A/N: Oh, you know, just gonna post another darkfic... One of my long-time readers really loves this pairing so I'm gonna give it a shot. We'll see how it turns out. :) Goku is going to be mildly OOC in this when his Saiyan side comes out. I figured right after they get married is a perfect time because neither of them knows his true heritage yet. Whoop whoop. This is based on a quote from "Persuasion" by Jane Austen that I absolutely love. She is the queen of romance.

Warnings: Strong sexual content, probs non-con, mild abuse.

Pairings: Goku/Chi-Chi; all else is canon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything affiliated with it.

-MalRev

You pierce my soul.

I am Half Agony and half hope.

{ Chapter the First }

There's a marked fragility to our perceptions of people.

It balances precariously on a margin of positive and negative; a neutral place where you are just comfortable enough with someone to suffice. One small indiscretion and your perception will tilt too far and shatter, grinding your preconceived notions to a fine powder before an apology can be uttered. It is a tightrope walk we all have to endure, struggling to hold ourselves up in the presence of others.

One day you meet someone and that agonizing play of self-control becomes nothing. You can be yourself for once—laugh and cry, talk and sit in utter silence, express your deepest wishes and worst desires. Finally, you can breathe. It's a lot like feeling the first touch of sunshine after a particularly harsh winter: the warm glow on your skin, pulling you out of the cold trenches and back to life.

Your shoulders droop on your tightrope and you collapse into their waiting arms without having to worry about judgment or shame. They will love you for all eternity. There is nothing they want more than to protect your heart and kiss your tears away. It is the ultimate satisfaction to know that you will be eternally loved and never have to worry about that terrible tightrope.

What we perceive can break so easily. What we want isn't always what we get. What we feel isn't always reciprocated. What we see isn't always what is truly there.

Communication is key. That was what they told me while zipping up my wedding dress. If you keep a man's stomach full he will never stray. I'd laugh and wave them off. Goku's appetite wasn't anything new to me. The first thing he would want to do on our honeymoon would involve a buffet.

I looked beautiful. My hair was braided with flowers carefully knit into the folds. Goku and I had saved my mother's wedding dress and I couldn't be happier. There were even doves. I eagerly clutched my bouquet while Bulma stood back and held her hands over her mouth, eyes glittering with mixed envy and awe. Everything fit me to a "t."

Goku is so innocent. He won't even know what to do when you're naked.

Bulma clapped her hands when I twirled. "Oh, Chi-Chi, you look stunning! He isn't gonna know what to do with himself when he sees you!"

It was already established that I was the commander in Goku and I's relationship. He hung back and followed my orders, afraid to say anything different. I smiled and looked at myself in the mirror, admiring the make-up and general splendor of my wedding day. We were eighteen. The two of us were still kids who had no real direction in life yet.

Head trauma wasn't enough to keep Goku placid and gentle.

My song started and I hurried to meet my father, who had somehow squeezed himself into a suit. He wiped tears from his eyes and I kissed his unshaven cheek. Poor papa. He was so happy to see me happy but deep down he knew I was making a mistake. He wanted me to be content. He kept his mouth closed and stuffed his opinion so far down his throat that I worried he'd choke on it.

The curtains of the tent I was set up in were pulled back and my eyes immediately moved to the altar where he was waiting for me. Goku had his hands clasped in front of him and he was looking up at the sky, squinting toward some unseen object. Krillin jabbed him in the ribs and jerked his head in my direction but Goku still hesitated before looking.

It was like gazing into my future when our eyes met. His black hair swayed gently in the breeze and he grinned widely at me. I could see it all: the small house dad built for us, kids running around in our backyard, a pet dog barking and panting while Goku tilled the garden. I would keep our house spotless and neat and always make sure there was dinner on the table for our family.

Guests murmured and nodded in appreciation of my dress as I proceeded down the walkway. I felt incredibly shy for some reason with Goku's eyes on me and pressed closer to my father. He put one giant hand over mine and squeezed. It wasn't reassuring. It was nervous.

We stood beside one another while the priest recited his lines. Goku didn't hide his boredom very well even though I repeatedly told him to do so. He glanced around and put his hands in his pockets while people in the crowd snickered, familiar with his antics. Krillin shook his head and I shot my fiancé a dirty look until he calmed down and stood stone still. I didn't want him interfering with my big day.

"Sure!" I heard Goku said brightly.

I'd started daydreaming during the vows. I quickly regained my composure and smiled when the priest turned to ask if I accepted Goku as my lawfully wedded husband. Back then, we all thought Goku was a normal human being. He was the epitome of selflessness: kind and generous, unlike most of the people in or near West City. Grandpa Gohan had raised his son perfectly.

"I do," I said.

Goku is so sweet. He wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

My new husband blinked in surprise and I rolled my eyes, turning to take his face between my hands. His black eyes were wide with confusion as I swiftly moved forward to kiss him on the mouth. He drew back in surprise while everyone started cheering and clapping, touching his mouth with a furrowed brow. I laughed and started to turn when he suddenly grabbed me to initiate an even more intense kiss.

It was the first signal. I ignored it, pinning the behavior on his excitement. He was unwilling to pull away from me and continued staring at me in awe even as we walked down the aisle together. I waved, beaming so bright I could've lit up a faraway planet.

The reception was short and pleasant. I couldn't wait to leave for our honeymoon for obvious reasons and Goku soon became likewise invigorated, making sure he made rounds to talk to everyone I pointed out. We opened gifts, ate cake, danced and laughed the entire day away. It was the greatest kind of drug. I was married to a perfect man who couldn't keep his eyes off me.

Literally.

We sat down together during a slow song and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He pressed his face into my hair and inhaled deeply. Everyone else was out enjoying the music, slowly swaying to the melody. Even Yamcha and Bulma had set aside their differences for a pleasant evening.

"This was a perfect day," I murmured. "Thank you for working so hard, Goku. I can't wait to go back to our new house and just relax together. Isn't it so exciting?"

My husband shifted. His jaw clenched. "Yeah, it sure is. I want to do that thing again that we did at the altar. It felt gross before but now I like it." He snapped his fingers to summon the memory. "Kissing! Yeah, I like kissing. Want to do it right now?"

"We can't, silly. Not with all these people around. But I'll give you plenty of kisses later on."

That seemed to placate him. For a while.

Soon the reception was over and we were getting ready to leave. The Nimbus came along to give us a ride and Goku scooped me up in his arms as I waved farewell to all our family and friends. It was pure bliss. I couldn't wait to begin my long, happy life with Goku.

We arrived at the house and everything seemed normal enough. Dad had already moved my things in so we could enjoy our alone time. I giggled as Goku carried me inside, effortlessly shifting me from one arm to the next to open the door. God, he was so strong. I appreciated it when he was tearing holes through our enemy's chests or otherwise protecting me but it was about to become my worst enemy.

It was dark inside. My husband set me on my feet and scratched his head, searching for a light switch while I struggled to unzip my dress. It was going to be difficult to catch Goku's attention but Bulma had given me a few tips, though I blushed and hid my face the entire time. I didn't want to talk about it. She had known Goku even longer than me and part of me was jealous.

My feet ached terribly so I kicked my shoes off. My zipper had gotten snagged in the back, which meant I was trapped in my dress until I could get help. I huffed impatiently and called Goku for help.

He peered around the corner of the kitchen. The house was still dark. "What's wrong, Chi?"

"I can't get my dress off." I turned in circles, desperately pulling at the zipper. It was precious to me because it belonged to my mother but it hadn't been worn in so long that parts weren't fitting together right. "Can you help me? Please be careful."

The sound of his feet moving with heavy deliberateness toward me didn't raise any flags. I threw up my hands in defeat and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for my husband to help me out. He was always solving my problems now. I could rest easy with Son Goku by my side.

He tried for a few seconds, muttering about pesky clothes. The zipper didn't budge a centimeter. My hair was still in a ponytail but it was so long that I had to hold it out of the way. He kept trying until I stepped forward and waved him away, worried that he would rip my only memory of mom. After all, we were still teenagers. Our hormones were running wild.

Goku stepped forward. "C'mon, I can get it."

I stepped back. It was a beautiful ballet. "No way, you're not careful enough. I'll get it and meet you upstairs in a few minutes. I think it's starting to come loose…"

He twisted his neck a few times like he had something stuck in it. I'd never seen Goku annoyed before so I didn't know what to make of it. Then he stepped toward me again and I glared at him before shuffling back another foot, keeping space between us. Jeez, didn't he get it? I wanted space.

"Let me help," he repeated. "I wanna kiss again like before and—"

"No. Go upstairs and wait for me, Goku. You need to learn some patience."

Ah, a lover's quarrel. It had the ability to bring out things no one wanted to see.

My husband puffed up irately. He wasn't accustomed to being forceful. "Chi-Chi, I'm just trying to help you. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? I promise I won't rip the dress, even though I don't get why you care so much about it."

"You'll rip it."

"No, I won't. I swear. I can be gentle."

One would think that was all Son Goku knew. I learned quickly that it wasn't the case. Sometimes, he couldn't control himself. Emotions boiled over and took control.

I poked my index finger into his chest. This was what brought out the nastiness in me. People didn't understand what it was like living with him and that was compounded by us not understanding his heritage. We were so confused. We didn't know what to do. Goku didn't know what to do.

In the next moment I was slammed against the wall, forcing my hands away from my back to brace my body for the impact. Empty picture frames rattled as I stared in shock at Goku through the thickening darkness that covered our new home. He was scowling. I had never seen him so upset before.

He rubbed the back of his head, immediately backing down into submission. "Gosh, I'm so sorry, Chi. Really, I didn't meant to push you like that. Guess we can't fight like we used to, huh?"

It was what he knew. It was all he knew. No one had taught him to control the raging monster within; the gnawing drive to beat the life out of other people for fun—the desire to conquer. It was a trait of his entire race and it still burned in him. Maybe it was the moon or maybe it was his age that finally brought it out into the light for my love-clouded eyes. My mouth ran dry.

No. It was a fluke. He was tired.

I recollected myself. "It's okay. I'll get this thing off somehow."

My husband shoved a fist to his mouth and started gnawing on his knuckles like a teething toddler. He kept his other arm firmly secured under the first like he was afraid he would do something bad with it. I was a bit shaken from his outburst. It wasn't like the Goku I knew.

The dream was dissipating fast in our darkened little home nestled in the mountains. I could feel it all slipping through my fingers, melting under the intensity of my opened eyes. Goku was not perfect.

Again he stepped toward me, falling back slightly on his heel. He was restraining himself. Why? "Please, Chi-Chi, I'm trying to ask nicely for you to let me help."

"You look pale. Maybe you should go to bed and we can—"

The life I had inherited had not followed an easy path. I had witnessed horrors, including watching my fiancé have a hole blown through his chest, but I still stayed strong. Papa had raised me to be strong-willed and no nonsense like my mother; the type of woman who could run a household and keep her husband in line. I never imagined feeling any kind of fear around Son Goku.

But when his two big hands shoved me violently into the wall again I became paralyzed. He held his palms to my shoulders this time to keep me in place and I wanted to disappear. His Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed and a remorseful sheen turned his black eyes a light grey.

Then he stumbled back, rubbing his eyes with his forearm. "I think I need some fresh air."

I couldn't bring myself to watch him leave. My body was trembling.

Our bliss had begun.