You used to captivate me with your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

My Immortal - Evanescence

Blood covered Stiles' hands as he tried to keep the man lying in his lap alive.

"Derek, please, please, please stay awake, don't die, fucking stay awake." Stiles begged, shaking the slowly fading body, trying desperately to keep him alive.

Derek's grasp on Stiles' arm slowly began to loosen as his life slowly faded from him.

Stiles shook Derek again, harder this time, more desperately. "Derek, keep your eyes on me, just breathe, Scott and Isaac are on their way, just keep your eyes on me."

Derek tried to keep his eyes open, he really did, but everything was spinning, and there were spots dancing across his vision. Honestly, he could barely see anything but the blurry outline of Stiles' face. He could feel every fiber of his being shutting down and he didn't even bother to keep trying to stay alive, he just couldn't anymore, he was tired, and he was hurting, he had lost every little will to survive and he didn't care. He just wanted it all to end.

Derek forced his eyes to open, gave Stiles the best smile he could manage and whispered, "I'm sorry." and that was it, he was gone.

Stiles let the tears roll down his cheeks as he cradled Derek's lifeless body and let out a cry in agony.

Stiles woke up screaming; his heart felt ready to burst and he could barely breathe.

Stiles clutched his chest and tried to calm his pounding heart.

It took a few moments before his heart began beating regularly again, once it did Stiles sighed heavily.

That wasn't the first time he had that dream, he had had it several times actually, too many to count, and it got worse each time.

That terrible day had occurred five years ago and Stiles still couldn't find it in himself to forget about it.

Everything had changed for Stiles after that day, he stopped talking to everyone acquainted with Derek, he even stopped talking to Scott.

The first few weeks after Derek's death had been terrible; the nightmares were a constant thing at the time. The memories haunted him often; sometimes they were so terrible he would have a panic attack. It didn't happen often but every time it happened was fucking terrifying. And Stiles wasn't even going to mention the self harm that followed with Derek's death.

Stiles had kept most of the details from his dad, just told him that he lost a good friend but he'd be okay.

He had been lying; his current life only seemed to prove that further. He was good at putting up a front though, so his dad didn't seem to notice. Nobody seemed to notice, and Stiles was just fine with that.

Stiles had graduated high school at 17 and moved out of his dad's place a year later, he stayed in California but stayed as far away from Beacon Hills as possible.

Stiles shook his head; he wasn't going to think about this right now. Stiles ran a hand through his hair before checking the time, it was 7:30.

"Shit!" Stiles exclaimed, jumping out of bed and hastily pulling on a pair of jeans, he had exactly thirty minutes to get to work or his boss (who just so happened to be a fucking asshole) would make him work late again.

Stiles scrambled over to his closet, grabbed his work shirt and tugged it over his head as quickly as possible. Stumbling out of his bedroom and into his living room Stiles grabbed his black converse and his car keys, he was about to leave the house when he heard a soft whimper from behind him.

Stiles turned around to see his dog (wolf dog to be precise) staring at him expectantly.

Stiles' lips quirked upwards in a small smile. "I almost forgot," (which was a lie by the way, he did forget) Stiles said with a sigh he head into the kitchen and fed the dog as quickly as possible.

The moment he set the dog bowls on the floor he was heading towards the door again. Stiles was half way out the door when he peeked his head back inside. "Sorry I can't take you out for a walk today Shep, I'm late again, but I promise when I get back we'll go for a nice long run, okay?" Shep barked in response and Stiles grinned. "See ya later!" Stiles called before shutting the door and heading to his Jeep.

Stiles had made it to his job at the local book store with literally one second to spare. He grinned in triumph as he walked through the door.

His boss was standing at the door with a scowl on his face. "You're damn lucky Stilinski," His boss stated gruffly. "I was just about ready to give you the late shift and make you reorganize the book shelves."

"Yeah, well, I'm on time, so no late shifts or organizing book shelves for me." Stiles said trying to keep the bubbling rage out of his voice.

His boss just rolled his eyes and turned around, walking back to his office in the back of the store.

Stiles stuck his tongue out at him as he left. "Bastard…" He muttered under his breath.

"Late for work again, Stilinksi?" said a female voice from behind him.

Stiles turned to see his co-worker Erin leaning up against a wall, a knowing smirk plastered on her face.

Erin was a little taller than Stiles and had always teased him about it, she was a blonde with short wavy hair, she had beautiful hazel eyes that Stiles felt he could stare at for eternity, she was a sweetheart and was always there for Stiles but she never thought twice about calling Stiles out on his shit if she needed to.

Stiles was a little apprehensive about making friends when he first got employed but after a while he came to enjoy her presence and now they were so close they were almost siblings.

Stiles sighed, "Nope, he's just being an asshole, like always."

Erin chuckled, "Sounds like our boss."

Stiles headed to the door to switch the sign to open. While Stiles settled in for duty he began talking. "Sooooo what's been goin' on with you, anything' new with you and Jake?" That was Erin's long term boyfriend, she loved him a lot, but recently he's been dealing with some drug issues and Erin's been having to put up with his shit.

Erin shook her head. "Nah, same as always, my boyfriend's still an idiot and I still refuse to leave him. What about you? Find a lucky lady yet?" She said with a wolfish grin.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "No, I have not found a lucky lady yet, thank you very much."

Erin sighed, "You seriously need to get out more, Stilinski. You're an awesome guy; you deserve an equally awesome girl."

Stiles let his lips curl upwards in a lazy smile. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I just… I dunno, just doesn't sit right with me, y'know? I'm just not sure whether or not I'm ready."

Erin just nodded in silent understanding.

Just then a customer walked through the door.

Erin was about to ask her if she needed any help but instead came up to Stiles and whispered. "Just try to get out and stop being so hard on yourself, alright?"

Stiles nodded and Erin ruffled his hair and gave him a lopsided grin. "Good, now I'm gonna get back to work like the good employee I am."

By the time the bookstore had closed later, Stiles was exhausted, and he hadn't even done that much.

To tell the truth he hadn't really done anything, business was pretty slow that day and Erin dealt with most of the customers. Honestly all Stiles had really done was ring up some stuff for a few customers and read John Green's 'Looking For Alaska' when he had free time.

Erin had left as soon as the store closed, claiming that it was Stiles' turn to close up the shop (even though he had closed shop the last five days). His boss had also left early, saying something about a family emergency, Stiles didn't really remember, he rarely ever listened to his boss when he talked.

So Stiles was left alone to close up shop, he was just about to lock up and leave when he heard the front door open. "The shop is closed, sorry!" He called, grabbing his bag and rounding the corner.

"We'll be open at eight tomorrow morning if you want to…come…by… later…" His sentence trailed off and his voice became significantly higher.

"S-Stiles..." The man breathed heavily, he looked exhausted.

Stiles stared in disbelief, frozen in place. It couldn't be; there was no way.

Stiles' throat felt dry and scratchy, he tried to speak but no words came out.

"Stiles…" The man repeated, it came out smoother this time, less pained, but exhaustion was still plain in his voice.

Stiles had to swallow several times before he was able to speak again. "D-Derek…?"

"Stiles… I-I…" Before Derek could finish the sentence he passed out on the book store floor.

Stiles was at his side in a second, he quickly checked for a pulse. Thankfully, Derek had a pulse, it wasn't weak but it wasn't as strong as he would have wanted either.

Quickly and carefully Stiles pulled Derek up and slung Derek's arm around his shoulder, dragging him out of the book store and to his Jeep.

It took Stiles a while to get Derek into the Jeep but eventually, he did. Stiles climbed into the driver's seat and stared at the man in the seat next to him.

This was actually happening, Derek was back, he was actually back, holy mother of God, Derek was back.

Stiles didn't even try to hide the ridiculous grin that spread across his face; it's not like anybody could see him anyway.

The drive to Stiles' apartment was a slow one, well, at least it seemed slow, agonizingly so to tell the truth.

When they finally, finally reached Stiles' apartment, Stiles had a hard time getting Derek out of the car without banging his head up against another car, or just dropping him flat on the pavement.

Stiles dragged Derek to his apartment on the second floor, which was also a challenge and Stiles really had no idea how he had managed it.

Surprisingly Stiles made it into the apartment without killing Derek or himself.

Stiles unlocked the door to his apartment and damn, Derek was friggin' heavy.

Stiles was dragging Derek inside when he heard Shep bark happily. "Um, Shep, we're gonna have to cancel that run for today, we've got bigger problems." Stiles said, leaning Derek's limp body against the small sofa in his living room.

When Stiles settled down on the couch with Shep curled up next to him, Stiles decided to take that time to think.

Derek's back, he's alive, no more nightmares, no more panic attacks, no more cutting himself, no more alcohol to wash way the pain, no more thoughts of suicide, no more anything because Derek's back, and Stiles isn't letting him go anywhere, not while he's still alive anyway.

Stiles fell asleep listening to Derek's steady heartbeats and Shep's light snoring.