Hey! So, I thought, I love Hellsing x Twilight crossovers, so, why not write one? Warning, I used to be a Twilight fan. Forgive me, I was a preteen girl and had no idea! I think at the time, I had tried watching Hellsing once and it scared me, which says a lot because I have never been scared of gore and such. I guess you could say Twilight got me into 'vampires' and Hellsing got me into REAL vampires. SO...yeah, as with most Hellsing/Twilight stories, it is anti-Twilight. It is also educated anti-twilight.

London, Midday:

The Cullens stepped out onto the London street, looking up at the beautifully cloudy sky. Their flight had just landed and they had decided to spend their third vacation night out here, on a street lined with stores, at Alice's request. Rosalie hadn't protested, and so Emmet agreed as well.

Carlisle grabbed Alice's arm as she tried to drag Bella off to the nearest clothing store, "Let us meet back here an hour sunset. We need to check into the hotel." She nodded and hurried off with Jasper and Edward in tow.

Hellsing HQ, Shortly after sunset:

"Alucard, I have a mission for you."

"Oh really, and what will that be, my master?" The No Life King smirked, "I thought you already sent the Police Girl out."

"I did, I have just gotten in some strange reports I need you to investigate," Sir Integra clarified, shuffling through the files she had just been reading before the vampire had walked through her wall, "Yesterday, several wild animals were discovered in the woods nearest to London. It appears that they have been completely drained of blood."

Alucard took the file he was handed and examined it, "I would say it was the work of a vampire, had they turned into ghouls."

Integra nodded, "Do your kind even drink animal blood?"

The vampire made a face, "We can. What is beyond me why any would drink animal blood when so close to so many humans. Supernatural animals are one thing, such as Baskerville, but normal animals are quite another. We can survive off of them but can hardly thrive. Besides, they taste vile."

The Hellsing director shook her head, "Your orders are as follows, investigate and learn all you can about this strange occurrence. Find the one responsible, question them, then, if they are a vampire, destroy them."

"Yes, my master."
London, Approximately an hour after sunset:

"Rose, wait till you see what we got you!" Alice cried, seeing the last two Cullens, Rosalie and Emmet, trot back to the rest of them at a human's pace, "There was this dress, and as soon as I decided to buy it, I knew it would look lovely on you!"

The blond vampire smiled at her overly-cheerful sister, "Everything looks good on me."

"Isn't that the truth!" Emmet grinned, hooking his arm around Rosalie's waist.

"You do wear things quite nicely dear," Esme remarked, "But I think it's time we returned to the hotel, if only for a few hours to keep our little secret."

The Cullens turned and walking into the dark alleyway that was their shortcut to the hotel they had booked to keep up appearances and for sunny days. Yet, they soon found their path blocked by a very tall man dressed in a red duster coat and fedora hat with orange-tinted glasses. His already face-splitting grin widened at the sight of them. His deep voice reverberated slightly from the walls surrounding them,

"And just what that little secret be?"

Alucard stepped from the brick wall he had been leaning on. He lightly sniffed the air and frowned, "So, you're not human. You don't smell of blood."

Carlisle took a cautious step forward, "No, we're not. We're vampires." He didn't see the point in hiding it. The man had already figured out they were not human, so he must not be as well.

Alucard could not help but chuckle, "Oh really? Vampires smell of blood more than humans do, care to try again?" He paused, then sniffed the air again. Wait, there was something to them…a sent under their mint-like breath "Ah, you've tried to hide it, but I can still smell the stench of animal on you. So you were the ones who drank those animals dry."

"Yes," The Cullen clan leader admitted, "We are…'vegetarians', of a sort. We do not drink human blood."

The No Life King looked over the man in front of him for a moment. Seeing that he was serious, he burst out laughing. The others stared at him, not sure how to react to his maniacal laughter.

"Doesn't drink human blood? Has yellow eyes? Do you even burn in the sun?"

"No," Carlisle replied calmly.

"What?" Alucard's head snapped upright, hilarity forgotten, "What do you do then?"

"Our skin reflects the light."

"Like a mirror."

"Like a diamond."

Alucard snickered, then threw his head back, laughter returning tenfold. For many minutes, he could not speak. When he finally could again, he looked down, eyes glistening with amusement. "You mean to tell me you sparkle? HA! You may call yourself vampires, but there is no way you are Nosfaratu."

"And who and what are you to say we're not?" Emmet growled.

Alucard looked over to him, then pulled down his glasses, revealing his blood-red eyes, "What do you think I am?" He hissed, allowing his breath, filled with the stench of his recent meal to wash over them.

"You are like us then," Carlisle concluded.

"No," Alucard drew himself up, "I am nothing like you. My name is Alucard." With that, he flipped open a cell phone, speed dialing Hellsing's headquarters, "Master, I have encountered a problem."

'And what would that be, Alucard?'

"I have found the ones responsible for killing the animals, but they are not human. They are not Nosferatu either, though they claim to be."

'Bring them in then. We should see what these 'vampires' really are.'

"Yes, my master." He clicked the phone shut, eyeing the other 'vampires', "It seems you will have to come with me."

So, not sure how far I'm going to take this. I'd like to know from your reviews what you think. Should Alucard's Casull be able to shoot through the Twilight 'vampires'? I was considering how much fun Alucard would have both ways... make it interesting? I know the Jackal will be able to because, let's face it, if you get shot with the Jackal, you're not coming back up, even if you're Father Anderson. Go team Alucard! Cuz real vampires don't sparkle!