Hello everyone! How have you been?! I hope you're ready for the last chapter of this fic and even more ready for S10 premiere in 6 days! First of all, i wanted to thank each and every one of you for reading my story, for your continuous support and amazing reviews. It means a lot to know that the effort i put in writing is appreciated, and it means so much more to know you actually like what you read! Thank you all for making the journey of writing Way To The Future amazing :) a special thanks goes to Quintessa, CileSuns92, MichelleBell16 and MsKylie93 for always suporting and collaborating with great opinions and ideas. Well, that being said... I wrote a massive final chapter, i thought it was appropriate and i apologize if i made you wait more than you wished, but life's still hectic, as i previously said. So i had a little free time this afternoon and started writing from scratch nonstop until i finished it. I got inspired and carried away by my major Fangirling after the amazing photos, sneak peeks and Shonda's tweet today clarifying Derek Bailey Shepherd's name ❤️❤️ So i really hope this chapter lives up to your expectations, giving this fic the ending it deserves and as a last distraction while we anxiously wait for next thursday night! We made it fandom! Thanks again, so much! I'll leave you to read the story and i'll continue rambling at the end.
Suggested soundtrack that was a source if inspiration: Ellie Goudling- How Long Will I Love You
How Long Will I Love You
One hour and ten minutes, that's how long Derek had been sitting over a hospital bed with Cristina beside him. Except that it didn't feel like one hour and ten minutes, it felt like an eternity.
Anguish had taken over him, sitting like this reminded him to a couple of years ago, when Meredith drowned, he was exasperated, uncertain of what would happen, thinking about how it could NOT be possible that this was the last time he had seen her. The difference was that this time, it was MUCH worse.
Not only did he have to think about losing Mer, about how it would destroy him. Because last time, well, last time he didn't even know for sure if he'd have Meredith for the rest of his life, things were still unsettled.
But now, she couldn't die. Mer, his Mer. The love of his life, the mother of his children, they had agreed to be together forever. This was their lifetime, this was the forever part. And forever couldn't end now.
Mer couldn't leave just yet. He was the one to die in her arms when he was110 years old.
Memories crossed Derek's mind. He and Meredith had been through so much together.
Pain..
"Pick me, choose me, love me."
Regret...
"I've been in love with you forever." "Because when i had to make a choice... I chose wrong."
Angst...
"I can't leave you, but you're constantly leaving me."
Hope...
"I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime." "I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to grow old with you." Tears streamed down his face as he remembered that day.
Growth...
"I was gonna tell you that this right here, is gonna be our kitchen. And that's the room where our kids could play."
"We can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart."
Commitment...
"I love you Meredith Grey, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Promises...
"This is forever." "So this is our wedding? A post-it?"
Fear and loss...
"You can't leave me. If you die i die!"
Joy...
"Derek, isn't that our baby?"
"Oh my God, Derek she's walking!"
"We are gonna have another baby."
There was just so much, so many things, and there was so much more they had ahead. This couldn't be over just yet.
Derek trembled at the thought of losing her, of only having the memories. There was no way that could happen. They had barely seen Zola grow a little, they had been a little over a year in the new house, and the baby, Mer didn't even get to hold him or tell Derek what she wanted his name to be.
He just knew he could never imagine his life and his kids life without Mer. Knowing she was lying on that operating table under so much risk was killing him. He'd give anything to have her by his side, safe and sound. He would do anything, but this time...there was nothing he could do.
Tears streamed slowly down his cheeks, every now and then Cristina and him would lock eyes and sighed, both of them seemed to be struggling to say something, but there was nothing to be said. They just had to hope and pray to God that their person would make it.
When the OR doors finally opened, an exhausted Bailey came out, walking slowly.
She took her mask off and started trembling as she talked "Meredith had a massive spleen bleed, I removed it but she.." Bailey chocked and trembled uncontrollably.
"Oh God." Cristina snapped.
Derek's face went pale and his heart stopped. This could not be true. He jumped and rushed into the OR with Cristina behind him.
They stormed inside and saw their two interns standing beside Meredith.
"She's fine. Bailey did it." Ross said.
"With an assist from Dr. Ross." Brooks clarified.
"Bailey decided that with the power out it's safer to keep her here until she wakes up." Ross said nervously.
"She's alive?" Cristina chocked.
"She's alive." Derek sighed in relief and kissed Meredith's forehead.
Bailey came back in.
"I'm sorry..guys.. I didn't mean to..to cry and scare you..i just oh!" She broke down in tears as Derek kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight.
Derek came back taking a chair and he sat by Meredith's side holding her hand.
"You gave me quite a scare Mer. Please don't do that ever again. We need you. I love you so much." He said and softly kissed her lips.
She looked so fragile and pale on that OR table. She had lost a large amount of blood. But shades of pink were slowly starting to cover her face.
"Cristina, i'm going to check on the baby for a minute okay? Can you stay with her and page me if she wakes up while i'm gone?" He asked her.
"Of course, i'll let you know if anything happens. Go." Cristina have him a smile and took Derek's place beside Meredith.
Derek rushed to the NICU to check on his little boy. Alex was taking care of him.
"Hey, he's breathing perfectly, very strong heartbeat and he's responding well to everything. Your kid's perfect Shep." Alex told him.
"Thank you so much Alex." Derek sighed.
"How's Mer doing?" Alex asked.
"She's stable now. Her splinter broke, possibly as a consequence of her fall yesterday. Bailey operated on her and saved her." Derek said with teary eyes, reliving the pain and fear with every word he spoke.
"Oh my God. But she's fine now right? She's going to be alright..?" Alex asked concerned.
"She'll be fine. She hasn't woken up just yet, but she's stable and getting better." Derek said softly.
"She'll be alright man. She's Mer, she's tough, she's a fighter." Alex said firmly. "And this little man is just like his mom." He smiled proudly at the baby.
Derek smiled watching his son. He picked him up and cooed, softly pacing with him in arms, caressing him and soothing him.
"Hey little one. You're doing great. Thanks for being good to uncle Alex. Your mommy is going to be fine. You'll see her soon okay? I just need you to be patient a little longer." He said as he kissed his baby's forehead.
Meanwhile, Cristina was sitting beside Meredith, observing the OR in the dark, illuminated by some dim lights. She suddenly felt Meredith move under the covers and heard her wince a little.
"Mer?" Cristina said.
"Huh, ouhh." Meredith winced and turned her head to face her opening her eyes.
"Oh God Mer. You're awake. You'll be alright. I know you're in pain. Dr. Bailey operated on you, you had a massive hemorrhage so she had to remove your spleen, but you'll be fine." Cristina told her.
Meredith looked at her, processing everything she had just been told. She smiled weakly. "Thank you." She said. "The baby,Der.." She started.
"Derek's with the baby, the baby's fine by the way. Derek's been here all the time and went to check on him for a little while, but i'll page him right away." Cristina said.
Meredith held Cristina's hand tightly.
"Mer, please don't do that again. You got me worried for a while thinking i'd have to take over and be your kid's mom." Cristina said teasing as she usually did.
Meredith just smiled at her comment. This was Cristina Yang being her person, showing her affection in her own peculiar way.
"Don't worry, you're not getting rid of me that easily." Meredith smirked.
"I know. You just enjoy messing with us." Cristina laughed. "But seriously, how are you feeling?"
"Very sore. But so much better than before. I was losing a lot of blood." Meredith said and Cristina nodded.
"Well, you're starting to get some color in your face so that's a good sign. And...you're in full mommy mode cause you haven't stopped glaring at my pager and the door waiting for Derek to show up with news of the baby." Cristina smirked and Meredith giggled.
At the NICU, Derek got Cristina's page and handed Bailey to Alex. "Mer's awake." He told him.
"I'll be right back."
"Go, don't worry. Your baby's in good hands." Alex smiled at him.
Derek ran to the OR where Meredith was, he opened the door and his eyes met hers. A smile was drawn across Meredith's face when she saw him come in.
"I'll leave you two alone. I have to go help and check on other patients, i'll visit later ok?" Cristina said.
Meredith nodded. "Thank you." She said softly.
Cristina stood up and left, giving Derek a soft palm on his shoulder as she crossed his path.
"Hey" Meredith said.
"Mer." Derek rushed to her side and kissed her softly. "God Mer, you got me so worried. I was so afraid of losing you. We can't lose you ever." Derek breathed out and tears fell down his face.
"Hey, i.. I'll be okay. Cristina told me. Bailey saved me and i'm going to be fine." She told him caressing his cheek with her hand.
"I love you so much." Derek told her.
"Me too." She grinned. "How's the baby?" Meredith asked.
"He's perfect, he's been under observation. I was with him, he's breathing and responding perfectly to everything, he's amazing Mer. He's beautiful, he looks just like you." Derek told her proudly.
Meredith grinned and tears rolled down her face as well. Unable to contain the emotions of everything that had happened to them in this past few hours.
"And Zo?" She asked. "She's at day care, fast asleep." Derek said with a smile.
"Derek, I want to see them." Meredith said anxiously.
"You will, very soon. Let's get you into a post-op room first and then i'll go pick them up so you can see them alright?" He offered smiling and kissing her again.
"Okay." Meredith grinned.
Thankfully, the power was on again so Derek and the interns took Meredith to a room. Shane and Heather helped setting up their things and preparing a basinet for the baby.
Once they had it all settled, Derek tenderly took Meredith in his arms and lifted her to lay her down on the hospital bed.
"Your hand, be careful not to hurt yourself." Meredith said.
"Mer, my hand's fine, plus, you're light as a feather. Are you okay like that or do you want me to help you sit down a little more?" He asked.
"I'm perfect." She smiled.
"Page us if you need anything sir." Ross said.
"I will, thank you guys." Derek smiled at the interns who delicately left.
"Okay, now i'm gonna settle the IV so it doesn't go in the way while you hold the baby." Derek smiled.
"Are you comfortable?" He asked her once more.
"Yeah, very. I'm just anxious to see him." Meredith said.
"I'll bring him in first. And i'll get Zola later okay?" He said.
"That's perfect." She smiled as he quickly left to get the baby leaving Meredith with other interns.
"Mer wants to see him." Derek said coming in to the NICU.
"I'm sure she's anxious." Alex said. "Here, we got him dressed and ready to see his mommy." He told him smiling at Jo.
"Thank you guys, i'll be back later." Derek grinned taking his baby boy in arms and going back to Meredith's room.
"You're going to see your mommy now." He told the baby. "She's very excited to see you, be good to her okay?" He cooed.
When he finally reached the door to Meredith's room, he took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Someone here came to see his mommy." Derek grinned. The words echoing inside his head making his heart burst with joy. He had dreamed about this moment so many times, he knew it would be amazing. But this was a kind of amazing he had never experienced, watching Meredith's expression when se saw the baby in his arms melted his heart, this was far beyond perfect.
"Hey.." Meredith said softly, extending her arms to receive the baby and hold him.
"Hi baby boy." She grinned. The baby opened up his eyes widely and looked at Meredith's. At that precise moment, it was as if the whole world had stopped. Everything was quiet and calm, peace, love and joy taking over the place.
Meredith had seen the look in the mother's faces when they first held their newborn babies, she had just never imagined it would feel this way.
Meredith blinked countless times, reassuring herself that it was her son she was holding. She smiled brightly staring at the tiny human that was in her arms. He was perfect, their miracle baby. Healthy and happy.
"He's so beautiful and little." She said looking up to Derek.
"He's amazing. He looks so much like you. His nose, lips, his hair, he's exactly like you." Derek said smiling not being able to take his eyes from his son and Meredith.
They both smiled at their son with love and pride. He stirred in his mothers arms, staring at his parents with wide eyes.
The baby whimpered a little, Meredith cooed and soothed him. "I know." She said. "I missed you too so much my love, but i'm here now. I'm never letting you go." She said kissing his forehead, caressing his tiny fingers.
Both Meredith and Derek knew they would love their baby forever. Just like they knew with Zola. They were both their kids and they loved them infinitely. There was nothing in the world they wouldn't do or be for them.
They stayed like that for a long while. Taking in every movement their son made, mesmerized by every single breath he took and by how beautiful he was.
The little baby looked at both his parents, resting comfortably in Mer's arms.
"So, what are we going to call him?" Derek asked again as the last time they were talking about it they couldn't arrive to a definite decision.
"Uhm, i have been thinking, while Shane was operating on me and i was still conscious...that, i would like him to be named Derek." Meredith bit her lip and gave him a wide smile.
Derek's eyes went wide and sparkled. "My name? Derek Jr.?" He asked.
"Yeah Der, your name, you're his dad. And of course we will call him Derek, not Derek Jr." She chuckled.
"But, he's our little boy, i don't want him to only have our last names. And if there's someone who i want him to be named after...it's you." Meredith said.
Derek's eyes got watery listening to his wife's sweet words. "I...think it's a great idea." He grinned unable to contain the joy.
"That's what i thought." Meredith smiled back. "Besides, we already know Derek Shepherd sounds great." She gave him a sideways smile.
"Well, that's true." He smirked. "So Derek it is."
"Yeah, he's our little Derek. He'll definitely be a mini-you." Meredith grinned.
"Thank you Mer." He said. "And what will his middle name be?" He asked.
"That i don't know, we have to think about it." Meredith admitted. "But well, at least we have a first name." She giggled cooing and grinning at the baby, who seemed amused to hear his mom's laugh.
"I can't believe we almost didn't have this." Derek sighed.
"I know... I was so scared. I am still terrified. I don't ever want anything bad to happen to them or us." Meredith said.
"Neither do i." Derek said.
"I fought, i didn't stop fighting. Not even for a second. I never gave up." Meredith said firmly. "I just wanted you to know that." She sighed
"I know you did Mer. Thank you, for fighting, for staying. I don't know what we would do without you. I can't live without you." He told her and succumbed to the urge of kissing her.
Derek sat beside her and held her in his arms, as she rested her back on his chest, holding their baby in her arms.
"Forever, remember?" Meredith whispered.
"Forever." Derek echoed and smiled.
"This is so amazing. I can't believe he's here already." Meredith breathed out excited.
"He's perfect Mer. He's ours."
"Yeah, he is. Forever." She smiled.
"Hey, do you think he's ready to meet his sister?" Derek asked.
"I think he is."
"Okay, i'll go get Zola. I'll be right back." He smiled and kissed them both.
"We won't move, promise." Meredith giggled.
Some minutes later, Derek was back in sight, carrying a slightly sleepy Zola in arms.
"Hey sweetie." Meredith greeted her.
"Momma!" Zola said happily seeing Meredith.
"Zo, remember we talked about how your baby brother was going to be here soon for you to meet him?" Meredith said. "Well, he's here princess, you want to see him?" She asked.
Zola nodded quietly and stared in awe at the little baby Meredith was holding.
"This is your baby brother Zo." Derek said walking closer to Meredith's bed so that Zola could see little Derek up close.
"About the middle name.." Meredith said smiling endlessly at her son. Derek captivated watching Mer with their baby, so natural and perfect, as if they had been like that since forever.
The baby whimpered a little. Meredith soothed him and softly rubbed his back, cooing him. "What do you think about Bailey?" She asked.
"Bailey?!" Derek said.
"Do you like it?" Meredith asked.
"I love it." He grinned and she giggled.
The baby whimpered a little more, Meredith patted him softly and soothed him, grinning in awe at her beautiful baby boy, while Derek kept holding Zola, who was mesmerized by her little brother.
Cristina observed the sweet scene from outside. She smiled watching Meredith so happy. This is what Meredith had always wanted but was scared to have. And now, she finally had it and it made her as happy as she'd never been before.
Cristina slowly walked away, knowing that amidst so many awful things going on. Mer's wish had come true and she was genuinely happy for her.
Derek, Meredith, Zola and baby Derek remained like that, the only sounds to be heard were the now calm rain falling down against the windows and small whimpers from the baby every now and then.
This was the kind of moment that could never be planned or expected. Because, just as the best things in life, it came as a surprise, beautifully taking over everyone's minds and souls, making them feel an infinite joy that nothing would ever take away.
So... This is it! My take on a couple of MerDer centered scenes that i imagined would have been a perfect for ep. 9x24 :) i really hope you liked it and enjoyed the entire fanfic. This chapter has a mix of feelings, anguish, fear, hope, joy and especially love. Thank you all again for taking your time to read my fanfic, you're all amazing! and as a last request, i'd love it if you could PLEASE REVIEW! For the last time! :) Have an amazing weekend! We'll be all joined watching the season premiere next week! :)