I used to love you, you know.

There was a time when all I would do was dream about you and me, together, you kissing me, you hugging me. I could feel your arms around me; your laughter tainted my dreams.

(and everyone would wonder, gasp, smile-)

I used to love you. But it's been too many years, too many tears, and try as I might, I can't get the feeling back. I used to love you, Kaito, but now I'm not so sure anymore.

oOo

He looks around the crowded square, London passerby sweeping him nearly off his feet. Straightening his cap over his messy locks of hair. Brushing invisible specks of dust off his impeccable suit-and-tie combination. Sticking his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on one foot, pacing around the marble fountain.

The clock strikes two. He told her to come at one, so that's alright—better one hour late than never.

It isn't until the clock strikes one again (this time in the middle of the night) that he realizes she isn't coming.

oOo

Aoko's busy today. The customers are just pouring in, looking for gifts and souvenirs and cheap treasures; the air is thick and heavy with suppressed excitement. She straightens the items on her makeup table.

(Buy one get one free! The sign proclaims. She wishes it applied to relationships—buy my love, and I'll get yours for free.)

She looks at the crinkled paper in her hand, slipped into her pocket while she was watching a streetside magic show. Fountain. 13:00. Be there.

She thinks of all the times he promised to show but never came and presses her lips together.

As if on cue, her phone begins to ring. Aoko nods to Arisa-chan, asking her to cover for Aoko for a little while. I won't be long, she mouths over her shoulder as she dashes toward the revolving glass doors.

Outside, she walks toward a marble pillar and leans back, wincing at the sudden coolness of the rock against her thin top.

(I didn't dress up today for him; I dressed up for myself)

"What is it?" she snaps. "I told you not to call me when—"

"Aoko-san?" the voice cuts in. "I was wondering…if you don't mind…"

"Kuroba-kun!" she blushes in surprise. "I'm sorry—I didn't know—I thought you were—"

He laughs. "I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch today? I know the best place to eat sandwiches by the river."

She giggles and then wrinkles her nose. "Isn't the river dirty?"

She can feel his smile through the phone. "It'll clean up especially for you, since you're coming. Anyway, I'll pick you up. So, does twelve sound okay to you?"

Aoko walks over to the trash can, throwing away the thin slip of paper. "Sounds perfect. I'll see you then!"

The man coughs suddenly. "Wait, Aoko-san! You—you really don't mind that…that I'm not Kaito-san?"

Aoko beams. It was just like him to actually care about what she wanted. "It's fine, Kuroba-kun. I lost contact with the other Kuroba-san a while back, anyway."

She hangs up. It doesn't matter if he's Kuroba Keichi and not Kuroba Kaito. They aren't even related.

Aoko smoothes down her skirt and swears that she isn't using Keichi as Kaito's replacement. (She is.)

oOo

"Hey," his roommate greets him as he stumbles into the room. Kaito blinks blearily at the dim light emitting from the TV.

"Why you still up?" he mumbles, slurring the words together. My feet ache so bad.

"Felt like watching a sci-fi marathon that was on. Tomorrow's Sunday, anyway. Still got one more day left to party," the other man shrugs. "Plus you had that date with that girl today, so I had nothing to do."

Kaito pauses, halfway in the process of taking off his shoes. "You know you could always get a life, right?"

Atsushi suddenly turns the TV off. "Hey, that was mean!"

Kaito cracks a weak grin. "It's true."

"I thought we had this bromance thing going on…"

"Love hurts. Deal with it—ow!" Kaito winces as he loses his balance, knocking the wooden rack of shoes onto his foot.

Atsushi studies him curiously, noting his roommate's unusual clumsiness. "You're one to say that." In a softer tone, he adds, "Did she not show up today, either?"

Kaito laughs bitterly. "Of course she came! We came and had great fun and ate ice cream cones! It's not like she was sitting with another man, drinking coffee and admiring the nonexistent beauty of the river! It's not like this is the seventh time she blew me off—oh wait, it is." He stomps into his side of the room and crashes into his bedside lamp. "Ow…."

Atsushi frowns. "Kuroba…"

"I know."

"Know what?"

"I'm turning into a cynical old geezer."

"I think you should just move on," Atsushi says carefully. "I mean, it's not like you couldn't get any girl you wanted."

Kaito's now entirely sprawled across his bed, hands behind his head, counting the bumps on the ceiling. "Funny how the only girl I want is the only one I can't have."

Atsushi sighs and rubs his forehead. "Kuroba, I really don't understand you sometimes. I mean, the first six times I just pegged you as being overly sentimental, but don't you think maybe she just doesn't feel that way anymore?"

Absolute silence.

"I mean, I know you guys were really close and all, but you did lose contact until you found her working here. Your grades are suffering. You barely eat anymore. I'm saying this for your own good but—"

"SHUT UP!" Kaito suddenly roars. "I don't want to hear this anymore. Not from you." He turns around, blue eyes blazing eerily in the darkness of the room. "I thought you were different from Hattori and Kudou. I thought you wouldn't judge before assessing the situation. I thought you were rational."

He strides to the front door before Atsushi can even blink, his lethal grace and deadly cunning once again back into place. "I guess I thought wrong."

The door slams. Atsushi groans. It's almost three in the morning, and he can only hope Kaito isn't going to get himself drunk silly or anything stupid like that. (He probably is.)

Shaking his head, Atsushi grabs his keys and shrugs on his coat. Tonight he'll settle for keeping Kuroba sober enough to keep himself from being robbed. "This Aoko girl better be something special," Atsushi mumbles half-heartedly. "If she doesn't show up the next time, I'll personally kidnap her and force her to meet Kuroba."

oOo

I'm not sure where we went wrong, Aoko.

I don't know if it was the dreams or your father or Kid coming in and stealing us all away. I'm sorry I made you wait for me.

But you didn't have to go and date someone else. You didn't have to hug him. You didn't have to gaze into his eyes like a spellstruck fangirl. You didn't have to wear that super low top, or that miniskirt, and you didn't have to lean into his arm like you did.

What if he decides to take you right then and there? He was practically drooling down your shirt. He isn't even HALF as good-looking as I am. He-

Aoko, I don't need an hour. I don't even need five minutes. Just let me meet you again. Just once.

I'll show you the magic you loved the most. Remember the trick with the doves? You told me to add roses, so I did. I have it down perfect now, Aoko. I promise the thorns won't get tangled up in your hair this time.

Please. Just once. Before you walk away.

oOo

"Aoko-chan! Aoko-chan, over here!" Yoko waves enthusiastically to her. "I saved you a spot!"

Aoko laughs and walks over to her younger co-worker. "Thanks. Now I can be in the front row of the lottery, watching you guys win all the prizes while I leave empty-handed."

Yoko pouts. "You've only been here for what, four months? That's only four lotteries! And there's so many of us! You'll definitely win something this time," she winks. Every month the Japanese section of the cosmetics department held a lottery, giving away free household items, luxury soap sets, various gift cards, and other valuables.

The excited murmuring died down as the department head walked up to the mini-podium with a large basket full of raffle tickets. Aoko sighs, tapping her feet against the tiled floor.

Sometimes she wonders what life would be like if she had just stayed in Japan, with all her high school classmates. After graduation, Aoko had opted to enroll at a small college specializing in fashion and cosmetics. Her mother had never been around to teach her anything of the sort, but a fifteen-year-old Aoko had learned from Kaito's mom that her mother had been a fashion designer.

Aoko didn't really have any special traits, and even less of a talent for fashion, but she did love to draw. After the fall of the Black Organization, Koizumi Akako had been more than happy to introduce her to the world of cosmetics. A series of transfers and internships led her to her current part-time job in London: working throughout the day and going to school in the night.

(But I still wonder what it would have been like if I stayed in Japan with him)

"Aoko-chan!" Yoko whispers urgently, jabbing her with her elbow.

Aoko blinks. "W-what?" The whole room is looking at her, and the department head's smile is beginning to look a bit strained.

"Nakamori Aoko-san?" Her supervisor repeats.

Aoko stumbles onto stage, offering a sheepish smile. "Thank you," she says clearly, taking the white envelope being held out to her.

The other woman clears her throat. "With that, the lottery for this month is over! Enjoy your prizes, and good luck next time!"

The murmuring of the crowd swells again, people shoving against each other to walk out of the narrow doors of the employee entrance. Aoko hangs back, turning the envelope over in her hand curiously and lifting the flap up gently.

Two airplane tickets to Japan smile innocently back at her. Aoko gasps and nearly drops them. They're just economy tickets, but Aoko has been saving up all semester to buy one.

She's the last one out, and her phone chooses to ring again.

"Kuroba-kun!" she shouts excitedly, one hand automatically going up to shield her eyes from the sun as she runs toward the front of the shopping complex. "I won two airplane tickets to Japan from the lottery! Do you want to-"

"Aoko." It's pronounced curtly, nothing like the way he used to call her.

The smile freezes on her face.

"What did you want to discuss with me?" she says coldly. Trust it to be Keichi when she thinks it's Kaito and Kaito when she thinks it's Keichi. "I told you not to call me."

"Aoko, I just want to-"

"I'm hanging up." She snaps her phone shut, telling herself the emptiness in her chest is because she wanted it to be Keichi.

oOo

Kaito shuffles down the street aimlessly, eyes unfocused and glassy.

(she's going back? Without me?)

Atsushi's words replay themselves in his head. Don't you think…maybe…she doesn't feel that way anymore?

He stops abruptly and slams his fist against the wall, scaring away the birds perched on a wire nearby. "I can't give up hope," he whispers. "They don't understand."

But deep inside of him, something breaks, and as he turns his head away he feels something wet touch his cheek.

oOo

He's holding her. She's snuggled against him, one hand resting on his chest, the other pressed against herself as she breathes in and out softly, dead to the world. She whispers something in her sleep and presses herself closer to him.

He finds himself red-faced and having trouble breathing. How am I supposed to sleep when you're…he takes in a deep breath and gulps, tearing his eyes away from her full lips. They wander back anyway.

He sighs. He shouldn't be taking advantage of her like this; he was her best friend and nothing more. She just wanted comfort and probably wouldn't even blush if she saw him this close to her.

As she shifts again, Kaito resists the urge to groan. Aoko, I'm a guy! Don't you realize that if you…his thought drifts off as her fingers entwine themselves in his hair. "I'm not a teddy bear," he grumbles out loud.

Despite his inner turmoil, Kaito can't stop a cheeky grin from spreading over his face. She trusts me.

That night, his dreams are the sweetest they've ever been.

oOo

That night, Aoko receives yet another phone call. "Kuroba oba-chan?" she says incredulously.

Chikage laughs. "How's my little girl doing?"

Aoko smiles with genuine delight. "Your little girl has just finished studying and is preparing to go to bed, oba-chan," she says warmly. "But did you have anything specific to ask me about?"

Chikage laughs softly. "I'm back in Japan! I just wanted to know when you're going to come back and visit this old bag of bones."

"Oba-chan, you'll always be the prettiest lady in the world to Aoko!" she replies. Glancing at the airplane tickets on her desk, Aoko hesitates. Oba-chan, Kaito and I aren't exactly on the best of terms right now…

"Well? When are you coming back?" the older woman prompts.

"I…uh…as a matter of fact, I won two tickets to Japan today from my workplace," Aoko says slowly, realizing what's going to come next.

"That's perfect!" Chikage squeals. "You can ask Kaito to come with you! When are you set to fly?"

Aoko bites her lip. "Oba-chan, I don't think…I mean, I don't know if…"

"Nonsense. I know Kaito would love to go with you! I think I'm starting to miss him, too."

Aoko laughs. "Oba-chan, you miss Aoko more than your own son?"

"I've always wanted a daughter, but I got him instead." Chikage purses her lips. "Anyway, I should let you sleep. See you soon!"

Aoko's eyes widen. "But oba-chan, I—" She groans when she realizes Chikage has already hung up. Oba-chan, I can't face him now. Not when I've just gotten settled.

She squares her shoulders. "I'll just have to persuade him to not come."

oOo

Atsushi growls in frustration when he hears Kaito's phone ringing. Idiot must have forgotten to take it with him—again. "Hello?" he says warily.

Silence. Then, "Is Kuroba-san there?"

Atsushi frowns. She doesn't sound like a fan, he muses. Could she be..?

"It's Nakamori Aoko," the voice says. "I need to talk to him."

Atsushi's eyes widen in shock. "Uh…oh…um, Nakamori-san? I'm his roommate. Kaito, uh, isn't here, but I'm sure he would love to talk to you." He'd probably light up as soon as he heard your voice.

"Where is he?" Aoko says bluntly.

Probably at his favorite bar, drinking himself half to death. Something within Atsushi snaps.

"Look, Nakamori-san, I don't know exactly why you aren't talking to Kuroba and then why you suddenly call demanding to talk to him, and it's probably none of my business. But he's been tormenting himself over you. Every time you don't show up, every time he sees you with someone else, he goes to some cheap bar and buries himself in alcohol," Atsushi spits out indignantly. "Do you want to take responsibility for that? Because he says you guys were good friends but it doesn't look like you're being much of a friend right now."

The other end of the phone is so silent Atsushi wonders if she has already hung up.

"And every time he comes home drunk and knocking everything over, I'm the one who cleans it up. I'm the one who has to tell him it'll be better in the morning, and I'm not even good at comforting. And you just ditch him time after time, after he's called you, texted you, and even stalked you enough to slip notes into your jacket. The last time he tried to find you, he stood out there for HALF A DAY before coming back. There's nothing more the poor guy can do, but he doesn't even blame you for anything," Atsushi rants. "He gets mad at ME for telling him he should rest. He's not talking to any of his old friends from Japan because all they do is to tell him to get over you. Do you love him, or are you just stringing him along?"

Aoko finally finds her voice, but it's weak and pitiful. "I—"

Atsushi sighs. "You know what? I really don't care what you do. But just meet with him. Tell him to back off or tell him you're sorry. Because he's spent a long time looking for you, and I want him to move on. Go off and have fun with your boyfriend and stop bothering Kuroba. He deserves better."

"I don't have a boyfriend," Aoko whispers.

"Oh, so you just go on dates, then."

"I—it's not like that, I just…I'm sorry," she chokes. "I..I didn't know…he's just always…"

Atsushi sighs again. "Tell you what, you can go pick him up today. I'll text you the address. If I went there, he'd just rage at me for telling him to forget you."

"I…thank you."

"I just want him to be happy."

oOo

Aoko steps out of the cab and walks briskly toward the entrance.

(I'm not worried I'm just going to pick him up and forget everything in the morning)

The inside of the bar is crowded and noisy, and the smell of cheap alcohol makes Aoko wince in disgust. "Kaito? Where are you?"

She finds him slumped against the counter, two shameless ladies still trying to flirt with him. She glares at them, pays the tab, and puts one of his arms around her shoulder.

As they walk the short distance back to Kaito's dorm, Aoko struggles to keep her balance and unwillingly recalls the last time his arm was around her, and how she pushed him away and said her goodbyes.

Kaito's smiling, all traces of Poker Face gone. "Hey Aoko!" he greets her for the millionth time. "I really really wanted to see you. But you went away!" he pouts, waving his arms around in the air.

"Shh, I'm here now, Kaito," Aoko says softly, taking a shortcut through a park and trying not to trip on tree roots.

Kaito laughs for what seems like forever, and the laugh turns into choking gasps. "You're never here," he mumbles. "You're not here."

Aoko's vision blurs. "Kaito, I'm sorry."

He laughs again. "Don't be sorry! I'm sorry!" He pats her sluggishly on the back. "I always ditched you for Kid stuff. You should ditch me some more. Then we'd be even."

She's crying now. The old Kaito would never let anyone see him like this—the old Kaito wasn't like this.

Kaito suddenly opens his eyes and frowns, shooting her a glance so sharp that for a moment she swore he was sober. "But you're with that other Kuroba guy. You don't love me anymore."

She only cries harder. "I…"

This time, Aoko is the one to stumble, and she effectively knocks Kaito over, landing in a jumbled mess of limbs and dirt. And suddenly, she can't breathe.

His eyes are brilliant, shining blue, and he's too close to her. "Gotcha," he whispers. "Don't run away."

She's paralyzed until she chokes on his breath. "You're drunk, Kaito."

"Not drunk," he says softly. "Just in love with you."

oOo

Brrringgg. Brrinnggg. "Aoko-san?"

"Kuroba-kun. I'm sorry."

"..what?"

"Let's just be friends."

oOo

The next day, Kaito wakes up to the worst hangover ever.

But it was worth it, because he remembers every single thing he said.

oOo

She's next to him on the plane. "Ready?"

"You know you're the one scared of planes, not me."

"I—" A faint blush covers her cheeks. "I am not!"

He laughs and ruffles her hair. "Why are you so cute?"

She frowns and turns away in mock-anger. "You're not supposed to say things like that."

"And why not?"

"It…it makes people think you like them."

Kaito smiles, bright and wide, and Aoko loses the ability to breathe yet again. "Does this mean I can kiss you now?"

Aoko blushes. "I-"

He doesn't let her finish her sentence.

oOo

I think I love you, you know.

I really think you could be my everything. I know I didn't believe in you before, but you were partly to blame for that. I didn't have much to hold onto, but you just took it all away and…I don't know, I just felt as if I didn't know you. And I didn't.

I don't know what we're going to do from now on, or when we're going to contact Ran-chan and Kudou-kun or Hattori-kun and Kazuha-chan to tell them that yes, we are finally together. It seems as if everything has changed awfully quickly.

I really think I love you. Sorry for being such a stubborn idiot.

(and every step is easier, every smile is brighter, every kiss is sweeter, because you're by my side)