Title: Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith (But Totally Not)
Characters/Pairings: Aomine/Kuroko; Momoi, Kagami, Alex, Imayoshi, Susa, Wakamatsu, Sakurai
Summary: The one where Aomine's a hitman and Momoi's his handler and Kuroko is his target, and y'see, that's where it all gets kinda complicated...
Notes: Adult for smut and Hollywood-style violence. You know that movie with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Kinda like that. But not. (Crossposting from AO3 now that the draft is complete and I know how everything ends up.)

Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith (But Totally Not)

Now

"This one will be easy, you said. Practically a cakewalk, you said. No problems at all, you said. Hah!" Satsuki jammed a fresh magazine into her Beretta, took a breath, and then threw herself around the corner, firing steadily to cover her retreat.

Dai-chan moved with her, taking advantage of her fire to holler, "Look, can't we just talk about this?" in the direction of the building across the street.

The only answer was the whine of the bullet that clipped the bricks just above his head as they took cover in the alley.

"I'm guessing that was a no," Satsuki told him, running the terrain of the neighborhood through her head, searching for a way to evade both their sniper and the approaching wail of police sirens. "Honestly, Dai-chan, what have I told you about sleeping with your targets?"

At least he had the good grace to hang his head and look apologetic. "It was an accident, okay? I didn't know he was the fucking Ghost back when I slept with him!"

"Only you, Dai-chan," Satsuki sighed as the wail of the police sirens got louder and another bullet smacked into the bricks above their heads—so much for the idea that they might be able to head up the fire escapes and across the roofs. "If we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you myself."

Dai-chan just grinned at her. "That's what you always say," he told her.

"This time I mean it," she said, coming to a reluctant conclusion—it was going to have to be through the sewers, wasn't it? "Make yourself useful and pry up that manhole cover for me."

He only wrinkled his nose in distaste before stooping to apply that brute strength of his to the task. "So, hey," he said, grunting as he levered the cover up and rolled it aside. "You think me and him could work it out, maybe?"

"You are such an idiot," Satsuki said, peering down into the darkness of the sewer, estimating the distance down to the water below. She grimaced. She really was going to take the cost of her boots out of his hide.

"I'm just saying," he said, elbowing her aside and dropping himself down into the sewer ahead of her. His voice echoed up to her. "I think him and me, we really had a connection."

"Why do I even work with you?" Satsuki sighed as she lowered herself through the opening after him, and let him catch her as she fell.

Dai-chan just laughed and lowered her the rest of the way down. "Be careful, it's slippery," he warned her as she paused to get her bearings and retrieve the flashlight from her bag. She pointed it down the narrow tunnel and set off, splashing through the water and things that she was going to pretend were water, too. "Seriously, though—do you think...?"

"That you can work things out with the Ghost, who you slept with ages ago and never called, and were just assigned to kill, and who wants you dead?" Satsuki asked as he sloshed around behind her. "Sure, Dai-chan. Why not?"

She would have sworn that she could hear his grin. "You do? Great, that's what I was thinking."

"I am going to shoot you in the kneecaps and leave you down here for the rats, I swear," Satsuki told him, but the threat only made him laugh and start telling her his plans for getting back into the Ghost's good graces.