A/N: Hello everyone! This is my very first Merlin fanfiction so I hope you enjoy. XD
This is dedicated to my good friend, Harpfire.
When I saw the finale, I was devastated. I couldn't even process what had happened and when I did, I couldn't stop crying. I have never grown so attached to a series before, and the ending, though beautiful and touching, did not satisfy me. This fanfiction is a continuation of the fifth series as an attempt to alleviate the feels.
Warning: There will be spoilers for all seasons so if you haven't seen the finale yet, don't read this! Also, this story is very dark and there will be angst and triggers everywhere. THERE WILL BE A TON OF ANGST. But it will get lighter towards the end. Do not fear!
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. But I am thinking about getting a black lab and naming it Merlin to make up for it.
Chapter 1
Agony. Pain. Sorrow. Sadness. Regret.
Emotions filled the crevices of his soul as he looked down at Arthur, placing a hand on the king's pale face. His vision blurred and his breath came in gasps as large sobs escaped his lips.
He was useless, hopeless, unneeded. He wanted to scream, his magic bubbling in his chest like a raging wildfire, waiting to devour anything that stood in his path. He took a shuddering breath and looked down at his king, his friend.
"Arthur..." he began, pausing as his throat choked with tears. "I... I don't really know what to say to you... I guess I just wanted to tell you... well, it's been great to have known you... You were a wonderful king and a wonderful friend. Just... don't be a prat in the afterlife..." Merlin stopped, his chest constricting with sorrow.
"Well... What I mean to say is... I am really going to miss you," Merlin finished, sobbing harder than before.
He removed his hand from Arthur's cold forehead, his eyes flashing bright gold. The boat moved towards the center of the lake, carrying Arthur away from Merlin. He was broken.
Defeat. Failure. Aloneness. That was all Merlin could feel as he slumped to the ground, wrapping his arms around himself as if to hold his body together against the emotions.
He had failed.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Merlin blinked the sleep from his eyes, glancing around in confusion. It all came back to him in waves. "Arthur..." he muttered, his chest constricting and his mind feeling fuzzy. He pushed himself up, hands scrabbling in the dust.
He didn't know what to do with himself. He felt lost as he remembered Gaius, who was probably waiting for him with a bowl of stew on the table. He didn't cry. He was too far gone to feel anything anymore.
His mind didn't even register the crashing sound coming from the trees behind him as a large knight moved through the forest. Percival broke through the undergrowth, eyes resting upon the figure by the water.
"Merlin?" Percival asked disbelievingly. He approached the younger man slowly, hesitantly. The warlock tried to stand, his legs too weak to support him. He turned, looking up at his friend, eyes dull.
"What happened?" Percival asked, approaching Merlin as if he were a wounded animal. He bent down next to the figure, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"W... what?" Merlin asked, his mind finally realizing who was standing in front of him.
"What happened, Merlin? Where is Arthur?" Percival asked, his voice low and kind.
And now, Merlin did cry, tears streaking down his face in little rivers. "De.." He couldn't even finish the word.
Percival pulled his friend into a hug, feeling the warlock tremble in his arms like a lost child. The knight's thoughts whirled inside his head as he realized what had transpired. The king was dead.
Merlin pulled slowly away from Percival, his eyes turned towards the ground.
"You have to come back to Camelot now, Merlin," Percival said.
"No," Merlin muttered weakly.
"Gaius is probably worried about you, Merlin," he tried again.
"NO!" Merlin snapped. "You don't understand! I can't go back there!"
"Merlin..." Percival began. "You have to come. You are unwell..."
Merlin tried to stand again, his legs giving out completely and sending him sprawling to the ground. "Please," he whispered. "Don't make me go back."
"I'm sorry," Percival said, picking up the wiry body and standing up straight. Merlin struggled weakly for a moment before giving up and letting Percival carry him back to Camelot.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The great dragon lay still on the ground, his golden flank rising and falling slowly. The sky was darkening, the sun casting red light over his brilliant gold scales.
There was the sound of wings flapping in the distance and Kilgharrah opened one eye. The great dragon watched as a smaller dragon landed in the clearing.
"Aithusa," Kilgharrah said. "I am glad you have come."
Aithusa crept forward, resting her muzzle on her mentor's side. She looked deep into the golden eye, her own eyes filled with sadness.
"There are many things I wish to tell you and not much time so listen carefully."
Aithusa nodded her small, white head once.
"The Once and Future King is dead. You must watch over Emrys, for he will not take the king's death lightly. I need you to give him a message for me. Merlin, I speak directly to you. Do not mourn Arthur's death, but rejoice because he will rise again. You must not wallow in your grief for too long, young Warlock."
The great dragon paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing. "I will not forget you, Merlin. Please do not forget me."
Kilgharrah's voice was becoming weaker as he said this. "Now I speak to you, Aithusa. I am sorry for not looking after you as I should. I blame myself for what has happened to you, and I hope that someday, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You are the last of your kind. Do not waste your life as I have wasted mine. Farewell, young one."
And with those words, the great dragon's head fell to the ground. He took one, final, shuddering breath before his body lay still.
TBC