay attention to the rules."

"Yeah but they don't."

"True."

"So we can stay?"

"Does my opinion really matter?"

"Not really. You won't leave me here."

Damn him, he already knew how to walk all over me. I smiled and settled for his answer, focusing my attention on the relaxing wir of cars speeding by on the street outside and the gurgles of the obesity-ridden pigeons. "You're not going to ask the priest anything, are you?" I asked sheepishly as we neared the end of the line.

"No." He answered in his lying voice.

"What are you going to ask."

"That's between me and him."

There's really no point trying to fight him when his mind's made up. "Look, there's something I need to tell you."

"About what?"

"About us…and this church…"

"They don't like people like us, I know. A man shall not share a bed with another man, it's in the book but they must be wrong."

"Not everybody thinks that way-"

He stopped me right there and turned to me, sharing one of his rare sincere smiles. "God loves you, the book says that a lot. I don't fear him. In the book, it's said that we should rejoice our love and do so with God so why would I be afraid?"

"Because people aren't God. They're people." I told him, using my tone to emphasize my seriousness.

"Don't worry." He dismissed and looked forward. "You trust to little."

"You thought Santa was the work of the devil."

"I come from a society where the only people coming into your house in the middle of the night are people who do the work of the devil."

"I don't understand you, oh dearest."

"Nor should you, oh love of mine." He mocked in return. I'm sure he drank the carton of eggnog in the fridge. We made it fairly painlessly to the front of the line. I shook the priest's hand first then anxiously watched and hoped that Lovino would do the same.

They shook hands and exchanged smiles and the boy motioned for the other to lower to whispering height. He did so, hesitantly, and listen to what the fairy had to say. When they parted, the man looked at Lovino then over to me then back to Lovino. I couldn't hear the exchange of words. One friend paped the other on the shoulder, they smiled and left each other with a thin hope of "May God be with you."

"How'd it go?" I asked the younger once he returned to my side. "What did you ask?"

"Patience is not your strong suit."

"What did you ask?" I pried.

"Let's go home."

"Loviiii~"

"I want to watch the cartoon holiday specials."

I grumbled with frustration but the feeling was quickly dismissed when I was released back into the cold wind and became more concerned in preserving warmth. Lovino pulled his hat snuggly over his ears. "Y'know, you're going to have to start telling me things. Believe it or not, I'm going to marry you some day and communication is key to a healthy relationship." I got that out of a magazine.

"What if I say no?"

"You expect me to ask?"

"You expect me to accept?"

"Maybe I do. Maybe I thought you loved me."

"You're sorely mistaken, my friend."

"That contradicts what you told me this morning."

"Shut up."

"So you'll say yes?"

"Fat chance."

"If I did ask… would you consider it?"

A little warm hand wrapped snuggly into mine, opening my world to him and brightening the sky by just one tint of foggy blue. "Maybe…I would…" He whispered, pinkness dusting over his cheeks and his one-of-a-kind smile poking out from under his bushy scarf. I gripped the hand back with the intent to never let it go. We walked together, savoring the calm silence and the satisfaction of reciprocated love.

I won't say that's the end of the story because it didn't end there. Nothing ever starts or ends where you think it will. Time goes on, love blooms and wilts and the story always continues.

(Thank you all for reading. This story means a lot to me and it means even more now that I've shared it with you all.)

(P.S. Do you like zombies and Spamano? Check out my new story. That's all, Thanks.)